Thread 22 Covid Cohort - Creeping towards the Future - Personal Statements and Interviews

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/4370509-Thread-21-Corona-Cohort-Nervous-waiting-so-frustrating
Role Call below
@20newnames / DS / Engineering
@Alsoplayspiccolo / DD / English + Film
@AnneofCleavage / DD / gap year? Primary Education
@BlueMarigold / DD / Biology
@crazycrofter / DD / Child (?) + Mental Health Nursing
@Decorhate / DS / Economics + Politics
@Delphigirl / DS / Oceanography
@DoggerelBank / DS / tbc sciencey
@ealingwestmum / DD / Middle Eastern and European Studies
@EerilyDisembodied / DS / History or Environmental Management
@estherfrewen / DS / History
@EwwSprouts / DS / Biology
@Fiddlersgreen / DS / Journalism
@Fruitygal / DD / Biology
@Hattifatteners / DD / Vet Med
@Heifer / DD / Biology
@Hopeful201 / DS / Medicine
@Horace123 / DS / Classics
@icanbewhatiwant / DS / History + Philosophy
@Isthisjustnormal / DS / Comp Sci
@KingscoteStaff / DD / Medicine
@mummabear74 / DD / Environmental Science
@mummyinbeds / DS / Law + French Law
@Nard75 / DS / Maths
@NCTDN / DD / Liberal Arts
@Oblomov21 / DS / Accountancy
@OrangeCinnamonCocktail / DD / Music (uni)
@PaddingtonPaddington / DD / Music (cons)
@Piggywaspushed / DS / Social sciences combo
@ProggyMat / DD / Classics
@SandyBayley / DD / Medicine
@Seeline / DD / Liberal Arts
@singingstones / DS / Neuroscience
@Wheresthebeach / DD / gap year? Marine Biology
@whoamitojudge / DD / Cabin crew training
@Zebracat / DD / Liberal Arts or Anthropology
@ZittiEBuoni / DD / applying next year

Confession!! I was almost disowned at a baby and toddler group when I had my first. I’d become friends with a great bunch of graduate career girls like me 8 months in it was my birthday. They got me a card and a cake 🎂 then I was asked my age …. I was mid/late 20s …. they all acted that I’d betrayed them …. Average age was 36… they said we thought you were one of us …. I felt very sad as it meant I looked 8-10years older than my age 😂😂😂😂 - still friends with 3 of them. Once I had number 3 I was average age for that friendship group

Another geriatric here! I Had ds2 at 35 so I’m guessing lots of my age mates here . For what it’s worth, I certainly feel like a geriatric now with all my existing health issues.

DD school friends have parents of massively different ages - we have mums aged 64 down to 34 all with 17-18yr olds so anything goes. I’m in the middle! There’s pros and cons for both and lots if people don’t get to choose - life chooses for them.

Dear Lord! I know there are posters here with dc with adhd. How ? just how do you teach them to get organised, and to understand time? I had thought we had cracked this with getting ready for school but the poor executive function is showing up still in being on top. DS just enraged several teachers by being late to get on the coach taking them on school trip. It’s got to the point he is getting more and more anxious about his organisation and timing and it’s becoming a vicious cycle. School is mad, he is mad at himself.

Oh dear @shimy😬 Ds in year 11 is my adhd one but he’s never cared at all about being late unfortunately. Last term we had a new drop off routine in the morning and he never mentioned that he wasn’t getting in on time until he had a report before half term with 11 lates!

Having said that, his organisation has massively improved since he started his gym/Muay Thai intense fitness regime. He goes straight from school to the gym in the city centre then sometimes on to Muay Thai so he needs to be organised with the right kit. Like with everything if he’s motivated he can do it! But also, I think having to do it for something he enjoys has rubbed off generally and he’s more on top of everything else too. Not sure how that helps you though!

We’ve used a calendar on the wall, bag packing at night, same routine every evening etc which has helped.

Having said all that, he lost his bank card and bus pass the week before last (second pass lost since Sept!) and this morning he almost didn’t go in as he couldn’t find any clean boxers!

Geriatric here too. I had Ds3 age 37. Almost all the mums at primary school when I was there with him, were around my age apart from one who I realised was young enough for me to be her mum 😂 As ds3 is quite a bit younger than ds1 and ds2 I'd been going to the primary school almost 15 years, it felt such a long time.

Good news re the grade for UCAS as DD heard today that she has been given a B after all. She is so relieved. So am I. She is hoping that her form gets sent off very soon.

Haven't heard of anyone on here having COVID for a while now but lots of family members and friends have COVID at the moment so it is only a matter of time before we get it I feel. I've been a contact for two this week alone so taking LFTs but don't need to do a PCR unless have symptoms I'm told by T & T. I'm lying low so missing my nieces show tomorrow night and not doing my volunteering at the hospital as would hate to be incubating it. My booster is due tomorrow so can't have that but can go next week or so.

@crazycrofter It seems he is okay with the regular routine but anything new like going to an interview, going on an open day, whatever it is he can’t get organised. We have the boxers thing as well! I think he went on the trip pant less (TMI I know!) we just bought him 15 new ones last month. What makes it worse is he argues about time -
Me/school - ‘it’ll take you 20mins to walk down to the stop.....
DS - Oh no it won’t, I’ll be there in 2mins.
Me - the drive down the M1 will take about 1 and half hrs due to traffic etc
DS - We’ll be there 30mins!

Each time we are late or he is late we sit him down and explain about time, constraints that need to be factored in but next time it’s the same argument. His room is unbelievable! Layers of papers, cups, spoons etc all on top of his study table. He can no longer study there and is using the kitchen. I’m scared one day it’s going to be for something life changing like a job interview and he’ll miss it, I think he now knows this and is getting very anxious.

There must be some kind of tool/app that can help him get organised.

Wow, I really think DS should do an ADHD assessment, so many similar traits! We just tell him he is a numpty for losing track of time, losing driving licence, losing 3 sets of PE kits and loads of pencil cases!

Shimy, a lovely friend went me the link for a video of someone with AS HE explaining why time keeping is a huge issue for people with ADHD, and why simply telling them that they need to build in extra time allowances just doesn't work.
I'll see if I can find it.

ADHD

Shimy and everyone else who has a similar DC, sympathies. It is hard to deal with. I have no solutions I’m afraid, DD’s room used to be absolutely horrific and I shut the door on it in the end so at least the arguments stopped.

Once it got to a certain point it completely overwhelmed her and she couldn’t pull it back. Over time she has developed strategies and does get to places on time. This sounds awful but I forgot her one morning and only realised when the car was really quiet with just the dog in it. That was literally down the road and I went back but it had a good effect and she wasn’t late again.

She is developing strategies eg. as loses phone so frequently she has bought a very bright and big holder that is easy to spot and has a planner she writes everything in and schedules things. She was sad and relieved to get diagnosed. It helped her to know it wasn’t that she wasn’t trying enough and there was a reason.

@AnneOfCleavage great news about the grade move! Thank goodness - fingers crossed form off soon now. She must be so relieved and you too.

Lots of COVID between 6th September and 15th October amongst family and friends with kids at senior schools but managed to avoid. Only have DD at home who is at school and so less opportunities but was surprised we got through a whole half term. She did have a cancelled Halloween party because friend got it.

Not looking forward to this half term and January/February as we had summer mocks seriously disrupted by non covid illness. Touch wood we can avoid in the winter period.

@Monkey2001 if it’s causing him problems, it might be worth looking into? Does he also have issues with impulsivity or just the losings things/concentration side, as he could have ADD without the H! Ds’ H traits seem to be improving, again I think maybe due to all the fitness stuff. Or maybe just maturity, but either way, I’ve not had a call from his head of year/the assistant head yet this term 😮

@shimy dh is also terrible with timing, he just can’t seem to estimate how long things will take, plus he’s very slow, and dd takes after him too. So with the two of them, plus ds forgetting/losing things at the last minute, getting anywhere on time as a family is almost impossible! I spend so much time laying out people’s shoes for them with laces untied/packing things in bags to speed them up/generally chivvying everyone along!

Gosh, all these stories of ADHD dc and their timekeeping/organisation/horrific bedrooms are sounding verrrry familiar. DD can be on time for things when she really, really needs to be but in general she needs 30 minutes longer than the time available to get ready - even if the time available is infinite! And don't get me started on the bedroom. Definitely going to push for a referral at her next MH review next week.

Interesting stories re ADHD etc.

DS has a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome (autism without learning difficulties) and dyspraxia. He also has language difficulties but no official diagnosis. He is a bit disorganised but does his absolute best, he loses things and just can't do that "where did you last have it" thing at all, also never thinks to look under or behind things. He also forgets things. He panics and his brain freezes.

However timekeeping, OMG. One of the first signs of developmental differences was that by around the time he started school he could tell the time, am, pm, 24 hour clock, analogue. digital, days of the week and very quickly knew what happened on what days and how many days away that was, got calenders etc. Once when he was about 7 or 8 we set off on a very long drive, he asked how long it was going to take and I said "about 7 hours". 7 hours to the minute later it was "well, why aren't we there, you said we would be there by now" after watching the car clock. He is VERY literal. He also has an extremely good sense of direction and awareness of where places are in relation to one another.

DH has a lot of traits of ADD, dyslexia etc. He loses and forgets stuff ALL the time, no sense of direction, can't follow diagrams to do anything, doesn't know the name of the next street even though we've lived here for 20 years.

DD is dyslexic. I'm not any of these things but I do have some traits, not surprising really.

AnneofC glad school came round.

Another geriatric here. I didn't mind as a lot of my longstanding friends of a similar age all had their DC in the same few years.

I had DD at 26 (& DS at 27) and some of my friends have children in similar school years however two of them now have toddlers so there’s a good range. Seems odd that 35 is considered geriatric.

DD has ADHD and I can relate to the multiple lost items, no sense of time, room resembling a tip and nearly missing the bus most days. Really important things get added as a notification on her phone with a reminder 30mins before then 10 mins, 5 mins etc as it’s in her hand most of the time (unless she’s misplaced it!)

Well done on all the offers so far and driving test pass. This thread is moving fast.

Still waiting to hear about outcome of interview 2 weeks ago, hopefully in the next week.

@Zebracat That sounds a nightmare. You’d think they’d make it easy for people.

@AnneOfCleavage Fab news

DD also dyslexic…quite sever so there are lots of issues to deal with.

Ummm do I win the geriatric award? Was 43 when I had DD

I too love hearing about her Zebracat. You are amazing. ❤️
When she goes to uni, Your'll have a spare room right? A few of us here would like to put ourself forward for your next round of adoption. I would fail selection criteria immediately because I'm hairy, farty and a couch potato. But I do get extra points because I'm exponentially grateful when someone puts a meal in front of me that I haven't cooked.

As a family we cover- Dyslexics, executive function issues, ASD, ADHD, ADD and dyspraxia. Think I’ve covered it all. 3/5 of us diagnosed dyslexic.

I feel strongly that SEN diagnosis are far too hard to get and so many families miss out on diagnosis and appropriate help due to lack of financial means or understanding of help available.

DS1 we were told just to accept not very bright not dyslexic by school senco in teens but when tested (privately for dyslexia) has a severe form but a higher IQ than DD (strong achiever at a Grammar school).

Wise and experienced Wheresthebeach, G word banished from this thread

Agree @fruitygal Proper testing for dyslexia should be available in all schools, not the pared back version. DD was dismissed as a 'lovely girl' and me as a 'pushy mother'. We took her to Helen Arkell finally (against school wishes) and before the assessment they offered us our money back and suggested we leave based on the school report about me!

I'll never forget the wide eyed look on the assessors face after she completed the tests. 'But this is significant' were her first words. DD qualifies for extra time (could do 50% based on her scores but we've stuck with 25% to avoid tiredness, a prompter to help reading, increased print size, and use of a computer). I suspect she would have been flagged in secondary (SENCO said that phonics ability for dyslexics crashes in secondary as all the support work in school stops), but she would have missed out on starting secondary with support in place. Its a disgrace that there isn't full testing in schools, or partial screening with full testing if any issues flag up. Its fine for us, we paid, but many don't have £600 to hand over so what happens to those kids? They struggle.

I've very dyslexic (diagnosed as a child which was pretty rare back then) so I knew the look of fear in her eyes when asked to spell something.

@ealingwestmum - agreed! (slinks off to Beauty and Style to see if anyone has some good recommendations about how to deal with jowls!)