End of Year 13: Results, Summer and plans for September and onwards

[Rollergirl11]

Noticed the current thread is almost full so thought I better start a new one for discussing results day and our DC’s plans for uni/gap years or anything else!

Well I spoke too soon with saying DD was fairly unstressed.

Tonight at our dinner out to celebrate her going to university she had a meltdown effectively (autistic) as was upset with me over a small thing that was the straw that broke the camel’s back in terms of all the changes she’s had in the last month. She was very angry, I got angry, DH got angry, bad things were said, it was all awful. Ended with her saying she’s never going to speak to us again.

We’re supposed to drive her down tomorrow.

@WriterOfWrongs aw so sorry to hear this. Hoping she's better today and will be able to show you some love today. Been several bitter exchanges here too, it's a tightrope. Good luck with the trip.

@WriterOfWrongs - so sorry to hear that. It's such an overwhelming time. I hope a night's sleep has helped and that move in day goes smoothly.

DS still has two weeks at home but my best friend's son goes today and a few of DS's friends have gone already. It's a strange limbo time.

We still have a few minor bits to get but otherwise ready. No-one is talking about it in our house. We don't want to make it real! DH is getting quieter and quieter (it's how he deals with being upset or anxious) and DS is similar so we're a very quiet house right now! Luckily dd and her crazy busy life is keeping us occupied.

Good luck to everyone moving DC this weekend. We have a week to go and DD just beginning to start sorting everything - shopping, pre enrolment, module choices, railcard, prescriptions etc etc etc 😬

@WriterOfWrongs
I hope everything settles and you can all have a good day and leave each other on good terms

(I remember falling out with DD on the way to drop her at the coach for a school trip. She stomped off without saying goodbye and that was bad enough.)

Hope things are better today Writers and the drive goes OK and she settles OK.

Thanks MrsAvocet Hope the move down goes well. Allergies think it's fine to say whatever needed in whatever form though student cleaning tends be rather lacking in some cases.

DD is getting a bit antsy here and a both very excited about starting but also a can't wait, won't wait 3 weeks left feeling. Think it's a bit odd everyone leaving before her especially her boyfriend. She's out socialising a lot but a bit snipey in conversations though only for a minute then reverts to being lovely and chatty and tbf I am similar with operation looming.

DD is out working today and then go to Dunelm together getting things for university and lots of fleece.

DH and I are zooming down the M5 at the moment on the way to Bristol with DDs belongings. Will be nice to see her (and feels like longer than 6 days since I did 😃)

@WriterOfWrongs hope you have a smooth journey today and things have improved since yesterday.

@Penguinsa Hope all goes well with your op this week.

@MrsAvocet I think if he has talked to them first then putting a reminder notice up is very sensible.

My DS is not planning on doing any cooking really, they don't have much in the way of facilities (a very small room with a microwave and a couple of hobs) and they have a canteen which is subsidized by a charge everybody has to pay so I expect he will eat there all the time!

@WriterOfWrongs adding to the messages hoping today is a brighter day for you both. High tensions are inevitable at times of such change.

@MrsAvocet that’s a really tricky one. I think mine if in the same situation would be reticent to draw too much attention to themselves but appreciate it’s an important message to get across in the first few days. Do the accommodation office have suggestions around how students usually manage this?

DS dropped for Y3. The flat he’s sharing with mates blew us away. It’s right in the city centre and enormous. Think he’s going to be very happy. 😊

We are slowly wending our way 450 miles home, stopping in Yorkshire for lunch.

DDs turn next weekend - railcard almost sorted after a debacle involving an incorrectly inputted email address (that’ll learn her…), induction done, accommodation first payment made, and registered with campus GP. Most of her stuff bought, although she still needs some more jeans and sports wear.

I've got a couple of severe food allergies. Personally I wouldn't put a notice up as I think people might be a bit 🙄🙄🙄. Obviously he'll need to be careful of food left around / used chopping boards etc though.

Yes, I think however clear the signs are, he won't really be able to rely on his flatmates to understand and remember, so will have to be ultra careful and therefore not much point in the signs?

It's a tough one though. If the kitchen is big enough maybe he could have his own little prep area and people just need to know not to borrow his stuff?

Also @MrsAvocet I would get him to tell the flatmates what to do if he does have a reaction and needs help, where to find his epipen if he has one and what to do with it etc.

Yes, he's saved some out of date EpiPens so he can show his flatmates how they work, just in case.
DS is used to being around foods he is allergic to - we've never attempted to keep him in "free from" environments. He's had a part time job for 3 years in a bakers that uses all his allergens without any incident but of course they understand food hygiene and cross contamination very well. A bunch of teenage boys away from home for the first time may possibly be a bit less fastidious! It's things like people borrowing his stuff and not cleaning it properly, or dipping a knife that's previously been used for peanut butter or something into his dairy free spread that worries me.
I've got him a couple of plastic containers to put his fridge stuff in in the hope that it discourages people from "borrowing" his food as aside from the cross contamination issue, free from stuff tends to be a lot more expensive.
Anyway, he's got an amazing birthday cake to share with them all tomorrow which his boss at work kindly made specially for the occasion so that will hopefully be a good ice breaker and a way to introduce the issue of his dietary restrictions.

Thank you all x

DD apologised. (In fact there was a round of apologies…)

I gave her the university survival kit I’d made for her. She was appreciative

We are in the car on the way, making a pit stop at a supermarket to get various things. Fortunately DH asked DD if she’d remembered her toothbrush, because she hadn’t of course

Glad to hear that @WriterofWrongs a nd hope the rest of the move goes smoothly.

Great news @WriterOfWrongs, hope you all have a lovely day.

I think @MrsAvocet the simplest thing would be "sorry I can't share any food or cutlery / crockery / utensils so I'll keep everything in this or that box and keep your sticky mitts off" 🙂

@stoneysongs you’ve inspired me to wonder whether there are sticky-notes in the shape of mitts that one can use to tell others to keep their sticky mitts of one’s things (can you tell I have ADHD? )

@MrsAvocet The containers in the fridge are a great idea. My eldest doesnt have allergies, but the containers for her food, shes got a marker and put her name on and over the past 4 years it seemed to work and no-ones touched her stuff. @Penguinsa hope all goes well with the op this week. @WriterOfWrongs thats good that shes apologised. Its such a whole range of emotions starting uni but glad shes put that right with you and the family. @SooperOuting and @MirandaWest glad the moves went well.

DD2 has got her student card on Friday, and also a years bus pass to campus and back. Off out clubbing tomorrow with her new zoo biology friends who have moved in on campus halls yesterday. DD1 starts her induction on Thursday for her phd.

On the way back from Bristol to York - is a low way to travel in a day! DD all safely moved in and seems fine. I put her sheets on the bed for her and we got her various things in Asda but left her doing some room organisation. She has already met some of her flatmates last week so hoping all goes well.

Their kitchen is lovely and has a dishwasher!

Am feeling a little flat now - we picked her up from where she was staying and took her along to the actual accommodation and she left her hairbrush in the car.

DS going back for 2nd year on Monday and is driving himself. House will feel very quiet then. And last year DS was back quite a bit but DD is unlikely to be at all until Christmas. We will go and visit at some point 😊

@MirandaWest I relate to that flat feeling. Both are at uni and although its been a week since the youngest has been living at her student halls, its very strange.

Good luck to everyone going today!

We're on the M6 in awful weather. Hoping it improves a bit before we get there and start unpacking!
Very quiet in the car, I don't think anyone slept well last night.

DS left his AirPods in the car 🙄. He’s flying back next month for a friends 21st so can do without until then. He had a banging night last night, met up with loads of friends he’s not seen since May and is very happy.

Just got to get DD motivated to start packing her clothes. Have mountains of washing to get through and have booked a hotel for Friday night at DDs request.

DD left her hairbrush in tne car. She said she can get another one but it has made me feel inexplicably sad 😳

Probably doesn’t help I am rather tired and am having to work this morning as no one would swop with me