**tamoxifen** number 15 ****

[MaryAnnSingleton]

can you believe it ??!!

Thanks pink...must pull myuself together and stop snivelling.

oh how lovely your ds is kk and glad that your dad is a little brighter. Hope hand stops hurting v soon- ow.
pink v glad you are pleased with your tumble drier - when ours broke my SIL was very sniffy about them,saying she never had one and dries everything naturally which made me feel bad-but we soon got a sparkly new condenser drier - a Hotpoint Aquarius - I love it.
sparkle am so sorry about dh's job - it is a huge worry for you -vent away
jane @ soap eating kitty ! Celeste accompanies me into the bathroom in the morning and sits in the middle of the bathmat so that I have to step very awkwardly and carefully out on to it - risking being grabbed by her claws..if I do my sit ups beforehand she bites my elbows playfully.

MAS......sit ups!

Sparkles. I do hope your dh finds out soon and that it is good news.

My dh has done redundancy twice, once 1990's and last time 2002. the last time I went out and got a job and left him at home as main carer... The jobs market is bad at the moment around here, but there are still some jobs. Dh had not really got his finger out yet even though our youngest is at secondary school. He does have some work but it is casual and a bit seasonal. I get upset thinking about what would happen if I couldn't work, because I haven't accrued much pension yet. We couldn't get life insurance when we took out our latest mortgage last year either :( Sorry, this isn't helping. I'm a bit tired and emotional today. Must eat some chocolate.

Jane it is good to read that you have survived it thus far though, cos it feels hopeless right now. He might find out on Friday at the earliest, but what he has been led to believe over the last few days it is not good news....we will have to hope for the best.

sparkles...aww your welcome,were here for you any time you need to vent.

mas...i honestly dont know how anyone who has a family copes without a dryer,my cat loves to spread herself over the stairs with paw up ready to get you honestly you wouldnt believe shes 12 or shes a nightmare for tripping me up first thing in the morning running in front of my feet meowing wanting food.

jane..life isnt always easy is it,do you think its the rads making you feel emotional i was told that happens alot.

Sparkle - so sorry to hear of your trouble, what a worrying time for you and DH, vent away on here, and will keep fingers firmly crossed that things turn out OK, - it all seems very unfair

pink - I had my eye on the white knight, but we worked out it is about and inch too wide (the cupboard is quite big, but it is in a corner and has a narrow door - its a very awkward space, but we've got the vent in there, so not much choice)

jane @ kitty - we had a dog years ago who used to pinch bars of soap from the bathroom, then she'd chew them with a disgusted expression on her face
Sorry you are feeling a bit emotional today - those days hit us all from time to time, - you've been going through a lot, its emotionally exhausting.
Tea and fat boy snacks aplenty is my prescription, - I'm sure my colleague Dr.topsy will agree

Found some Asda chocolate - both milk and dark. [Hands round chocolate emoticon] No Lindt today, I must have eaten it... I haven't yet made it to the gym. Missing the swimming :( Haven't done any sit ups for years...

kurri... they have a white knight one slightly cheaper than mine been reduced to £99,i cant remember which way round either internet only or might be pick up from the store only but im sure its not in the book.

meant to say that it might be smaller

thanks pink - I will google it

I don't do the sit ups every day,and I don't do them very well...
Sorry you are feeling a bit today jane - it'll be the rads I reckon too..fbs are the answer !
Dh was made redundant 6 years ago,just as we'd bought this house -was quite scary I must admit,as I earn peanuts really..he was very lucky to get a new job (not in London,so less money) the week we moved- huge relief. He is v happy there and doing well,so it was probably meant to be and let him get a job much nearer home. Hope that is true for your dh sparkle x

I am glad to hear you don't do them every day..!!!!!

I am putting the kettle on in an effort to distract myself... anyone.

Yes please Sparkle. Just got back from smear which was over with relatively quickly and painlessly but I must have been in shock or something because I forgot to get my FBS on the way home .
Sparkle, keep your spirits up. You never know, DH might escape the cuts.
KK, glad your dad is eating and a bit more comfortable. Is mum managing to eat a bit more? How sweet of DS to write a letter.
Jane, I felt an emotional wreck some days during rads and once broke down in tears during a session but the team had seen it many times and assured me its normal.

I have wasted the day stressing about it all, and can not find any teaching jobs within 1 hours drive of home....but thanks for your good thoughts Figgy, you are right in that we don't know yet, just fear.

Sparkle So sorry for your additional worry, it's times like this when you stick together hopefully and you will pull through but it's so hard I know, your DH may think he is letting you down but of course he isn't, sounds like you cann't do any more at the moment, just hold tight and to each other. I had my pre op assessment today and feel something approaching OKish about things atm. Useful in itself for rekki by public transport, which although long is doable. Left at 6.30 for a 9.45 appointment, only because there was a 7am train that go me there at 8.45 and the next train would have delivered me half an hour too late! Anyway, future appointment times could be tailored to me a bit more I think so not too worried. Lovely bus drivers on the hospital buses from the train station to hospital, so feel a lot more confident/in control than I did. Hope others are having some brighter moments, best wishes all.

Pink, your mum sounds fab with all that wise advice.

Sparkle, that's a whole of load of stress, I do hope something unexpectedly good comes along for you and your dh.

Drift, I'm glad you've sussed public transport, getting the practicalities sorted out really makes a difference to stress levels. Can you organise some good books, puzzles, i-podding etc to go on during the journey so it (nearly) becomes a time when you can relax - kinda make it a leisure slot. (Sorry if that sounds like mental gymnastics making something negative into something positive but it's what helps me sometimes.)

Well, my appt was an hour and 20 mins late so I went through a far bit of adrenaline in the waiting room but it is thankfully good news.

No further ops needed for node clearance or for better margins.

Cancer was smaller than thought previously: 6mm, so tiny really. Still grade one, and hormone receptive so was offered Tamoxifen.

Onc thought on balance I should take it but it's really optional as I'm in a category where it's not going to make much difference to my survival rate as I'm in the 1-2% recurrence bracket. I can start it then stop if the SEs are horrible. Would really appreciate your honest and frank opinions about that decision please.

He said, "Considered yourself cured."

DeeScent I am over the moon with you news, Wow, what a result! They really do paint the worst scenario is what I will hold onto. So pleased, by gosh and by golly what a sobering experience in fright this all is.

I know drift, the strain is quite intense. To go from diagnosis on Sept 5th to this is quite a rollercoaster ride. Think all the bottled up emotion will perhaps now flow and of course rads and tamoxifen to negotiate.

Do hope your treatment goes well.

and all round.

Wow, Dee - what fabulous news!!!!!! I bet you're on Cloud Nine right at this moment. You must celebrate, when it's all sunk in. I think a couple of ladies are on Tamoxifen so will come along and let you know about any SEs.

On a practical note, and knowing the coward that I am, what painkillers do they send you home with after LWE and SNB, other than paracetamol? Wondering if I might need to be making my own arrangements, looking into bedside draws etc. I know my mum has a bit of a stash of prescription drugs and I want to know what I'm in store for. The biopsy wasn't that bad tbh, I think I took ibuprofen for 2/3 days. On a scale of 1-10 that would have been a 3 for me. Please, so I can prepare.

Figgy, thanks but although relieved I don't think the trauma has left me yet and I wonder if the full force of it is going to hit me now I don't have to work at being brave.

I have just stuffed my face with a rather large cream and raspberry jam doughnut though despite onc telling me to go on a low GI diet (I'm not overweight bit podgy round the stomach but it helps apparently so will gladly do it after another doughnut )

It's also very sobering to read what you ladies are going through. Maybe post-rads I'll feel really happy about it all. I'm just so grateful to have screening at age 47 - wow.

Sparkles, eek re the situation with dh...keeping everything crossed.

DeeScent - wow re your results!! Very splendid indeed.

Did someone say ? Yes please.

Driftwood, I was sent home with codeine in case I needed it. I didn't. Ibuprofen and paracetamol were more than enough.

I've realised that the terrible joint pain I've been having the last couple of days may be the Herceptin. Seems it's a common side effect. Less today, thankfully.

DeeScent - that is good news.

Mine came back as Stage 2. Was expected really but still a faint hope it would be normal like last week. At least it wasn't stage 3. I have to have a lymph node biopsy tomorrow and then they will decide on what operation to perform but will be a mx as the lump is big.

Sparkle - we went through the redundancy thing with d.h. about three years. Waiting for the axe to fall was honestly the worst bit. In the end it was a positive thing for us as he has ended up in a job he is much happier in - if only we had known it at the start!