**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

You had a funky bottle? I had a yukky see-through bag. The shoulder bag to carry it in was a bit 'fashion forward' though (not).

Good luck with the meeting: mine went pretty well and has resulted in two more days of work a month, Hope yours is a shoo-in as well. .

LJ, apologies for being grammatically incorrect..

Cakes, yep funky clear bottles with red tops and cool tubes. DS had all sorts of plans for them. Though before you get jealous, remember I was offered a tesco carrier bag to put them in.

Really have got to run - Cakes, brilliant you got the work. I will try and do similar..

oh well done Cakes -more work can't be bad ! And good luck today smee.

Many thanks for kind words about ds- he is a bright boy but held back by not feeling he can push himself forward-very hard to deal with really- he does take advice seriously though and usually responds well to a challenge ! He is a lot like me in lots of ways,though I was hugely conscientious and quite competitive !

btw- was thinking this morning- and funky drain talk has prompted me to ask - do you think a book about bc for children-maybe not v small children-but the more enquiring older ones-say from 6 to early teens might be useful ? My agent is going to the Bologna or is it Frankfurt book fair at the end of March and likes to take new book ideas to show publishers - am vaguely processing ideas through my head- any ideas about what might be included/what is needed ?

oh and Cakes - for you - a young Jools
here

I think it would be a great idea: I think there are some similar things but one written by people who have had it would be a new angle, and a lot less theoretical. Also a lot more comforting, potentially.

It is something I had been thinking about myself, although I was thinking more of a booklet than a full blown book.

What to include:

I guess I'd like to see it focus less on what the disease is, and more about peoples' experience of the process of illness and treatment - from patients' point of view and from their families' perspectives.

What to expect (eg tiredness, sickness, hair loss, but also that life goes on and fun can still be had)

How to deal with other peoples' reactions, ideas for helping out a bit (kids do like to be involved and play a part), and just lots and lots of stories about what it's like and how people get through it. A positive book, with fun bits as well as hard bits - so it sends people through the process in a positive frame of mind. I really think that helps everyone keep it together if the going gets tough (as it does )

Oh MAS - that's brilliant, I love it!

that's what I was thinking Cakes -(about the book) it needs to be a realistic balanced thing - might put some ideas down and run them past you guys !
Glad you like the Jools-was thinking of you when I drew it...
haven't forgotten your mum's picture either- will you send me some photos/info -I can be thinking of ideas for it...

MAS I love you drawing, and the idea of a book is a fantastic one. I am in awe of you.

Thank you for the good thoughts about ds. He took a bit to get to sleep, but he did in the end, and had a fine night really except he woke up and wet himself, it happens sometimes, well quite a lot really, but bless him he had managed to get out of bed in time, and only wet his pjs really, so had just got himself changed and back into bed, that is the first time he has been able to feel independent enough to do that. I am so proud of him. Have written a letter to school detailing how their failings to meet his needs in certain aspects are destroying his self-confidence and self esteem, so we will see what fall out we get from that.....nothing yet.

feeling like I ought to weigh myself to see what the damage is....but can't quite bear the answer yet......will wait a bit and have another cup of tea while I wait.....just tea, as had slice of birthday cake alreadt today

Smee, hope meeting goes well today, fingers crossed.

Love the drawing MAS And I think the book is a great idea - especially for teenage children - there's not much out there for them.

Well done on the extra work Cakes - oops about the keys DD is back to uni today ( she's just left for the station) - I will miss her even though she's a bit of a nit at times - she does make me laugh.

Hope the meeting goes well Smee.

LJ - can you tell us when your op is again? - I thought it was Friday, - but it looks like we all think something different

Sparkle I hope the school takes note of your letter and gets their act together.

At the end of my yoga class (which I had this morning) we light a candle and as we blow it out we send the light to someone who needs good positive thoughts - so today your little lad had the whole yoga class sending the light to him (I didn't give any details at all - just said a little boy I knew of could do with it at the moment)

Now I need all your help - Dh is in a panic about book night.

last night we had this conversation

DH:'Seamus Heaney isn't who I thought he was'
Me: 'who did you think he was?'
DH: 'Ted Hughes'
Me: 'does that matter'
DH 'yes - I thought the poems would be about animals and stuff but these are all about funerals. I can't stand outside the chemo unit saying to people 'would you like to read some poems about funerals.'

So - I need your input, there are actually two poems that touch on death, (one is called 'Funeral Rites'), but I think he's being over sensitive, I don't think I'd have minded reading those when I was having treatment, it's not as if the whole volume is about death. What do you think? - I don't mind if you think he's right, he just wanted some other opinions.

sparkles - well done to your ds. DD is 7 and a half and she won't get out of bed by herself for anything. Too much imagination, I think. I hope he has a better day today and that your letter has some effect.

I guess the school thought the older kids would be better able to be mindful of his condition and be careful with him, but of course little kids go through agonies of loneliness if they can't sit with their friends. It would have been much better just to put a couple of trustworthy older kids nearby to keep an eye but say nothing. I guess it may have been the dinner ladies - I know they do a thankless job for little money and with no training so I am not being hypercritical, but if yours are anything like ours, they make some jaw-droppingly weird decisions. This doesn't help your ds at all of course, except that, if it was just a spur of the moment decision, it might be easily reversed. I hope so.

Cross posted KK

For what it's worth, my opinion is that a couple of poems about funerals is OK as long as the rest are a bit more cheery.

IMHO the difference between Ted and Seamus is minimal in terms of angst - Ted writes about animals but he always seems very tortured in his soul. (I went to see him read some of his poems at Cheltenham Ladies College once - he seemed on the verge of tears the whole time and I got a bit fed up, and snuck out for a beer instead ) That could be my epitaph - 'She's just snuck out for a cheeky beer'

But really, the idea of standing there and giving out books is a lovely one. I am sure it will be fine and much appreciated.

am with Cakes on the Seamus - am sure it'll be appreciated...
How lovely that your yoga class did the candle thing for sparkle's ds KK - hope DD didn't mislay anything important
Will have a good think about the book and if it's ok might quiz everyone - I want to do it properly.
Most of my friends seem totally underwhelmed about book night- they keep saying 'what are you going to do with 48 copies of Toast' - I was a bit dismayed by their lack of enthusiasm and thought people might be excited that I was a chosen one !

'Toast' is terrific (or at least the film was.

I am happy to be interrogated for the book. Let me know what you or your editor need.

I am amazed that the book club didn't rate book night. I think it's a great idea!

Aqua aerobics and more flipping flexi bars tonight. Groan. I shall try not to laugh this time

Cakes - you did make me lugh sneaking out for beer during the Ted Hughes !! Have done a drawing of an eight year old Sylvia Plath for the book.

yes, only one clubee said how exciting- everyopne else has ignored it- maybe they mistrust my taste in books- though in my opinion I have chosen damn good ones (who can not like Cold Comfort Farm or the fabulous Notes from an Exhibition ) harrumph

They are more likely to be miffed at not being chosen themselves

Thanks for the feedback I think I'll tell DH to stop worrying.

I think book night is a great idea too MAS - it might get people reading who've never bothered before. And Cold Comfort Farm is a brilliant book

See, I haven't read either of these. For an English graduate I am shockingly badly read....

Bit worried here - my uncle (mum's brother) is right in the middle of the Australian cyclone (he lives on an island just off the coast of Queensland, near Townsville)

He phoned mum to say they were evacuating, trying to get to higher ground, couldn't get off the island. He said he thinks he and his wife will lose their house and all their belongings they have just had to abandon and get out. No news since and no means of getting in touch. (he's 80 and recovering from bowel cancer ) Hoping he's OK, my mum is very worried.

Blimey Kurri, not surprised you're worried. Scary at any age, but for 80 year olds, I'd guess they're not the most agile or able to react quickly. Hope you get some positive news soon.

fwiw, tell your DH, I'd have bitten his arm off for a copy of the Seamus Heaney.

Sparkle, am wishing you all a peaceful night. Sounds like you need one. Whose Birthday cake was it?? Is it yours?? Have we missed it?

Cakes, we should never ever go out together, as I leave in intervals to get beer too. Though Ted Hughes is a bit of a hero of mine, so I think you surpassed yourself there.

MAS, 'Toast' is fantastic and it's great you were picked. Seems bizarre they weren't more enthusiastic. And your idea for a book for children's definitely a good one - Cakes had lots of smart ideas for content. Though why don't you pitch for a book for women and their partners/ friends too? I would have loved to have found something which told me things as you lot have, both good and bad. Can't think of anything out there that does that. Something with wit and anarchy but also useful hints and thoughts. There are definitely some for pregnancy and child rearing, so why not breast cancer?!

KK - I do hope your relations in Q'land are ok - very scary. I think the Ozzies are well geared up for emergencies though. They get too much practise with bush fire and all.

Private hospital and a private room for 3 days in posh PJs sounds great - can I come?

So sorry about Sparkle's DS - I feel superficial now for worriying about my weight.

MAS - great drawing! Love it. Wish I could do that.

And (superficial moment) yay - I have lost 4lb in the first week and am aiming for a further 3 this week. I'm superficially delighted. Even think my knees feel \ bit better already! That could be my superhuman efforts at the gym mind you . I prefer this to WW as I can eat more.

BTW we are going to Penguin Cafe Orchestra on MOnday at the Bridgewater Hall - I love them. Am really making up for so much lost time last year. Off to Spain soon as well - have booked 2 nights in a cave hotel! Think it will amuse the 2 teenage boys (DS + a friend) and be a break from our flat where we'll spend the other nights. Its a part of town near Granada where lots of people have lived in caves for ages - and now one dwelling has been made into a hotel - we'll be troglodytes!

By the way , yes MAS - book sounds good. Did you ever read that cartoon book Cancer Vixen? Its excellent - not for children but for us women. I thought it was very original and at a certain point (prob just after starting chemo) really good to read. Might provoke more ideas.

Wow what a lot I've missed today! Have resorted to making a few notes, so, in no particular order:

Cakes - congrats on winning the pitch! Thought your advice re Dinner Ladies was spot on, very wise. And I love your epitaph 'She just snuck out for a sneaky beer' - made me laugh out loud (and fancy a beer now!) Reminded me how once a friend and I passed up free tickets to a Vanessa Mae concert in favour of beer . Very kind lovely colleague had passed the tickets on to me (couldn't go herself), but by the time we arrived at the Barbican, beautiful sunny evening, one of us had the courage to admit we just didn't feel like it, the other agreed, so we gave the tickets to a delighted couple of women in the 'standby' queue and went off to drink beer in the sunshine! Very embarrassing the next day, having to praise a concert I hadn't actual been to...felt very guilty then.

MAS - great drawings. Have always been envious of people who can convey so much character, feeling etc in a simple line drawing. Economy of line and all that!
Yes please get on with producing a book for children that I can give to my boys please! Quick, quick!

But I also love Smee's idea re a book for women which is the essence of this thread - wise, funny, warm, gentle, practical and honest.

Kurri - your conversation with your DH re TH/SH also made me laugh, especially your "does that matter?"
Am so hoping that you have good news from your uncle in Queensland as soon as possible. What a worry for you and especially your mum.

SR - Congratulations on that weight loss! That is a fantastic start and well deserved by the sounds of it! Very of you going to see PCO - I love love love them. Didn't know they were still going since the main man died - will have to look out for them. As soon as I started driving my little car last Sept, that was the first CD I drove to - bowling along in the sunshine with PCO as a soundtrack!

Just to clarify, am going in for my op on Friday, should be out on Monday. Am booked in for 3 nights!

Have been thinking tho - private room - I'll have no funny tales to tell you all on my return about odd-bod bed neighbours (unless I take up SR's offer to come with me).

I have been very touched that you have all taken my rather tongue-in-cheekiness re posh PJs to heart - I am really not worried at all, only joking, should have used a or a . I know any of my PJs will be just fine, and I do have some quite nice ones . (Of course, if one is truly posh, one does not give two hoots about what others may think of one's night apparel. They have probably been run up by Nanny from the old ballroom curtains, after all.)

Sorry MAS - my request for a book aimed at my boys' age group looks very brusque looking back