ReLIGHT my fire, lose weight, stop the scales going higher!

[FuckityFucker]

Hello, I'm Mouseface, well I am usually

Time to kick your backside into shape. Ditch the junk, fatty foods and sweets.

COME ON!!!!

LIGHTen up your life, you can do it!!!!

SAF -

Sorry Jazzie - that made me boak.

I mean, who would you show it to?

Picture the scene - dinner party, family get together, everyone starts showing off their new tattoos and bang!

You whip you bejewled fanjo out and flash it proudly to all and sundry.

I'd be put of my toasted english muffins for breakfast the next day I'm afraid.

Fuck that Jazzie - buy what you want to be in for the next 25+ years. Somewhere for you all to grow, in your oen time, no-one elses xx

'own'

Jazzie - I own this houes, Dh owned another that we rented so we couldn't both own this house IYSWIM.

I always rented up until here.

But, we LOVE this place, you are all invited once we get the bloody cabin/spare rooms sorted, but I know in my heart that we'll never sell it.

We got £20k off the asking price, it's a shit hole and needs masses of work, but we knew that.

So this is our project

And when it is complete, our children will have something worth so much more to sell.

Jazzie - you'll fit right in here, you're fecking funny

I'm not psoh, I promise, I'm a Manc lass for a start, not living there but bred there.

So I say Fivor and SAF says perb. Though she'll deny it.

Oh and she's far prettier than me but don't tell Dubs - she's infactuated with being the pretty one.

Dubs - sorry, I forgot. Tsk of me. Your DD's father is a twat. As is my DD's sperm donor.

But I can't type, I'm hoping you'll still love like me though??

We don't, we pity you.

Like hell we do. Shush now xx

Jazzie - I meant to add 'fivor' is £5 and 'perb' is pub.