You know you're really Irish when...

[Gossipyfishwife]

...you tell the barman to put the change in the poor box.

A baby is a wee dote and you can be desperate if you're doing something a lot. Eg desperate for buying too much chocolate.

Weather closes in. Everything is wee!!

Dish cloth/floor cloth round that back of the bare legs stung like hell.

We have steeks where I live think they're the same as chavs?

He/she was scundered - embaressed

That wayne looks foundered without his hat. Poor littled child looks very cold

Loads more too

As a child I can recall being told "I'll send yer to Biddy the Knacker woman" or " I'll streel yer the length of the house".

I was well behaved and fancied neither of these prospects

The realisation that not everyone greets folk with hows yer mammy,how's yer da.
Jesus,mary and Joseph isn't punctuation.some folk think it's swearie
Stuffing a £10 In The hand hand of new mother saying fir the baby isn't routine

Sangwitches for the men. Roaring at that one!

Time is measured in donkeys years

The pigs of Ballynoname leave marmalade on the door handles

You have soda farls with your cooked breakfast

Relations over from Ireland getting in a taxi at Paddington and telling the driver to take them to the O'Reilleys of Kilburn.

Guess who's dead?

Second the "quare stretch in the evenings" :)

Desperate!

All children referred to as 'the child'

'Sure i was after ringing to see if the child is any better?'
'Yes a bit, hes some calpol now and something to eat'
'Ah desperate. Please god'

Lmao the guess who's dead is so true.
I was in the shower this morning and ds (10) shouting through the door to me 'that was granda on the phone. He says you've to make sure to ring aunty x and tell her mrs x is dead. Heaven forbid that anyone should miss being at a wake.

It's 6 o'clock and not a child in the house washed

That auld biddy down the road.

Knickknacknoo.

Mum having absolutely no sympathy for me when I couldn't find something if it transpired that I had not yet said a prayer to St Anthony.

My American husband refers to "Catholic school". We just call it school.

Moving to England and finding out about combi boilers and NO HOTPRESS (or immersion, for that matter).

We were banned from saying 'Jesus Christ' but when my Mum was shouting 'Jesus, Mary and Joseph' at us that was okay because she was saying a prayer apparently!

My heart is also frequently scalded by the dc.
I go out on a Saturday morning shopping, just to get my head showered.
We once went to Paris and came home remarking, we didn't meet a one we knew. (Having generally ran into someone who knew us or someone in common in ALL of these places: various parts of the USA, Rome, Turkey, Greece, various parts of Spain.
It unnerves me the way other nationalities don't know each other!

Im not Irish (I have one Italian parent) and i remember hiding from the priest whenever i saw him in town once id stopped going to Mass.
Darting into Woolworths or John Menzies.

Getting on the bus and saying a general 'hello' to everybody on it, combined with nodding at people as you go to sit down.

I once did this on the tube, on a visit to London. Guess how well that went down?

Wheelie there are a couple of Irish blokes who drink in a pub in our town centre in Essex. They are always polite and cheerful and friendly.

Quote from Dave Allen. "The kindest thing you can do for an Englishman is not to talk to him...loudly or otherwise!

Being out for drinks and making sure the next one is in before halfway down the previous round.

'The Lord between us!' as an exclamation (sometimes finished with 'and all harm'
If I was being particularly stupid I was acting the goat or being an amadan however you spell it!