*TAMOXIFEN* the 5th

[MaryAnnSingleton]

in case we forget and find ourselves at 1000 - here's a fresh new thread !

Hi all - I am guessing MAS must be having a holiday - hope she's having a good time.

Sorry about ongoing problems with DD Cakes - I think you might be right, - some sort of reaction coming out to your illness. Maybe she just needs to work through it all in her mind, children often express their fears and worries as aggression IME.

DS went through a very bad time behaviour wise when I was ill for quite a long time when he was about 12, and also after I'd been in hospital with an ectopic pregnancy when he was 3, - when I went for my check up he kept giving me stuff like my hairdryer and saying 'take this with you, you might not come back' - so I'm sure all sorts go on in their heads.

I second the car journey as good for communication SR - my DH and DD are getting on much better since he started driving her back and forth to uni. at the end of term. They are very alike and tended to rub each other up the wrong way!

Hope you are all having a good w/e - its pouring down here, have just come back from shopping with DD, - we had a glass of ginger beer each in a cafe, and it made DD come out in hives - it was very strong and had capsicum in it. - So rather disasterous, she's plastering herself with bendryl cream now!

Am back !! been to Suffolk for a week! was lovely but I realised how my OCD affects everything- however, managed to get a grip and had a jolly time - lots of lovely time spent on beaches,eating nice food, drinking etc !!
will try to catch up on your news but have work to finish urgently ! Have,however,seen the gorgeous pictures of glam KK and equally glam dh - thought about you all and missed our contact- we had intermittent wi-fi connections but not enough to look up mumsnet...

Thanks for all helpful and supportive comments - since she went to her Nan's she has done nothing but phone me so I imagine I am not quite beyond the pale just yet

I shall pick her and nan up later and we'll all go to another agricultural show and kick back together for a while. I too find the car journeys can be good: we shall have plenty of time to get to the nitty gritty soon - we're off to Arran next week. And that's quite a drive with a small kid

Ginger beer can have that much of an effect??!? Poor dd! hope she is better this morning! Horrid to be all itchy and hot.

MAS - welcome back!! A week in Suffolk sounds lovely, it is such a beautiful county. Hope the weather was good and glad that you got a chance to relax and think stuff over. Intermittent WiFi is all you really need on holiday - any morer and it can turn into no holiday at all....

Nice to see you back MAS - Suffolk is lovely I'm glad you had a good time, it always helps to get away from home when you have thinking to do I find

There you are Cakes - she is missing you , my guess as an amateur psychologist is that you are getting the brunt of whatever is bothering her, because she feels completely secure in your love, and knows it is safe to take it out on you.

Arran will be beautiful - have you been before? My parents went there on their honeymoon - and they swapped gifts, Mum gave dad a lovely compass, which he still has on his dressing table, and he gave her a pair of walking boots, which she still has. (although they are very worn)

DD seems OK today - she is an allergic sort of person, and odd things make her break out. It was one of those very strong Ginger Beers in a fancy bottle (quite unpleasant in fact - and I like ginger).

Actually I could write an essay about the whole cafe experience - but I won't bore you, suffice to say one of the rudest waitresses I've ever come across!

That's quite a comforting thought KK, thanks! At least it suggests I am not a crap mother and that's hopeful!

Was it a Crabbies, or a Fentimans? Some of them can be a bit TOO gingery. At least she is on the up now. Unfortunately if you are a bit allergy prone it is all too easy to get some pretty spectacular results from things that seem innocuous.

Do fill us in on the cafe - I like stories about rudeness, they give me a chance to puff myself up and get indignant

We have been to Arran before, yes. DH and I had a week there before dd was born and it was fab. When dd was three we went just for a couple of days: dd fell off a high bar stool and got a big bruise on the head - very embarrassing for us as she told everyone

It was a Fentimans I think cakes (that name def. rings a bell)

Well - the cafe story. We went in for lunch, - had to wait about 20 mins before the waitress caught our eye (although she was taking orders from folk who came in after us).

Eventually she turns up and the convo went

Waitress ' Yes?' (v.aggressive)
KK - Can we have a tuna mayo roll and an egg mayo roll and 2 ginger beers please'
W. (looking pointedly at her watch) - long pause,- 'rolls are finished, you can have bread'
KK - OK we'll have 2 sandwiches please.
W- (looks pointedly at watch again) 'you'll have to wait, we're busy'

(yes we should have left at this point - but we thought we'd only have to wait somewhere else)

15 mins later the 2 poisonous ginger beers arrive, we drink them in desperation, no sign of food.(we are making jokes about how they must be out catching the tuna, waiting for the hen to lay etc. - Seriously it would have been quicker to get the bus home and make our own sandwiches)

10 mins later sandwiches arrive, DD starting to complain of itchiness by now!

W - v. crossly 'which of you is tuna?' plonks the plate down, then plonks DD's down with a another very ostentatious look at her watch.

It was all very bizarre,, but we enjoyed ourselves doing impressions of the waitress afterwards. On the downside as well as DD's hives, - I was violently sick when I got home, and am blaming the tuna sandwich!

what a horrendous waitress KK !
Cakes - we are the mothers of 'onlies' -I think it intensifies things somehow. Ds is mostly sweet but can be quite horrid to me and very scowly (he does it to my mum too- but I think he feels confident that he can be like that safely,because we love them no matter what !) I sometimes think of that' sharper than a serpent's tooth..' quote.
There were squillions of flies and wasps in Suffolk - I got stung on the last evening and we only had out of date antihistamine cream in the car first aid box - however, we did have balsamic vinegar crisps which might've helped,being a wasp strings are alkaline. (I ate them anyway)

by the way, you might be interested in my 'honourable mention' http://blog.evans.co.uk/2010/08/05/t-shirt-competition-winner/ here Mine is the bird in the tree.

tsk -try this...
blog.evans.co.uk/2010/08/05/t-shirt-competition-winner/

Congratulations MAS - very well done, I love your design - it is very clever, but also rather wistful and moving

thank you KK

Well done for the honourable mention

I'd prefer to wear yours, if that means anything!

Did eating crisps help the wasp sting? Might have been better to rub them on the affected part, not sure about the salt though. How's it feeling now? Not huge and hot, I hope.

Thanks for the cafe story KK: at the truly awful waitress, but I think I'd have done what you did and stay to take the p--s. Sorry you were sick though.....

MAS -I think you are right about onlies

wasp sting fine,bit itchy..my mum had an awful reaction once and had to carry an epi pen afterwards- went to de-sensitization and seems ok now- but that thought always crosses my mind !
Thanks for kind words about t shirt
Onlies have lots to recommend them, but there are problems too..ds is a bit of a loner,sometimes it bothers him,but lots of the time he is quite happily self contained.

How I envy you, DD is not remotely self contained - constant input required!! She has a busy day lined up for me: baking, swimming and God knows what else besides!! I think I'd better get started...

We could probably do with a mix of the two - a bit less of a loner your end, a bit more of one at mine.

yep, a bit more of a mix and it'd be perfect ! I do fret about him being on his own (except for right now he is entertaining his 7 yr old girl cousin - he is very good with younger children) but am grateful that he has always found things to do to amuse himself...he does love going out on car journeys with me-not to anywhere in p[articular- just driving around. They are off swimming at my dad's gym with him later and I think cinema tomorrow - not sure if they require my presence - mum is quailing a bit at having a demanding 7 yr old to stay

Tee hee! I quail at having a seven year old as well

On a positive note, she has started eating again (though has abandoned all fruit and veg - oddly for someone who claims to want to be a vegetarian! I'm passing no remark for the time being though, as I figure it's better just to get food in there for now!)

Hope everyone is feeling OK!

Its good she's eating now Cakes - that's a step forward.

I had my first mammogram since DX this morning. I had to walk through the breast clinic to get to the imaging dept. First time I've been there for 2 yrs, and it felt really strange - all my feelings of panic I associate with that department came back for a couple of minutes. Odd. (or maybe normal)

On a lighter note, a friend of mine I hadn't seen for a while called round last night, and said 'I called round in the morning a couple of weeks ago, but your curtains were drawn, so I thought you were dead'

She is slightly bonkers but makes me laugh.

Hope everyone is good today, and everyone on treatment not feeling too grotty.

think that is normal response KK - must really stir up emotions. well done for getting through it
at your friend - that's the kind of thing my mum would say !!

Well done for getting through mammogram in one piece(ish). I think it does stir up all sorts of stuff that's sometimes quite deeply buried. Every time I go near the hospital (which i did today) I eye the blue cancer building very warily.

Saw a very little girl (3? 4?) with most of her hair missing and with a tube up her nose, just walking very matter of factly around the hospital shop with her Dad who had a big bag of chemo meds under his arm I just keep telling myself they often do great things for childhood cancers these days.

Good on your friend KK. You can't really take umbrage when they are baying the moon

Hello Everyone - I'm back from the windy NE and totally lovely it was too. I have marched like a Roman along Hadrian's Wall, splashed in the sea and eaten more ice creams than is possibly sensible. Even camped for 4 nights, so felt vaguely normal.

Haven't had time to read everyone's posts yet, but had to comment on intense offspring Cakes. DS and your DD would get along just fine by the sounds of things.. MAS you'll have to give us tips on how they grow these intense souls. Oh and I agree - your t-shirt's by far my favourite. Really well done on the mention though.

kurri, glad you're through the mammogram. Must have been quite a moment to walk back through the clinic. Do you have to wait for results like Haggis? Seems cruel to me if so. I think at our hospital you find out straight away, though obviously am nowhere near that point yet!

Got to run. Work to do before chemo tomorrow. Glad to see you're all still here though. Will try and read back through posts and catch up later.

welcome back smee - am sure the ice cream can haqve been nothing but beneficial !! Am just passing by briefly as I must get on with some work - back soon xx
hope chemo goes well tomorrow btw smee

Welcome back smee, holiday sounds absolutely fab. I'd love to yomp along Hadrian's Wall - have been to Northumberland a few times but have never seen so much as a brick/stone. Sounds great.

Intense kids are a right royal pain, aren't they? I know they have to just be themselves and we have to support them, but it can make life colourful to say the least!

Good luck with chemo tomorrow, smee! Another one down....

On a happy (and frankly relieved) note, DH and I have just been out and won a pitch! Yay! It's not new work, we have found a new way of fulfilling an existing contract (more technological dontchaknow) - the result is a bit more lucrative, and also more interesting to work on.

that is GOOD news Cakes !! well done both of you x

Ooh good day then Cakes!! Buy yourself something wondrous for tea to celebrate.

Not sure if this will chime or not, but intense child here had a complete breakdown on holiday because he wanted to keep his 'best' chicken pox spot which had scabbed and fallen off, mmm..! He dropped it and it fell down the cracks in the floor boards. He then sobbed for two hours, screamed at me for not taking up the floor and it genuinely was the end of the world. As with your DD, it's always at me. Not sure if this helps, but we've realised that with him it's usually about control - so if he's out of normal routine for example. We were on holiday so he was having fun, but it's as though he needs something to go his way, regardless of how absurd it is. I can reason 'til the cows come home and it makes no odds, it just winds him up further. Maybe with your DD it's the freedom of holidays/ worry about Yr 3 combined? Seems small to us, but to them it's epic.

Better run.

Thanks, bith

Smee your ds does sound remarkably similar to dd. I think with her she is an over achiever - she needs to be doing and learning and being told she is doing well, she can't just BE. And you are right that is a form of control for her. She got herself knackered and overwrought at school, then spent the first week doing a lifeguard course and then just kind of imploded because she was not being asked to DO something but just to relax and be. I think it is just how she is put together we have always tried hard not to put her under pressure to succeed, but we are looking again at the kinds of things we say, and how we say them, in case we are putting too much emphasis on how much we value her doing well. IYSWIM Because actually we aren't too bothered as long as she is happy, healthy and well socialised.

And I am LOVING the scab story