**tamoxifen the 13th**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- anticipating halloween

Oh Earth it really is all right to feel such things. You can do chemo and you can beat this thing. Kurri and pink have said it all really, and they both brought tears to my eyes too,

Pink - why on earth our the job centre hastling you if you don't even claim job seekers? That is a bit like them ringing me up....and I would be telling themto shove off. Your carers allowance is not related to your working situation, but to your ds's care. How about suggesting they should be giving you disability beneift as you are unable to work....am very on your behalf. I don't know what you are planning to say when they ring you tomorrow, but I would like to suggest that you lay out all your treatment, and SE before.

Oh Earth - I didn't mean to make you cry, just wanted you to know we're all thinking of you, and can understand all those feelings,(((Hugs))).

Remember you can tell your oncologist, your BCN, or the nurses in your unit how you are feeling, - they know all the highs and lows people go through with cancer, and they can often say things that help, or reassure. They don't mind you having a cry in their office and saying 'I feel awful I hate this'

Pink - a back to work interview????? words fail me, what planet are these people from? (planet git presumably)

earth - you sound just like I felt (still do feel at times if I am honest) in the beginning . I had my mammogram , biopsy , results all on one day . Saw the surgeon the following week , got scheduled for surgery the end of that week !
I was totally "stop the bus I wanna get off" at that time .

Now I only have 2 chemos left , and it was definitely the best thing that it moved so quickly . I still can't quite believe I only had my surgery on the 2nd of June .
You will have down days , we are not super women who are valiantly riding out against Cancer . We all have down times (hence me researching the music for my funeral yesterday )

As for whether you should go ahead with chemo or not ? Speak to your Oncologist . Even if you ask them the same questions over and over again , keep asking till you are happy with the answer .
Honestly though , in my opinion , they wouldn't recommend chemo unless they really thought it was neccessary .

Sorry , I am waffling on again !

And also - OH MY GOD !!!!!!
Sorry but what arses they are pink .
A back to flipping work interview ??
I seem to remember being told that you are not legally considered to be able for work if you are undergoing chemo (from a benefits advisor) . So I think it's a case of the left hand not knowing what the right is up to .

I am just cross anyway as I have just read an article about how the government want to time limit benefits for people with terminal illnesses .
For example , if you have the temerity not to die within 12 months of your terminal diagnosis , then your benefits will end !

My Flabber was well and truly Ghasted at that one .

Also earth - get in touch with MacMillan . They provide counsellers , all free of charge . Sometimes you just need someone to spill it out at , and I can never do that to my family because I feel it would upset them too much .

Earth, I was scared too. Will never forget how small I felt and how vulnerable. i can't add much to what the others have said, other than a sort of footnote, that this thread has made a huge difference to me in terms of getting through. Just to have people to natter to who totally get it. So let us help and be as scared as you want with us. I think it sometimes helps to freak.

Pink, g'ah to the lot of them. I seem to remember Sandripples had to jump through those hoops too. Deeply daft. Am growling on your behalf.

x-posted Topsy, but bloody hell, is that really true?! What total gits. Is there somewhere we can protest?

earth, just remembered, but I was told chemo would reduce my odds by 15%, and that rads and tamoxifen were my main defences. I still went ahead, but it did surprise me how small the percentage was.

Think it was a Daily Mail article smee

Earth, having just done all of chemo, it was doable...and it went SO fast. I won't ever lie and say it was fun, but every side effect has a pill or potion that seems to sort most of it out. And it worked for me. Have a or a hug or whatever else you think might work...

Having done my panicking yesterday, I feel quite calm about tomorrow now. Will update people on what the surgeon says about my margins.

sparkle...i recieved a letter so i rang them up apparently even if your on carers allowance they are doing these back to work interviews,was told would have to have a good reason not to attend so i asked if being treated for breast cancer was a good enough reason he clearly wasnt sure thats why someones ringing me back tomorrow. i told him well if i have to attend you better sort it out in the next week because no way am i coming in while i do radiotheraphy.grrr another thing i dont understand is i thought i was still paying national insurance.

kurri...planet git made me giggle.

topsy...i also have heard that about time limiting benefits for people with terminal illness,unbelievable but more than anything shocking and cruel.

smee..wow poor sands,but honestly they could at least wait for my eyelashes to grow back.

earth...i do get how you feel and it does feel a lonely path i have had a few wobbly moments myself once had a complete melt down in front of my gp telling him i couldnt do it i have had enough (the shame lol)he was really nice he told me my reaction is very common and he suggested that i thought about antidepressents as he believed they should be offered to all cancer patients because you have to go through so much and obviously the treatment lasts a while and the emotional effect it causes.

amber...hey good luck for tomorrow.

And from me, Amber. Will be thinking of you x

Me too amber, - good vibes for tomorrow xx

Yes hope it is good news tomorrow Amber.

Just popped on hear to say went to my first support group meeting to listen to a speaker, and it turned out to be a belly dancing lesson...

Hahahahaha jane . Now that's what I call support

amber - I have everything crossed for you for tomorrow , what time is your appointment ?

amber lots of good luck tomorrow -thinking of you....

on a light and frivolous note,did anyone watch Fresh Meat ?
love to allx

I was alarmed at the prospect of antidepressants pink but actually I think they are really helpful. Tamoxifen scared me too (which is why this thred came about in the first place)

Thank you all I lost the plot yesterday, big time so thank god for the voices of reason here

I slept really well for the first time since diagnosis, which has helped a lot as well and today I'm feeling ok

Good vibes amber for today xx

Have you spoken to your GP earth ?
I went to see mine soon after my initial diagnosis . He put me on a low dose anti depressant . He said it wouldn't make me happy , but it would help keep me on an even keel . Because as he said , I needed to be in the right frame of mind so I could fight this bastard .

I never was the kind of person who believed in tablets for curing things like this . Always thought it was mind over matter , and people should just buck up and get on with it .
But do you know what ?
I was wrong (and you won't hear me say that often !)
I do believe the anti depressants have helped me .

amber - am sending all my positive thoughts to you today x

Earth I'm so glad you had a good nights sleep. Don't be too hard on your self. You are entitled to lose the plot and be angry at what has happened. Try and take some time out once you are feeling better - My best friend dragged me along to her knitting circle and that is now something to look forward to. And the room full of recovering ladies trying to belly dance last night was very +ve. Teacher has had reconstruction surgery and a good role model :)

And loosing the plot is allowed

Janemacer - Wow, that's what i call a support group, where do I sign?

Amber - i hope I am not too late to wish you luck for today: I am rooting for you.

Earth, I am sorry I missed your wobble, I can't add anything to what has been said except that i too am glad that you slept and feel a bit better.

and about the plan to time limit benefits for the terminally ill, and frankly disgusted that you have to go to a back to work meeting, Pink. Where do these people come from, and do you think they sleep at night? I wouldn't be able to, I know that....

Belly dancing's a fantastic idea jm! Should be available on the NHS.

earth, v. pleased to hear you had a good night's sleep. I didn't do anti-depressants, but looking back I really should have. Listen to the others, as they're most wise.

To all those recently operated on, I am befuddled but when you had lumpectomy/ mastectomy how long before you could do things like the school run? I really can't remember and need to think about childcare and such like. I think I was up and about pretty quickly and DH remembers similar, but he's got to be at work the week after my op, so I need to think ahead. I have the op on a Thursday, and he needs to go away for work the following Tuesday for 3 days.

Hope Amber's back pronto with good news.

Smee, I'm not sure a lumpectomy would be the same as a mastectomy, but I was up and about and doing the school run and stuff the next day. I think if you have to drive any distance it may be different though, both because of the seat belt and because you will still have a fair bit of anaesthetic in your system, which may have issues for your car insurance if you have an accident.

Thanks Cakes, that's kind of what I remember too and I can't see that a lumpectomy's all that different. Mainly it's the effect of the GA that throws you in terms of recovery - or at least I think it is. We walk to school - takes about 10 minutes, so it's not too far.