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Further education

You'll find discussions about A Levels and universities on our Further Education forum.

Class of '18 now in 2019. blimey.

949 replies

OhYouBadBadKitten · 14/01/2019 10:53

hang on....

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ShanghaiDiva · 11/03/2019 11:15

Ds will be back on 18th March for 5 weeks. He has some tutoring jobs lined up (IB exams are in May so some students are starting to panic)and we will go to Malaysia for a week so am sure the time will zoom by. He has a job over the summer holiday so will not come home again until September.

Nettleskeins · 11/03/2019 13:36

I appear to have a Gina Ford dog. He is napping in his crate at the moment, and he had a nap after breakfast too...It is poignant to think of my real life baby at a rave Confused but I suspect he is doing rather the same as Ursula's dd at present. He said he went to a nightclub with 23 French girls, started dancing and they all vanished, leaving him alone (with three male friends] Then he espied one of his many second cousins who at are the "other" university who he is usually much too scared to talk to, but took courage and said hello to her across the dance floor.

We had a nice walk in the park this morning. Met a Portuguese Podengo and a pug.

UrsulaPandress · 11/03/2019 13:45

BastardSpaniel is seriously annoying me at the moment. After his bad back incident last week, he suddenly developed another pain on Saturday which rendered him barely able to weight bear on his metal leg, prevented him from eating, was accompanied by some quivering and a good deal of whining and moaning. So off to the vets we went again, and apart from a stiffness in his mildly displaced hip, nothing could be found, so carry on with the painkillers and add in some tramadol, which is not licensed for dogs, for good measure.

He continued to wail and whine and stare at me pleadingly so I had to take to my room two floors up until the tramadol kicked in and he went to sleep. I cannot abide the wailing. My dad got rid of my siamese cat when I was a wee lass as her wailing and whining had me in tears all the time. (And giving the cat to one of his mates from work resulted in still more tears from me).

Come Sunday he was back to his normal self and trying to drag me every which way on the lead. £45 that trip to vet the cost me. Grrrrr. And he has a bad back check up today. Acupuncture has been mentioned Hmm.

Nettleskeins · 11/03/2019 13:57

Little T is a terribly expressive moaner and groaner - he likes to grumble himself to sleep. however his yawns are enchanting. This morning he managed a low menacing snarl - I think there is a mouse somewhere in the wainscott. Poor spaniel Ursula, joint/bone pain is not much fun.

NoHaudinMaWheest · 11/03/2019 16:13

That's a shame about the university flat hardwick.

Dd's exams are spread right through the exam period so she doesn't finish until the end of May. At least we get our money's worth out of halls though.
She is struggling with an essay at the moment. Having done none essay writing subjects for A level she has kind of lost the knack.

Nettleskeins · 11/03/2019 16:48

Hardwick I didn't say anything about the buy to let but the thought definitely crossed my mind for ds1, as it is an area that would be a nice place to live, even if ds wasn't at university, and the rents are very high compared to the house prices (which are still very high tbh). However, ds1 was adamant he wanted to live in halls and there is lots of halls accommodation, so my golden investment dream was scuppered..and having had a flat from my early twenties I remember how life was narrowed by having to be a "homeowner" and do endless diy so young when you should be exploring other avenues/interests. Ds is really not into any sort of housekeeping, and it would put pressure on the other kids to go to same uni, as it would be so "convenient", so I haven't pursued the idea. But if you are thinking of a town which is not just a student town, but a great town in its own right and possibly a good choice for your other children to do their degrees, perhaps it is a different story.

UrsulaPandress · 11/03/2019 16:53

I toyed with the buying idea but I couldn’t stand the hassle. And it would put pressure on dd to act as the responsible one. Not that she isn’t but it could form an imbalance.

Nettleskeins · 11/03/2019 16:54

Haudin ds1 still swears by PEE in his essays, plus an introduction and a conclusion. I know it is a bluffer's method, but done properly when you aren't woffling, can be very effective! I think as your mind gets more sophisticated, essays get more troublesome because of that whole "developing the argument" requirement. But if you are starting out, perhaps go back to PEE. [I used it for ds2's EHCP Shock it was the only way through the wreckage, but the Parent Partnership advisor had to remind me, I was going down the long sophisticated discussion route, which didn't cut it].

UrsulaPandress · 11/03/2019 16:57

PEE?

TheFirstOHN · 11/03/2019 17:31

Writing essays is one thing DS1 can do. Possibly the three essay subjects at A-level helped.

Nettleskeins · 11/03/2019 17:32

point
evidence
explanation/analysis

Grin

pup is asleep again in his crate at my feet. I am in my own personal crate wrapped in duvet (sofa) This is the life. no essays ever again. thank the lord.

Hardwickwhite · 11/03/2019 20:56

The burden it would put on DD to not just be the tidy one, and responsible, but also to stay in the city and complete her course if she didn't want to is certainly a consideration. DH has rather unsettled me by suggesting we could look at it as a retirement home for ourselves (definitely a city we would consider if we moved away from where we currently live). I don't feel old enough to be considering that yet though, so have put my head in the sand...

Nettleskeins · 12/03/2019 13:16

Hardwick I think that is a sensible and exciting idea from your dh! Retirement can mean just the years when the pressure is off, rather than just old fogies shuffling around. Maybe it is best to have it as a commercial rental venture and for dd to feel she is renting it off you, rather than responsible for it. She could be your man on the ground finding suitable tenants but not actually having to organise major repairs or decisions on decor etc, that would remain your prerogative. Just as if you were a landlord.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 12/03/2019 14:13

I agree with Nettles.

dd has an interview for a summer research placement. It's very exciting!

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TapasForTwo · 12/03/2019 14:16

Well done. I hope she is successful Kitten
DD still hasn't found another job, but has another volunteering post in a charity shop.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 12/03/2019 14:28

It's still early for summer and the volunteering role will definitely stand her in good stead.

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Hardwickwhite · 13/03/2019 17:52

Thank you Kitten and Nettles. We're going to look in to it, certainly. We're waiting for our accountant to come back with some advice on various options, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, DD will continue to look for a nice private rental, and we'll keep half an eye on Rightmove. I did find the perfect city pad the other day. Unfortunately, my lottery ticket only won me a lucky dip, and not the £1m I would have needed... The location was perfect for DH and I, but in fairness less perfect for DD, so maybe just as well!

MsAwesomeDragon · 13/03/2019 18:15

Hi. I lost you all in the mess of real life.

That opportunity sounds great kitten. I hope your DD gets it.

Hardwick your DH'S suggestion does sound sensible, but I would be putting my head in the sand about retirement plans too. You're definitely too young to be thinking about retirement (I have no idea how old you are)

Well DD has been struggling on down at uni. She's not doing well at all. I had a phone call today from student support services (who got permission stealthily from DD by emailing her to say they would be contacting me and she had to respond if she refused permission to do that). They are very concerned that she is not engaging with them despite numerous phone calls, emails and other attempts to talk to her. So they recommend that she comes home where she will be looked after, focus on her mental health, then try again as a first year in September or whenever she is healthy again. So I'm going to get her tonight. She doesn't yet know she's not going back. That felt like it should be a face to face conversation. But student support said either she makes the decision to take a break, or they make the decision, but she is coming home and won't be allowed back until she has a medical letter confirming she is fit to resume her studies. So she's home til at least September.

TheFirstOHN · 13/03/2019 18:31

MsAwesomeDragon
Sorry to hear that she is not currently feeling able to access help. Hopefully having a break from it all will enable her to recover and regroup. And if she's at home it's easier for you to ensure she is getting the support she needs.

UrsulaPandress · 13/03/2019 18:34

At least she will be home where you can look after her MrsAD. And it sounds like student services have been proactive.

I hope your DD feels better soon.

Hardwickwhite · 13/03/2019 18:48

That must have been a very hard thing to hear MrsAD. I am impressed with her student support though, and hope she responds well to being home.

MsAwesomeDragon · 13/03/2019 18:59

I hadn't been impressed with student support before today, because I was under the impression that they weren't contacting DD. Now I know that they have tried to contact her multiple times and it's her who isn't engaging with them, I'm much more impressed. I'm also impressed with the slightly underhanded way they got permission to speak to me, as they aren't really allowed to talk to parents without the student's permission, but they told her to get in touch if she objected and have her 12 hours from when she read the email before they called me.

I'm pretty much releived that this decision has been made, and it's not me trying to persuade DD, it's uni pushing for this. They sounded very supportive when I spoke to them and are happy to do all paperwork to make it an official break and restart remotely by phone or email, and they will talk to me if DD can't talk to them herself.

I just wish she'd spoken to us about her problems before they spiralled. Earlier help could have made a difference. But I know part of the illness is not being able to ask for help.

Nettleskeins · 13/03/2019 19:03

MrsAwesome I would be relieved that the university is being so pro-active, I wonder if your dd is in fact subconsciously making it much easier to make a fresh start next year by not struggling on below the radar, which would be far far worse. at least she is making it clear how she feels and how difficult it is for her. I always think this year is the Gap Year that might have been and there is nothing lost (except money) by suspending study. Big hugs to you. A friend went through this with her son, and he started again the following year, a year more mature, in a different uni, nearer home, doing loads of extra curricular things which were not uni based, and is so much happier. He also decided to live at home instead of halls, although it was an hour journey to uni. That all helped with the independence bit. At the time in his first year, his parents were in despair trying to find out how to help, and it was only the uni making the decision to tell him to start again next year, that sorted the gridlock of him refusing to admit he was miserable. My friend looks back and it all seems like a bad dream. But it is going very well now and the dynamics of the household, which she dreaded, work fine.

Pup sleeping through the night. By himself in crate. Yay! Garden is sea of mud churned up by scampering. Dh still very cross with Theresa May and new addition and told me I looked v old/dishevelled.

Knotaknitter · 13/03/2019 19:14

MrsAD It didn't work out for her this year but it will still be there for her when she's ready if that's what she wants to do. It will be a relief for you to have her where you can see her and I dare say it will be a relief for her once she's had time to readjust. For me it would be easier to deal with if I saw it as my decision otherwise it comes with a side order of rejection. I'm really sorry you're going through this, I'm really sorry she's going through this but now there will be a resolution even if it's not one she's looking for.

One of DS's friends has been home since Christmas, she decided that she didn't want to finish the year never mind do another two and she's switching courses and starting again next year. It's better to acknowledge that things aren't right rather than keep on trudging on regardless.

TapasForTwo · 13/03/2019 19:18

Sorry to hear about your DD MsAwesome Flowers

I hope she can overcome her issues and start again in September.

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