Update on Rindercella's DH

[Rindercella]

Apologies for putting my name in the thread title - it seems so self important but I don't mean it to be. So many of you offered so much help, support and fantastic advice, I just wanted to let you know where we are at. Previous threads here and here.

DH was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer with secondary lymph node cancer in May last year, when our DD2 was just 5 weeks old. 9 months on and things are very far from well. DH's health has unfortunately really deteriorated since then. Particularly since Christmas he is suffering so much more pain and discomfort. He can now barely eat and is just so, so weak.

He saw his oncologist yesterday and he is to start a course of chemotherapy starting next Wednesday. He also needs a blood transfusion next week (and thank you to everyone who gives blood, what a brilliant thing you do).

He is a very, very ill man. It is so bloody hard to see the man I love so very much waste away. There is no prognosis. I know he is going to die from this fucking awful disease. I just don't know when.

I am getting counselling, which is definitely helping me. And my SIL is now more or less living with us which is so fanastic I cannot tell you - her being here helps us all so much, and it helps her and it helps the rest of their family, knowing that she is here. I actually don't know how I coped for the last couple of months before her arrival. I am still manically busy, and that's with an extra person helping me. I think DD1 feels it very much too and is especially clingy to me and she really hates me leaving her (eg when I drop her off at preschool).

Mostly this seems so surreal. Like I am not really typing these words. Cancer. Chemo. Only pallative. My darling husband. Those things just shouldn't be joined together. But they are and it is very, very painful.

I hope that the chemo does make DH feel better (I understand that he is likely to have bad days following the treatment). The worst pain for him is in his bones. He sometimes screams out with the pain. Just heartbreaking.

Does anyone have andy advice on how best to help him through his chemo?

Not long now until R is home.

Thinking of you all.

So pleased to hear that everything's in place for R to come home.

Here's wishing you a lovely weekend together :)

Hi Rinders....Fingers crossed your Dear Husband comes home as soon as possible with of course the best level of care possible.

He will be in the best place, at home watching his girls play in the garden as the sun starts to warm up a bit.

Sending you continued strength, courage and support from Albuquerque.

And no one else is important only those whom YOUR DH cares about.
The ex may find some other way to process her grief/guilt its not up to you to care about her. Dont give her another second of your thoughts.

Thank you all so much for your messages - they really do give me a huge boost.

No change here really, DH is 'comfortable'. I stayed with him last night which was lovely apart from him waking at 3.45 am and not going back to sleep. He wanted to chat instead! So I am a little knackered now.

I am currently at my hairdresser's waiting for my highlights to be done. I was 15 mins early for my appointment. Then will go straight to the hospice to see Richard. My SIL is with the girls and DSS is around too - first thing he did when he got to our house was to cut the grass. What a saint!

We're all gearing up to DH coming home on Tuesday. Rooms are now ready for the carers. The sitting room is nearly ready for DH and I just have paperwork to sort out and put away and then have bed, hoist, etc delivered on Monday. Nearly there. Ambulance is booked for 3pm to bring him home. Feel like getting the bunting out!

Having to take extra special care of DD1, she's getting very upset about it all very easily. DD2 is fine. So long as she has cake. Xx

If you want bunting, have bunting .

... and lots of cake

Put up the bunting! Much better to have bunting for Richard's homecoming than any Royal Weddings etc!

I agree - go with bunting.
A much loved man is coming home to spend the time he has with his wife and children. To be cherished and supported and embraced. If that doesn't rank bunting then what would?

Hope your hair looks lovely!

Have a good weekend - as I remember OJ saying - making some happy memories.

Rinders, we were all thinking of you at the MMMM in Birmingham last weekend. Much love being sent from the a/n thread.

Aww, bless DD2 with her cake. She's a girl after my own heart. And DSS sounds like a lovely young man.

Glad everything's coming together, hope Tuesday comes round quick for you :)

Oops, p/n thread, that should be.

DD and I heard there was cake? And bunting?

Am very excited for you for Tuesday, I'm very pleased that Richard is going to be able to come home and be with you all. Especially if it means he can keep you up yapping at night :)

Very pleased to hear he is coming home Rinders. I hope it goes smoothly. I am thinking of you all during this time.

hi rinders i haven't read the whole thread but i reallyhope tuesday goes well for you all adn get the bunting out if you want to!!!

im so pleased for you that everything is in order to bring your husband home, i have to say what i nice young man your stepson is.

Thinking of you all. Roll on Tuesday.

Hope everything is still going to plan. You must be so pleased to think he will be home again.

Good luck for tomorrow Rinders I will be thinking of you and your beautiful familly.

Thinking of you Rinders, hope all goes well with Richard's homecoming tomorrow xx

It's nearly Tuesday .

I hope you have got the bunting and cake ready and that everything goes well tomorrow.

What a gargantuan task this has all been for you. Not a moment to catch your breath. You are amazing, you really are.

Hugs to you, Rinders!

XXXXXXXXX

Tomorrow is nearly here for Richard to be back home with you. x

How exciting, have a lovely day x