Thread 17 - Corona Cohort Summer Vacation to Yr 13, Finding Freedom?

[Orangecinnamon21]

PLACEHOLDER FOR NEW THREAD ...PREVIOUSLY TO BE FOUND IN SECONDARY EDUCATION

I sympathise too, at 54 I seem to be over the worst meno-wise and it hasn't been too bad physically, but I did have a few years of low-level anxiety / depression in my late 40s.

I've been fortunate to have carried on working outside the home apart from a month or so in the first lockdown, which has kept things fairly normal here (DH has also worked outside the home throughout). We are a family with lots of hobbies, and although I worry that I live a bit too much through the DCs (sports, schools - because they both have SENs I am more engaged than I would be otherwise) but I also have a pretty good social life and hobbies of my own - I have an allotment, I exercise (not enough), and I am part of the Woolly Hugs community which started on MN.

I think I'm possibly the oldest on here at 57. I had 3 kids in my 40's and my first at 35 - so pretty late..I'm on hrt and have been for the last couple of years and it really helps me. I must admit I still find my kids challenging though.

It's lovely to have this supportive thread and it's nice to realise I'm not the only one suffering teenage angst & parental highs.

I really really need to do some exercise, it's so good for my state of mind. I was really active last year but hated the lockdown at the start of this year and haven't got going again. Too bloody hot this week though!

51 here and this resonates. I had a hysterectomy leaving my ovaries and have no idea where I am. Stopped taking Cissus for joint pain and it seems it did more than I thought so going straight back on when it arrives.

Was picking up DS’s stuff recently, turned off main road too early and ended up down a single lane track in the middle of nowhere and nearly burst into tears. I definitely get anxious now whereas I didn’t really before. Can’t do the exercise I used to really enjoy before. One good thing is the random feeling of rage have subsided.

Feel at a huge crossroads with my life and very aware empty nest looming have had some practice much earlier than anticipated which focused the mind.. We have decided to move as feel we are in the wrong place which is exciting and scary at the same time and I have plans for a small project I have wanted to do. Just need a buyer and things can move forward. iI’ve seen a few women whose lives really shrunk around this time, they lost confidence and never got it back . Also seen some for whom the opposite happened and I want to be like them.

I'm so relieved to come back on and see your posts - I was really worried after I had posted it I had been far too personal and would scare you all off! If I had been able to delete it there and then I would have.

Glad I've posted now. Not that you all feeling like me is good obviously but it's nice to know people get it.

I like to laugh about it normally (always like to laugh usually) but I'm just so flat! and finding it hard to write anything funny, keep your witty comments coming though as they do make me smirk.

If I have 1 more eye roll from DD 1 when I mention anything menapausal related I may just lose my temper and tut at her. Its too hot to do anything else.

@Heifer 'the numbness of feeling' sums it for me. I'm mid-50's and haven't had many of the horrendous physical symptoms of menopause though my face has wrinkles morphing into crevices.

I could feel life shrinking in lockdown and see DS would see be off soon so took a p/t job last year. It really helped me look outwards again.

I think I am the youngest on here (37) so thankfully not feeling peri menopausal just yet but I’m the same regarding feeling like I’m living through my teens. Have been so excited looking through all the uni prospectus’ and trying to get DS to narrow them down and discover the different cities we can go and visit.
I’m envious and excited for him (more than he is!)

I don’t really have any hobbies but I absolutely going to concerts, so of course there has been none of that for a while although I have been lucky to go out to work almost the whole time (since June last year)

@Fferny1- sorry but I reckon the ‘old gimmer’ mantel is mine
That said, I shall sit back and wait for someone to admit to being older than me

Yes with you all. I'm sure I've been in peri menopause for a few years. I actually had hormone injections that simulate menopause when I was 28. I had hot flushes back then and gained 2 stone in 6 months. Now 20 years later I am getting similar again, but not such a hard hit in one go. It was very intense and sudden back then. But I know it's going to last much longer this time (I only had injections for 5 months as it would have been irreversible) I actually refused my 6 injection as I couldn't stand the memo symptoms. Unfortunately I can't say no this time.

I need to get out more...I quite like my own company or being home. So I quite liked lockdown, though ds3 was very challenging. DH is very different, he craves the company of other people. He's retired and all he wants to do is spend his days visiting people for coffee and cake, so he found lockdown a lot more difficult social wise.

DH is probably the oldest DH here. He's old (to me anyway 😂)

Oh Heifer that made me laugh so much. Only at dinner this evening I made a small comment (can't actually remember what it was now) but something re brain fog and DD commented "Oh mum not blaming it on peri menopause again are you" and then she laughed and said it's moved on from me mentioning "oh it's just period related" if I was feeling anxious or angsty. They do notice but it's actually good. We're human and I make allowances for DD and her monthly related moments when she gets them so it works both ways. I think the eye rolls are probably embarrassment as they don't know how to handle it. I'm sure I probably used to do the same with my mum although their generation hid it so well.
Did you ever watch that episode of The Royale Family and Barbara is having a hot flush and her family keep commenting on her red face and asking what's up etc. She's all "Just leave it" through gritted teeth.

My Dh is 67 @icanbe. Does he beat yours?😁
@Proggymat so you're the wise elder 🙏

@Fferny1- I didn’t say owt about being wise. T’was just a comment on length of teeth

Next thread will have to be called menopausal mums who happen to have Y13 DC! Loving the sisterhood, apologies to anyone who might object to the thread going off track!

One of DS's favourite fitness YouTubers advised his followers to talk to their mums about how important HRT is, so he did, bless him!

@Fferny1 yes...but not by much. He's 15 years older than me. Something I wouldn't recommend 🤣

Mine is 10 years older.
I wouldn't recommend it either ...
Especially not with 4 kids, 3 of whom are teenagers....

Well I'm fascinated by the contextual offer thing. I followed the link for Bristol and it turns out that dds college is one of those. It gets great results?! However, unlike others in the area it offers courses to all academic abilities which I presume means that overall results are lower. It's also a very mixed area.

Yes the Bristol schools list is bonkers. DS is at a state school sixth form which regularly hits things like top 10 state schools lists and is in an affluent area. Gets great results but does take all abilities. Yep, it’s on the list. Not complaining though! It’s the only place he’s vaguely eligible for a contextual offer so we’ll take it.

Perimenopausal here too. Flat emotions etc, never been particularly emotional but this is something different altogether 😕

I’m envious and excited for him (more than he is!)

I am like this - I have to be very careful to tone it down because he thinks he doesn't need to worry about it for ages yet and that I am way too excitable, or as he puts it, "nuts". I will have my work cut out pretending to be all chilled when we go to Exeter next week.

Can i add to our collective symptoms, imposter syndrome at work? I've got a busy few days coming up which might lead to some really nice freelance work - instead of getting on with it I'm spending way too much time on MN because what if this is the job where everyone finds out I'm not very good? 😬
Just had a chat about it with DD and she was dismayed because "I'm like that with maths tests but I was hoping I'd grow out of it" 😂

Can I join the fog of soon-to-be Yr13 mums in peri anxiety?

DS's school also on Bristol list although probably deserved in this case. He has no interest in Bristol, though!

Both DS's schools in Bristol list, but neither on Warwick list.

If anyone is interested in Newcastle, you can check home postcode eligibility here. Anything city centre-ish likely to qualify, even if DC is at a private school. www.ncl.ac.uk/schools/partners/eligibility/#eligibilitycriteria

Ah menopause - a distant memory… I’m 54 next month but had an early menopause at 37 the year after DS was born. I think he was my last viable egg! I do feel as though I’ve aged over the last few years. I started an OU degree at 40 and loved it - took 4.5 years - I honestly don’t feel as though I would have the brain power and memory to do it now.

I’ve learned so much from this thread. Neither DH nor I did university - he dropped out after a term and see above for me. Without this, I wouldn’t have a clue about the process.

Have had a look at contextual offers but our school area doesn’t seem to qualify for anything. DS waiting to hear if he is on Lancaster access programme - he qualifies through state school and a couple of over heads but not sure if he has enough going against him to get in!

DH wrote long letter to our local MP re exams next year and had a promising reply where he is going to take it further and get back to us - Tory MP. Usually just get fobbed off so this was quite a surprise!

Two more days of online year 12 here. Can’t believe how close to the end we are. Quite frightening. Just desperate for DS to get to where he wants to be, as we didn’t get the chance.

DH is retired due to a severe injury but younger than me. I’ve been WFH and am part time but beyond that we have carried on as normal and getting out and about every day we possibly can. No holidays or anything but we live in Yorkshire so lots of places close by luckily.

Just joining in the peri chat! I crashed into huge anxiety about 18mths/2 years ago - combined with night sweats and weight gain but it was the mental side that I really struggled with. HRT really transformed things - and in lockdown applied for a new job role - change of area and in many ways a big drop but it’s been great: lots of new stuff to learn, lots that scary and lots of different types of responsibility. It’s been a huge boost for me, even if I’m not sure how long I’ll stick it! I recommend shaking yourself up a bit (but drugs first!!)