**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

Welcome back LJ. I am glad you stayed in that extra day, especially if it meant being brought hot chocolate in bed Hope you are doing ok, come and tell us how you feel when you are up to it. Fingers crossed for no ballooning armpits, not a good look

Congratulations RWU - I hope you feel all enthused after meeting them, did you saying you were going in to chat about it today?

Smee hope you are avoiding both the gift shop and the poo throwing monkeys! Last time I took a class to the zoo it was hard to tell the difference between the children and the exhibits! Hope it goes well and you are not too knackered tonight! You might need one or two of these

Smee and Kurri - you are both making me feel very guilty about my lack of exercise, but not so guilty that I am doing anything about it

Figgyroll I am around, in and out today, if you need some hand holding.

cakes - don't you start on the virtuous keep fit campaign too.....have a muffin and a cup of tea with me Seriously I am very impressed by get up and go, I feel more like get up, and get back down again at the moment.

I meant your get up and go one of these days I will learn to type and to proof read.

sparkles - all I will say is, I haven't actually been yet Last week I was all ready to, had tea early and everything. Then dh asked if i was sure I ought to go as I looked terrible and so I decided not to. It could easily happen again - I always look terrible

Nice to see you here

smee- will there be tapirs ? so cute... have fun !
Am off to Sainsbury's soon,via the school uniform place for bigger shirts for ds and the bank (a cheque-yay !) but hoping dad will come round v soon with long ladder and battery for me to change the smoke alarm one on the landing...it's chirping annoyingly.
So figgyroll-will be here too,on and off.
Hope there is no underarm balloooning limejelly and that you are up to exercising tonight Cakes (am sure i wouldn't be arsed to go,being very lazy person indeed)

It's not looking hopeful. Am still ploughing through this copywriting project of mine - there's loads of us on it, it is a worldwide project. All my bits are about cities in South and central America - the things I don't know now about Lima and Panama City aren't worth knowing Doing the research is quite nice but I am finding the writing hard going - it is to a tight formula in terms of content, style and length and I find that really hard. So I am quite behind.

Hello all. just passing by and thought I'd pop in. Will sit down later and catch up with all the gossip.

Not much going on here - have had two days at work now which is fun and I've also had a day being followed by that film crew I told you about which was umm... interesting.

Will read what you've been up to a bit later.

Special hello to Figgyroll - I couldn't post without saying how sorry I am to read about the awful time you're having right now.

Hello all, nice to see you Pennies - don't forget to let us know when your documentary is coming on I'm glad the job is going well.

Hope the work is going OK Cakes - it sounds hard, but interesting.

I hope everything is healing up nicely LJ, take it easy and rest

MAS - I am working on a list to e-mail you - not finished yet, but I haven't forgotten

I felt faint again in yoga, -I'm fed up with this now - my Gp is 'not there' at the moment so haven't been able to phone him, will try again tomorrow.

I actually fell asleep in the relaxation at the end. When I woke up everyone was sitting up and rolling up their mats - the teacher said I looked peaceful so she just left me asleep

Love to Figgyroll, xx

KK that does sound thyroid related. Bloody doctors....

Hot Chocolate in bed?! Am impressed, LJ. Fantastic you have no drain, but hope the arm's feeling vaguely okay. Very good to have you back.

Sparkle, you're not supposed to have any get up and go - you've just had a big operation woman. Honestly just staying upright is an achievement for now. Took me an age to even walk in a straight line.

Survived the Zoo - though decided against the Meerkat. Sloth's a cracking idea though, Cakes. Wish I'd thought of that one. How do Teachers do it all day every day? Even with (mostly!) nice kids, it's a heck of a thing to do.

Kurri, we were spared the tedium of the gift shop. Most of the children are from poor backgrounds, so we only do trips which cost nothing and the kids aren't allowed to take money with them, so there's no point in going into the shop. Bit of a relief really.

But where is that Doctor of yours?? I thought they were away last week, but back now. Does sound thyroid related - is that what you're thinking too? Am impressed by the Yoga though. Even if you did nearly faint.

MAS, a cheque. Hooray for money. Bit of a sod being self employed isn't it? I still haven't been paid for a job I did before BC. Which is nearly a year ago now.

Hope DD's forgotten her morning trauma, Cakes and the work's a bit further on. Sounds like a giant, impossible puzzle.

DH away with work, so intend to nail DS into bed, then crawl to the sofa - via the fridge of course. I wasn't going to drink in the week this week, but it's all gone to pot. Might try next week instead. .

Figgyroll, just wanted to say am thinking of you. Also to say I wouldn't worry too much yet about your son or what to say. Find out what you're facing first, then take stock. It is hard, but there are ways of making it okay for him. and there's lots of advice out there that can help you decide what to tell him. Sounds strange, but I've been amazed how little my son's been affected by the past year.

I'm thinking thyroid too now. I also thought doctor was supposed to be back but apparently not - goodness knows where he is - golfing in the Caribbean probably .

Good you escaped the gift shop, not taking money is an excellent idea (we used to have a limit -about enough to by a pencil or something, but some parent would ignore it and send their kids with £10 - trouble and tears all round!)

Only trouble with the yoga is that it's in a big dance studio with a mirrored wall - so I can see exactly how fat I am

I would not be able to cope in a mirrored room- I find being in the hairdressers bad enough (love having my hair cut etc) but cannot bear to look at myself - am wondering whether I have a bit of body dysmorphia (think it can be related to OCD) - sounds very shallow

Helo everyone,

Figgy - I am an occasional on here now but went through the whole diagnosis and treatment last year - this thread is wonderful and I was an addict - still get withdrawal symptoms!

So I just want to say hello, and welcome, and agree with the advice already given. I found my mind was reeling dreadfully for a couple of weeks and you think you'll never cope, but you do, and come through.

I'd suggest you just deal with what you know, try not to panic or imagine the worst all the time - hard I know but really helpful for your own sanity.

Gradually as you tell a few friends and family you'll build a support team and probably find people are much more generous than you'd have imagined.

So hang on in there, don't read scary stuff on the web and ask your questions here. Give yourself treats - especially walking and fresh air - this was a absolutely key for me - all through, whenever I was strong enough.

I am back at work, with hair, normal eneryg and people say I look really good - you will be Ok even if you get bad news, or have to take trips you don't expect.

RWU - congrats on the job - that sounds great! How many hours will you do? And if Petunia has gone does that mean no chemo at present? It is nice to feel you can whirl about and not worry about the line.

KK - Sorry about the faints. When will you see GP?

LJ - welcome back - hope the posh PJs went well.

Everyone - glad to hear things are mostly going well. Couldn't quite keep up with meerkats but never mind

The Penguin Cafe concert on Monday was just fab and heaven!!! I really loved it.

SR at penguin cafe, was it really good. Oh so wish that I could persuade dh to come to that kind of thing with me.

Kurri, this fainting/feeling faint is not good, please take care.

smee - having done the teacher on the school trips, I just spent every trip counting the children's heads to make sure I hadn't lost one. Still I often compare how difficult it can be to manage my own three children, when I used to have 35 infant children in a class, are those were the days when children did as asked and didn't answer back.

Hello everyone, I'm back again. Thank you so much for your support, it really helped me last night and when I quickly read through again this morning. My goodness, I was really panicking last night, wasn't I?

DH had a meeting in London today so I went along to keep him company (well, not at the meeting, I had a couple of coffees in the staff canteen) and to keep my mind from whizzing here there and everywhere. We had a lovely day - lunch at St.Pauls and a visit to The Tate Modern but I think I overdid the walking because my breast was very painful - sharp shooting pains. But now I've had a lovely bath and am sitting here in my nightie and dressing gown, it's much more comfortable.

Everything is in place for my darling mum's funeral on Friday. I can't believe she's gone but I've asked her to help me in whatever way she can. I miss her so much.

I'm glad you had a lovely day Figgyroll - trying to fill the time with things to occupy your mind is definitely the way to go to help you through at the moment.

Can you take some paracetamol/nurofen to help with the pain - might just take the edge of it for you

You know, dealing with the loss of your mum is such a big thing - and its always very hard in the days before the funeral. You might feel a little more at peace afterwards, because getting through that farewell is part of the grieving process. I haven't worded that very well but I hope you know what I mean

You are doing so well in coping with all this. One day at a time yes? you'll get through, and a little cry can be helpful at times. xx

Figgy- keep yourself occupied but don't overdo it! (I am a fine example of this phrase )
sr- I am doing 6h for the first few weeks then building up to 12, then if I can manage up to 18 on occasion! No chemo until mid march ish by the sounds of it, still in low level daily dose but it's quite manageable.

figgyroll-your day out sounds lovely and hope you aren't too achy and sore. Will be thinking of you on friday and am sure your mum will be looking after you-I do believe that.
Am off to deliver my work,so must get cracking ! Love to all x

Figgyroll - the day out sounds just what you need. Be kind to yourself. I also believe that your Mum will be watching over you.

RWU - the job sounds great. Well done!

Smee - the zoo trip sounds arduous - I went to Warwick Castle with dd's school last summer: I don't know how teachers do it. I only had 4 to look after and I just kept counting their heads.

KK - that doctor needs to get back in, it's ridiculous. Take it easy in the meantime. No expert here, but it does sound like thyroid to me.

MAS - I had a really daft (but possibly fun) idea. If you redesign your invoices every time (!) how about designing 10 or so really nice ones and numbering them - ie 'Number 1 in a series of 10'. It'd be great, draw attention to your work and be a cheeky way of saying 'Collect all 10' !!!! It may be a stupid idea, but equally it might be a way to keep you in people's minds. You can tell me if it's crap, people usually do. It's just that I have been having an ideas week - dh has had to come up with a lot of ideas for features for a magazine he has just started working on: so we have been having a brainstorm and now i can't stop. They have been of variable quality

that is a very lovely idea Cakes My invoice has to go through by email on a form this time- grrr.
My invoices/receipts for the pictures and cards is on manky duplicate thingy - must do something stylish instead !!
anyway, my drawings went down very well so tht's a r3elief !

That's the main thing!

Talking of money, I am not very good at my accounts. I have just this morning discovered that a very, very large organisation indeed owes me £3800 - some of it from last March!!! I really am absolutely dire when it comes to finances.>.

send 'em to RWU