You are never alone with a SHINEY Cult

[bellavita]

.....that's it really, we all help each other in what we way can.

Weight Watchers, Dukan, Lord Ford etc....

Lots of cock healthy eating chat.

Ok, I'm going to tell you what it was. You may all think it's nothing.

I'll put it in context.

He's been depressed for 3 years.

2 years ago I started teacher training elsewhere, he was on ADs and came off them the first week of my course. He didn't tell his therapist or GP or me. He had a breakdown which resulted in me leaving the course to come back and look after him.

He only told me he'd stopped taking them after I'd given up the course, and then told me it was none of my business.

After that he apologised and went back on them and promised never to stop again without discussion.

Fast forward to this June and he stopped taking them without telling me.

Here I am making comments about how well he is, and how few side effects he's suffered since his change of meds. Today I caught him out in a stupid little lie and told him how I couldn't stand his lying to me. So after sitting there sheepishly for half an hour he told me that the reason he's been so well is because he came off his meds and is now better.

I'm pleased he's better. I'm pleased that the stability is real and not just down to the ADs.

But he knew what he did to me when he "thought he was better" before. He knew what I went through and was willing to do that to me again without even warning me it might happen.

Am I stupid to be sad about something that didn't happen.

He is better. He didn't turn into that terrifying monster. It was all fine.

But he chose to risk that without talking to me, or his GP. He didn't warn me.

He chose to play with my life.

He promised me...

Sorry, rambling a bit.

ID, that's what I think. He knows what he put me through. How I supported him, and how he treated me.

He knows what he turns into, but his ego is more important.

He keeps texting and calling, but for once, I don't feel the need to reply.

I feel betrayed

At least I don't have to worry about tipping him over the edge now. At least he'll be able to cope.

Shine, I need all views

He didn't tell me because he wanted to do it and didn't want me to talk him out of it.

Sorry crunchy, cross posted with you earlier Have 2 very nice hands to hold if you want/need them.

I would feel upset about the lying too & I would be hurt by it. Did he say why he lied about it?

Crunchy.

You're not stupid at all. IIRC, he made a deal with you not to just come off them again without discussing things with you, GP and therapist, right?

He hasn't done that. He hasn't done the one thing that he promised he would, knowing how you'd react if he did just stop.

That's not fair on you and you have every right to be angry. He hasn't considered your feelings but, and I say this as someone who sees boths sides........

Do you think that maybe he wanted it to be a surprise? A good surprise, like 'look at me, I'm ok'?

By no means am I trying to remove the gravity from how he has made you feel but do you think he did this with malice? Or do you feel a bit, well daft that he's lied and that you thought his meds were making him better?

Sounds like he is trying to prove a point. He needs to grow up and realise that a relationship is a partnership. In itself it wouldn't be a dealbreaker for me, but (and it is a big but) there has got to be a lot of thought about the future if he makes you feel like this.

Please ignore the following, it is completely selfish;

STUPID FUCKING SWEATY HEAT AND BASTARDING FLYING FUCKING FLIES!

thank you, as you were....

Mouse, that's a nice way of looking at it.

My head hurts. It really hurts.

This comes on the back of three years of him using his depression as a rod to beat me.

Three years of not knowing what I'm coming through the door to. Three years of being taken for granted, giving unconditional support, receiving so little, occasionally being frightened...

I don't know what to do.

I know he doesnt remember a lot of it. But that suddenly seems so convenient.

I agree with the others, it wouldn't mean the end for me either, but that is just me. I kept very quiet when I came off my ADs as I wasn't convinced it would work, but, thankfully, it did & it made for a much relationship once I was off them (I truly believe they did me personally more harm then good) but I wasn't completely honest with DH until I knew I was ok. Not to decieve him but because I had to be certain myself.

I'm not making excuses for your H though Crunchy, if this is just the tip of the iceburg I can understand you being upset.

Alice, what's up?

Just hot Crunchy and wanted to swear about it (DD is very good at copying certain words)

Is there any way you can talk to him and make him see what this has been like for you? Is there any chance he would understand and take it on board?

Crunchy - just take your time to calm down, not at all said in a patronising way, but think about what you want.

If you still want him, and I think that you do, then cool off, let him know that you are doing that, don't let him fester, and see how you feel.

Talk to him when you're ready and take it from there. He needs to understand why you are so upset by his actions.

So tell him.

Jeez, it's depressing here- it has rained all bloody day.

I am hiding General Health- too many gross thread titles. I hope I can still find this though.

BOF - you ok? Why are you hiding?