Blinded by the LIGHTer ladies!

[Mouseface]

Hello

Welcome to our thread all about cake cheese and chcolate healthy eating. Well, on a good day!

I'm Mouse, I have the weight of a huge Camenburg to lose but have lost lots already thanks to the support of this thread and the lovely LIGHTer ladies!

No rules, no clique, just us!!

Come say hi

Ok, yes I do heart you all!! Lots.

Bed here so see you all in the morning.

Physio
Hydro
Hair
Docs
Shopping.

But I will be here in between all of those xx

bit late but night mouse.

am watching smallville in bed - i'm so many series behind it makes no sense at all.

tomorrow:

ironing,
clearing out cupboards,
cleaning downstairs,
cooking a proper meal for my son,
writing lists of what i need to do.

Morning lovelies xx

I think my Fibro Myalgia is bad, which explains a lot, I'm not glad perse, but glad I have realised there is a reason for how I feel at the mo.

Hope Mouses recognition that undigested food might be key to something Brian...
shall we call you Doc Mouse from now on?

DD was really pudgy and looked like Winston Churchill, I wish I could have had Maternity leave just to squidge her thighs . She's my mini amazon now, all leg .

Morning. My baby is sick. Throwing up every ten minutes :( so no work for me. This is ridiculous. Ive had to take a half day off for ds once this week already :(

And it was only a week ago I was off myself.

I'm not looking hugely reliable, am I?

Having to take it all as holidays, so no Christmas break for me.

Ah well.

Oh UNO it really isn't easy is it?

Oh mittz, at least I'm ok! How are you, my lovely? Sorry you're not well. X

Well, I am struggling physically, but a little better mentally, which I prefer to be honest, I can 'deal' with the physical, although Fibro is very draining, but the other stuff is just pants.

At pains for DC's not to remember their upbringing as being blighted by my 'issues' so at the very least I pretend which goes a long way to getting you through. I am in awe of DS, he is a little rock, although he doesn't realise it yet.

My head feels calmer though so walked DD to school kicking leaves and laughing.

Is no one else up? lazy arses, hope they are getting lie ins

Morning, sorry for those illing.

This morning DS has thrown his mattress from his bed, broken the stair gate and broken the coffee table by throwing it across the room.

I guess it's fair to say he didn't want to go to school.

Fed Up.

Yes, it is crap Bitter. That other supposedly human beings can make another soul feel so wretched.
Can you keep him off for a day at all? I used to with DS, just have some one to one, take him for lunch somewhere, go for a walk and just sod it all. I would even tell school why it he was off. He didn't function at his best when he was so unhappy so the odd day off was beneficial.

I even do it now from time to time.

It feels so insurmountable. for him on your behalf. Would he punch cushions? DS had to give his hurt and anger a physical outlet..does even now, but having a focus for it can reduce the damage that gets done and the ensuing frustration of having things to mend and replace, however you ache for them.

He blew up this morning, hit an oil can off a bench and it hit next doors car. .. No apparent damage but I found it hard to sympathise when my brain was scrambling at the thought of having repairs to pay for...... He kicked the door the other day so hard we thought he had broken his toe.

Oh bugger it, can we just huddle somewhere?

Bitter... I don't know if this helps, but the worse things got the more wretched DS felt and his behaviour spiralled.
He had no self esteem and I developed a Mantra. I would hold his little face and look into his eyes and say ''DS, I believe in you, we WILL get through this and make it better, I love you, I think you are amazing and am so proud of you'' and others like that.

He just thought it would never end.

Do you breathe with him? DS hated it but I would keep telling him to slow his breathing down and breathe deeper because he would sort of hyper ventilate when he was angry. If I could I would hold him or his hands and do it with him.

Much love sweetie, you can come out of the other side, it is just tough now.

awww bitter! want a cup of coffee with a stinky woman in pig pen? i do a good line in coffee tables too

sorry for the fib flare mittz - but glad the other stuff is better.

and uno - sorry for illing baby. must be stressful having to take the time off work. full of admiration for people who cope with work, children and relationships - any one of those three is a struggle for me!

good morning all x

i do the breathing thing with ds when he loses it mittz. he doesn't do raging (yet) but can tip over into the near hysterical range occasionally when he gets upset and can't stop (rarely thank goodness). he hates it too but gradually it gets through to him and works.

so make him tell her brian! text back saying well you'll need to phone and explain that to her this evening. you made the promise you can break the news to her that you're not keeping it.

Oh ladies!

Bitter - poor DS! He must be really really upset if he's doing that. God how awful. Second what Mittz said about letting him kick the shit out of something or punching something rather than someone.

I can't imagine hpw hard this is for you. Wish I could help. xx

UNO - Poor you too!!! Sorry you have a poorly one at home. These things happen and I hope that your employer understand s this. They knew you had children when they offered you the job. They can't fire you for that. xx

Mittz - beautiful Mittz. So sorry that you are struggling too. I want to wrap you all up and keep you safe from all of the shit you are dealing with.

Can I? Can I take it all away from you and lock it a box?

Mittz - try and get some rest today. You must be uber drained xx

Is Dubs at school?

Morning other lushies

uno - i feel for you, i know when I first went back to work had to have lots of time off due to ill dd1 and you feel terrible, like you can't do what work want and you can't do what home needs

Miitz - sorry you're feeling bad physically wise but you're feeling better in the head

I love your talk with ds, "I would hold his little face and look into his eyes and say ''DS, I believe in you, we WILL get through this and make it better, I love you, I think you are amazing and am so proud of you'' and others like that" think it sounds a good thing to try bitter.

Think my experiences of school were so bad I would only be a doom merchant on this one My behaviour at home was awful because I was being bullied and was too ashamed/embarrased to tell anyone.

What would have helped? Probably the talk that Miitz said above, then I'd have known I was loved at home if not at school.

My bullying was because of how I look physically so nothing could really be done, couldn't move schools and anyway don't think a child should have to, should be the bullies who are moved.

There are a couple of books that might help bitter let me get a link.

Oh FGS, Brian, what a WAZZOCK, Agree with wallows about him telling her, but you just don't want them to be hurt do you?

DS asked me if his Dad still drinks the other day. and yesterday he spoke to the school counsellor. Just had enough I think, things not being great with his Dad. He did it off his own back, the first time in 4 yrs, despite having had a mentor, SS welfare officer and CAMHS, that he has talked to someone other than me.

We do the breathing thing, he has to 'blow out the birthday candles'.

I've been really calm recently when dealing with him but this morning I had just had enough and shouted at him.

Poor little sod, having a shit time at school and a screeching harridan for a mother at home.

Brian, DD will be starting to form her own opinions about her father. Just keep on being her rock, it's all you can do.

Coffee sounds good saf. Luckily this is the old shonky coffee table, the replacement is in the cupboard still waiting to be assembled.

this range are really good sad angry lonely etc

bitter - don't beat yourself up it is so hard trying to deal with their emotions when they're not old enough to explain how they feel really

It's OK for him to know there are still boundaries Bitter. In fact he will need it. To know that however great his rage, you can contain it, and still be there. Like swallowing bombs in cartoons.

Thankyou. You are all very wise.

thanks saf - dp has just texted him that he will be phoning her tonight to explain.

Yeah, a sort of last thought from me Bitter, you probably already do, but make sure he knows it is normal and OK to feel angry and hurt, that they are normal feelings. The books help to do that. Feeling guilty can also be a heavy burden for them.

Oh, and DS used to draw some quite graphically horrible drawings of how he felt and the revenge he'd like to take. Often involved sharp stabby rocks and daggers