**tamoxifen** number 15 ****

[MaryAnnSingleton]

can you believe it ??!!

You are not being silly 14k. You have lived through a traumatic time.

l4k, stick with us. Doesn't matter that it's benign, you've felt the fear of BC and going through that is hugely traumatic. We'd love you to stay x

Jane, getting up and getting dressed is sometimes heroic. Am impressed. Buy treats.

Sparkle, on no!! Is it immediate? Does he get an okay redundancy package which can buy you some time?? Huge hugs from me.

Cakes, of course you look good, but woo-hoo for Random Man!! I could do with something similar. Will now smile sweetly at all men I pass today trying not to look too mad.

14K we are glad to be a guilty pleasure, and very fond of your company. I imagine it will take a week or two to come down off the ceiling, quite to be expected.

Sparkles, Oh God, I am so sorry, bugger, bugger, bugger. What a brutal world we are all living in. I imagine that will have a major effect on his depression as well as the practical problems, of course

Jane - silk shirt is a great idea. Also soft stretchy vest tops are quite good. If the skin gets sore and starts to break down (hope it won't) there are very good dressings that they may prescribe, but which you may have to pay a lot for as they are too expensive for many hospital budgets. if that's the case, PM me, I have loads and loads left owing to a mix up at our pharmacy. Same offer is open to anyone else on rads, of course.

By the way, Jane and Smee, i was in Acocks Green yesterday. I think they have done the Westley Arms up a bit, judging from the outside....

Oh sparkles , that is really crappy . Hugs to you and Mr Sparkles .

Westley Arms done up? That's an oxymoron surely?

Someone please kick my butt and tell me to go upstairs and get showered and dressed .
I am being lazy mare this morning , and my friend is liable to arrive at any moment .
Still have to hoover and wash the floors aswell .

Aaaaargh , no motivation what so ever !

I am really worried about his depression. I know, and he knows too when he is logical, that this is a political decision, becasue new Head of team doesn't likke dh's boss so got rid of him, and dh has gone by association, but logic goes out of the window with depression, and I am seriously worried for his mental health now. I don't know the terms and conditions, I guess he will have 3 months notice period because that is in his contract, and stat redundancy....but I am not sure, and not sure wherther dh is going to be in a place where I can ask. Oh bugger....how am I going to hold all this together now....I just don't think I can.

If we still lived in our little victorian house round the corner from the Westley Arms I wouldn't be so worried.

Ooh Cat, where are you from, then?

I have also quite liked the Westley Arms when I have been in (though it's about 10 years or so ago), I like a place that's a bit lived i,n it means they are more tolerant of riotous drunks which, back in the day, we probably were

I'm now in Coventry but worked in Acocks Green for 11 years. Smee has now jumped ship for the South East but i think Jane is still somewhere around there....

Topsy - get dressed woman Personally I wouldn't bother with the floors though.....

Sparkles

Sparkle you can hold it together, because that's what you always do. Doesn't make it any easier, but you're an amazing woman and incredibly strong. A few months notice/ redundancy will help am sure. Take a deep breath maybe? Give it time to sink in. You can't solve it all today, so allow yourself a bit of time xx

Topsy, get up those stairs woman. you need to be dressed to go to the Bahamas.

Cat if you'd been to the Westley when I worked there as a teenager you'd have a v.different view am sure.

They did do it up a bit a while ago.....as long as you go for a meal amd get home before the evening crowd I think you are all right....still some didgy types in the bar though, although I am now about 5 years out of date!

I am just so fearful of losing the house, I have just got the kids settled in a school, and ds settled with his medical care, I am struggling with the thought of having to do all that again too.

Sparkles it won't come to that, take a deep breath. Smee is right, you are strong and you will hold it together, and it will be OK.

Sometimes these things even turn out to have been for the best in the long run, though it's hard to see it at the time - maybe DH will find a job that sits better with his depression, for example.

It'll be OK, just breathe. x

Sparkles I went through all this 2 years ago . DH was literally called into the office at 5pm on a Friday and told the company had ceased trading . They were all left with no wages for that month , no redundancy , no notice .
DH was unemployed for 10 months .
We (luckily) had redundancy insurance for our mortgage . Do you have anything like that in place ?
Also speak to your bank re the mortgage . The last thing any bank wants these days is to reposess property . They might let you take a mortgage holiday .

Hang on in there , you will get through this .

Gosh, Sparkles, no advice other than to say you will both survive this, and big hugs to you.

dearest sparkle - a huge hug for you - it's frightening and horrible but as the others have said,you are very strong and will cope - it might well lead to something bigger and better for dh - meanwhile we will be supporting you all the way.
14k yes do stick around please ! you've had a huge lot to deal with and it takes a while to get your head round...
sorry to rush off,am back to my drawing board before picking up my girl.

cat, where are you in B'ham then? My parents are still there, they live in Moseley.

oh sparkle im so sorry i really dont know what to say other than nothing stays the same for ever and this will pass. your much stronger than you think and remember we are all here for you.

jane...i now flipping hate bras they are so uncomfortable.

14k..im not surprised you feel as you do,you have still been through a nightmare.like the others have said stick around.

cakes...what a nice boost.

just want to ask you ladies who have finished radiotheraphy, i finished rads just over a week ago and at the time my skin was doing ok just looking a bit sunburnt. now suddenly my chest has gone really tight and my scar out of the blue is starting to scab over and i have a swelling at the side thats squishy(could be left over from the seroma i had)but the area round the mastectomy site has gone all hard and lumpy and i have creases running through that are getting really sore and the end of my scar has twisted which is really uncomfortable.is this all normal i know i was told that rads carries on working for a few weeks after.

Yes rads do keep working for a while after and things can change quite dramatically.

I am not sure about what you describe, I think I would get the BCN or your GP to take a look if you can. I am sure it is probably OK but if the skin is starting to break down, which mine did 3 weeks after finishing, you need some antibiotics and possibly some decent dressings a bit sharpo. Once you start taking them, the improvement is very rapid, but it is important to start. x

Definitely call them today Pink. Sounds normal to me, but Cakes is right you might need dressings or something and the weekend's a useless time to get anything.

Sparkle, so sorry for your news, you will get through this. As others have said, see to the practical stuff for now, draw up a list of companies that you need to contact such as mortgage provider and let them know your situation in advance, in writing. This does help, shows you have done all the right things in a situation beyond your control. Eat well, get rest, both of you, and try to talk once the initial shock is over. Go to CAB (make an appointment) for benefit review, you may be entitled to something. It's such a personal thing I know, how one manages your and a partner's emotions, but sometimes I have been glad of advice in the end

butterfliesinmytummy - Congratulations on your return to swimming today, must have felt sublime - that is my goal after op on Monday.

butterfliesinmytummy that was a bit premature, sorry Let us know when you do go (hope it's soon) want to know how it will feel...