**t*a*m*o*x*i*f*e*n** number 14

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we go !

thought

Thinking of you, Topsy. It is a bu@@er telling people.
Dee - glad you slept. Hope there isn't too much hanging about.
fps and 14k - good vibes and +ve thoughts from me too.

glad you slept well dee - will be thinking of you today!

KK's suggestion of telling a trusted good friend and asking them to pass it on might be a good idea-it's a difficult thing. When I was diagnosed and after surgery I wrote round robin emails (I am not a fan of general emails as a rule) but looking back at them I realise that I made it sound very casual and a bit of nothing. You don't want to frighten people,yet don't want them to think,oh that's all done and dusted then...hmmm.
Ds watches Embarrassing Bodies with me-usually he's reading something,and won't look at yucky bits- I sometimes think that it might not be suitable but then it's also quite educational. i like diagnosing - diagnosed the boy's anal fissure ! We remarked on the shopping centre KK- ds said it looked like a motorway flyover.
Good thoughts to 14k and fps xxx

sounds like it is peeing it down raining here. I am not going to get any peace until I feed the cat so I'm getting up now. Anyone for a ?

Good vibes here for Dee, fps and l4k. Sun shining and a candle lit.

Topsy, whatever you do in terms of telling people, it's going to be hard. If you don't tell, you'll have to put up with people applauding you for having put it to bed, if you do tell them it's bloody hard work having to wade through all the reactions. Could you talk to the Macmillan people? They've helped a couple of friends of mine with similar worries. Keep talking to us. Am sending you a huge virtual hug.

I'm off to see Surgeon for a consult in a bit. Surely she'll take the drain out?! I might biff her one if she doesn't.

MAS, sounds like you're joining Dr Topsy on the couch.

Big day today for so many of us today - Forpity, Dee, 14k - good luck. A candle is lit for you all.

Smee - well done on the work, especially with a drain in

Actually, I've just remembered that I did a few e-mails to tell people about diagnosis too. I started to realise it was far harder if I told them face to face or on the phone, so took to sending a short factual and as reassuring as I could e-mail, telling them to call me once it had sunk in. It did seem to make it easier somehow and I didn't have the whole secondaries issue. I'm so fecked off for you Topsy. Seems so unfair.

Smee - I hope your drain comes out. I don't think they like to leave it more than a week so it should go

yes,do hope drain is out today smee !
Am off again to have coffee with a friend who is going away for half term and so I'll miss her birthday..
dh has told MIL I shall be staying here at half term -she seemed ok about it- he told her I'd be working,which is true.

Good vibes to all with appointments today, - candle lit here too.

Smee - refuse to leave unless she gets rid of that drain - stage a sit in

topsy - I like Smee's idea of a chat with the Macmillan folks - I'm sure they'll have dealt with this sort of problem and can give good advice.

Butterflies - I think stroppy is good, - you have to fight for yourself sometimes, - you're entitled to all the info. you want, so they should let you know what's going on. I think they probably can be pretty accurate with mammo result and ultrasound to find the tissue they want, - I wouldn't worry too much on that score, but I would ask them to explain how it works.

DD refuses to watch Embarassing bodies (or anything with operations etc. in it) - she runs through to the bathroom making vomiting noises and saying 'for God's sake mum, that's someones bum'

That shopping centre is really quite run down - it so expensive to rent there nothing stays for long. None of the big dept. stores are in the shopping malls. Motorway flyover is quite accurate

I abandoned tales of Vic Norfolk - it was too dire to waste any more time on. I've got an endo appointment tomorrow anyway, so it was unlikely I'd have got to the meeting. Will got to Yoga instead if my appoint. finished on time.

love to all, wishing everyone a good day

Dd is still fascinated with anything bum-related so I imagine if I started getting into Embarrassing Bodies she'd never get to bed.

Cakes - x-posted. A cottage with an Aga - they are so warm and cosy - it all sounds idyllic, (shouldn't complain as I have just been to beautiful Dorset - but I would happily drop everything and go to Cornwall tomorrow < jumps in Cakes' suitcase> )

It really is lovely, KK - the people who own the cottage made it from the old coachman's cottage on a small estate - it has gardens all around it. They are landscape gardeners, and the garden is not neat and tidy, it is wooded, with streams running through, and lots of gorgeous plants which they give you if you express interest.

Sorry, I know I'm not helping

Mind you, Dorset is deeply fabulous too.

Arghh mn lost my message ! Sorry I have been awol I have another of those monster migraines. I am still reeling so won't be on much until it has passed. I hope everyone is ok, I have not caught up with the news, but I have noticed a few newbies, sorry not to answer you persnally. I know that you will be getting lots of support, answers and hopefully cake and if needed.

Will be back soon. Love to all
x

oh poor Sparkles, I was wondering about you. and sympathies. Take care. x

Poor Sparkles - how horrible, I hope you are feeling better soon, migraine is nasty

No Cakes - you are not helping

I was thinking about SR this morning, - haven't seen her for a while. SR if you get time pop on and let us know how you are doing, I hope everything is good with you (don't worry about catching up - I think we've all acknowledged that is nigh on impossible )

waves a comforting hand to sparkle -take care of yourself x

I've put a few photos up on my profile - taken when we were at mum's. - one is of the pub where Dh and I had our wedding reception. Please ignore my fatness, and my visible bra strap - I am taking things in hand

oh they are nice. Your Mum and Dad look absolutely lovely: and I fancy a thread trip to that pub

By the way, you don't look fat. x

I too am taking myself in hand again, so I feel your pain.

last night my pilates was replaced by aerobics, never a fave of mine, to be fair.

I got hot, achey, tired, puce in the face - God, I am unfit.

And when I got home, my contact lens broke in my eye. Never happened before but it's a bugger. Couldn't find the little bit to get it out but, boy, did it hurt

Anyway, the point is, I need to up my fitness game massively. And starting NOW.

Thinking about telling people. I had to tell children as I came back early from holiday to get biopsy results. I private messaged/emailed phoned friends after these results and then went public on facebook with good path results after op. This got quite a result as I now realise that a lot of work friends did not know why I was off! Makes it easier than explaining individually though and has worked for me. I didn't tell my Mum and this has underlined the shift in our relationship as even 6 months ago she would have been one of the first. Now I feel that I mother her rather than vice versa. I was amazed how many of my circle have gone through it in one form or another. Still not had the conversation with dh of good friend who died of bc in the middle of my dx. Know I must soon but there hasn't been the 'right' time as yet. Sorry to ramble on.

Well done Topsy, that is a hard thing to do. x

xposts

Hi all .

I went back to bed after the DC went to school and caught up on some sleep .

Hopefully all is going well with dee 14k and fps .

I think I will ask one of my good friends , who is also a school mum but we are friends outside of that , to pass the word around .
Just can't stand the thought of yet another round of sympathetic looks !
Time to get over myself I think

Have been on ebay today . Have got bids on 2 dresses and 2 pairs of shoes . Both dresses are plain black shift dresses , I plan to wear them with black opaque tights and the shoes I am bidding on .
One is a pair of royal blue mary janes (high heeled ones) and the other is a pair od leopard skin courts .
Am following through on my decision that life is too short to play it safe !

Hoovered and washed the floors today , and nearly wrecked myself .
Think it's an afternoon on the sofa again for me

Twiglet anyone ?