**TAMOXIFEN 17 **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

blimey- we're almost up to our limit...so brand new shiny,sparkling thread.

Hello marmite. So sorry to hear your news. I thought you'd be okay. Of course you're frightened. Who wouldn't be.

Haven't got much time now, but wanted to post quickly some reassurance, as I had fast growing and in lymph nodes too. Had mastectomy and nodal clearance, which am guessing is what you're facing, plus chemo and rads. Diagnosed March 2010 and I'm honestly now completely and utterly fine. I'm not denying it's a slog to get through, but if I can get through it then so can you. Will have a think what I can remember which might help and post later. Stick with us though. This thread is sanity saving. xx

So sorry to hear your news Marmitesandwiches. It is horrible having a long wait till your operation but it is such a big thing that I think a bit of time helps you adjust. My wait was three weeks which seemed ages at first but was not too bad in the end. The operation itself was not too bad and there is plenty they can do afterwards to help prevent it coming back. I have the joys of chemotherapy and radiotherapy in the New Year. My lump turned out to be smaller than they first thought and the surgeon said this is quite common despite me thinking it was growing in the weeks of waiting so hope this reassures you a bit. My children are luckily a bit older than yours but it is still hard especially at first coming to terms with it.

Amber - great news the radiotherapy has finished.

I have possibly the last appointment before Christmas with the oncologist lunchtime on Friday - planning to take the kids to the circus afterwards - so hope they are running on time. I imagine they will want me in and out as quickly as possible.

Happy Christmas to those who are leaving the thread (and of course all the stayers as well)- a hugh thankyou to you for the support you have given me over the last couple of months - it has truly helped my sanity.

I mean 'huge' not 'hugh' I have a complete mental block on this word.

Hi All

marmite sorry for your bad news . If we can help in any way , we will .
I had a mastectomy and node clearance in June . Followed by chemotherapy , and now nearly half way through rads .
I have an 8 year old DD and a 12 year old DS .
It is all do-able . Bloody scarey , but do-able . My life line was this thread . They held my hand during the waiting times , reassured me when I asked one of my many mad questions , fed me virtual cake

So ask us anything you want to , nothing is off limits . And we will keep you company whilst you wait .

I am so sorry to hear some of us are leaving the fold . Blardy facebook has a lot to answer for .

Had my rads review appointment today after radiotherapy . All is well . today was number 12 out of 25 .
Am very that you have finished yours amber

Picked up some pressies for DH this morning , and a few stocking fillers for the DC . Think I just need to get sweeties and that's me done .

The DC broke up from school today at 12 . And I haven't seen either of them since ! DD is at her friends house over the back fence . And DS went to Subway after school then on to a friends house . I think DH is going to pick him up on his way home from work .
DH finishes work tomorrow till the 4th of Jan , yippee !

Does anyone get heartburn ? I have had it quite badly recently . The hospital had given me some huuuuuge capsules to take (can't remember the name) and they work quite well . But they make me horribly constipated (tmi) .
Apart from that I have been drinking gallons of milk .
Any miracle cures ?

Yipee Amber, well done

Sorry to hear your news Marmite, but you are very welcome to hang out here.

Walked along the harbour wall this afternoon. Seems much warmer down south than it was up north!

Circus sounds fun 1in8

xpost

waves to Topsy. No miracle cure but how about some virtual caramac to take yoir mind off it?

Oooo Caramac? I love Caramac!!!

Topsy, yes to the heartburn. I got through ok with a job lot of Rennies.

Marmite, yes, worth a word with the team about the wait. I would ask them if you can take Vit D and eat blueberry things as both of those are proven by good research to slow down growth. Urk that you've had that news. I've done surgery, chemo and radiotherapy and it's worked and I've worked through all of it (just the luck of the draw that it quite liked me) so it's been doable...

well done amber yay !!!
Glad you had a nice time with your brother smee and thanks for emailing MN about the fb button.
marmite so sorry you've had this news - really hope we can help you get through the waiting and treatment. I think my wait for surgery was about 3 weeks from dx -but do speak to your breast care nurse for reassurance and I really hope you can enjoy Christmas despite all this hanging over you.

I am not a happy bunny. I hadn't even noticed the fb button (am so unobservant) but how totally ridiculous for this thread, and so many others to be able to be "liked". I use fb, but I don't say on there what is really going on with me, unless it is a personal message to a close and trustworthy friend. I treat fb as only saying things on there which I would be happy for an acquaintance to know. I would be angry and shocked if stuff I wrote on here, or on sn thread about my ds appeared on fb. Am off to write a message to mn.

Cakes you have been such a wonderful support to me over the last year. I should miss you so much on here.

Very very

Amber pleased to hear that you have finished rads today! Another mile stone reached.
Topsy sorry to hear about the constipation, offers back, useful pointy stick
Marmite this is the place no one would wish to be, but it has been a god send to me. I was diagnosed early oct, (first mammogram) and had a lumpectomy 5 weeks later. Radiotherapy in the NY. I was told by the bcn, that the waiting of x weeks holds no addiional risk, but of course it is human nature to want things to happen more quickly once you have been given news like that. The waiting is actually the worst bit, so much to think about. No question is too small and feel free to repeat yourself as much as you like, I certainly did. It has been unchartered territory for each of us, but this forum has helped me.

Mmmm , Caramac ...

And drift , you could have at least bleached it first

Have made a big pot of chilli for tea tonight , kill or cure for the heartburn eh ?

Hooray for Amber! That's a great milestone you've reached successfully.

Marmite - I'm sorry about your news and I do identify with you getting your diagnosis in December as I got mine 2 years ago. But take heart - Here am I and very well! I had a long wait (first Christmas then a heavy snow fall delayed it all) of about 6-7 weeks, but a friend who's an onc nurse said this would not matter and I trusted her. However do speak to your BC nurse and start to make a good contact with her as she will be an important ally for you over the coming months.

I had lumpectomy, node clearance, chemo and radiotherapy and this thread was a huge support so although I don't come on here every day now (as I'm back at work) I will try to offer you some support.

The main thing at this stage is to try not to assume the worst, take one step at a time, get your team around you as they'll support you in ways you can't imagine, and deal with what you definitely know, not the wild imaginings that will be whirling round your head. It takes a few weeks but you'll find to learn to take one step at a time, and not to panic. But you'll also need to cry at times and that's normal so let it out.

You'll be Ok - good luck and post again.

Morning all, lots of lovely available. I've been up since 5.30 even though I needn't have been.

Marmite, welcome to the Tamoxifen thread even though we'd rather you hadn't had to join us, ifkwim. I joined in February following my diagnosis which included node involvement, had chemo first, then a mastectomy and node clearance followed by radiotherapy. It was a tough time but the ladies here kept me sane, lots of good advice, hugs when needed, a listening ear and plenty of virtual cake and so please please come and post whenever you feel the need. I hope your BC nurse can put your mind at rest regarding the delay. Waiting between appointments really is one of the hardest parts of this journey - we all agree on that.

Amber, great to hear you've finished your rads. It's great not having to up to the hospital every day.

I just wanted to echo what the other ladies have said to those who feel they have to leave the thread because of the FB link - I wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy 2012 and want to thank you for being so supportive to me since I joined in February. Love and hugs. xxxx

Forgot to say, off later to DS2s carol concert at his Salvation Aarmy training centre which will be very Christmassy and wonderful. It's set on a farm on a hill with far reaching views, the most lovely setting.

Also forgot to mention I got my proper prosthesis yesterday afternoon. Woohooo, first thing I said to DH when he got home last night was "Have a feel of these" as I thrust my chest out at him. Poor man!!! But, what a difference having a proper gel prosthesis makes. It was worth the wait. The fitting lady thinks I've put a few pounds on since we last met so I really must go easy on the FBS.

Hope everyone has a lovely day.

Figgy - I hope the fitting lady was a bit subtle about the need for fewer FBS?

I saw my gp yesterday, she said my metabolic rate is very low, as I am not eating enough calories to still be having the weight problems I am. So I have to carefully build up to 30mins strenous activity 5 days a week.... bit dodgy with my knees etc...but will give it a go. Think I might start with hoola hooping on the wii, with ds then I won't feel like such a numpty!

Marmite - I am sorry I didn't respond to you yesterday. I am really sorry to hear about your dx, and I completely understand how scary it all is. I hope the positive stories on here help you to see you can get through it. Everyone on here is such a wonderful support, don't hold back from questions, or ranting or hand holding.

Have been up a bit in the night with dd2, who has got a horrid cough. So tired the tooth fairy forgot to visit ds last night.....whoops. He has taken it well, and remains hopeful that the very busy tooth fairy (he suggested busy helping santa) will get here tonight!

hooray for lovely proper prosthesis figgy -was dh impressed ?! How lovely about the carols too- hope ds enjoyed it too.
sparkle-am sure that ds will understand how busy the tooth fairy must be,what with her extra duties with Santa
Dh home today so we'll go and pick up our Christmas food order- he is off to pick up MIL tomorrow,staying overnight at hers before bringing her here. (she is staying with my parents as they have proper beds-and stair lift,etc etc)
I am wrestling a bit with anxiety about the whole thing that is Christmas- I find it stirs up lots of OCDish related anxiety-all in my mind of course, but not nice.Still,will breathe and meditate and see if it helps !

Session number 13 at rads today . Officially over half way through !
Just tomorrow to get through then I get a break till Wednesday .

Can someone please distract my DC attention for 15 minutes whilst I wrap the last of the pressies ? Think DH may have to take them on a trip to Grannys over the next couple of days .

So , how are we all doing ? Everyone ready for The Big Fat Man In Reds visit ?
All I need to get are some art supplies for DDs art box . And then some food supplies . Granny does Christmas dinner , so it's just fbs and munchy foods . Dare I brave the hell which is M&S in the days before the end of the world Christmas ?

Right , a little bit of housework to be done before DH gets home .
See you all later .

hooray for half way through topsy and a nice break too
Helen at MN Towers has replied very reasonably to my email. She pointed out that whether or not the fb button is there,our thread can be accessed by anyone with internet connection who chooses to type in the relevant words (I have found it by doing this very easily) We feel it's private and intimate as it is so friendly and probably forget that it is open to anyone. No one has 'liked' our thread so far and I think that it's unlikely anyone would. Helen suggested using the Off the Beaten track category for very private posts as it can't be searched for and accessed,though the thread is deleted after 30 days. The really positive thing about our current thread is that people do find it and join or lurk and gain a lot of support from it- I am thinking that the benefits outweigh the negative bits. I intend to stick with this thread anyway and hope everyone will continue too- we are apparently very much valued by MN.

Well done MAS. To any here that have gone already, best wishes for your health and happiness x.

Hello all, - just catching up after a rather busy couple of days.

marmite - I'm so sorry you find yourself here, - it is very scary when you are DX, and only natural to be anxious. I was going to suggest Sandripples was the very person to talk to you - but I see she's already posted - The wait feels very long and I totally get the feeling of wanting them to do something and do it now. In reality I don't think a few weeks makes a lot of difference in terms of the cancer (obviously it makes a difference psychologically), that is what I was told anyway, - I had a fairly long wait, over two months, for them to remove my affected lymph nodes after I'd had my mastectomy, and although it was a strain I honestly don't think it had any long term effects.

If there is anything you to ask about mastectomy op., don't hold back, there are several of us on here who have had one. Meantime, can you keep in touch with your breast care nurse, - they can be great for reassurance and talking things through.

Congrats to amber on finishing rads, - well done for getting through it - onwards and upwards eh?

topsy half way through is a good landmark too, and good that you can have a bit of a break now.

I am not really ready for the big fat man in red, (unless you are referring to my DH ) I have presents to wrap and cooking to do. DS and his GF are coming over tomorrow, so trying to tidy up a bit.

Figgy - hooray for the prosthesis, it makes all the difference, how's the infection now - all cleared up?

Enjoy your carol service, - it sounds lovely

MAS - thank you for e-mailing HQ, - I'm glad they replied, although the Of the beaten track section is surely not a very obvious place for anyone wanting to talk about BC. I also think it is unlikely that people will 'like' our thread. I will definitely stick around as I never write anything on here that I would worry about people reading, but I am possibly naively unaware of what people can access.

Sparkle - I'm sorry you are worried about the Fb thing too.

I'm nursing a large bruise on my knee. - I played badminton yesterday and crashed onto my knees diving for the shuttle. This may sound clumsy impressive, but it is in fact because I am so late responding to the shuttle heading in my direction that it's very near the floor by the time I'm organised to hit it. My partner was tutting under her breath at my uselessness

Hurray for figgy's proper gel booby and Topsy being half way through with a Christmas break to look forward to. Oops about the tooth fairy, Sparkle. I'm doing myfitnesspal which is an app for logging everything you eat and all the exercise too - it credits you with calories for doing the wii fit and hula hooping is good. I'm trying really hard to stick to 1500 calories net which is easy if I do some exercise and impossible if I don't - going to have a few days off over Christmas though ;)

Mas I found the thread and thereby mumsnet through a google so I am usually a bit reserved giving out identifying information especially if it involves other people. Love chatting on here and it is so helpful to be in contact with other people in the same situation.

Went for a walk earlier and watched the sunset. Bit worried that I haven't bought the food for Christmas yet, but may hit the 24hr asda when we get home tomorrow night... We won't starve, but the frozen and tinned food we have in wouldn't be very festive

Oh - meant to say - I went to yoga this morning and farting man was there, he only farted once though - so an improvement on last time

xpost wave to kk
I don't play badminton at the moment. I put myself in hospital last time, playing on an unsprung floor and was on crutches for a week. Maybe when I lose some weight...

waves back at jane

I just remembered a nice story. One of our friends has a little boy who is three and a bit, the other day he walked in on her wrapping some presents, and said 'what are you doing' quick thinking she said ' I'm wrapping some presents to give to the neighbour, so he thought a minute,then hugged her and said 'kind mummy'