End of Year 13: Results, Summer and plans for September and onwards

[Rollergirl11]

Noticed the current thread is almost full so thought I better start a new one for discussing results day and our DC’s plans for uni/gap years or anything else!

DD has a field trip this coming week and is very excited about it. We are going to collect her for the Easter holidays on Saturday - she has about 4 weeks.

DS OTOH doesn’t finish until later and is home for less than 2 weeks…he needs to study for exams, work part time to earn money for all the holidays he’s booked and see his girlfriend. Almost like he has his own life now 😊

Will be lovely to have them both back for a few weeks. I am, however, planning on putting laundry baskets in both of their bedrooms this summer so they can do their own washing! It’s too easy to become a hotel and I’m not anyone’s slave. If they are back for a couple of weeks I’m happy to do washing and most of the cooking, but 3-4 months? Nope.

I've got DS home this weekend for an event but he doesn't finish for Easter for another 2 weeks. He then only has 2 weeks off and exams immediately afterwards so may not be home for all of it. My elder son is busy with his final year project so also won't be home for long over Easter. I'm envious of those of you who will have your DC home for a month or more, but I do get the "hotel" irritation!

DD not having a good time at the moment 😞 her boyfriend had a mental health episode - she was great and got him to hospital. His parents went down as did I and he has now gone back home with them with care from mental health services there. DD has come home with me - she’s not in a great place mentally anyway and this has compounded that. She’s been doing the admin things to get extensions etc.
She's in touch with his parents and I now am too although after brief exchange I’m leaving it for them to contact me if they want to.

DS at Durham has had a good term. Has worked hard and been doing well, and has got involved in some new activities like hiking and a college sport. He says that everything felt more relaxed this term as houses for next year were sorted out last term. Now his housemate group spend lots of time together but also spending time with others too.
He is still up there for another week as involved in a school residential outreach thing through college. And he has 2 week’s paid work over what is a 5 week Easter break.
No new teaching next term - week if tension lectures then some exams and that’s it. I totally see why people choose to live at home if they can and avoid paying 52 week accommodation contracts for 20 weeks of teaching! But he’s like bing his best life and I’m glad he’s getting the chance to do so.
For him, Durham has lived up to expectation and he likes it a lot. Feels challenged and stretched by the course, plus loves being there. He’s looking forward to seeing old school friends too once home. Aren’t they lucky to have 2 lovely lives during this period. It’s a special phase of life.

@MirandaWest I’m very sorry to read this. I hope uni are being accommodating in the circumstances.

Lovely to hear updates from people waves to everyone.

Hugs to your DD @MirandaWest that sounds really tough.
Also to you and your DS @legosnowqueen hope he can find a way through his disappointment about Durham and get excited about his other offers.

DS is now home for about five weeks, he seems very tired but I think that is normal after such an intense term. He hasn't enjoyed the courses this term as much as those in the first term and has a lot of work to do over the Easter break but next year he should be able to start to specialise a bit and hopefully will enjoy the course more. I think his exams are around the beginning of June.

Thanks for all the great support as always…much appreciated. DS’s predicted grades are actually better this year (two A stars plus an A, compared to one A star and two As in 2024). The UCAS form only had a very small drop down field for extenuating circumstances, so although school completed that, they also sent a very detailed direct email to Durham, as suggested by Durham. That was never acknowledged so the first thing we did when DD received the decision was to call & check that it had been received & taken into account. DS was sent a very short email stating it had.

DS has decided not to challenge the decision, & I have to respect that. He’s been pretty low after the recent seizure anyway & it’s a self-protection thing I think. As @Penguinsasaid, we are concerned that if he was to be unwell while there, they may be less sympathetic than other places. Liverpool for example, which is likely to be his insurance, reached out straightaway to ask about any special requirements for accommodation- a sharp contrast. We will visit Manchester soon & if DS likes it I think that will be his firm choice. We are on the other side of the Pennines but it’s relatively quick to reach in an emergency, he also has some friends there, so it would work well logistically.

Edinburgh would be wonderful but he feels it’s a bit too far in case of a health emergency. We actually contemplated renting our house out & moving there for the duration until DS pointed out that his Edinburgh offer is conditional on the family not being resident in Scotland!

Anyway, best to focus now on revision as the exams are scarily close. We also have the small matter of a 19th birthday celebration on Friday!

So sorry to read your update @MirandaWestwhat a difficult time x

Thanks for your update.
I find it really peculiar - higher predicted grades this time round, extenuating circumstances explained and received….and a rejection.

I understand your DS wish to move on from it and not take the matter further. I do wonder if an email to the correct head of dept explaining and querying (rather than going direct to appeal) would help, but I understand why he doesn’t want to do that and that you want to respect his choice.

Reallt sorry this has happened my DS is at Durham and has a friend who has needed a lot of medical help, including surgery and 3 weeks at home. He has had very good support from his college and course. But that doesn’t help you and I can see why they seem extremely uncaring.

Wishing you all the best with his health first of all and A levels and next steps for all of you. Such a tricky position to be in for you all.

On another note, in case it helps at all, another friend of DS who was 3 years older, had severe eating disorder throughout his A levels (including being in a clinic) but somehow got a Cambridge offer but was then unable to go due to being back in his clinic. The place was deferred for the following year, but by the following Sept he was still too unwell to go away. The place was lost but the family decided to focus just on health and getting better and stepped away from the standard timeline for uni. 4 years on and he is in a much better place and will be starting uni near home in September at the age of 22 or 23 I think. He will do his degree and although Plan A didn’t work, the whole family were able to focus on health and knew it could be several years and that was okay….and actually a burden lifted from immediate pressure.

I really hope your DS is able to complete his A Levels and health stabilises and next steps become clearer. But he has your support and the right future will emerge. Wishing you all the very best during such a hard time.

@WombatChocolatethanks & yes we had always thought the college system would be a positive for DS. Durham were very clear when I spoke to admissions that they will only correspond with DS about this (although they acknowledged I have been nominated as a contact) & the appeals process states this too.

DS is not willing to discuss delaying going to university, subject to getting the grades of course. DH & I have privately discussed that it might be safer for him to go to a local university if his epilepsy isn’t being well controlled - school suggested this after the second seizure in December & DS completely rejected the idea. He is desperate to have the same university experience as his friends. We will have to see what the next few months brings. Thanks again for your kind wishes.

Hope your DS has a lovely 19th birthday Lego

I think you can move to Edinburgh as long as do it after 1 August though it's difficult with renting house out with tax on it. Hopefully he can get excited about another choice soon. Glad Liverpool have been kind.

Sorry about your DD and her poor boyfriend Miranda

DD is currently with boyfriend at Bristol University in-between masses of rowing and coxing. I wasn't sure if they were still together as she had not mentioned him but seems they are. She's back tomorrow and off to a 5 day rowing camp in a week or so time and seems to be rowing in-between as well in London and where we live.

@legosnowqueen My daughter went through this and totally understand the worry of uni as well. My eldest daughter had what's called an SVT episode when she was 16. It's a long name to type but basically it means that the heart gets faster and faster and it wont stop. By the time she was at hospital it was documented at 240 beats per minute and had adenosine to stop and re start the heart and it was a scary time. Shes not had an episode again and has had echocardiagrams and loop monitors for two years till the age of 18 giving her a clean bill of health, but they said its always a possibility of having another one. There was always that 'what if', especially at uni, but she does manage it when her heart races a bit due to learned techniques. It took a little while but as time went on I had to trust her finding her own way, and it also helped her having friends who she trusted. She made it out like its no big deal so people did not act with her with kid gloves.
She was rejected from Oxford back in 2019 and that was her dream uni. But she liked Lancaster a lot and she went back there after being rejected which helped loads. Its so difficult at the time for her working through that process, but it was short lived, and I'm glad she went to Lancaster as it gave her lots of opportunities there and a lot of support and it was the perfect place for her.

@Lightsabre ooh very nice hope you enjoy your holiday :) @MrsAvocet hope your MIL feels better soon and Manchester is great, my eldest DD is there for her PhD and Im just starting to get to know the city. @Neveragainisaid congratulations on the unconditional offer @MsPenguins thats amazing your DD is into rowing. She might become professional :) @Jaxx its a tricky one, but as long as hes doing his work, and passes the first year he should be ok. Come second year it does get all serious so everyone all knuckles down. @space99 enjoy your time with the DS. @SooperOuting I agree on the 4 year course, DD1 completed hers, and DD2 has one with a sandwich year. @QueenMabby glad he is settled at Lancaster. He's fairing a lot more on the lab reports than DD1 did. she was getting 48% on average but was taking time to getting used to the style of them and how they are written.. DD1 had a great first year but bad second year results. So she spoke with the supervisor and head of department of physics and they were superb in helping what her weakness was in exams and how to improve, as well as other maths techniques to achieve an answer faster (as shes slow on the maths). She also arranged meetings with lecturers to discuss anything she was unsure of and things really improved :)

This thread is about to end soon :(

@MirandaWest sorry to hear about DD's B/F. I hop he gets the help he needs and your DD is ok x @IThinkIMadeItWorse thats good hes back for 5 weeks, that should give him lots of time to recharge :) @WombatChocolate hope your DS is enjoying his time at uni

Glad your DDs health has improved Sammy DD says rowing is just for fun but it's all she talks about. She is back from Bristol now spent a day working on the river and will shortly be off to rowing camp. I asked her if that's constant rowing and she said it's three times a day so basically just stop to eat. She added they had asked was anyone a good cook to manage the cooking and apparently she replied yes to that so she is head of food but says she will just instruct the others how to cook meat as she is veggie. Quite surprised she said yes to that, she cooks a bit but not that much. She did jokingly say she will need to do a PhD there so she can get in the university rowing team. Don't think anything like enough academic work is going on for that. 😂She seems to be doing about 5 hours sport everyday from what I can make out and another 5 hours talking and messaging people about it.

12.30am and DD is singing really loudly again, she is in a world of her own. Nice she's happy but some sleep would be nice. She doesn't seem to need much but we do.

How are everyone's DC doing with accomodation plans for next year? DS seems to have fallen on his feet as he's been invited to share with a friend whose parents are buying him a flat. It looks lovely, like a proper home, not a student house has private parking and is only a short walk from University. I'm slightly twitchy about it though as obviously it's a bit different to renting through a University approved landlord like my elder DS has done, but DS is confident it will work out. I think he'll be a very easy person to live with. His only really antisocial habit is possession of very smelly sports kit and since his friend is from the same sports team he'll have plenty of stinky stuff too. Assuming they get on OK the plan would be for DS to live there for the rest of the course so fingers crossed it all works out. Things are a bit strained in hall at the moment as a few of the students in the flat have fallen out with each other so DS is keeping himself to himself and looking forward to moving out I think.

Thanks @sammyjoanne it’s hard not to worry, good to hear your DD is well & has found a way of managing it. DS is the no fuss type too!

@Penguinsathe rowing sounds very full on, your DD has found her passion! Lovely for you to have her around.

That's good your DS has accomodation sorted. DD is lucky, she gets 3 years in college and this year the boy next to her she seems to have had running round after her. When she cut her finger he took her to hospital and stayed with her and his Dad carried all her luggage.

Thanks Lego It's lovely to have DD back and we are off to a spa hotel for a night soon and she is looking after her brother. DH is a bit shocked as I have booked us both into aqua yoga and aqua dance.

@legosnowqueen I am sorry to hear about your son not getting a place this year at Durham. Super annoying for him but I'd take it as a sign that there is a university out there that will better accommodate his health needs and give him the opportunity to shine. Wishing him well.

@Penguinsa how are you? Did you start your new role? (Sorry if I've missed an update).

Good to hear that your DD is enjoying the Oxford experience. DN (now in his third year) has admitted that he's not enjoying his time there at all which is very sad. He still has a year to go too...

On the subject of Oxbridge rowing, I have just seen a list of the Cambridge 'Boat Race' crew which is dominated by Peterhouse students.

DD is underway on her travels. Loving Australia. Her Exeter accommodation choices all seem to be en suite ones which I'm not entirely happy about (the cost!). I'm not sure with applying early (as she has her place) whether it really gives her priority in accommodation allocation. Does anyone know?

With regard to accommodation costs, we start with the budget we will give DS. (This has been calculated by us, bearing in mind costs in that uni area) and then we present it to him. He then looked at halls options in the 1st year - could see what he would have left if he chose different options. So, en-suite or catered would mean less left for other expenditure. His choice.

Did same for 2nd year. Happy to fund the house deposit as an extra. DS looked at the range of prices and what he would have and chose a mid-range house - meant he was looking at a budget many other sharing students would be interested in and location was decent. He knew what he’d have left to spend each week.

Doesn’t work term time but will hope to earn £1.5-2k over summer. He already has a buffer of savings from pre-uni.

I find it helps students choose and decide what matters to them most if they have a budget up front. For some, the en-suite then becomes less attractive or the room with a 3/4 bed costing an extra £20 per week doesn’t seem good value.

DD has accommodation sorted for next year. She has a chronic health condition and university confirmed yesterday she can stay on campus.
she looked terrible at the end of the first term, but her medication has been changed and she looked fine when we saw her earlier this month. She finishes next week and has a two week break, a few more lectures, assessment weeks and then (unbelievably) year one will be over on 30th May.

That must be an amazing experience for your DD LouisCatorze going to Australia. Glad she is loving it. I am fine, thanks for asking. Completely fine from the diep surgery and its so much better and back swimming 3 miles or so each week. Started work full-time in December and loving that. Spent 3 weeks on one of the world's most remote islands earlier this year, 31C heat and fascinating. Off to a spa weekend with DH this weekend. Hope you are all doing well.

DS has been living in the most incredible flat (sounds similar - 2 min walk to uni, in city centre) the past year same circumstances. Not like a student house at all! They all take a pride in it and are staying next year as well. It’s a total bargain and he only pays for the time he stays so feels very fair. We were a bit worried initially but it’s worked out brilliantly. PM me if you’d like more info.

DD signed up for next year in November and they’ve got a nice house in the standard student area - some friends had strict budgets so she was guided by that. She has bagged herself the biggest room so I’ve suggested she pays a bit more each week so it’s fair.

Going to collect her for Easter holidays tomorrow, looking forward to seeing her and hearing all about her field trip. 😊

DD1 will be second year PhD so she’s staying in same private halls in Manchester. DD2 living with b/f again for year 2 in studio again but in different halls. This last lot have been a right waste of space so she will be glad to get rid.