What are you doing to support your lacking-in-direction, lackadaisical 15/16 year old for post GSCE choices?

[OwlBeGone]

Getting quite worried! Ds is 15, not hugely academic, predicted mostly 5s at GSCE. He doesn't want to go to uni & "doesn't want another 2 years in a classroom". He's even talking about the Armed Forces (which for him, I believe, is just a 'last resort' thing because he's struggling to know what to do with himself). He's not particularly practical so I don't think a trade would work either. As awful as this sounds, his dad and I are a bit at a loss because we both went to uni and his sister is there now. He's not really talking to us about what he even THINKS he wants to do, and it feels like he's disengaged. We are going to take him to various open days and will look at A levels he might want to do, as well as T levels and Btechs. It's just all quite confusing! Especially when you've got a son who seems a bit adrift himself. Any advice?

Oh gosh can I join this thread. I have a massive headache trying to get him to do his homework and revision as it is now I have to get him to apply for courses and attend open evenings in top when he has no idea what he wants to do!

Welcome! Not somewhere we want to be obviously, but it’s reassuring to know there are others in the same boat.

I had one of those OP. Average results at GCSE really unsure of what he wanted to do. I knew he wasn't capable of achieving brilliant A level results so I looked at BTECs for him and based on his likes and dislikes I chose a few that I thought would fit his personality. I just took control, we went to lots of open days and spoke to lots of people. He ended up doing an Engineering BTEC at Sixth Form which he excelled at (not surprising both his Grandads and Dad are engineers) and I helped him find and apply for some Engineering apprenticeships. He's just completed a three year apprenticeship, has professional qualifications and letters after his name! Yours will get there but you might find you have to take control. Mine just wasn't mature enough to deal with all of the decisions he had to make and was happy for me to support him. The other thing I insisted on was getting himself a Saturday job while he was at Sixth Form, the financial independence helped him with managing money and dealing with people in a work environment focused his mind and helped him learn what he didn't want IFSWIM! Good luck to him.

@HappySonHappyMum fantastic post! Mine has matured since GCSE but having mild ASD, is obsessed with a particular subject and enjoys volunteering in half term there but always struggles writing, revising and low focus academically. Doing BTEC level 2 at present and enjoying. However, will still need grades to progress to Level 3!! So we are thinking of apprentice. Good luck @Totallybannanas.

Hi, has anyone got any further with their teen? 😬 I've just found out our local college are stopping Btecs due to government funding which has really messed up our plans! Does anyone what sort.of GCSE graded do you need for T levels? My D's is predicted 4/5's if he pulls his finger out!

@Totallybannanas not really. The Higher prelim results are in and DS has done atrociously. We have been called to a parents’ night with others in the same boat and will meet with his teachers to discuss next steps. We’ve never been in this position before, the elder two passed with no problems, so I’m not sure what to expect. Something needs to change though, so hopefully they’ll be able to give us some guidance on where we go from here.

Back here again, ds2 waiting for results of exams/tests/mocks he took last week, Jan 24. I say this every time, but it just doesn't work. ie that once I have him mock exam grades it'll give me the evidence to sit him down and say : this isn't good enough, pull your socks up, no x box/ a punishment until this gets better. The only trouble is, he always does 'ok', not great but ok, so I don't have much leverage.

He still had no idea what he wants to do. I'm with @SirChenjins whose ds, who also plays football seems to think he's going to walk into a job as a physio at some big club : Man city/Chelsea/man u/Arsenal/spurs/Real Madrid! I've also repeatedly told him that's not going to happen and every 15 year old he plays football against each week wants that too.

I inadvertently/accidentally played a corker on him this week btw. Ds1 phoned from uni, so I mentioned to him that ' as he didn't want to go to Uni', as we'd already talked about he'd never get into somewhere Uber sporty like Loughborough..... well, he took absolute umbrage at this and insisted he might want to go.

So I told him that he won't get in without decent grades and something that makes him stand out from the crowd. Reminding him that he hadn't done anything about his football refereeing qualification. He hadn't done anything outside of the ordinary to put on his personal statement. He hadn't arranged any work experience for next year. He hadn't done anything to show that he had any interest to prove himself worthy any more than any of the other 1000's of applicants.

He didn't like this one bit. So, I'm hoping that the reverse psychology might help?

I do think the replacement of BTECs with T-Levels has left a small but significant gap in what is available for teens at the 4/5 level.

I would consider doing the appropriate level 2 course first and aim for a 3 year college experience. That will build up knowledge of the subject, bed into college, and learn how to do assessments etc.

Then after a year college would have a much better idea whether he can cope with the T-level, or he could look for an apprenticeship. Possibly better than starting at the T-Level if unsure whether he can cope, and dropping out with no further plans.

From what I have seen, grades for T-Levels can be a teensy bit higher than BTECs, eg maybe asking for 5s not 4s, not letting someone on with 1 GCSE to resit if they were a bit more flexible before.

Where we are 4s and 5 are fine for T Levels, but need 5s in the relevant ones, so for engineering/construction DC needs 5s in maths and a science, 4s in everything else. Not sure if allowed in if failed English.
The issue I've been told about T levels is the work experience needed. Sounds great on the college website but as far as I am aware DC would need to find it himself. That's quite a lot of stress for (let's face it ..) me.

If you can find a T-level that might interest him that might be good. My daughter is doing one and it's 2 days in college and 2 days work placement so very hands-on and focussed on skills.

It might depend on the industry and college but my daughter's college sorted out the placements for them, she was allowed to request or give preferences but they did all the admin. They definitely needed 5 in maths/Eng to get on a T-level course here. If they had a 4 they had to do a level 2 course before the T-level (ie three years of sixth form)

Good luck with the reverse psychology @Oblomov23, keeping everything crossed for you! We’ve tried that with DS but no joy sadly, so back to the drawing board for us.

I'm doubting it will work tbf SirC. I can't make that boy driven, he's practically horizontal as it is! Back to the drawing board for us too!

Well DS has his 2nd lot of mocks after half term. He has been told by his science teacher that if he doesn’t get a 5 in the next set of papers they will only enter him for Foundation. He was not happy about this but still hasn’t spurred him on to up his revision. And at the parents evening a few weeks ago his History teacher said he could get a 3 and he could get a 7; that DS has the ability but is just astonishingly lazy.

Judging by the grades he got in his November mocks he won’t have enough to stay on at his school sixth form. He really wants to stay on as all his friends are but yet again it doesn’t seem to be the kick up the backside he needs to get him moving!

What are his plans Roller girl? Mine can't seem to imagine himself doing anything and apparently he doesn't have a favourite subject. He hasn't really revised for his mocks this time so hoping his results don't knock him and actually motivate him to do better!