**TAMOXIFEN 17 **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

blimey- we're almost up to our limit...so brand new shiny,sparkling thread.

Hi everyone and welcome to the new people. I had a relatively easy time of it - diagnosed August and had a lumpectomy, sentinel biopsy and radiotherapy. Just on tamoxifen now and feeling fine. Until you get your biopsy report you don't really know how it will be. Sorry can't stop, need to finish packing, heap of things found but need rationalising as I think I have too much. Will be travelling tomorrow but should be able to post once I get to my cousin's place. Trying to travel light but havent got there yet! Forgot to turn machine on earlier so second pair of jeans still in wash. Aargh.

Hi all. Am tentatively wandering this way, feeling a bit fraudulent, as I don't have a diagnosis yet. MaryAnnSingleton suggested I come over here. have read some of your posts here and am overwhelmed by your strength and positivity.

On wednesday I had ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy for an unidentified lump in my right breast. I have o go back to the hospital next Thursday to get the results.

The consultant seemed positive that it would be benign, gave it a rating of 3. Not sure what that means really. . .

Just feeling really scared

Hi Ned the thing to remember is that it is only 10% of all breast lumps that are sinister and even if they are they are usually completely treatable. At worst it is a horrible bump in life's rich journey, sounds ludicrous but I feel that my treatment( mastectomy, chemo, tamoxifen) has added more to my life than it has taken. I have made wonderful friends, some on this thread, and realised a lot about myself. Please don't let fear take over. Whatever the result you will be able to cope, and the likelihood is that all is fine. Very best wishes and sorry if I sound like a pompous cow!

Not pompous in the least! Complete respect to you

I just hope that I would have the strength to go through what you clearly have lived through, if I have to. I think I would have to keep my beautiful DS in mind. . .

I know the statistics are in my favour, but it doesn't make the waiting any easier.

Thanks for responding

Hi NedSchneebly - Similar to what jchocchip described. I was diagnosed early October after being recalled after a (first) routine mammogram. The ultra sound and biopsy was next, but I was told there and then they were 75% certain it was a tumour. I waited the 8 days or so for the final diagnosis and the waiting is the worse bit. I had a lumpectomy and sentinel biopsy early November and have recovered quite well from that. I start radiotherapy next week. Just being in the system was a huge shock for me. Ask whatever occurs to you. You can have your hand held here.

Hello Ned and welcome, but sorry you are here (IYKWIM). The waiting is the hard part, and its only natural to feel scared - we've all been there. It sounds as if your consultant feels positive about your lump - which is good, but I know it's impossible to relax until you have your actual results.

I think the first thing is to get through that bit (your results appointment), don't let your mind wander into might be's and what ifs. Keep chatting -hand holding is our speciality

I totally second what ILGC says - whatever the outcome of your biopsy, you will cope, BC is a very treatable disease these days. And hopefully it won't come to that and you will be fine. At the moment one step at a time, - deal with what you know, not what you are imagining might be.

Meantime, do things to keep busy and keep your mind off things as much as possible

xx

hello again Ned - hand holding offers aplenty.
Interesting what ILGC said - since my diagnosis I've also made some amazing new friends,on here and in real life and actually have learned a huge amount about myself and turned into a very creative person,much more so than before breast cancer- weird !

Hi Nec I will hold your hand too. you are further down the road than me, I go on Jan 10 to have my lump looked at, and am taking comfort from the fact that 90 per cent of people get good news, and , if I am in the other 10 then this thread is full of inspirational people. good luck for next thursday.

Hi - thanks so much for the responses. I am trying to take comfort as not had a diagnosis and know the results of treatment are excellent. I just cannot get over the chemotherapy thing as if I needed it and was not able to continue what I am doing for 4-6 months it would be negatively life altering but not in a financial way....

Does anyone know if you can have radiotherapy instead of chemotherapy?

I am afraid this is one of those times you have to go with the experts, they want to save your life so appreciate it. It is a win win situation since we all want the sane thing!

Not everyone is offered chemo. It depends on the path report. My lump was smallish and grade 2 with no node involvement and surgery, radiotherapy and tamoxifen was the treatment. While I was waiting for results I was convinced the lump felt enormous, had spread and I would need the book thrown at it. Try not to imagine the worst. Waiting is awful and it is a natural thing to do.

Time for a !

Morning All

Welcome ned , keep posting and getting your hand held . Try not to think of all the what ifs yet (yeah right !) untill you actually get some results . And even if you get the result none of us want , it is all do-able , just take one step at a time and try not to think too far ahead .

Silver as jane said , not everyone is a candidate for chemo . But please do take your Consultants reccommendations seriously , they really do know what they are talking about .

You were up late last night ILGC , are you ok ?

Off for rads shortly . Am a wee bit red and swollen still . And bizarrely seem to have prickly heat ! Saw doc yesterday (review apt at rads clinic) and he says it's not too bad right now so that's good .

Annoyed , got to buy car tax today . Wouldn't mind , but we are getting the new car withing the next 2/3 weeks (no official date yet) , grrrr !

Right , finish coffee and get my arse upstairs to the bathroom .
Later Ladies

Thanks everyone! Feels good to be here, whatever happens. . . Definitely feel lots of hands in mine. I can't tell anyone else apart for DH in RL, cos my parents will stress more than me, and my MIL will want to talk about it all the time, which I can't cope with. Was feeling a bit alone til I got here

Does anyone know what rating of 3 means? Have googled it, and seems to be "probably OK, but will investigate anyway" I.e. With biopsy. Is that about right? It just feels like 3 out of 5 sounds worse than "it'll probably be OK" ???

I just think about all the worst possibilities in the middle of the night- I think its cos it's all happened so quickly - which is obviously good- but in 6 weeks I've found lump, had two GP appointments and all tests at hospital. Just feels like a roller coaster I have no control over!

Oh , and I am not a better person since I have had my diagnosis , but I am trying very hard (a work in progress) .
But I can definitely confirm that I have met some very lovely people , and my existing circle of friends has become much much stronger .

I did decide that life is just too damn short and have taken to wearing red shoes instead of playing it safe ! I have also decided that instead of just saying "that looks interesting , I would love to do that" and not doing anything about it , to just bloody well go for it !

Not sure about the "3" meaning ned , not heard of that .
But I totally get what you mean about things moving so fast . I went to my GP with a lump and within 3 weeks I was at a 1 stop breast clinic (where you have all tests and results on the same day) being told I had Cancer .
But still it's bloody fantastic that they move so damn quickly !

the speediness is quite alarming,yet also a very good thing - it's just a lot to take in at once.
Hope rads are quick and you're back home with refreshments topsy
We are venturing out to see if we can find a nice throw for the sofa (Celeste scratching deterrent) and any clothes which might fit ds as his Christmas ones are too big

Ned,

Just copied this from another site to explain what the numbers mean:

Category 0: Need Additional Imaging Evaluation
Category 1: Negative
Category 2: Benign

Finding
Category 3: Probably Benign

Finding; Short Interval Follow-Up Suggested
Category 4: Suspicious Abnormality; Biopsy Should Be Considered
Category 5: Highly Suggestive of Malignancy

Mine was rated at 5 at the first appointment and unfortunately they did turn out to be right. The ultrasound guy said to me they sometimes get surprises but not often so if they are telling you it is probably benign it probably is.

Silver, the not working thing scares me too and again not really for the money. It is not that I have an important job - actually a couple of levels below I was working before kids - but I do need something to keep my brain active and not sink into depression. I am going a bit stir-crazy and have only been off 4 weeks post surgery but will go in a couple of days next week before the chemotherapy starts. My breast cancer nurse was very negative about working through but the oncologist more optimistic. 50/50 is the odds I have got from asking around- If you come into contact with lots of people then probably not a good idea due to risk of infection.

Waves to everyone - I have got a truly amazing malteser wreath from my boss that needs some help eating. Would anyone care for a bit (or a lot). I think it was a bad idea to weigh me before christmas to work out the dose for chemotherapy!

Oh go on then, a malteser or two might be just the thing.

Ned, hi from me too.

I worked all the way through chemo and radiotherapy etc barring about 3 days in total, but I work very locally and have good staff who can help, and it is a quiet desk based job, and chemo rather liked me (compared to what it does to some others). So it all depends on personal circumstances.

anyone?

Maltesers duly handed over - Amber.

1in8 a malteser wreath ? I am intrigued . I will take it all a bit off your hands .

Morning Amber and MAS

Am back from rads , no more till Tuesday now (bank holiday Monday) .
Filled car with Diesel , quick trip into Tesco done where I restocked a weeks worth of meals (apparently my DC are sick of eating crisps and chocolate for dinner every night) for a bargainous £27 ! Gotta love Casualty Corner

Am now home enjoying a cuppa and debating whether a Crunchie and half a pack of Tuc biscuits is a suitable breakfast or not ?

Hi topsy, I was moonlighting as a taxi driver last night. DS and DD2 were both at a party at a barn in the middle of nowhere and I was waiting for the call to get them, it eventually came at 3 because they had no signal and had to walk 2 miles into the nearest village to get one! A more bedraggled, soaked group I have yet to see so I ended up making hot chocolate at 4am! They are never to cool for mama's hot choc!
Personally I always feel you need the TUC cheese to make a meal.

What a good Mama you are ILGC , a late night/early morning taxi driver and hot choccie ? Can I be one of your DC ?

Hmm Tuc cheese sandwich biscuits , I feel another trip to Tesco is going to be needed ...

TUCs !!! haven't had those in ages... will you adopt me too ILGC ?

Good afternoon all

Silver - you poor thing, you are obviously very worried about the whole situation, which is very natural of course. A lot of that worry is probably the uncertainty of it all -you can't plan, you can't think, your mind works overtime.
Once you know what the situation is, it actually gets a little easier to deal with, even if it is bad news, - because you'll get a plan.

As a general guide, radiotherapy is very targeted, on the area of the cancer. Chemo is a whole body treatment.

Roughly speaking the likely options are after surgery,

1. Cancer is confined to the breast - Radiotherapy (can also make you feel very tired)

1. Cancer has spread into the lymph nodes, or you have several tumours in the breast - chemo and radiotherapy.

The lymph nodes are a sort of filter, if the cancer hasn't got into them, it is unlikely to have got out of your breast.

If it has got into them, then based on the huge number of cells around as a cancer grows, it's possible some (even just one) has got into your body, Chemo will kill them before they can form a tumour elsewhere.

If it's spread to the nodes, you will be offered chemo, - you always have a choice of whether you want to accept any treatment, but in those circumstances (and they were my circs.) there is no way I would turn down chemo, it will be strongly advised.

It is so hard when everything is so indeterminate, but ultimately it's a life or death situation, and the choice you have to make to save your life is a leap into the unknown and difficult times.

But that's what this illness does - it f*cks with your life, and somehow you have to deal with that aspect to come out the other side, into what amber very eloquently calls the 'new normal'.

I hope that's helped a bit, and didn't sound preachy (not my intention) I sympathise enormously with you and all our new members going through this horrid early stage. It sucks.

, hand holding, and support always on offer. Rants, anger, tears and fears all listened to and empathised with. I hope we can help

xx

ah,that's very well put kk

(engagement ring - have you seen it ?)