**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

don't be silly limejelly -wasn't brusque at all ! Smee's idea is very good too-I might mull several things around- will look for the Cancer Vixen one too.
KK oh your poor uncle -how awful to have to abandon your home- so scary..will be thinking of them.
Well done on weight loss SR !!
Am totally shattered after being awake until ds got in last night/this morning-and parent consultations are hugely exhausting- science teacher quite scary-don't think ds finds her very inspiring which is a shame as he isn't doing as well as he used to. Music and history were glowingly good but he is slipping in English and Geog. - bit too careless -annoying as they are subjects he is perfectly capable of doing really well in. Bit clearer about his last choice in GCSE options- must decide this weekend.
Tomorrow is his hospital appointment and blood test - I'm also dropping in to see my lovely bcn. Wagamama afterwards.
Oh and baking retrieved from food tech room - they were very nice !
Night night- might not get on here tomorrow as dh working from home until we go to hospital..
love to all xxxxx

Please can I just say in advance that you are welcome to ignore this as the rantings of an insane old bag - but dh has just got the train to London and sent me an email from the train to say it has cost £168. WHAT???????? He hasn't even got a first class ticket? So by my reckoning that is about £1 a mile. Bloody hell!

KK - what a worry about your uncle - and how terrifying for him, at his age and state of health. i so hope you all hear good news soon.

SR - cave hotel sounds absolutely wonderful: and the weight loss even more so. Truly well done!

LJ - I do like uour style about the Vanessa Mae concert. Dh and i did something similar with tickets to Romeo and Juliet at the RSC. We were a teeny bit late, it was a lovely warm evening, the pub we walked past looked nice...... we decided to have some wine and just go to the second half. But dh gets a bit garrulous when he has had a glass or two, so we got royally told off for being noisy in part 2 Really, we were the kind of audience members who normally make me absolutely especially at those ticket prices, which brings me neatly back to the top of this post.

MAS - i think smee's idea for a book for BC patients and their adult family members is fab and really, a lot of it could be gleaned from this thread in terms of what to talk about. It is only a thought, but MN might be quite happy to allow it: for myself, I would also have no objections to it being used to help in planning, and also for anything I have said to be used (although I realise most of it is either rude, stupid or fatuous, and not really useful in any way ).

Smee - spill the details on your pitch woman!!!! How did it go?

Smee heroically cycles in from her second - no that should be SECOND!! - swim of the week. Sorry for smugness, but I do feel quite good this week, so am shouting it loudly, as am excited by life and living and feeling vaguely okay again.

Kurri, any news from your Uncle yet? We were watching it all on the news last night. Looked scary. And are you still feeling okay after feinting the other day?

Pitch was good thanks, Cake. I have to do a revised doc to outline new ideas, but he was very positive and also asked me to work on something else for him, so hooray. The boy, cat and DH now stand some chance of being fed this year.

There was a jaw dropping moment though - I'd told him about my cancer and he'd e-mailed back full of spot on comments, explaining he knew a bit about how it must feel as his dad had had cancer for 4 years. From which I thought his dad had survived, so blithered on asking how long ago it was - 10 years - and how brilliant his dad got through it all, only to be told he was dead. 'eck! Was a bit like being in a Monty Python sketch, as he was mortified by mentioning cancer and death in the same sentence to me and so was I to him. Was quite funny, in an oh-my-god sort of way.

LJ, are you packed yet?? Lots of things to read/ listen to/ distract yourself with? A room alone is lovely, but might be a bit dull. Do they provide tv?? I do hope so. And you can easily regale us with tales of nurses. There's always at least one who's worth a mention, though not necessarily for the best of reasons.

SR, how great about the weight. That's a lot to lose in a week though, so take care not to go too mad with it all. I think I've been to those cave dwellings and stood outside your hotel. Looked amazing. Are you going to Granada while you're there? One of my favourite places I think.

MAS, options sound tricky - when does DS have to decide by? Expect it'll feel better once he has and it's all sorted. How did he feel about being told he was slipping a bit in some subjects? Hope in a good way.

Hope Sparkle's having a good day today.

Hooray for you then, smee, on all fronts! Loads of exercise and feeling better: and now some work as well. Well done all round!

Poor you and poor client, though. It's a shame people have to tread on eggshells so much: but soon the hair will be looking normal, you won't feel you have to mention the C word and it'll be more a thing of the past.

I've just put together the schedule for my new stuff and am feeling virtuous. Now it's back to my other main project of the moment, which involves researching a lot about the economies of Mexico, Paraguay and Venezuela. Thank God for the internet is all I can say.

Lots and lots of positive thoughts for LJ and sparkles. I imagine LJ will have some very upmarket entertainment options in the private hospital: I'd also recommend some -crappy- lightweight magazines. it's amazing how interesting Jordan and Kerry Katona can be when you are just pre or post op.

hello all thank you for the kind comments re my Uncle - no news as yet, but on news 24 it is saying no one has been killed which is good news - I think my mother is worried that his insurance will not cover 'acts of God' and he will lose everything

Lots of good thoughts for tomorrow LJ, take the opportunity to have a good rest while you are in hospital - its all very draining physically and emotionally, but we'll all be thinking of you

I hope you are having a good day today Sparkle, and DS is feeling a bit better

Holiday sound lovely SR, especially the cave hotel - and well done on the weight loss - that is really good going

Well done too for all the work successes Cakes and Smee.

I think lots of DC go through a stage of just doing enough to get by MAS - but once they get nearer to the GCSE's they knuckle down - mine were both like that, but managed to get their acts together when it mattered
Hope everything goes well at the hospital tomorrow.

I had a lovely morning today - I met up for coffee and cake with some other Norfolk MNers, everyone was so nice, and there were some very cute babies and toddlers.

I'm making a GP appointment for next week, I don't feel quite right at the moment - the fainting was just one of various niggles. I'm wondering if its a problem with the tamoxifen, anyway I'll get it checked out. - Might be all in my head

Yes well done on your pitching Cakes and Smee - impressive.

Smee what a jaw-dropping moment as you say!!

MAS is making me laugh - but can't remember why (Sorry - v. busy time at work now)

KK - sorry to hear you're not feeling quite right. Are February blues playing a part? Worst month of the year I always think. This is why I've booked a few treats this year. Anyway hope GP is helpful.

Good luck to LJ in the posh PJs - perhaps we should call you LJPJ? Sounds quite posh if you say it aloud

I've taken to re-reading my diary from last year - not sure if this is a bit weird or not, but in a way I think I'm still processing it all. Otherwise I think I tend to have my head firmly in the sand and pretend nothing's happened. So I'm sort of noting anniversaries of various events - just quietly to myself. And realising how much better this year is, so its positive as a process (I think).

Sorry no time other than to wish LJ lots of luck for tomorrow. Hope they get to you very quickly in the morning, then you can curl up in silk sheets and let the nurses wait on you. Have never been private, so am just fantasising. Seriously though, none of this is easy, so take care as much as you can amidst it all. Will be thinking of you.

LJ - thinking of you !

Well done smee on your pitch -excellent Pythonesque bit apart it sounds as though it went well. And all this exercise !
KK - sorry to hear you aren't feeling quite right- always good idea to get any niggles checked out- take care of yourself now.
Hospital was fine - seen pretty quickly and everything is fine and dandy- the blood results from last time are ok,no breakdown of red cells,which would mean things were not good-just have to keep an eye out for jaundice and any bad reactions to illnesses/fevers. But if he carries on being ok his spleen can stay where it is- hooray ! No blood test either- ds very relieved.
They went to the hospital Costa and I went to see my bcn- is always odd going there -was empty,but surgeon's clinic was on the board -we had a cup of tea and talked about lots of things=meditation,mindfulness,my mum,the Cruse counselling-was really good -also mentioned my book idea and she agreed that there isn't really anything ,apart from Mummy's Lump - so that is encouraging.
Took ds to Wagamama for supper -yummy as always.

Wow Smee & Cakes well done with the work and exercise! I giggle whenever you mention the Flexibars now Cakes!

No of course I'm not packed yet - well, I am half packed - that's the half that is still in the bag from last time .

Am jolly well hoping I will get a decent TV for the money (but Cakes' "upmarket entertainment options" sounds intriguing, and quite possibly rude), was told today by a friend who has been there that you get a choice of free newspaper every day too! Do you think I could order a trashy mag?

If it were not for the actual op (damn inconvenience) this would have the makings of a lovely little minibreak Although possibly a bit lonesome on my own. Do you know, I have never been away from the boys for 3 nights before. At least they should be able to visit me over the weekend.

Kurri - yes I was pleased for you to hear on the news that no deaths have been reported. Really hope you get some good news soon. Good luck at the GPs.

Talking of which - one of the GPs I've spoken to recently phoned me yesterday afternoon - had just got the discharge notice from my first op and wanted to know how I was and say how sorry he was - wasn't that lovely? I told him the latest and he was very kind and concerned, said said he'll phone me again on Monday pm to see how I got on this time.

Sparkle - hope you and DS are OK, worried about you, thinking of you x

SR - I looked PCO up online, was thinking would be a nice little treat for me at this time - and my birthday next month - but sadly they're not playing anywhere very near me. Have a great time!

Ah yes MAS - 'Mummy's Lump' - brought it home but decided not to use it - bit too 'young' even for DS2. Interesting she said there isn't anything else, she should know. Looks like you are onto a good idea then!

Glad the hospital went well - more good news!

what a lovely gp Hope everything goes well -sending lots of love x

hope there is good news from your uncle KK
Oh dear, we get good news from hospital and I find that ds has written a thing about his 'rituals' My heart sank as he says he is doing things like touching his doorknob 4 times,and the radiator in his room and turning the bathroom light on and off 3 times - I went to talk to him and he remarkably relaxed and open about it and likened it to things he did when younger- obsessively playing with one particular rubber snake, lining up his soft toys in bed,grouping other toys. Am slightly panicked as I fear ocd getting to him too-though obviously children/teens do superstitious/good luck things as most people do-and I imagine he is under stress about school/options (choices in by 9th) . Should I just stay calm,discourage it but support ? not leap in obviously and make a big deal. My life has been marred severely by very extreme ocd and I would be heartbroken to think he could inherit it.

Aside from that though- would it be ok to PM you all at some point to give you my email address and to ask you if you could pout down points you'd find helpful in the book I'm thinking of ? my research team
Love to all today,esp. LJ

You've already got my email of course MAS - do you want me to just do something or do you want to send some specific questions?

I am off to light a big candle and it is for sparkles, LJ and KK's uncle - and for RWU just to remind her of us as she has been busy for a while.

LJ - your GP does sound nice, I don't think we'd get that level of concern here. I hope that you get seen fairly early doors today, and can spend the rest relaxing and discovering more about these entertainment options, which do sound quite rude, you're right - shame you're unlikely to be in the mood, really

MAS, I don't really know what I'd suggest about ds and his rituals. My instinct would be to just back off and say 'that's fine, don't worry' - so don't encourage but don't discourage either. It may well be just be the usual superstition stuff lots of people do, and drawing attention to it would only send it underground and maybe reinforce it. Teenagers are under so much pressure, always

Hard old day sourcing materials and ideas for dd's school project here. I dread the ones that have long timescales: they always fire her imagination which means hard work for me. Last term when other kids made posters about the skeleton we had to make a pop-up book : this time we are making a 3D model of a Roman Villa. Naturally she promises all these things at school and then expects me to now what to do - and I am NOT artistic.

KK - I imagine things a lot as well. I think one of the big things post-treatment is giving myself permission to be well again IYSWIM.

But fainting etc - could well be the tamoxifen, and also the effects of abdominal surgery. It's always a biggie and not to be got over lightly. Whatever it is, good on you for getting it checked: and it goes without saying i hope they find you are just tired - you don't want any more drugs and stuff, after all

Cakes- I think just anything you can think of with regard to dd and your diagnosis and treatment.
Thanks for advice about ds- I think I was/am just panicking a bit and should be cool about it. He turned the light off only once this morning - he seems quite calm and chatted easily about it-says he does get anxious about school but mostly to do with talking- he sets himself tasks to chat and talk and socialise each day,and if he doesn't succeed he gets very cross with himself. Will keep a discreet eye. Anyway, my father is off to London to teach some young architects how to do perspective today so I'm off to see my mum at intervals,make sure she is ok !

OK. I'll give it some measured thought and then send you something.

Oh bless your ds he is so earnest. He'll go far.

I'd just keep a watching brief. I have found that the things that worry us most often resolve themselves if we stand back and give them time. And sometimes kids are old for their years - and they just have to sort of grow into themselves. They make better adults than they do kids.

Make sure you remember to count the running to and fro as exercise.

DH has gone away to a conference and won't be back til tomorrow. As he went out the door dd shouted 'LO...' before the door slammed. So we are trying to remember to shout '...VE YOU' when he reappears tomorrow

awww !!
Yes, will keep watch- get him to focus on his school work as that is very pressing - he does spend a lot of time in his fantasy world and his imagination goes wild-so all kinds of stuff is going through his brain.
Mum fine- writing letters -says she can manage the stairlift to go to the loo- but am going to go into town quickly now and return for lunch with her. She has very good bladder btw !! I had an appalling lavatory anxiety dream last night.

No news of my Uncle yet, but he probably doesn't have access or communication lines are down. He a very sweet chap - he comes over every three or four years for a visit - the kids absolutely adore him - he is very eccentric Thank you for candle and good thoughts

MAS - anything I can do to help with ideas just let me know - but my DC were older when I was DX, so my experience of telling them etc. might not be very relevant. (They were 18 and 23 at the time). I know they found it very frightening esp. my DD, and even now I know she worries about my health and is very protective of me (too much so sometimes).

I think regarding your DS's rituals, you are right to keep an eye on him, but what is really good is that he can talk to you about it and is quite open. So if he ever felt it was becoming a problem he knows you are there to help him

Lots of love to everyone, I hoping LJ was first on the list and will soon be sitting up in bed having tea and toast. Loads of good vibes for her

Roman Villa sounds a challenge Cakes - could you download some pictures of mosaics to stick on the floor? Do villas have columns in them (knowledge very scanty!) - maybe those thin quite sturdy cardboard rolls you get in side foil etc. - hmm tricky - brings back memories of things mine decided they would create.

Kurri, definitely good to get things checked, but here's hoping it's nothing other than exhaustion and a need for some sun. Any news from Queensland yet?

MAS, yes feel free to PM me, would love to help Great to hear the hospital went well; that must be a huge relief. On the OCD, I'd guess the fact he's talking about it is a good thing. It's interesting it hits so many teenagers. I've read a bit about it lately, as a friend's son is struggling with it. He lost his adored grandfather last year and it all seemed to spiral from there. From what I've read, most teens seem to come out of OCD without it becoming a huge problem, but with him it ratcheted up to really affect his life - it was taking him over an hour to get out of the house, and some days he couldn't manage it at all. He's now having CBT, which has made a massive difference. Suppose it's all about re-taking control. All quite interesting really.

On that 'Mummy's Lump' book - I genuinely loathed it. Thought it was badly written, but also jaw droppingly negative . DS was in the target age range, but no way would I have read it with him. I can't remember exactly, but everything seemed to be: 'The Doctor's worried', 'Daddy's scared', 'Mummy's crying', 'Grandma and Grandpa are upset' - I thought it an absurdly negative load to put onto a small child. I'm all for honesty but there's ways of being truthful without making it so focused on gloom. Have always meant to write the people who wrote it and let them know I found it all wrong. I didn't even want it in the house, I felt so strongly. Maybe you should re-write that one too, MAS.

Sparkle, how's life today? Good I hope, or at least not too laden with hassle and fire fighting for DS.

Sending LJ positive vibes - hope she's already out of the gowns and the plastic pants and snuggled up in her posh PJ's.

• yes, RWU, where are you?? Tax deadline's long gone, but maybe she's collapsed in a heap still recovering.

Cakes, here's the cheat's answer:
www.amazon.co.uk/Make-This-Roman-Villa-Usborne/dp/1409506193/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

Just think though, all that stress saved for £5!!

Bloody hell smee, that puts our little villa into perspective. It's not nearly so grand but it is taking us ages. Why oh why did I decide to make our own mosaic floor . KK's idea of sticking a picture down is far more sensible. We found some mosaics on the internet, copied one freehand and have made it with little tiny cut out bits of paper. It took ages and I keep finding little stray bits of paper tessarae (sp?) everywhere.

The floor is finished now, and we have painted a landscape and sky scene inside a box, and made some buildings. Now it all has to be pasted together and I have to find people and animals, and hopefully (!) come up with a way to make a chariot.

I also have to find time to do some work (billing would be a grand idea).

Fell out with one of the PTA leading lights yesterday. Have never liked her anyway (quite snooty, but then we don't know what she says about me, I suppose) and she started to try to tell me how to do things. I am not good at being bossed about, especially when told that my predecessor 'always did it that way' Really, she got off quite lightly in my view.

Have to say, I haven't looked at 'Mummy's Lump' but it sounds absolutely dire