Thread 22 Covid Cohort - Creeping towards the Future - Personal Statements and Interviews

[OrangeCinnamonCocktail]

This is a thread for supporting all young people post GCSEs 2020, regardless of their educational setting. It is respectfully requested that all are supportive and helpful to each other. If you want to start a debate, e.g state vs private, please don't within this thread. Please also be sensitive when responding to threads about grades.

Some of us have been here since first thread back in yr10, some will be new. Everyone has been friendly and helpful in the past. Everyone is welcome. It is hoped this will continue.

Our DS/DD may go down various paths (such as employment, apprenticeships, higher ed) We have decided for anyone interested they will most likely find us within the Further Ed board.

Previous thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/4370509-Thread-21-Corona-Cohort-Nervous-waiting-so-frustrating
Role Call below
@20newnames / DS / Engineering
@Alsoplayspiccolo / DD / English + Film
@AnneofCleavage / DD / gap year? Primary Education
@BlueMarigold / DD / Biology
@crazycrofter / DD / Child (?) + Mental Health Nursing
@Decorhate / DS / Economics + Politics
@Delphigirl / DS / Oceanography
@DoggerelBank / DS / tbc sciencey
@ealingwestmum / DD / Middle Eastern and European Studies
@EerilyDisembodied / DS / History or Environmental Management
@estherfrewen / DS / History
@EwwSprouts / DS / Biology
@Fiddlersgreen / DS / Journalism
@Fruitygal / DD / Biology
@Hattifatteners / DD / Vet Med
@Heifer / DD / Biology
@Hopeful201 / DS / Medicine
@Horace123 / DS / Classics
@icanbewhatiwant / DS / History + Philosophy
@Isthisjustnormal / DS / Comp Sci
@KingscoteStaff / DD / Medicine
@mummabear74 / DD / Environmental Science
@mummyinbeds / DS / Law + French Law
@Nard75 / DS / Maths
@NCTDN / DD / Liberal Arts
@Oblomov21 / DS / Accountancy
@OrangeCinnamonCocktail / DD / Music (uni)
@PaddingtonPaddington / DD / Music (cons)
@Piggywaspushed / DS / Social sciences combo
@ProggyMat / DD / Classics
@SandyBayley / DD / Medicine
@Seeline / DD / Liberal Arts
@singingstones / DS / Neuroscience
@Wheresthebeach / DD / gap year? Marine Biology
@whoamitojudge / DD / Cabin crew training
@Zebracat / DD / Liberal Arts or Anthropology
@ZittiEBuoni / DD / applying next year

Heifer, when DD was doing her GCSEs (or not!), I couldn’t believe friends didn’t know what exam board their DCs were doing, or even which set texts, for example.
Admittedly, DD needed a lot of support, so I was very hands-on with revision, but even so.

If I wasn’t driving her UCAS application, with regards to courses, uni’s, open days etc, she’d pick 5 completely random (ie unsuitable) choices.

School haven’t told us anything about references, or even predicted grades, officially etc, which is highly frustrating, given they’re a selective indie.

I’m very definitely an (over) invested mum.

@Heifer I have several friends who wish they had supported their DC better earlier. Including one whose DS now has severe anxiety and will barely leave the house. Back in Y12 she was discouraging him from studying drama because she couldn’t see where it led, but now (he was A level 2020 cohort) she would be grateful if he did anything. DS1’s GF was in the same boat as your DD might have been - medicine no longer an option due to a D in a Chemistry. In terms to DC communication, DS2 always wants to discuss plans, DS1 less so, but happy to have a PA!

Same - and I have probably said this before but I have got a friend who has no problem telling her 17 yr old DS to put a coat on or to have a drink of water, but has no idea that his plan to study economics at Bath when predicted a C in maths is not gonna happen. I find it mind boggling. She had never heard of a contextual offer.

@Heifer I'd love to support Ds. But he's not having any of it. I've sent links to universities that offer his course with grades lower than his first choice, plus quite a few other things. But he never reads my texts, unless he wants something. He just says none of it needs doing until January. So he's not interested. Ds1 wanted more help. I know ds3 will need the most help of all. I might be used to the process by then, or forgotten it all as he's only year 8.

Same here, I went out with a mum friend last week (DCs went to primary school together but not secondary). DFriend is normally pretty hands on and works in secondary education and knows a lot about just about everything. Asked about her DS's plans - same, oh, he wants to go to Bath, that's as far as he's got. No open days, nothing, she was waiting for him to ask.

OTOH I am being (so far) much more hands off with DD (y11). She is very independent and well organised. I can check which exam board she's doing via the parent app but I don't know off the top of my head. I always help if she asks, but any suggestions around revision planning etc are pushed back. We have gone to college open evenings and discussed A level choices.

In other news I have managed to edit DS's PS down to less than 4000 characters (he does tend to waffle). He's out tonight but will go through it with him over the weekend. One more open day for us tomorrow, Royal Agricultural at Cirencester. I must admit I have enjoyed these (apart from Sussex).

I guess that is why we are all here - as we are like minded people who wants to support our DD/DS.

I certainly don't get everything right - I have made huge parents mistakes I think along the way, but have already tried to be interested and show support (even when it's not wanted) ;-)

Forgot to say we had virtual parents evening last night - was good, 5 mins per teacher and cut off when time up (bet the staff LOVE it).

I don’t ever remember my mother ever asking me if I wanted, or intended to go to university. It was all about my older sibling. And yet she tells me now I was the naturally clever one, not sure if there is a back handed compliment there, but either way, I found my own way through it because I had no choice.

My DD is lucky she has me, and I take the heavy lifting off some of the mundane things she doesn’t have time, or not inclined to research.

She’ll thank me one day. Actually, she does now on a good day. Spreadsheets rule. Never apologise for them

[quote icanbewhatiwant]@Heifer I'd love to support Ds. But he's not having any of it. I've sent links to universities that offer his course with grades lower than his first choice, plus quite a few other things. But he never reads my texts, unless he wants something. He just says none of it needs doing until January. So he's not interested. Ds1 wanted more help. I know ds3 will need the most help of all. I might be used to the process by then, or forgotten it all as he's only year 8.[/quote]
you are supporting him - you've tried but he isn't ready - that is still supporting. Im talking about parents who have made no effort to understand the process, or try to chat to their DS/DD about it at all.

@icanbewhatiwant but you will be there with the knowledge when he starts to panic!

@Monkey2001 ha ha....he won't panic. He's not the panicking type. He's always laid back about everything.

I've decided school are not pushing personal statements much yet because they're doing more assessments. Maths teacher told DS if he did well in the next two tests he would up his predicted grade.

I don't have Delphigirl type contacts but I've read something this week about pressure in Wales to cancel exams due to the rate of secondary school absences.

Dinner parties are a distant memory... it's leggings and a bar of chocolate tonight!

We had an email today saying if anyone in the house tests positive then dc's should stay home for 10 days. That's fair enough. But it goes on to say if anyone else subsequently comes down with virus the isolation period should start again at day one. So a family of 5 could mean several weeks off school.

That could be a nightmare couldn’t it. A relative has Covid now, having got it from her young daughter, but the gestation period before she got it was pretty much 10 days, and she’d already been isolating at home with her daughter for 10 days. And now, nearly a week after she started with it, her younger child seems to have started with symptoms - so it can take quite a while to get round everyone

I think I meant incubation period not gestation period

Hmm, mumsnet stopped sending me notifications for this thread - I can see I've missed a lot. Congrats to those dc getting offers and to those who have lost cats. My two are lurking by the catflap waiting for the post-firework hour when it's safe to let them out again - soon, hopefully.

Arrangements have been made for dd to sit her mocks next week in a classroom by herself instead of going into the main hall. She says she thinks she'd be OK in the main hall, but best to be on the safe side, I reckon. So a weekend of revision beckons...

That’s really good @ZittiEBuoni and definitely better she’s in a separate room. Both my kids did their recent exams in a separate room and found it really helpful.

I’m definitely in the over-infested/spreadsheet loving camp here too! I’ve already started looking at uni courses for year 11 ds! They both ask me though, so I do need to be informed! (And I enjoy it 😂)

@Heifer Have plenty of lovely friends who think my supporting of my children is too much and laugh at my DH and me for our open days and crazy trips across the UK for the kids. These are people who have invested in tutoring for 11+ and grammar schools or private schooling or none of these things but still can't see the benefit of being better informed about what is happening in the children's lives and expect them to go it alone for a big uni decision when most can't even make their bed or cook (mine can). We have done this uni process twice already and doing the open days and research helped. When DS2 said no to uni and was not interested in all our efforts at engagement @icanbewhatiwantI after months we suggested re thinking and writing down about what he liked ...nothing to do with his A levels ...it took to the edge of December we did the research on the best unis and booked open days but he found something he liked and we helped and he applied and he graduated this year - in a great job in his chosen industry. By the first Christmas the DS who never spoke about school came home and did not stop chatting about his uni course for 45 minutes. He says uni was one of the best decisions ever! DH is one of the brightest people I know and has done very very well with career but parents were disengaged with academia and school and as a result never went to an open day and never to uni. Hold your head up high - I think kids make the transition from child to adult between 14-21 and a good uni experience will make them independent - your job is to support them make the transition. never feel embarrassed. (Think I may have had too much wine !) Glad I came back to mumsnet after years away - so nice to see people who really care about their kids.

@ExcessiveIyDisorganised Can i just point out that sometimes when mum friends give the 'Oh! Bath...i don't know what he's doing', it is sometimes a way of throwing you off the topic if they don't want to divulge too much. Of course they want to know all about what YOUR dc is doing, but act all casual and uninvolved when actually the reverse is the case.
Your df sounds like someone I know who does this..they haven't been to any open days, oh! they've been to one but I don't know which one!..then we bumped into them at an open day .

Our dog has been a quivering wreck with the fireworks tonight and I am expecting the sane again tomorrow. I thought of Nelly-cat and that she was spared Fireworks Night.

I wonder if govt is aware that lots of isolating students no longer get on line alternatives. I am sure everyone thinks about how much emphasis there was on missing time at school for a holiday etc, that it would have a significant impact on grades. I think it would be good for my DS to do exams, but I don't think it will be good for the most disadvantaged.

@crazycrofter my doubled vaccinated sibling took 9 days from other half getting it despite isolating together for the whole time.

@icanbewhatiwant who sent you the advice to change isolation rules?

@Shimy we have friends lots of them who have left it entirely to their 6th form student kids who are finding it totally overwhelming - we have helped 2 students from DDs year at a good grammar with selecting courses and unis because parents truly disinterested and kids in free fall. I agree some parents bluff - we also saw a family who claimed no open days at an open day which was so funny :)))

So peculiar, the need to pretend not to be interested in your DC's future, I can't get my head around that at all.
Thank you @Monkey2001, I thought exactly the same.

I have done much more for this one than my older ones, and regret that. But I had a really stressful job when they were at this stage, and now I don’t. And also, this one really didn’t have a clue. The whole careleaver thing is an absolute unstandardised minefield, I have had to correct the school a few times, they don’t understand contextual offers or student finance in our circumstances. It’s a shame, they really would have helped if the had told us about things like the Sutton Trust stuff in year 12, but they didn’t know.
Sometimes there is an appreciation of what I have done, mostly I have to stay fairly low-key. Do others find their teenagers can be turned off something that would be perfect for them by parental enthusiasm?

@Shimy there are certainly some mums I know who would do that but this one is a close friend who I've known since they were both babies so it seems unlikely. Also her DS is a LOT more academic than mine and probably a lot more capable of organising himself too so they are probably not going to miss deadlines or similar, she wasn't picking my brain either (we do pick each others brains). Anyway we'll see. DH and I have always said we'd see her DS on The Apprentice one day .

Do others find their teenagers can be turned off something that would be perfect for them by parental enthusiasm?
Yes! I have to really rein myself in. If I say anything like, "it's really good, you'll really like it" it's an instant turn off.