Thread 17 - Corona Cohort Summer Vacation to Yr 13, Finding Freedom?

[Orangecinnamon21]

PLACEHOLDER FOR NEW THREAD ...PREVIOUSLY TO BE FOUND IN SECONDARY EDUCATION

That happened to my friend a few years ago, her two DC were close in age and overlapped in uni, the year they overlapped was the year her DH got made redundant but their income was assessed on the previous year (he was a high earner). It was extremely difficult for them.

That is another problem no account is taken of how many DCs you have in uni at the same time. We will most likely have an overlapping year.

We have been saving for a while...knowing about the costs in advance due to working at a Uni. The problem is that, as MSE Martin points out the govt don't advertise the parental 'top up' component to the loan very well.
The other problem is we have taken a bit of a gamble and put all the savings in Dd Stocks and Shares child ISA. She gets access to it all next July. I really hope she is going to be financially sensible with it...who knows! She is definitely put off by institutions in expensive areas and talking about making sure she has a job so she doesn't have to dip into it too much. But she inevitably will...that is what it was there for, or a car or a moving deposit if she went straight into work. I just have to hope she doesn't blow it all...I can't see it

@EverythingDelegated “just the fact that we are on this thread helping each other along makes a big difference”

It really does. My DH and I didn’t go to uni so this thread has been a huge help. I wouldn’t have even thought to start looking around universities now (pandemic allowing) and I think the college must start talking about it with them in yr 13 as DS has had very little info so far

DC broke up at the start of the month. We've just got back from our holiday in Norfolk including a mooch around the UEA campus when we visited the Sainsburys Centre. Norwich is looking very attractive if I was a potential student - apart from being difficult to get to from anywhere else!

Actual Y12 results - BBCD and predicted grades of AABC (for the moment) making it easy to decide which subject do DS to drop. Everyone getting below an actual C are required to do mandatory retakes the first day back in Sept (unless they are dropping the subject) or they decide to voluntarily retake in order to improve their predicted UCAS grade. DS is retaking Maths since he got a C. No huge concerns here since I expect doing 3 subjects instead of 4 next year will mean at least an improvement of a grade or two.

Y12 have had a meetup at the beach and a big overnight party yesterday at someone's farm - DS took his pop up tent. Latitude is on this weekend and he is going with some friends. A handful of his friends managed to get a vaccine at a walk in clinic this week; he hasn't. Feeling ambivalent about it but they have missed out on so much socially that I just want him to have some normality and fun. Driving test next month - I bought expensive 2 months' insurance to cover him on my car so I'm taking him out every day to practise.

Re insurance, too late for @sansou for now, but if you get quotes for your car with DC from Comparethemarket or similar I found it much cheaper than the add on policies (£273 fully comp for the year with 2 DS learners), but amending an existing policy is expensive. It is possible to have 2 policies running at the same time, which is what I will do for DS1 next month as he has passed, but will be going back to university at the beginning of September so only need 6 weeks with him on policy.

@Orangecinnamon21 I worry about that with the DCs money too, mine are sensible so far but its so easy for friends to influence them and what seems like a decent amount now probably won't when it comes to cars, rent etc. Our DCs have stocks and shares child trust funds which will convert to ISAs but also have some cash savings in their names, I worry about the latter more as its easily accessible.

I am taking DD for her second vaccine at a walk in clinic this week.
DS is over 17.9 plus DH was shielding last time round , i’m thinking they are now reasonably likely to do him as well?

Fingers crossed @FoolsAssassin!
@EverythingDelegated glad it not just me. I have come to realise how tight Dd can be with her own earnings, hopefully she will view this similar. She also is a tad obsessed with getting into the housing market asap (we rented for years). I give her a small allowance for essentials, birthday presents etc. She gets me to order stuff off Amazon and creates all sorts of drama when I have the audacity to ask her to actually pay me for the items

Fools best of luck with the vaccinations.

Fingers crossed @FoolsAssassin I would have thought they will do your DS after the news yesterday.

For us, DH earns significantly more than me. I am full time but only just over minimum wage. DS will get minimum loan and we will probably have one year crossover in 3 years from now when DS2 goes to uni too.
We are hoping to buy our first home in the next year but trying to calculate how much we can afford to spend monthly on it! Mortgage will be large due to living in SW and the fact we won’t be buying a starter 1/2 bed home! I find it annoying that mortgage repayments aren’t considered when applying for the loan.

Rather worryingly just been reading a tes article which states that next years A level cohort will be the hardest hit by COVID yet as our DC didn't get exam based GCSEs. Seems they'd like to give the GCSE for next year cohort a reduced content adaptation but not A level as we haven't done formal exams. We have still been affected by teaching time but they seem to think that at a level they get study periods and that will be enough to study any missing content - we get no more study periods than any other A level year and have COVID disruption to boot. Hope they give their heads a wobble and catch on to themselves. I fear my hair will be snowy when this is over if it's ever over

@Orangecinnamon21 Dd is the same, constantly ordering stuff off Amazon with my card, often it’s toiletry type stuff which she thinks I ought to pay for - but when it stretches to things like hair dye I do object!

Whereas ds is stubbornly independent and likes to be able to pay for things himself.

I’m really glad GCSE year are getting reduced content as my ds’ grades actually went down between Jan and July this year. He couldn’t concentrate at all on online learning and had loads of isolation periods in the summer term too. I do think at 14 he’s a lot less mature and able/willing to catch up on his own. But our year 12s have also missed out too. DD’s class had to ask the Psychology teacher to slow down during lockdown and they’ve not covered as much as they normally would.

Re A levels next year, I would say "this mess is too big and too deep and too tall.....". Ughhh!

@Monkey2001

Re A levels next year, I would say "this mess is too big and too deep and too tall.....". Ughhh!

And may I add: we can't go over it, we can't go under it, oh no - we've got to go through it.

Squelch, squelch, squelch, squelch

Stumble Trip, Stumble Trip, Stumble Trip!

Just as a caveat to that, most GCSEs have not had any content cut.

But nothing for A levels is poor. Watch this space I suppose.

Splat

DD is now saying she doesn't want to do the EPQ as she doesn't want to be working on it over the summer. She has also fairly recently discovered that she will have to do a presenation and she wasn't aware... This is going to be hard to handle as we both believe that she needs it to get into the unis she is after as she is studying Biology, Psychology and PE rather than Maths, Chemistry etc. It gave her an edge and it was going to be something related to Biology, it is also something she could write about on her PS. DH suggested we leave it for another week or so (she she has 3 week off completely) before mentioning it again. Problem is that if we don't push her a bit, she will moan later that she didnt' do it and we should have made her! How do you make a 17.5 yr old do anythign anyway!?

She has just gone out to a friend of a friends house, mixed group, and I love the fact that the lad (well his parents I'm) have requested everyone takes a LFT beforehand and takes a photo of it to send to him before they arrive. Am guessing they are off on holidays soon :-)

I messed up my finances this year as I did work a lot more than usual for 4 months and the accountant told me off for paying myself too much as income and not dividends - this will massively effect the maintenance loan for DD I think. Even worse is that DH has literally just quit his job and will be working full time for our company with a much income, so we will definitely have to apply with 19/20s figures then reapply with 20/21s which will be much lower. I really don't want tour lack of finances to impact where DD applies but the difference between say York and Lancaster are £2.5 - £3k for the 1st year!

DD is worried about the festivals now - they have twigged that Park Life is going to be a problem potentially as 2 of the group has to be 18+ so one of them will use their fake ID (well it's real just not theirs), but of course they then can't prove they have been doubled jabbed - even if they have as not in their name!

Also nightclubs will be an issue too - although I'm pleased about that as the usual right of passage nightclub here on the wirral has become 21+ so the teenagers now go over to Liverpool which I'm not keen on the idea yet.

At least she is being able to go out and meet friends, going to the beach, just enjoying life again :-) Well at least until she remembers she has driving theory test in 2 weeks, EPQ (hopefully) Personal Statement to write, notes to write up etc etc and working with DH gardening and designing when it's not so hot.

Totally agree with those saying how useful this group has been. It's been brilliant. I didn't know anything about university (didn't go) although DH did. I've always found my people on MN - since DD was a toddler and I learnt to potty tria via Cod, then in the bar with a few people that I am still friends with on Social Media. Then Primary, Secondary and now this thread :-)

I rarely venue outside these days ;-) ha that's pretty true of real life too but I am trying to change that - pushing myself to get out there again.

Covid arrived at the same time as being perimenapausal so it's been a struggle at times. Anxieties that didn't exist before, aches and pains, grumpyness then numbness of feeling. No highs or lows just meh.

This needs to change as life will pass me by if I'm not careful. I don't want to live my life through DD and I worry that I am starting to do that. I need to get back out their and start some new hobbies.

What do you all do for yourselves?

@Heifer, I hadn't thought about fake ID not being backed up by vaccine records! I think my DS will be happy to start with pubs, they are 18 months behind the normal track to social life with clubbing etc. All DS1's friends seemed to have fake ID.

I am there with you on needing to jump out of the covid shell and get a bit of life again!

This needs to change as life will pass me by if I'm not careful.

This rings true for me too. We have all become a bit too used to being at home all the time, apart from DD who is out every day. Need to get out there and persuade DS to do the same. We have a plan to go and look at Exeter next week so that's something.

Heifer, you’ve described perfectly my state of mind this year.
At 51, I’m well into peri menopause and currently wondering if I’ve started the last stretch (7 weeks and counting so far).
I feel like I’ve got a grey (not black) cloud hanging over me a lot of the time; as you say, no highs, no lows, just meh.
I never sleep I disturbed, I have to make a huge effort to want to do things, and, worst of all, Ive become scared about travelling - having always been happy to drive all over the country on my own, I now find myself having anxiety attacks on the motorway. (The thought of DD moving to uni hours away and me having to drive there to see her etc makes me feel hugely anxious. 😢)

When the GP surgeries go back to face to face appointments, I’m hoping to discuss HRT or at least something like beta blockers to help, because I’m not read to give up life as I knew it yet.

Heifer and Picollo I know exactly what you mean. I'm living vicariously through Ds1, enjoying the disadvantaged KPMG. How sad is that, that I've got nothing more interesting going on in my own life!

Heifer what you say resonates with me too. I have to push myself to go and do things outside of my comfort zone - things that I'd have not given a 2nd thought to when younger. We have a nice little house and garden and I love spending time here since COVID struck that I'm getting too comfy with this way of life now.
Ive had to go with the old adage 'fake it til you make it' and it really has helped. Ive started going back to my craft sessions I used to attend and became a COVID Marshall back in February so have been doing weekly or so shifts at different hubs and settings and really pushed my comfort barriers. Am slowly getting back to the gym and even signed up for an adult online course that one I wished I'd never done as bitten off more than I can chew I think but now that I'm emerging a bit more, my parents and parents in law have suddenly aged and become a lot more dependant so I'm pulled between them and DD who needs me to help her with Uni stuff and feel rather overwhelmed to be honest. This heat is not helping at all either as I'm in peri stage too.
I get you with not wanting to travel far distances anymore Piccolo as that also sums me up too.
Thank goodness for this thread and you lovely ladies (and gents if there are any) to natter with and exchange moans and laughs and tips etc.

Oh the cruelty of nature hey? Gives us angsty teenagers at a time when we are all fragile with everything menopause brings (not peri here, full on, 3 years in and don’t sleep beyond 3 hours, as one of the MANY symptoms).

To helping each other out of the anxiety trap. I think we’re doing a great job and if not getting full credit in RL, need to acknowledge it here. Gaby Logan summed it up menopause well this week on R5...