Overheard a rant on the bus.What ‘bastard’ things will you not have in your garden.

[florentina1]

A man behind me yesterday was ranting to his friend about “bastard lupins”Apparently his wife loves them, he hate them, and they are coming up everywhere. He was really funny, almost worthy of his own stand up routine.

For me it is fuchsia. Gladioli, hanging baskets and anything with slogans.

Argh, was trying to reply to @BernardsarenotalwaysSaints about nasturtiums.

So do I, they really are lovely but they were HUGE 😂.

hmmm, yes if they planted it in the ground it’s really difficult, especially rhe invasive type.

I love it in pots as it’s hardy down to minus 20 and most are evergreen., plus it’s super impactful and not to expensive to buy.

Pyracantha , the old wood is like barbed wire.

Gnomes. And fucking wind chimes.

I really dislike hydrangeas.

Bastard cabbage (and other brasicas). Dh insists on growing it each year, even though he knows if a caterpillar even looks at I put it in the livestock fodder bucket. Every year he is "disappointed" that I "waste" so much, because I am too squeamish to flick out the grubs from my food. 🤮

Ornamental rhubarb is horrible, my husband really likes it , I honestly think it’s ugly as sin, but am stuck with it. I don’t even think real rhubarb is that pretty, why the fuck anyone would want the ornamental stuff beats me.

I've tried multiple times to grow hydrangeas and they just die away really quickly. Everyone else in a mile radius has a big beautiful hydrangea and mine just won't take.
May as well plant the £20 notes straight into the soil.

I hate marigolds. I love geraniums, have loads in pots all over the garden - it looks like a French village in the summer!!

My mother in law does this. It drives me mental. Looks like litter.

She likes to help in our garden which is very welcome but she makes no attempt to prop plants discreetly. The prop is usually 3x bigger than the plant and quite often tied with luminous string.

I was gonna get some agapanthus but they’re a bit expensive, so good to know that target do spread 😂

My favourite plant.

Geraniums and marigolds, hate them! I love lupins, even though the aphids love them too

The weeds from my ndn, their garden is like a rubbish tip, rats under their decking and shed last year pissed me off too.!

Mine died during the winter 😢

I'm with you on bastard fuschias, not sure what it is, the awful 80s lipstick colours maybe? Had a massive one here when we moved in, tolerated it for a year or two but then realised I didn't actually have to ... fuschia freedom!
Bastard mint will not seem to bastard grow in my garden sadly as I love it.

Wow this unleashed a torrent I love the abuse ‘gentle’ gardeners chuck around

Trampolines.

Same here!

I don’t know what I’m doing to them, but they just don’t grow.

My neighbour has a huge one in his back garden that he only planted a couple of years ago and I love it but mine just die.

I also can’t grow sweet peas for some reason. Everyone else seems to manage but mine grow to about 6 inches then die.

Good to know, I have a bed full of it (self-seeded? I’ve no idea where it came from) that I want to remove, but the bees love it so I’m waiting until more things flower elsewhere before I pull this up.

Holly. I know birds love them but I've spent 50 years over various properties being attacked by the fallen leaves when weeding, usually causing bloodshed. They aren't even mine 😡

Seed potatoes. A "friend" gave me 3 and now they own the garden.

Not a fan of lupins, red hot pokers, fuschias. I don't like hyacinths in a garden though, illogically, I love them as house plants (while flowering).

I come from a family of gardeners

My attitude to gardening is 'stick it in a tub and pray for the best'

Oddly it seems to work-nothings died

I love lilies and roses-when we moved into our house,I insisted that we grow both

So we trotted off to the garden centre,where I spotted the most beautiful PINK lily

I asked dp to grab one and I'd meet him outside as I wanted to have a look at something else

Off I go-buying what I wanted via the exit and he comes striding towards me

Cluching his ORANGE lily (they where next to each other)
.
His reasoning?

He likes orange

We where in a rush so we brought it home and shoved it in a pot

The bloody thing refuses to die,so for the last 7 years I have to see it bloom beautifully while grieving for my lost pink one

I know I could just find another one,but that would mean buying another tub,compost and the effort of finding it to plant and I'm too lazy

@Mistymoonsinastarrysky do you want some more? I can’t kill the bastards off!