What are you doing to support your lacking-in-direction, lackadaisical 15/16 year old for post GSCE choices?

[OwlBeGone]

Getting quite worried! Ds is 15, not hugely academic, predicted mostly 5s at GSCE. He doesn't want to go to uni & "doesn't want another 2 years in a classroom". He's even talking about the Armed Forces (which for him, I believe, is just a 'last resort' thing because he's struggling to know what to do with himself). He's not particularly practical so I don't think a trade would work either. As awful as this sounds, his dad and I are a bit at a loss because we both went to uni and his sister is there now. He's not really talking to us about what he even THINKS he wants to do, and it feels like he's disengaged. We are going to take him to various open days and will look at A levels he might want to do, as well as T levels and Btechs. It's just all quite confusing! Especially when you've got a son who seems a bit adrift himself. Any advice?

I have one of these! DS2 got mainly 5s at GCSE. He wanted to do A level biology and go to uni (I had to explain he wouldn't get to uni with only one A level), but couldn't because his English grade wasn't good enough (he's dyslexic and we hired a tutor to get him up to a 4 in GCSE).

He was then completely lost and demotivated to do anything, every time I asked him what he wanted to do, he just shrugged. It was incredibly frustrating.

In the end, I told him he had to choose something from the local college and he decided on an Applied BTech in science.

He dropped out after less than two terms, but it turned out he'd actually researched courses at different colleges and had signed himself up for a 2 year diploma in biology.

We're really hoping that he enjoys it and sticks at it, but I have resigned myself to the fact that he may take a while to find his niche. We're happy to support him while he meanders his way through this stage of life though as he has worked part-time since he was 14 (but doesn't want a career in his part-time job, he just does it for the money).

You mean you’re glad you’re not in England.

Summer borns in Reception - if people are worried they can delay a year.

11+ - most people don't do it, as most areas don't have grammars

life path at 15 - I would moot that most kids do have an idea at least what they want to study next, and no one is committed to a 0 year career just because they study something at ages 16-18, changes of direction are always possible. The main system even allows for a false start as you can do 3 years in 6th form if you need to swap courses.

What you have to remember is MN is not representative as people who post on the education boards are self selecting.

Does he want to join the armed forces or you just feel it’s a last resort?
As a family that comes from generations of them who joined, there are lots of amazing things to come from it discipline, travel, multiple different vehicle licences, fitness, invaluable skills, lifelong friends & apprenticeships just to name a few.

I didn’t join the forces or have a clue what I wanted to do, in the end my parents forced me into a college course I hated and secretly quit a few months in, I got an office job and worked my way up over the years.
I had worked as a waitress since 14, so wasn’t lazy just wasn’t sure and found school hard.

@TeenDivided what I meant was the UK is not just England eg not every part of the UK has 11+, or the same cut off dates for intake, or Reception year.

We have had exams at 16 since the year dot! My DM took exams at the start of the Second World War. Most didn’t as they went to non selective secondary schools or stayed in primary schools until 14/15. Few could progress to good jobs straight from ordinary school. So we expect certain levels of achievement to access HE and FE but FE courses can be accessed with a variety of grades. Many are practical but if DC don’t engage with anything, there’s a problem. Years ago this wasn’t tolerated as money was SO tight for the majority. Parents expected money to come in. You didn’t dare not to work!

Yes, and that made sense when people left school at 15 and did the same job for the rest of their lives! Now they have to be doing some kind of education until 18, so what's the point of doing GCSES more than English and Maths? Their teachers should be able to signpost them to appropriate post 16 specialisms from their 5 years at school. Just because something was done 80 years ago doesn't mean the world is the same now.It also doesn't mean that was the best way, when swathes of people were written off to be factory fodder and women were undereducated in the main into administrative jobs no matter their ability.

Teachers signpost Dc??? Oh dear no. What world of work knowledge and experience do they have? Very little and should stick to what they know.

I didn’t say it was the best way to decide who does what and where but history cannot be swept under the carpet and who would then decide who is capable of what? GCSEs are not a bad indicator of what further study should look like and Oxford score them for admission. So do a number of other unis. Predictions for A levels might be wrong. GCSEs are results.

School have to provide some kind of careers advice.

At my DD's school every y11 had a meeting with a member of the SLT to check they had suitable plans in place for post 16. The school provided good information on post 16 options from end of y9 onwards, including notifying about open evenings at all the colleges (A level and vocational). Also info on apprenticeship, forces etc.

Yeah, no teacher has ever had a career before teaching, and certainly has no knowledge of local employers or universities.

@Postapocalypticcowgirl Exactly. (Yes I get irony!)

The vast majority have not had another career. Even if 10 out of 100 have, that’s very limited experience and advice. Hundreds of jobs will not be represented or even thought of. Let alone how to achieve them. Teachers have often been to one uni or maybe a pgce year at another. They are not best placed to advise because most have done school, uni, school. So many say “unis are all as good as each other” or “ I went to X and I’ve done ok” which is also useless advice. None will have done an apprenticeship. None will have been to a FE college. None will have a grade 1,2,3 in gcse English or maths. Dc deserve qualified advisers who understand all the options. Not a teacher with yet another addition to their job that they are under qualified to do. Dc deserve better.

haha Agree @TeenDivided was going to post similar.

Summer borns - I have two, was not an issue.

The vast vast majority of ppl in England don't do 11+.

Taking a day off sick is not the end of anything; and yes IME many teens do have an idea of what they enjoy at age 16 and are more than happy to stop studying the things they dislike. I'm glad I don't (or rather DD doesn't) live somewhere where all 16yos have to keep going with maths and science until they are 18. She would have hated that.

Lots of teachers btw have had another career outside teaching. I would estimate a good deal more than 10%, at any rate at the school I worked at. I can think at once of at least 20 (and there were not 200 teachers!).

The 20 includes me btw tho I am not sure that it made me a better teacher. The three best teachers I have worked with, whose skill and ability and knowledge and empathy I would rate very highly, were all career teachers.

I do agree tho with @TizerorFizz that dedicated careers advice from someone whose specialism it is should be available to all teens.

I have the same issue, 15 yr old DS who is unmotivated to study for GCSEs or to make any decisions about what he will do next year.

He’s had a careers interview at school, been to a careers fair with us, and one college open day so far (more planned). But it’s like pulling teeth. At the careers fair he ended up playing with Lego… He seems too immature to be making these decisions.
I think he just can’t imagine not being at school!

GCSE predicted grades 4/5s so not looking good enough for A Levels, and also I know how hard they are and I just don’t know if he has the skills even if he got the grades.
We’re looking at BTEC options, maybe Science as they are his favourite subjects.

I don’t remember my parents having anything like this sort of input into my education.

@Beignet I feel for you. My Ds is around 18 months behind his peers academically. I have found from other mums that many children with SN get mature little later than their peers. Positive side for your DD is high score IQ and supportive college. My Ds was reluctant to have Talking Therapy needed for anxiety. Constant reinforcement with some examples helped. Even though he has made friends in college and very happy to hang around during break time, he still doesn't plan outings with them, he is not confident enough. I am sure there will be other students with Dyslexia at college, she can find out from support teams. Just give bit more time. I wish her and you the best.

Thanks @Hopeforb . It's hard to see them struggle isn't it?

Things have improved for dd in the last couple of days, she has met a few more people and seems brighter.

I did do a tough love chat and it actually seems to have worked! She been putting her phone down and going off to do stuff which is lovely to see.

Good luck with your ds!

How does your country better support 15 year olds?

My ds is in yr 11, forecasted a couple of 4’s, mostly 5’s and maybe one 6/7 (double science). He’s an anxious boy and the stress of not knowing what he wants to do is just piling up on top of the pressure of exams. I’m planning on encouraging him on doing a triple award btec in 3d design and a single award btec in science (or an A level in physics, if they’ll have him). I also think he’ll be better at school where they know about his anxiety and history. After that we’ll look down the apprentice route as I don’t think he’s university material, although he’d love to be.

dd (2 years younger) will smash her subjects and get 9’s and maybe a couple of 8’s so she can just probably pick 4 A levels and head off to uni.

@Passthecake30 A triple award (Extended Diploma?) plus a Single Award (certificate) would be a pretty high workload. Have the school indicated it is a viable option?

Not yet @TeenDivided. Open evening is this week so hopefully I’ll know more then. They do suggest that a single A level is taken alongside the triple award but that might be too much for my ds. Will find out Tues!

I hear you all. Have a 15 year old son (although year 10) who hasn’t a clue what he wants to do. Not interested in a levels and he won’t get the grades anyway (probably 5’s mainly)

Ive found a couple of college courses he may like but no enthusiasm there. He doesn’t know what he wants to do it seem to have any cares in finding out! May want to work with dogs so need to research that but I doubt he’ll be interested in any jobs I do find.

it’s going to be a nightmare.

@IcedupTulip 'may want to work with dogs'

There are Animal care courses. That is what most people who work with dogs seem to start with as far as I can see on 'Meet the Team' pages on websites. You may need to look to your nearest Agricultural College, though some 'normal' colleges do them too.
DD's course covered Kennels, Cattery, Reptiles, domestic pets, paddock animals, birds and zoo. Her favourite lesson was walking the dogs. (Though Level 3 course would do this less often than she did on her Level 1 courses.)

Thank you. I did look up courses and found one but it’s an hour and a half on the bus which put him off 🙄. Also the fact that it covers other animals as I think dogs are the only interest. I’ve told him to start Googling what kind of jobs working with dogs are out there in the hope he will get inspired. I think we will chat about it more and maybe go and visit at some point if we can before year 11 so he has an idea.

@TeenDivided what job has your daughter ended up with from this course?

She only did Level 1, and is on a kind of 'Gap year'. But she has been doing some work experience at a kennels and just started at a groomers. Groomers will require a L2 apprenticeship (or she could have done it part time this year at college but she decided she couldn't cope with the teaching room too many people and dogs).

(We don't have a dog so her experience outside of college is limited.)

Hopefully by Easter she'll be ready for more regular work, if only part time, and will know whether she wants to do grooming. The kennels is more physical and outside, but includes actual playing with dogs. The grooming is indoors and more skilled and close holding dogs.