ILGC...word fail me, I am thinking of your lovely dd, and having taken on a little tamoxifen tradition, I have lit a candle for her. She is in our thoughts. I hope there is more the drs can do to help, and that the heart condition is manageable. Let us know hiow she and how you are doing, if you are up to it.
Earth I think the others have said it all, I agree that talking to the oncs is the way to go, ask them the risks associcated with not doing chemo/rads, and what effect that would have on your reconstruction surgery. You can do it though, you are incredibly strong.
MAS Sorry to hear about Smog. We have to inject out choccie lab every day, I know that is it is not the same for a cat, as dogs tend to be more biddable, but after the first couple of times, it is a very easy skill to get, and I am sure you will not have a problem, I am sorry your mum has got flustered about it all. 
Pranma - congratulations on your 5th anniversary, and of course you are terrified.....!!!!! To be honest it would be unusual not to be given what you have gone thorugh already. Come and share your fears.
Topsy I still have pain in my surgery scar, which I had in January, and I only had a mass cut out, so I think pain is completely normal. But don't sit and worry, please ask them at the hospital. ps ....get another puppy! Our puppy brought so much more fun into the older dogs lifeour choccie was 8 when we got this puppy, and they are best friends.
Kitten update.....the dc chose those names, they came with others..now forgotten 
The kittens are very cuddly,. very playful and purrrrrry, clean using their litter tray. Our older black cat has used some choice language at them 
but is tolerating them being in the house...just looks at me with a raised eyebrow and seems to say "what else have you brought home now!" he is still queen on the children's bedrooms, so just carrying on as normal.