Thread 22 Covid Cohort - Creeping towards the Future - Personal Statements and Interviews

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/4370509-Thread-21-Corona-Cohort-Nervous-waiting-so-frustrating
Role Call below
@20newnames / DS / Engineering
@Alsoplayspiccolo / DD / English + Film
@AnneofCleavage / DD / gap year? Primary Education
@BlueMarigold / DD / Biology
@crazycrofter / DD / Child (?) + Mental Health Nursing
@Decorhate / DS / Economics + Politics
@Delphigirl / DS / Oceanography
@DoggerelBank / DS / tbc sciencey
@ealingwestmum / DD / Middle Eastern and European Studies
@EerilyDisembodied / DS / History or Environmental Management
@estherfrewen / DS / History
@EwwSprouts / DS / Biology
@Fiddlersgreen / DS / Journalism
@Fruitygal / DD / Biology
@Hattifatteners / DD / Vet Med
@Heifer / DD / Biology
@Hopeful201 / DS / Medicine
@Horace123 / DS / Classics
@icanbewhatiwant / DS / History + Philosophy
@Isthisjustnormal / DS / Comp Sci
@KingscoteStaff / DD / Medicine
@mummabear74 / DD / Environmental Science
@mummyinbeds / DS / Law + French Law
@Nard75 / DS / Maths
@NCTDN / DD / Liberal Arts
@Oblomov21 / DS / Accountancy
@OrangeCinnamonCocktail / DD / Music (uni)
@PaddingtonPaddington / DD / Music (cons)
@Piggywaspushed / DS / Social sciences combo
@ProggyMat / DD / Classics
@SandyBayley / DD / Medicine
@Seeline / DD / Liberal Arts
@singingstones / DS / Neuroscience
@Wheresthebeach / DD / gap year? Marine Biology
@whoamitojudge / DD / Cabin crew training
@Zebracat / DD / Liberal Arts or Anthropology
@ZittiEBuoni / DD / applying next year

@nard75 that sounds so tough. All I can do is tell you about Dd and what seemed to work for her..it may not be the right solution for your DS.
Dd got herself into a state of social anxiety at the beginning of the year/spring. She said she was scared to talk to/ approach people in her college classes, it was too busy etc. What I think helped her was getting a job, her summer season job especially, forced to talk to members of the public and a load of new young people who worked there too. Something at one point gave her a crisis of confidence. Perhaps it was lockdown, she was in a relationship that was a bit toxic too. She 'seems' ok at the moment.

That’s worrying @Nard75 that he’s stopped the online socialising too. Can you ask him about that, see if something happened to upset him, did new players join the group who he didn’t feel comfortable with? Could he find a new group to play with? I think the online friendship groups can be fairly fluid, ds mentioned yesterday that a boy from the year above has just started playing Xbox with his group. Is there anything outside of school he could get involved with, does he have friends from other activities he could get back in touch with? You’re right, the next year is going to be really challenging and you wouldn’t want him going away to uni with his social confidence really low. Maybe a year out to work would help?

@OrangeCinnamonCocktail it has been the same for DS this has really started since the start of lockdown. Getting a job seems like a great idea but he needs to be willing to do this himself. We just don't know what to do for the best and we can't force him to do things he doesn't want to. The only thing we can do is be there for him when he is ready for the next step. Would you recommend getting help from a counsellor.

[quote Nard75]@OrangeCinnamonCocktail it has been the same for DS this has really started since the start of lockdown. Getting a job seems like a great idea but he needs to be willing to do this himself. We just don't know what to do for the best and we can't force him to do things he doesn't want to. The only thing we can do is be there for him when he is ready for the next step. Would you recommend getting help from a counsellor. [/quote]
Actually, I forgot to mention Dd had been talking to a counsellor at college. She has long term anxiety issues, social anxiety was never a big problem before. It may have helped her with the social anxiety too. She was desperate for a job so that helped. What I did do was gently remind her of achievements socially when there was progress e.g running her own jewellery stall for Pride festival at college. Making friends on WhatsApp with work colleagues. Allowing time for her to decompress from busy /taxing events helped too I noticed. It is almost like she, as an introvert, had
to slowly build up stamina to do social stuff again.

She went out shopping with a friend to Southampton today. She was mentally exhausted...they spent 8 hours out it was too much really, she has been hiding in her room tonight. I haven't forced her to be with her Dad and I she needs time to recover!

@nard75 I think it sounds like a gap year could be good for him, except they really don't like that for maths. Does he have any close friendships you could nurture?

Bloody Covid!!!

Zitti sorry to hear your DD is still struggling with going in. Hoping for success with the meds 🤞

Well yesterday didn't go as planned...we thought DD was car sick...ahem clearly a stomach bug, so drove back home ditching visit to Gran...hoping it's a 24 hour thing.

Hope she’s better quickly @Wheresthebeach

it has been the same for DS this has really started since the start of lockdown.

@Nard75, apologies if you have already explored this with your DS, but could it be the, or at least an, underlying problem? Huge public messaging about the danger of mixing with others, you want to kill granny if you expressed any thoughts on missing normal human interaction etc ...

I said it on the other thread but in case it was missed -

Thank you for the list, singingstone - brilliant work!

And congratulations to mini Seeline - lovely news!

DD is 18 today! Due to DS being away, we’ve already had our family celebration - a weekend away in Bath - so she’s off out to dinner with her closest friends and then one of them is hosting a house party in her honour.

Happy birthday to dd @Alsoplayspiccolo, hope she has a lovely day!

Happy birthday @Alsoplayspiccolo DD!!

So sorry to hear this NARDs. We have been told that it’s a bit of a myth that places don’t like a gap year for Maths. I wasn’t hugely convinced by this but I have noticed that Warwick say it’s fine, took screenshot for you. Haven’t looked to see if others say it’s the case

Think lockdown has been really hard on a lot and I think those who were maybe a bit introverted by nature have been hit very hard without the enforced socialisation that being in school or college brings .

If he isn’t happy to engage then really difficult. I’m in the process of trying to sort some counselling for DS. He is feeling a lot better now his meds have kicked in (depression a symptom of what he is being treated for) but I feel that he was very low and anxious for ages during an important time of brain development combined with some challenging times to come so feel support would be really useful. Luckily he can recognise this as he was so bad at one point and keen to avoid going back there plus I think he recognises he could be better still.

If your DS is like mine (and he is probably not!) do you think you could present the idea of getting support to him in terms of an exercise of logic if you see what I mean?

Zitti I am so sorry to hear about DD, please do keep posting. Things went badly wrong for my DD in 6th form but coming good now. She has just had a diagnosis of ADHD which I wish we had realised at the time.

If anyone has a recommendation for a good counsellor who does a bit of CBT in with it and does Zoom sessions I would be really grateful for a PM , am not confident that current enquiry am making will have space.

Oh, that's a good point MarchingFrogs. The 'don't kill granny' stuff definitely contributed to dd's problems, I think. She worries a lot about seeing health care workers in person for this reason. I hope your ds is able to open up about his worries Nard75. So difficult when you want to take them by the shoulders and scream JUST TALK TO ME...but you know that wouldn't be at all helpful!

Happy birthday to Minipiccolo !
Hope DD is better very soon Wheresthebeach

@Volterra

Happy birthday to Minipiccolo ! Hope DD is better very soon Wheresthebeach

Should that be Piccolo-piccolo?! Sounds like a lovely civilsed celebration.

@wheresthebeach I assume you have done an LFT? Sickness was a symptom at out school, but obviously the normal bugs are still going too.

Happy birthday, alsoplayspiccolo DD! Jealous of your Bath weekend, although we had a fantastic London weekend for dd's 18th earlier this month so I'm just being greedy really.

Volterra, interesting to hear about your dd's ADHD. There was a feature on PM on R4 the other day about girls with ADHD who struggled to get it diagnosed and it made me think of DD because she has always found concentration a challenge. I thought it was down to her ASD, but maybe not...

Unfortunately can't recommend a counsellor as everyone dd has seen has been linked with local NHS or schools, but private practice would be our next port of call if the current lines of enquiry lead nowhere. Hope you find someone soon.

Happy birthday MiniPiccalo .

DD up and back to normal today - she does LFT regularly so we're confident its not Covid. Not sure if bug, food poisoning or allergy (she's FPIES so repeated vomiting is her main allergic reaction). But I stopped counting after she's vomited 10 times yesterday. Sigh.

Happy Birthday mini piccolo!

Yes I think Piccolo-Piccalo is better !

Zitti I’m sure that is most likely in your DD’s case. DD doesn’t have the hyperactivity component so managed to stay under the radar and had a dyspraxia diagnosis from when she was little. 6th form was a complete disaster and I was so stressed.

She announced recently she is thinking of doing a Masters. Those words would have been unthinkable a few years ago and it remains to be seen what happens but it was the fact she said it. I’m hoping that gives you a bit of hope as I know it can be really isolating when you are going through it 💐

Ds got his first offer this morning, Southampton ABB, with an A in EPQ, which he already has. Feels nice, to have an offer. This was his back up, lowest grades. All the others are AAA. He's predicted A*AA.

That only leaves Durham, his preferred, which we all know offer at the last moment.

And his 3 other choices are all PwC Flying start degrees - Queen Mary, Reading, and Nottingham. which only have 60 places available. But he chose all 3 because its what he wants, he knew the risk.

Now its just a long wait, until we hear from the 3 PwC ones, who have already e-mailed to say they are considering offers and will notify soon.

And then finally Durham, on the last day in May , only 7 months then?

Well done @Oblomov21. Such a relief to have an offer in the bag.

We're still waiting for school to finalise everything which is very frustrating as it was all done 2 weeks ago now.

Yay Oblomov21, the back-up offer is always a big relief when it comes.

Volterra, thank you so much, that has given me hope and is wonderful to hear. Dd is on the phone to the school counsellor now - she has taken an hour away from her own half term to fit in an extra session with DD, which is really kind of her.

Congratulations @Oblomov21 - great news!

Well done to your ds @Oblomov21! Hope he gets a PwC offer if that’s what he wants (I used to work for them, they’re the best of the big 4 in my opinion 😉 )