WOULD ANY OF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT?????

[Flumpybumpy]

My Mother had a DS when she was 15. Back then good Catholic girls DID NOT get pregnant and were basically put into hiding until baby was born. Mum was sent to an unmarried Mothers home to see out the pregnancy and gave birth to aboy. He was taken away immediately (she didn't get a cuddle or a photo) and put up for adoption. He will be 45 this year.

In my position would any of you want to find him??? I nly ask no after all this time as Mum is going back to her hometown and mentioned him and wondered if he was still in the area etc... and this got me to thinking.

I think if it was me I would want to find him.

My biological father left when I was 2. I think i had visits with him for about a year and then he never bothered and still to this day, 20 odd years down the line, I still havent seen him.
I think he's a complete dick wad because of what he put my mum through but at the very basic end of the day, he is the reason I am stood here now so curiosity gets the better of me.
I just want to know what he looks like and I suppose find out why I am who I am iyswim.

I know a mother child bond is totally different but I can understand what your mum must be thinking.
It must be even harder for her knowing her child is out there somewhere probably with his own family.

I really think you should try and be honest with your mum about how you feel. This man was her first love and you never forget them. ( I still dream about mine.) But this man is your natural father, rather than your Dad, and you will be full of mixed feelings. If it helps I will tell you my situation. I have never had a relationship with my father as I was put in care and I saw him once for 5 minutes purely by chance. I refused to speak to him and regretted it for a long time. I was 18-19 then. When I was 32 he rang me as my Nan was dying. (I had been in touch with her for years) We had a couple of chats and all seemed good. My husband wrote to him and I later had strong words with him and now we have no contact at all, and I doubt we ever will. Having the chats hasn't made a hue difference except now my father is no longer on the pedestal he was on for many years.
I have rather waffled on there and I am not sure if you can read between the lines and see how it might fit in making your decision.

huge difference...

I can completely understand your need to make contact, but this really has to be her son's decision, not yours or your Mum's.

My DH is adopted and has no desire to find his biological parents for all sorts of reasons. The main one however is respect for his adoptive parents, who he knows would be devastated if he went looking. He feels he is who he is because of the fantastic way he was brought up, not because of his unknown genetics.
By law (rightly so imho) the decision to make contact is his and his alone. If someone came looking for him it would cause a huge amount of hurt and distress to his wonderful mum and would bring back all the pain she went through to be in a situation where she had to adopt.