**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

thinking of sparkle and phil today xx
Pennies - you have been busy- (am feeling loads better thank you) and how exciting about the choir and the documentary - you must report back !!

There's Pennies again - the posts may be few and far between, but they always contain gripping information about a life that is, frankly, far more glamorous than mine. IIRC it was Kylie last time. But, Pennies, I have seen your blog and your hair looked fab! Give it time: not surprised you don't want it cut quite yet.

LJ - no nipple relocation here either, but I am sure it will settle down a bit. The bra's important of course, but it is quite a big ask for a re-stitched nipple (ouch) to accept a bra without complaint. Silk sounds a good idea, as does the breastfeeding doo-dah.

I did all my good wishing before the weekend, but sending my vibes anyway again to Phil and Sparkles. I'll light a candle for both in a minute.

KK - glad the ballet was great - my Mum is going to see a Matthew Bourne one in a few weeks - she has been before and says they are great.

hello to everyone else: here's to a good week.
x

Hello ladies. I'm back. And very very lucky and happy and relieved as they have pronounced me fine and well. I'm so very lucky.

Had a meeting with a really super and kind nurse who examined me and was really reassuring that breast pain is normally nothing and when I asked about the lump in my arm pit said she thought it was nothing to be concerned about. Then mammogram (which was less ouch making than I expected) which also showed clear. I feel so privileged that it was ok.

This whole episode has taught me alot with regards to the kindness of strangers and the support of people who understand how you feel. I hope that I can do for other people what you ladies have done for me over the last two weeks. At the risk of being nauseating, if only the spirit of support that is on this thread could be in all walks of life how much better the world would be.

Sorry, I'm grizzling again! need to go and get ds now as writing from the car on phone and just heard bell go at school!! I'll be back!

Phil - that is wonderful , I'm so pleased for you, what a relief it is all over and you can get back to normality, - and so pleased we were able to help out during the horrible waiting time - thank you for the kind words.

I think you need a large drink and should hint heavily for a box of chocs.

Yeay for Phil!! That's utterly fantastic. Definitely treat time tonight for you. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

Am woefully behind on knowing what's going on - feel quite bereft. Having been trying to live a normal life and failing mostly, but it keeps me away from here. Just quickly though..

Pennies - you are amazing. I could never be on a documentary, let alone performing. . My hair's coming back curly too - most bizarre thing for me is that I was vaguely successful with Cold Cap, so I still had some old hair and now new hair is poking through it - looks kind of like a bad mullet. Thank gawd it's woolly hat weather.

I saw Kings Speech too - but I think you should all go and see Black Swan. Gloriously silly, ott, melodramatic and even a teeny bit scary. Beautiful dancing for those who love ballet. Honestly it's huge fun, though I haven't a clue what it's about..

Limejelly, hope the silk's working. Bras are a sod through all of this. good idea to not buy new ones until it settles down a bit. Did Breast Nurse have any ideas to help? They're usually pretty good.

Hoping Sparkle's okay. Should have had her op by now I'd have thought.

Waving to all others. Hope life's sunny.

Kurri, never posted on your dad - amazing story. Was he in the Battle of Britain? Am guessing not, but he couldn't have missed it by much.

Phil, I am really, really pleased and relieved for you. How absolutely terrific. Champagne at the very least.

Don't feel you have to go away if you don't want to: you would be most welcome to stay and chat about anything and everything. Seems a shame to lose a friend over NOT having cancer.

I'd love to see Pennies and her documentary. Anyone who can sing is a star in my book.

smee - i didn't know you did the cold cap thing. How does it work, then?

Smee - no my dad wasn't in the Battle of Britain, he was shot down in 1941. But yes he has lots of stories. He wrote lots of diaries and letters when he was in the camp and from earlier when he joined up. I'm planning on starting to type them all up next time I go down to my parents - they are very interesting. He was so young - younger than either of my Dc are now, - the pilot of the plane they were in was 25yrs old and Dad and the other crew member called him 'Grandad'

I had the cold cap for two sessions IIRC, but it didn't work for me all my hair fell out just after my second dose. Mind you the cap was large and I have a pea sized head so that might have been the reason.

Strangely my hair which was very curly has come back completely straight- it is very weird isn't it - I have no idea how to deal with my hair, I imagine it's the same if you had straight and now have curls.

One of my friends hair came back very curly and she felt really angry when people said 'oh its lovely, curls suit you etc.' because she said it didn't feel like her hair and she didn't choose it or want it that way

Cakes is right Phil - do pop on whenever you feel like it to let us know how you are doing

Hoping Sparkle has had her op. and is sitting up having a nice cuppa and some icecream/jelly or whatever they decide to allow her

When did he become a Navigator then? Battle of Britain was 1940, so I was wondering if that's a reason he went for flight crew maybe? Would be fascinating to go through all of his diaries and letters I'm sure. A lot of them were so young.

Cakes, cold cap is bizarre - gel cap which they pull on tight and it's obviously cold! I had a sort of pavlovian response to it, so chucked up as soon as it touched my skull each time. Nurses said they'd never seen that before - I do so like to be unique.. I'm not sure I'd do it again, but it was bearable and I kept a lot of hair which made a difference to me, but also I think to DS, as it meant I was never obviously a cancer sufferer, so he didn't get those waves of sympathy and pity directed our way wherever we went. Am sure you know what I mean..

Phil, yes come back here whenever. You're one of us now no matter what the result.

Crikey. I wasn't offered that at all. it would have been nice to keep some hair. I was as bald and shiny as a grape after the second session. The pitying looks are one of the very worst things

PS My hair came back exactly the same as previously, so i guess I am quite lucky. My hair has never been up to much, but at least I know what to expect with it

So how long do you have to keep the cap on for, then?

hooray for phil - brilliant news - I'm so happy for you- do please stay with us if you fancy it- you are more than welcome
Am off to meditate and then back to my drawing board !

Kurri, how amazing to have that record book. In danger of revealing my anorak side now, but I think I'm right in saying Blenheims were very much used in the Battle of Britain. They just didn't get the recognition that the fighters did.

How odd - my post disappeared. I will check details with mum she knows more than me (You know more than me too)

I've asked for my last post to be removed now because on reflection I thought perhaps it might not be a good idea to reveal dad's name to the world (don't mind you knowing obviously)

Be intriguing to know - he did well to survive in the air for two years before being shot down. The Blenheims were less risky than the fighter planes obviously, but still scary work and a lot were lost. All so young too. Very sad.

Phil - I'm so delighted to hear you're OK. What a wonderful relief for you.

Just been to choir which was fun. I knew they'd be filming everyone generically and I just assumed they'd want to interview me at the end or during our break but what actually happened was that this huge camera was in my face for most of the the rehearsal. There was one point when we were singing Let Me Entertain You where I had to hold a pose with a totally serious face whilst the camera focused on my face. The pose in question required me to have both my arms aloft whilst pointing forward like some kind of poor imitation of a bull about to charge a matador. Nice. [bhmm] Anyway it's all a giggle. I'll keep you posted as to when they want to come and film me on my own manor warbling around the house whilst I tidy up etc. Why did I say I'd do this?!?!?

oh wow Pennies !!! I love the idea of the choir but I'd be far too shy and embarrassed to do it,let alone be filmed !! (strangely enough I sang in a band when I was at art school) You're going to be a star !!.
Hope sparkle is resting and comfy.
No wee dreams but one about Benedict Cumberbatch

Phil - hope you are still around - just wanted to say what absolutely fantastic news and I am over the moon for you!

Sparkle - hope everything went well, anaesthetist was gentle, nurses were kind, and you are comfortable and relaxing. Warm thoughts to you

Gosh Pennies what a glamorous and exciting life you lead! Does sound a laugh too. When will it be broadcast?

Pennies. Wow! I just couldn't do it (and no-one would want me to, if they'd heard me sing). I want to hear all about it, and also see the show.

MAS - Benedict Cumberbatch? About as off the wall as me dreaming about Deborah Farazmand (who I went to school with when I was pretty young) - which was my standout dream last night. I trust yours was not a rude dream I can assure you mine abut Deborah was not

smee: how do you know all this stuff about WW2 planes? Impressive.

Special wave for LimeJelly. Hope you are feeling OK and well looked after.

LJ - believe me my life has very little glamour in it. I just big up all the stuff that doesn't involve emptying the cat litter tray, filling the dishwasher, making beds etc etc!

I suppose I have certainly done some fairly interesting stuff these past few months, but I think that's a legacy of BC really and I find myself saying yes to things that I would never normally have done.

I'm bricking myself about when they come over and film me here. I'm wondering whether I should ask my choir leader if I can actually sing (you don't need to audition for Rock CHoir so you can join if you're totally tone deaf and it's still fine!) before they come. [bconfused]

I think it will be shown sometime in June - it's 3 x 1 hour programmes. Not so sure they'd have so much material to fill that much airspace but hey ho. I reckon I'll be in about 3 mins of it!

Love the burns nights emoticons! I addressed a haggis in full Robert Burns styleee a couple of months ago!

MAS - as for dreams I'm dreaming for a night of uninterrupted sleep. If it's not the hot sweats it's either one of my DDs creeping in for a cuddle and then not budging. I don't have the energy heart to move them back to their own beds.

SR - hope you're recovering well.

Pennies - i was talking to a bigwig at a nearby hospital trust a few months ago - to do with work not treatment, but we were discussing BC as he knew i had had it, and so had his wife.

He said it changes everything, and i really feel the same way. So if you have taken on new things that you wouldn't have before, I know exactly where you are coming from, I am the same way. Good on you for taking something positive from a very crappy episode: long may it continue!

[bsmile} just because I can!

clearly that should be [bsmile]

[bhmm]

it was a fairly rude dream [bgrin] !!
I do think that having had the experience of bc has changed things a lot for us all- I maybe wouldn't have got into Mindfulness and my work seems to have gathered momentum and I have a huge new enthusiasm for it- so...