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Original poster

Wanna quit smoking? Come and Join us!

321 replies

charliecat · 01/09/2005 16:24

Theres a few quitters here.
Im charliecat and have been fag free for about 9 months after a good couple of years of trying.
Come and chat your smoking fears away!

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guiltridden · 09/09/2005 20:49

Must have been having a slightly mad moment, within the hour I had thrown a bottle of Mr Muscle at dd1 and she has 3 big red lovebite looking marks on her neck. I didnt mean to damage her of course, but i did[bad bad mummy] guilt guilt guilt. Neither of my kids have been listening to me for the past few weeks and they really have been taking the piss recently, along with a lack of sleep due to one or the other kids getting up in the middle of the night and trying to cause an arguement...Ohhhhanyway, no excuses, steer clear of me when in Mr Muscling

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 21:01

GR is me btw and to top it off my mum is having her tommorow for the afternoon and they are going out to a farm show thingy...Oh Sweetheart, how did that happen...My mummy threw a bottle of Mr Muscle at me... Poor bloody child.
Do all parents flip once a year or so or is it just me?

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 21:56

Cc aka guiltridden aka leader, I think we all flip from time to time. But best to avoid the Mr. Muscle chucking, eh? What did she do to wind you up? That not listening is a bloody pain isn't it?

As for me, I'm being still more or less ignored by dp. I appear, he disappears. he comes into the lounge when I'm not there etc. etc. It's all reasonably polite now but honestly there's no love

And I'm Sooooo tired ...

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 22:02

Oh man Thats grim, me and dp have went through many many stages of low, many. But we are somehow still here.
I asked her to do her homework, sat on the sofa and patted it and said come on over here, ill help you with that. She said I dont want your help, which put my back up and I said Fine here you go and put her things on the mat. She sat down and fiddled for 5 mins, writing nothing, doing nothing. Shes top of her class, very intellegent and we had done the homework on the bus mentally, she just needed to write it down.
Meanwhile I was clearing the table, i said come on, your wasting your playtime and she said I cant do it, I said You can, weve already done it She started a big wail of I cant..looking genuine to anyone who hadnt known how intelligent she is and how we had already done it and I threw the MM in a strop...which hit her. God.
And that that.

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Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 22:04

I was pissed off with the fact theres many kids who would really like a hand with their homework and they will just get told to go do it themselves...but then I go and ruin the nice parent bit by throwing something at her[shame]

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Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 22:07

Would there be love if you could take away all the stress and worrys? Or is it beyond that?

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 22:57

I can imagine that scenario, cc. Somehow it really gets to you when you're offering something good and they throw it in your face doesn't it? My dd's very uncuddly and it always makes me flinch when I go to cuddle her and she yells 'gerroff me!'

As for love, well, I love dp. I don't know why sometimes because I think he takes me totally for granted, and because I seem to constantly get on his nerves. But I do love him. Up until just lately I'd say he loved me too but now I seriously doubt it. Today it hit me that maybe he's having an affair or at least fancies someone else. Because he's never in the 9 years we've been together been so cold and so distant. It may well be his work stress but I can't help but wonder.

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:03

My dd is not a cuddly dude either, she have mea BIG hug after id assaulted her, but had I asked 10 mins before hand she would have ran off disgusted at the thought of hugging me. Wierd.
Cold and Distant? Is he trying to hide away in a shell away from everything? If I have too much on my mind everything annoys me.
The people we love the most get the worst of us....
Has he the energy/time for an affair? If he fancied someone else he would maybe be nicer to you in a guilty way? Can you ask him?
What usually gets him to talk/listen?

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Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:04

gave me a big hug thats was meant to be

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:08

My dd likes to give hugs but doesn't like getting them much. When she's really upset it's awful, I long to wrap my arms around her but she just bats them away until she's ready to come to me.

The truth is, dp probably doesn't have time for an affair. It's just that I can't understand why he's being SO distant from me.

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:10

Shutting down because of all the stress? Ask him if its really you?

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:11

The thing is, dp works loads at the best of times. If I get to spend one evening a week with him it's a treat. So I'm used to that. Although I hate it of course. I would so love to just hang out with him sometimes. He's probably the least relaxed man I've ever known and so for him to be even MORE stressed than usual is saying something.

The only way I can engage him in a conversation is talking about his work. Today I got cross with him (briefly, I daren't push him at all right now) because he's not remembering dd starting playgroup on Monday. Ok, it's not earth-shattering news but in her life it's enormous news and in mine it's pretty major too. He just has no space ot think about it.

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:12

Pin him to the bed for a massage? And get a chat in there too?

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:12

Yes, shutting down because of stress, I'm sure that's part of what's happening. But I'm not able to help him, I'm like an extra burden, a guilt, he can't think about me.

mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:14

I'd love to, cc. I suggested a massage the other day. But he daren't stop working, and if I interrupt him he explodes. If I wait until he comes to bed it's way too late for me as I always get up with dd in the morning and I can't start massaging him at 1am!

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:14

OmG sounds bloody awful MLL. Really sad.
Is there a break to the stress, a holiday, a weekend off or anything?

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Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:15

Maybe just say to hi you still love him and cant wait till hes yours again but your quite happy to wait? Ease the burden?

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:15

And now my fluffy kitten I am off to bed. I only slept 3 hours last night, worrying about all this and especially about dd's first day at playgroup on Monday. I think because dp's so distant dd and I have kind of gelled together like glue.

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:16

well thats got to better than battering her with your cleaning products xx

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:16

I do do that, cc, I've been doing it for months but there's just no end to it and I'm tired and desperate for a break now. Nope, no holiday. The deadline is end of November. That's what i'm waiting for, to see if things get better then.

Original poster
charliecat · 09/09/2005 23:16

Sleep Tight xxx

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mummylonglegs · 09/09/2005 23:17

I know, and Mr Muscle doesn't even work on those stubborn stains ...

dropinthe · 10/09/2005 14:12

MLL-Sorry to hear about the stress you and dp are under and how its taking its toll! You sound like you are battling this thing alone-call me to chat whenever you want,eh?

mummylonglegs · 10/09/2005 18:23

Thanks drop. I don't think there's much that talking about it can do at the moment. I know how I feel and I know what I want to happen. It's up to dp really. I'm vaguely planning on trying to chat with him again tonight if he's got a minute he's not bloody working that is!

Original poster
charliecat · 11/09/2005 09:35

Hope you managed to grab him for a chat MLL
My mum went to visit the woman whos got mouth cancer the other night, she cant speak as she has no tongue, shes got an oxygen mask on and she cant get out of bed for all the wires. Shes just waiting to die. My mum told me all this while smoking a fag

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