Thread 17 - Corona Cohort Summer Vacation to Yr 13, Finding Freedom?

[Orangecinnamon21]

PLACEHOLDER FOR NEW THREAD ...PREVIOUSLY TO BE FOUND IN SECONDARY EDUCATION

Thanks for the thread.

Thank you for the new thread .

DS is currently socialising with friends in a field. This is his general preferred thing to do in the evening when there’s nice weather.

He’s been getting mock results back - just got one geography paper left to get. Has had A for maths, A for Religious Studies and either A or A for Geography.

Feels like a while until the end of school - Friday 23rd. Although it’s all online.

Driving test booked for 13th September. I think he’ll be all right.

Thank you @Orangecinnamon21

Thanks for the new thread @Orangecinnamon21. Agree it somehow feels scary to be in FE even though we discussed it ;-)

DS has handed in first draft of PS and EPQ last week with feedback due on both before the end of term. I’m trying to get him to sort some sort of work experience over the summer but he’s dragging his feet (& obv it’s late to be starting). I think he’s found most of the obvious online stuff and is planning some MOOCs but any suggestions for work experience for comp sci/data science type space that you’ve come across gratefully received!!

Dh and I are going away overnight on Sunday and leaving the dcs to sort themselves/get to school on time on monday. Wish us all luck ;-)

@AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore Good luck with that!! We left DS a few weeks ago, five alarms did not wake him and he missed the only bus to school. He had exams so we paid £35 for a taxi!!

[quote 20newnames]**@AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore Good luck with that!! We left DS a few weeks ago, five alarms did not wake him and he missed the only bus to school. He had exams so we paid £35 for a taxi!![/quote]
Sounds like mine. When I leave DH in charge a lift is always required, I can't imagine DS2 getting himself up. DS1 managed to wake himself up in time once he got to university, so it is another one of those things which we probably just need to be brave enough to let them do - a few lates and their bodies will learn, but we feel responsible for them getting in on time, so it is tricky.

@AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore I hope they don't do what DS2 did the first time he was left home alone for a night - consumed a bottle of red wine and a couple of packets of Oreos, which all came back up all over the sofa in our basement. He was lucky that he had some very sensible friends with him who carried him up 3 flights of stairs to his bedroom (even though they were half his size!) and kept watch over him as they were concerned he would be sick again and choke on his vomit. He has been much less interested in alcohol since then!

Counting down now with daily LF tests and PCRs booked for DD ahead of weekend’s potential departure for a week. But double vaccinated now at least. She dares not allow herself to get excited in case she tests positive, or Spain gets placed on Red list, as cases rise and curfews put in place. We are mentally prepared for the fall out if plans don’t pan out, sadly.

Thanks for the new thread, Orange.

Well done to all DCs getting fantastic results in mocks. I’m a bit overwhelmed by how many on here are getting all A/A*s. If I’m honest, it makes me feel very pessimistic about DD.

On the subject of driving tests and new drivers, how does anyone else feel about their DCs being driven by new drivers?
DD’s friend messaged her last night to see if she wanted to go for a drive with him. He passed his test on Tuesday and actually managed to reverse into a car and damage it the same day
He messaged at 9.30pm last night and said he’d pick her up within the hour. When he hasn’t arrived by 11pm, we told DD it was a no-go, as we weren’t keen on them being out and about at that time (because of his lack of driving experience, and therefore feeling like we needed to wait up for her).
DD stormed off to bed and is furious with us still this morning.

Are we being over-protective?

I’d feel the same @Alsoplayspiccolo although dd had a lift to the gym after school with a new driver which we obviously knew nothing about. But driving late at night seems extra risky.

Don’t worry about all the As! Mumsnet does seem a bit unrepresentative in that sense! Ds definitely won’t be looking at As when the time comes. But there’s lots of options out there for kids getting Bs and Cs.

Thanks, crazy - reassuring to know that we aren’t being overprotective.
It was the driving at night part that worried us, particularly as they were planning to head to Mc D’s, which is quite a few miles away on fast roads.
We said ok initially, but by 11pm, the thought of going to bed, wondering what time we could expect her home didn’t feel right.

I’ve tried to talk to her about it this morning, but she just rolled her eyes and stone walled me.

I’m really struggling with it all at the moment

@Alsoplayspiccolo not overprotective, you are definitely right! I would agree that daytime short journey feels safer.

We had a dilemma which caused stress at the weekend. DS2 wanted his GF to stay the night for the first time after the football on Sunday night. We said no because he has registration at 8:30 on Monday morning, so it was clearly a bad idea, but he pushed to ask when she would be allowed to stay. I don't know what to say because I would allow it if I thought her parents would be happy about it, but I don't want her to push her parents to a decision they are not happy about because we have said it is OK. Not an issue with previous GF as she was very firm with boundaries. He says it is unfair because DS1's GF moved in at the beginning of lock-down when they had only been together for 5 months (but they were both 19). Any thoughts, particularly from anyone with DD?

I’m a bit overwhelmed by how many on here are getting all A/As. If I’m honest, it makes me feel very pessimistic about DD.*

Don't worry Also, she can definitely improve. DS is on BCD at the moment, which I wasn't expecting at all after his GCSE results. It's been a tough year, but he is starting to realise what he needs to do and is aiming for AAB. Not sure how realistic that is but I think all we can do is buckle up and prepare for turbulence! Don't know why I'm so cheery about it, I have a DD going into Y11 as well

On the subject of teenaged drivers, I would have been very nervous of that situation too. She might be furious but you kept her safe so that's a win.

Also looking at BBC absolutely maximum here.

That's a tough one @Monkey2001 but I think it's absolutely fair enough to say not on a school night, and that you want to talk to the GF's parents first to make sure they're happy. (I'm sure if he invited her to spend the night and they weren't happy, they would just say no - I would. But it's considerate to consult them so that they're not put in that position and cast as the bad guys.)

[quote 20newnames]@AndwhenyougetthereFoffsomemore Good luck with that!! We left DS a few weeks ago, five alarms did not wake him and he missed the only bus to school. He had exams so we paid £35 for a taxi!![/quote]
I'd have killed DS f he did that!

Also you were absolutely right, I would not have allowed it either. I have unwittingly bought DS a car that means he can't drive his friends around if/when he passes his test. I live in a super hilly area - big hills - and DS has a tiny 1l car that can barely get up them with just us two in the car. I allowed him to drop his friend home from the park (only 5 minutes away) with me in the car the other day and it was hilarious, I almost had to get out and push! There is no way him and his giant friends will be able to go anywhere in it.

So the comments on DCs being allowed to stay home alone has come up here too. We have a week's holiday planned in August to an English coastal town. We went to the same place last year and DS1 was a miserable so and so. He does not want to come with us this year and is pleading to be left here. I don't want him to stay home as I don't trust him one iota to not trash the place but also recognise that being away from his mates in a place that he doesn't want to be feels like hell to a teenager. WWYD?

These issues are so tricky. You feel you know in advance/in theory what you’d do, but then the time comes and it’s nowhere near as easy! Ds (year 10) has suddenly decided he hates being home as it’s boring and he just wants to be out with friends all the time - at the gym, or at fast food places, which is ok, and then just wandering round on foot/taking buses across the city ‘for fun’. The last couple of days he’s got back at about 8.30/9 (he goes to the gym straight from school). He doesn’t answer his phone either. And I can’t go looking for him as his friends live in different parts of the city so he could be anywhere! He doesn’t understand what’s wrong with it as he’s just hanging out…

Re being in FE ... aren't these threads normally in HE?

Doesn't bother me at all, tbh, because I know where we all are but DS1's thread went to HE.

Monkey how old is the girlfriend? If year12 and the contraception talk has been had and you’ve checked with the parents and it’s not a school night. Oh the joys of being a parent!

I don't mind mine wandering about with friends etc or not knowing exactly where they are, but not answering their phone or replying to a text gets them a huge bollocking and dire threats. They haven't done it twice yet.

I know I should be / need to be fine with it but I have to admit I find the thought of DC having sex a bit weird and am secretly hoping they save that for their uni years No gf here yet as far as I know, although DS does play his cards close to his chest.

Just, I would probably leave him behind but with great trepidation.

Re @Monkey2001's issue, I might want to wait until they're 18. But like I said, it's easy to have principles in theory, but reality feels quite different! @JustHereWithMyPopcorn my dd's best friend is refusing to go on their family holiday next week and I think they've decided to leave her behind. It's going to happen at some point isn't it.... dd isn't thrilled about our holiday either, especially as it's the last week of the holidays when 'everyone will be organising gatherings'. I think it might be easier when she doesn't come as I'd then let ds bring his best mate and he'd be happier too!

After everything, my son is actually really happy in himself....I guess that matters most of all! Heres to a positive Summer.

@Alsoplayspiccolo

Thanks for the new thread, Orange.

Well done to all DCs getting fantastic results in mocks. I’m a bit overwhelmed by how many on here are getting all A/A*s. If I’m honest, it makes me feel very pessimistic about DD.

On the subject of driving tests and new drivers, how does anyone else feel about their DCs being driven by new drivers?
DD’s friend messaged her last night to see if she wanted to go for a drive with him. He passed his test on Tuesday and actually managed to reverse into a car and damage it the same day
He messaged at 9.30pm last night and said he’d pick her up within the hour. When he hasn’t arrived by 11pm, we told DD it was a no-go, as we weren’t keen on them being out and about at that time (because of his lack of driving experience, and therefore feeling like we needed to wait up for her).
DD stormed off to bed and is furious with us still this morning.

Are we being over-protective?

Hi my son got Es but is predicted CCD. I will just be happy he gets that far!

I would be hesitant about that too tbh. Its so hard this in-between adult/child thing. I'm struggling!