End of Year 13: Results, Summer and plans for September and onwards

[Rollergirl11]

Noticed the current thread is almost full so thought I better start a new one for discussing results day and our DC’s plans for uni/gap years or anything else!

@WriterOfWrongs Youngest Daughter will be a fresher, but she took a gap year. She went to Reading last year. Lasted a week and got homesick and came home. This time its half an hour drive away from us, and a 40 min bus ride to her campus which is in the countryside in the opposite direction. She could have stayed at home, but it would be a 2 and a half hour 3 bus journey. And shes been with her boyfriend for 18 months long distance now, so they have made the leap and moved in together in a student studio. He is at the local college doing a mechanics course. Both same age at 19 years old. Saw your post about DS and Oxford. My eldest DD whos 23 now, she applied (went to Lancaster in the end). She did the UNIQ summer school at Oxford end of year 12. And got as far as interview stage in her application.

@TenSheds thank you, yes its much better, although i have a partial denture now, which is taking some getting used to. Eldest DD also added an iron and I think she used it twice in the whole four years she was there lol. She has still got it, so will come in handy for meetings with her phd fellows.

@SooperOuting The meal was lovely thank you :) we went to las iguanas last night and managed to have chicken fajitas. First time meeting the boyfriends parents and his younger sister and they were lovely. Glad to hear son is getting a bit better :)

congrats on your new job @Rollergirl11 and @Penguinsa 🙂

@QueenMabby it will be circuit laundry at Lancaster and I remember there was some videos on how to use it, so they might come in handy :) https://www.circuit.co.uk/help-support/video-guide/

The first of DS's friends headed off on Saturday with others following over the next fortnight. He's been a bit wistful but will have a few friends still in the town who are taking gap years, including two who decided at the last minute to defer. There's a night out planned on Tuesday for most of his friendship group, which he's looking forward to. It was hard for him going back to school take year 13 again this week but he's handling it well so far, although chose not to have the school photo which made me feel sad but I bit my tongue...

The summer - despite being a longer break than usual - has flown by. Wishing your DCs the best of luck & I hope to pick up tips for DS for next year.

Thanks @sammyjoanne - I've sent that link to my ds.

@legosnowqueen - I hope your dd is not feeling too down about it not being his year to go to uni. The daughter of a friend of mine went down a year in year 10 as she'd been ill for several months and she admits it's hard seeing her former year group getting ready to head off. At least your ds has a couple of friends still around.

We've had the first 19th birthday in DS's friend group! There was a big night out last night and ds rolled in rather drunk at 3am. He's only really started drinking alcohol in the last few months and obviously needs to learn some lessons in pacing! Today he learnt how to deal with a monster hangover...

Got DD moved in yesterday. Both of us were absolutely knackered after getting all her stuff up five flights of stairs but we did it! She seems to be settling in ok and getting to know a few people. She was also very happy to discover that they have two bathrooms between four, as she was a bit worried about sharing but decided to go with the cheaper option.

@QueenMabby I think there will inevitably be trigger points where he feels sad that he's not where he should be...in some ways it will be easier when his mates have all gone & we've discussed that he wouldn't be seeing them much anyway from September if all had gone to plan. If he can get through the next two terms by keeping his head down & cracking on, when he gets to uni he will realise that many students have had gap years etc so no one will care that he's 19 not 18...but hard for him to think that now. As you say, there are a few friends still here which will help. & he may make some new friends! Of course he is still coming to terms with not being able drive, play contact sports, or party hard, which is all taking time to get used to. He was very anxious in the first few months about becoming seriously ill again, & has definitely got past that, which is good.

Stage one of moving DD in to Bristol is done - involved a round trip of over 400 miles today (she did do the drive there 😊) as she’s staying with a friend of the family this week as it is freshers’ week and her accommodation not ready until next Saturday….

She was going to a board games and pizza event this evening and I’ve seen her instagram story has a nice picture of pretty lights and two other people so am presuming that worked 😊

Then next Saturday DH and I get to take her belongings down to where she will actually be living!

@legosnowqueen Not quite the same situation but my elder son took a year off between A levels and starting University for health reasons and I know he felt quite sad when most of his friends left to start term so I can relate to what you're saying.
I can confirm that once DS1 did get to University nobody gave two hoots that he was 19 when he started (I doubt many even asked to be honest). It feels like a big deal for them initially and I know my DS worried about being "left behind" but he now realises that in the great scheme of things a year is nothing and that he's not actually that unusual anyway as there are students of many different ages and backgrounds. Hopefully your DS will have a similar experience. It must be very frustrating for him at the moment but hopefully all will turn out well in the end.

@MirandaWest It’s ridiculous that she can’t move in to her accommodation until the end of freshers week. I hope she has a great week despite that. Good luck to her!

@MrsAvocet thank you, glad it worked out for your DS & I'm sure it will be same, at that point everyone is looking forward not backwards. There are some benefits being a bit older (& wiser?) when going too.

@MirandaWest very poor about the accommodation not being ready but sounds as if your DD is taking it in her stride.

@PumpkinKnitter Glad all has gone well with the move. With the eldest she was in a townhouse at Lancaster halls and they shared 2 bathrooms between 4 and its barely noticable. She shared her bathroom with one girl, and the other two shared the other bathroom; with the proviso that if your bathroom was being used, you can use the second bathroom. It seems to work pretty well and there was never any queue's.

Feel like I've fallen off the thread a bit but I have been lurking and it's lovely to read everyone's news. All the best to those who have moved their young people already or who are moving very soon! Also wishing @legosnowqueen DS all the best as he starts year13.

DS doesn't start until October so still seems to be in holiday mode though he is slowly (with a fair amount of encouragement/guidance/nagging) working his way through all the admin stuff that needs doing before he starts. He has some software from his DSA award so I'm hoping he can get that all installed on his laptop this week. He has some online training on it next week.

He has found out what room he will be in and I think it will be nice, quite a lot bigger than his room at home!

Thanks Writers Good your younger DS is thinking ahead and good luck with the plans.

That care box sounds lovely Rollergirl and hope the new job goes well.

Hope your DS enjoys Tuesday Lego

DDs boyfriend now at Bristol, his parents took him out and all the rest of the housemates had gone out without him. Luckily he knows others already and is very social so went out with them instead. DD still has 4 weeks to go though she says it now means its much easier to get shifts at work as a lot of others are back at university or back at school though the pay is weather dependent but guaranteed a minimum amount anyway and she enjoys it. She went out with friends tonight and out again at the weekend.

I got a call re an earlier date for surgery today so all going well (third time lucky) its on 17th September and go in for marking on 16th.

@legosnowqueen good to hear the stress about getting ill again is subsiding, as that can be the most damaging thing. When DS was gravely ill in Y9 really nothing else mattered. He is very gung-ho these days, but it’s taken me longer not to worry.

It must be v tough seeing your mates departing, and not being able to party and do sports.

The positive I take from what happened to my DS is the resilience it builds, which can be lacking in their generation. As much as we want a clear path for them through life, it doesn’t build the skills they need to navigate the world successfully.

My DS is back to no sports again for a year following ACL surgery, which he is already finding frustrating a few weeks in. 🙄

I’m rambling - but feeling a lot of empathy/sympathy for your situation. x

DC now been away nearly two weeks! I would suggest that everyone gets their DC to check the laundrette works properly BEFORE they run out of clothes. DC has the Circuit(?) system and couldn’t get it to work. In the end they got an engineer out who fixed it, but it took three days. It’s brilliant, but a pain if it doesn’t work.

Keeping everything crossed that it goes according to plan next week @Penguinsa

Thank you @IThinkIMadeItWorse @Penguinsa @SooperOuting

@SooperOuting I agree about the resilience. Sorry to read about your DS, still very young in year 9. My DH had the ACL surgery a few years ago & it is a long recovery time, so I sympathise.

@Penguinsa fingers crossed it all goes to plan next week. You have a lot going on!

Giggling at @Neveragainisaid update - reminds me that I must start to teach DS those domestic skills that I failed to cover off this past year!

Good luck for next week @Penguinsa ! Doing the household training here. Ds has gone from happy excitement to grumpy anxiety - no packing done either. Poor sausage!

Thanks Tensheds Lego and Aramox

DDs friends all seem to be leaving for university soon or have left and her room still looks like there's stuff all over it. She doesn't seem to be working much, no signs of reading anything but seems to be doing an impressive amount of socialising still. Was in Venice with a friend last week then saw boyfriend before he left next day then worked a day then been out with friends to the pub, then all day out with friends and going to some Formula One event with a friend this weekend and one day's work. 3.5 weeks to go.

Hope its going well for those already at university.

How's everyone with a drop off at the weekend feeling?
We're going on Sunday and as yet no huge evidence of DS doing any packing! He's also done a lot of socialising over the last few weeks. A couple of friends have had birthdays plus he has a number of different friendship groups - school, 2 sports, work - and has wanted to say goodbye to them all. Plus he was working up until Wednesday so I guess tomorrow is going to be a bit manic! We'll have to go up again I a few weeks anyway as there's no way he can fit everything I the car in one day as he has bulky sports kit that takes up loads of space so it will be that, clothes and domestic stuff. Guitars, amps and bikes will need another journey. It's only a couple of hours drive and a good excuse to visit so I am not complaining really!
We had school Prize Giving this week which I found lovely and sad in equal measures. We've been to almost every one since 2010 and it really hit me that school days are actually over now. I think the fact that last year's Year 13 were in normal clothes and everyone else getting prizes was in uniform made them suddenly look like grown ups and accentuated that they're not pupils any more. I confess to a bit of a sniffle when DS collected his prizes. But it was nice to have one last school event and several of his longstanding friends were also prize winners.
Hope everyone else is bearing up, and good luck with the operation @Penguinsa - hopefully no hitches this time.

Still 12 days to go here, and she's not getting ready yet... first friends are off today and tomorrow...

I've never been that emotional for the other two, but this one being the last is a bit different... dh is definitely not looking forward to it and this is the first one we'll both take (as someone had to stay home with the schoolgoers before).

DH and I will be off early tomorrow for the second round trip to Bristol in less than a week, but this time we will have DD's things. I had lots of messages from her yesterday - she seems to be having a great time which I am very happy about. She met up with most of her flat mates yesterday and said they were lovely so hopefully will have a good time when they all move in to their real accomodation.

She's been doing lots of things and I think very proactive about it all. And there's been some academic things too. If it weren't for Bristol being so far away there's something I quite like about the gentle parting.

“The gentle parting” would be a good name for a parenting book about children leaving home @MirandaWest

Meanwhile here, as tomorrow’s departure approaches, DD is admirably (and surprisingly) fairly unstressed and her spirits are almost as high as the pile of boxes in our house.

There was a little bit of stress the another night though. DD washed her new bedding and hung it up on the drying rack, with the duvet covers hanging slightly on the floor (not how I’d have done it but I daren’t criticise over the event…) DDog uncharacteristically did a wee on them. Perhaps it was a dirty protest at DD being about to move away

Can I have a bit of advice? DS has multiple food allergies and whilst I know he is very sensible and manages his diet well, it's going to be the first time he's living with anyone outside the family and I'm a bit worried about him sharing cooking facilities. I was thinking he should maybe put a note up in the kitchen along the lines of "Hi everyone, I'm allergic to X,Y and Z so if you're cooking with any of these things please can you be extra careful to clean up afterwards to reduce the risk of cross contamination. Thanks, Avocet Junior".
Obviously he'll talk to his flatmates too, but I think it's unreasonable to expect them all to remember, so a visual reminder would be helpful. DH thinks it looks too formal and a bit officious, DS is ambivalent.
What do you think? If your DC were sharing with a student with allergies do you think they'd think think this was reasonable or that their new flatmate was a weirdo? He doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot, but I think the people he's sharing with need to know about his allergies from day 1 to minimise the risks.
The accomodation office are aware, so I suppose it's possible they'll have put students with allergies together, but they haven't said so so we'll have to wait and see.

That sounds really reasonable re food.
We have a drop off at the weekend. Feels strange! Ds has packed a bit. He has a timetable and names of tutors. Long drive for us so I expect all feelings will be consumed by motorway stress.

@MrsAvocet I think WoWJr would appreciate the visual reminder. But I also see the argument that it looks officious. I suggest he speaks to them all first and say look it’s a pain sorry I have to ask that you take certain precautions, and I don’t expect you to remember every time, so is it ok if I put up a sign.