**tamoxifen** number 15 ****

[MaryAnnSingleton]

can you believe it ??!!

Good morning ladies. I got home about 8pm last night, my dear mum (85) collected me with DH and she had made a lovely beef stew for us, which I managed, just thought I'd mention the important stuff first! It all went OK, I arrived at the hospital at 7.30, glad I stayed nearby in hotel as felt so much calmer. Had the various procedures, blue dye/radioactive stuff, x/ray, drawings then wire guide and straight from that to surgery at 2pm. Staff could not have been nicer. Lady in next bed from same village so will be in touch. Very sore and it all looks gruesome, seem to have about 4 inscions (sp) I know they removed 3 nodes as well as the sentinel, will have a closer look later. Determined to keep on top of the pain with what they have given me, so timing it all. Feel Okish apart from soreness. Started my exercises in the recovery room and every oportunity since. Feels yucky under armpit so am trying to not have my arm closed too much, tried to sleep with hand on hip. They said I could (or should) keep dressings on until next appointment, next Tues,15th, but I don't see how they will last tbh. I plan on having a shower today but keeping that all dry. Have been thinking of you all with your ups and downs, best wishes to you all with stuff going on to deal with, I do read most of it. Thanks so much for your support. The BC ladies came round before surgery and invited me to talk about all kinds of stuff down the road, but I said for now this stage was enough to be dealing with, that I have just come to accept having the op, without opening the whole box, they understood that. Thanks again. X

well done drift !! sounds as though it went well and that you were looked after properly- bless your mum ! Rest and keep everything aired -underarm will feel as though you've got a balloon under it but it will pass.
Did you like the turquoise wee ?
Take care x

Hugs to you Driftwood. Keep strong and take care of yourself.

Topsy, dont worry about your CT scan, it is better to check and know than not know.

Just reading my CT scan results, it is amazing what they can tell you, trouble is there are a few anolomies I want checking but the doctors have said everything (apart from known specifics) is clear. Will be pursuing this and not allowing them to ignore what was highlighted, but need to get through transplant first.

Welcome back Drift and well done - wishing you a speedy and easy recovery x

Hugs from me too Drift. So pleased you're home safely. That beef stew sounds excellent. You rest up and let us distract you when you're ready. Keep taking the pain killers and definitely do the exercises. They make a massive difference.

Trust you to mention the blue wee, MAS.

Butterflies, wow !! Have you somewhere to wear them to?

Jane, ankle boots sound good. I think I've been brainwashed as I really want some of those toasty Ug boots, but they're absurdly expensive so I won't/ can't / shouldn't even if I could.

Topsy, of course you're anxious. Appointments are a bugger. I reckon a week before any of mine I start anxting. FBS and sofa sound essential. Tell PigDog to hush and let you snooze x

Stars, one step at a time sounds sensible, especially when you've something as huge as a transplant ahead. When's that then? Do you have a date yet?

I was awake most of the night too. Not sure why, just head spinning with all sorts. Am so envious of my DH, who sleeps all night, every night.

MAS we need to know about DH working in his tent. Am imagining it will be like Gaddafi's, though more likely boy scout..

just popped back to see how everyone is getting on.

Drift-I bet you are so glad thats over,hope your recovery goes smoothly.xxx

topsy-goodluck for your scan.keeping my fingers crossed for you.

hi to everyone else.

Btw,those shoes are outrageous -in a very good way.But I'm still in love with mas's ones that cost loads of money! we can all dream.

topsy...honestly no need to worry about rads thats nothing compared to what you have been through..its not nice to have your sleeping patterns messed up the nights can be long and you get to much time to think.ct scans are terrifying but your onc seems to be quite positive and from my experience they dont mince their words so thats a good sign.

butterflies..you got your shoes very very nice, love the colour.

drift..glad to know your doing ok.i use to sleep with a cushion underneath my elbow as it really helped to take the pressure off under my arm it also helps air get to it.

stars...good idea to take one stage at a time.

smee..i also have some ugg type boots bought them for the snow so i dont ruin my nicer boots,but wow they are so comfy especially when you have no toenails.

talking of shoes did anyone watch big brother last night and see them sparkly jimmy choos £500 ,not sure if these are them but wow i want some www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446397052&afsrc=1&site_refer=BZR002&srccode=cii_10043468&cpncode=27-65366153-2

Hi all

Drift, hugs from me too

Stars, yup. Everything crossed for transplant.

Topsy, me too re rads...feels like I'm a walking medical experiment after two days spent mostly in hospital having endless tests and stuff for the nosebleeds etc to add to the bc stuff. Rads on top of that seems like a sensory thing/routine change too far for me. My lovely GP was right yesterday - she said I was a 'coper' but they could tell how scared I really am by my blood pressure readings, and that's why it's been so high recently.

Pink, eek re the potentially escaping children!!

Please don't think I'm ignoring everyone else - just usual Amber brain-fried-ness. always available for everyone.

Stars - negative test results sounds good, anomalies are always a bit of a worry, but the fact they have reassured you on them is a good sign. (I think CT scans often throw up anomalies which we've probably had all our lives but never known about, - I know mine did) but definitely insist on further investigation to set your mind at rest. Loads of good wishes for the start of your treatment. I think you are sensible to concentrate on getting past your transplant - one step at a time is def, the way to go. - How do you feel about it all?, - I imagine a mixture of apprehension, but also wanting to get on with it.

Drift - I'm very glad you've got your surgery out of the way, its a big thing to go through and it must be a relief to get it out of the way. Well done for starting your exercises, - that will stand you in good stead for healing and recovery. Do you have a shower that you can detach and use as hand held? - I found that easier with wounds, - then you can sort of shower round the dressings Or have they given you one of those waterproof dressings?

topsy - loads of good thoughts for start of rads and scan. It's bound to play on your mind. - its a positive thing that they are monitoring everything closely - doesn't make it any less scary though. I hope you've got loads of treats lined up for afterwards

amber - sorry you had a tough day yesterday - but good the BP is normal and the nosebleed is under control, phew though - it's all a bit exhausting isn't it? - Hope you are having a nice quiet day today.

Waving to everyone else, so my post doesn't get too huge. hello 14k nice to see you, and at your shoes butterflies, at 'shut up and go away' MAS - teenagers eh? Sorry you didn't sleep either Smee, - my DH would also sleep through a bomb landing on the bed, - annoying isn't it?

Am going to try to upload a sweet pic. of old lady dog to my profile, - I may be some time!

Oops x-posted - hello Pink

Photo should be on my profile now

Drift, on washing, I found a waist high bath the best, then kneeling and leaning forward to wash with a sponge my arms/ top half. Bit of a faff, but was the easiest way.

Waving to l4k, nice to see you.

Amber, honestly I reckon it'd be weird not to hit a hump just after chemo. It's Herculian to get through the slog of that and now you have Rads ahead. No good us all telling you it's the homeward straight as you're probably still in shock, allowing the whole 'I've had (note the had!) cancer' thing settle in. Very hard not to struggle a bit with it all at your stage. I definitely hit a bit of a wall about then.

Pink, are Ug's good then? I haven't got any, but would v.much like them. They look so cosy.

Kurri, how's your dad? Any news? Hope you get the pic uploaded. Let us know when it's 'live'.

Aw, Kurri. So v.cute.

she is adorable kk awwww....
stars sending loads of good thoughts to you for forthcoming treatment x
DH seems to be at work as I got an email- he hasn't mentioned where they are though !
There was a piece about SHOES on Woman's hour just now !
I have a literally well heeled friend who owns things like Jimmy Choos -she took them off in my house and left them in the hall and I sneakily tried to try them on- her feet are wee though,so didn't fit.

Drift- phew that's over. Well done to your stew making Mum.

Wore my new boots this morning and very pleased with them but oh so boring compared to the red velvet! I couldn't do uggs, smee, the dds wouldn't approve...

Glad to have rads over first thing - I may ask for next weeks appts to be at 8.30 too... Would make me get up!

Hello ladies

Drift - glad to hear you're home - doesn't sound like you needed to come home with a drain inserted - is that right? If not, then that's a blessing.

doesn't want to lower tone of thread by mentioning green poo

The staff sound lovely - do make use of them as and when you need support and don't be afraid to ask for stronger pain killers from GP/hospital is you need them.

Hope you're comfortable at home with some interesting distractions.

((hugs)) and good wishes.

It would be great to have them at 8.30 jane - lets you get on with the rest of your day. How many have you got left - sorry I've lost track - is it another week after this one?

I'm glad DD has bigger feet than me or she would be endlessly pinching my shoes she always tries to cram her feet into whatever I buy unless it looks like "something a gnome might wear"

Dad is brighter in himself, but movement still very restricted, which if I let myself think about it, I find very upsetting - as if he didn't have enough going on without not being able to walk.
And of course he keeps trying to get up, because he can't remember what has happened. I'm trying to be upbeat when I talk to Mum, and also to DS and DD who have always adored their granddad, but yesterday when I was shopping I found myself shedding a tear over my cup of coffee

oh kk

kurri. Must be incredibly hard. A virtual hug from me to you x

MAS, funny you trying on your friend's shoes.

Hello Dee. How are you?

Jane, morning sounds like a good way to go. You must be nearly half way through (?) Not long to go now, which is excellent. Why wouldn't the DDS approve of Ugs - are they uncool or something?

Hi Smee

Sorry to hear you've had a sleepless night. I must admit if I think I'm not going to sleep well, I bung in a half dose of Night Nurse and that knocks me out nicely! Doesn't happen often though. Hope you're able to catch up today and have a better night tonight.

3 weeks after wle/snb I'm still maxing out on painkillers. I have sort of dragging, nervy pains and a small hard-ish patch near the wound. I'm hoping this is all par for the course and not untoward. I have read it may take up to about 6 weeks for everything to settle down so trying not to be anxious about it and failing somewhat .

Just waiting for the letter to kick off rads. Starting to drive again but feel a bit like a still want to hunker down at home. Lost a bit of confidence I think so being gentle on myself about getting back into the social whirl. (not that it's much of a whirl more a modest swirl... )

am sure it's par for the course- I still have hard patches and twinges 2 years on,try not to fret.Sorry that you are still needing painkillers though

Oh, okay MAS, that's (sort of ) reassuring!

Thank you both - I am OK, just have my moments - and I can mention them on here because I can't in RL, which is good

Dee - I have hard patches round my scar (although mine was mastectomy, so not sure if it is the same) but I think it is scar tissue. A pphysio told me you can break it up by massaging with finger tips and bio oil/vitamin e cream round the area (obviously when the wound is healed well) - but as I say my scar is flat on the chest wall, so possibly that info, isn't relevant to those who've had lumpectomies.

I also still get twinges 3 years on, and a lot of itching, I'm sure you are right, it is nerve pain/damage - oh the joys! Yes to maxing out on pain killers - don't put up with anything you don't have to is motto

No drain and no blue/green pee, maybe I passed it without noticing? Thanks for the tip Smee, I'll try that. This morning dh helped with the shower! Did anyone keep their dressings for as long as a week? When I asked, the nurse said they would remove it on 15/11, but I'm not sure if that is an instruction ifyswim. I'll probably phone in a few days to check. Just that I'm not sure they will last that long, What did you do?