Class of '18 still nattering.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

forgot the old link hang on a mo...

Lonicera I was actually thinking of some education that is free once you reach 19 - but that's a long way off for her. I'll let you know if I think of any bright ideas!

Good luck Marmite. I hope it goes well and you get good news.

The last minute laundry mountain just before DD2 packed her clothes has finally killed the washing machine.

DH and I are now scouring the internet for a suitable (ie cheap and instantly available) replacement.

Finally caught up, can I add my good luck to marmite
We got a text from Ds at 0320 saying off to bed.
Then 0930ish saying he was up, feeling rotten, like all his flatmates, all been sick, all trying to eat breakfast, didn't want to talk, head feels like a drum is constantly going off.
Nothing until 1930.
He's meet his tutor, 22 in their group, he's really nice, Jacob, Lilii and he did fresher's fayre, okay but boring left after a hour.
All had MacDonald's for tea, 10 minute walk away.
Generation Sensible warning,
Tonight is a Sigma disco/party, all 6 in flat, decided not going, it's societies and sports fair, starting at 1000, in the morning, all really excited about it, don't want to feel crap again, so all having quiet night in flat together. Even turned down suggestion from 3 sets of parent to go but not drink.
Decided to do open air cinema on Wednesday, Foam party Thursday and Prof Green's beach party on Friday instead.
Having a good time though.

Gnome- is that a replacement washing machine or DD?

DD's BF and all his flatmates are suffering from "fresher's flu" now. I suspect all the alcohol they have imbibed has lowered their immune systems somewhat.

Feeling very stressed about DS going away at the weekend...he still has quite a bit of admin to do, including responding to an email from his disability contact which was sent in August, but just keeps saying he'll do it later. Trying to get him to actually do anything results in massive yawning and complaints of how tired he is. I'm genuinely worried he won't be able to organise himself, and also about his ability to look after himself (eg showering, washing his hair when he should, etc). Unfortunately due to his autism he just doesn't see these things as terribly important

doistayordoigo
Will he have a mentor?

doistayordoigo
At Lincoln, there where staff, student ambassadors and SU facilitators all there to assisted students/parents with moving in.
Lots of staff about to deal with registration and signing up for gp etc, at least 50% of students had their parents with them, including Ds.
Also the student wellbeing and multi faith chaplains where all over campus helping students and giving out freebies.
We saw 4/5 Dc with SEN been given support by the wellbeing team.
Is it possible your Ds's university can supply similar.
Ds court has 2 Disability access rooms, all other students have been made aware today and asked to keep on eye on their fellow student for signs of upset/difficulties and who to contact if they have worries.

He'll have a department mentor and a disability one I think, if he ever makes contact, but I'm not sure how much actual support this will actually provide for day to day organisation and living.

marmite adding my good wishes for this tough week.

doistay his mentor should help with organisation but obviously he has to contact them and actually meet them.
However he may be like ds who only does things when it is immediately obvious that he needs to and despises planning ahead.
As for washing hair and showering, I am still the nagging mum, although now he is in third year he has improved somewhat. (Skype is good for seeing if it has actually been done)

doi
I’m sure the unis will have seen worse prepared kids. There’s help available. I know the feeling of ‘nagging’ to do something.

I was having a scroll through the Facebook group I lurk and don’t comment. It really does scare me how many of the kids seem either A) unprepared B) not very resilient. It scares me I can’t bear to read the posts so have unfollowed it

I'm glad I never checked into the facebook group then I swing wildly between thinking he will manage and it will be the making of him, and thinking it will be a huge disaster. Some days I see a glimmer of the person he could be, when he does something that actually seems sensible and mature, but then we crash back down again. I really want him to experience friendship and socialising and camaraderie...but worry he will put people off if he doesn't look after himself properly. I feel terrible saying that, as obviously I love him...I want people to like him, as he is a very likeable person with a great sense of humour, but I worry he will be bullied or ostracised.

doistay I think they are, a lot of them, pretty disorganised and scuzzy. It is hard isn't it. But I've heard enough about seemingly sane sensible students living off ridiculous diets and doing ridiculous things like being too scared to even enter the laundry room and endlessly rinsing out the same pair of underpants.
knitting very frustrating. my dd is terrible for this (she complains to me all the time about her troubles and then screams if I offer advice, apparently all I am meant to be is a listening ear of infinite detachment and sympathy with no opinions about anything)
hardwick oh dear, this is going to be ds.

I was brought up in the laundrette. Not literally,but for some reason I spent a lot of my early life carting clothes to the laundrette as our washing machine was always breaking down and my mother had four children. I can remember ALWAYS HAVING to GET CHANGE. This usually involved buying crisps or sweets en route so handy enough.

Doistay I sent ds in with 3 bottles of fancy shampoo. He gets obsessed by certain clothes too, so I think he will wash them for that reason, atm he keeps washing the same Hollister teeshirt. I'm sure once he is with others in a social setting he will pick up various vibes about what to wear and how to groom himself, ds2 certainly has. It took a while but he has worked it out by hanging around with others, my nagging wasnt as useful as peer pressure. It started with unbearable Lynx fumes and then moved onto getting his hair just right. His shoes still aren't right though. He hasn't noticed the shoe "code" yet.

captainoftheshipwreck

Freshers week is a very odd time for new students. I am sure they all go into their first 'proper' week hollow cheeked and a little green around the gills.

The majority get it out of their system quite quickly. For a few the party doesnt stop. I cant criticise too much. The freedom of being away from ultra strict parents went to my head culminating in me having to resit my first year as an external student.

There are some very modern laundry apps negating the need for change. You can even book your slot and the app tells you when your washing is finished. No danger of dd doing any of that though.

She managed to break our machine before leaving with a horse hair encrusted numnah.

Thanks for all the reassuring words...time will tell I suppose and I have to keep telling myself that worst case scenario is he gives up and comes home, in which case we'll deal with it the way we've dealt with everything else. Didn't stop me lying awake until 3am again though

The FB group has moved on to nightmare flatmates. Hope dd isn't one.

Friends DD has a flatmare - he dropped a cup on Saturday night, the smashed pieces were still on the floor on Sunday morning and he asked the 3 girls who share the flat why it hadn't been cleaned up.....it hadn't entered his mind that he'd have to do it himself.

He then asked friend who had come to drop some stuff off for her DD if she'd do his food shop and washing if he paid her. He got a very short shrift.

star aaaaah! you couldn't make it up!
we need to stop doing things for our sons!!! or daughters

I woke dd up this morning at the usual 6.50am and she said...oh mum you wouldn't mind just earning my [sixth form] shirt for me, it only takes 3 mins? I did iron it because I was too sleepy to argue but it occurs to me that this is the thin end of the wedge...3 mins? then do it yourself..you entitled creature... I don't think either dses have ever asked me to iron a shirt for them. I sometimes do iron things for them just anyway, to make them smarter, but they don't ask me to provide ironed clothes..and can do without.

Please tell me you are joking starfleet !!!!

Unfortunately not.

I will keep you all posted with any other gems he comes out with....

DS and one of his flatmates managed to forget their access cards for halls when they went out on Sunday night - they have been told if they do it 3 times then they'll be charged £10. I can't imagine he'll forget it again...

I did suggest to DS he found out security out of hours number and puts in phone in case he forgets/loses key card (access to hall/flat/room). Doubt he has though.

doIstay a friend's Engineer son (with ASD) literally lived on frozen pizza and Domino's (Domino's at the beginning of term, frozen pizza as he ran out of money) He refused to use the kitchen because he didn't like the flatmates' leaving raw chicken and things on the worktops. But ironically this paid off, he didn't have any arguments with any flatmates, came home for a good meal every 3 weeks and blossomed generally, made new friends, and joined societies. And is moving into house with 8 of his flatmates this term 2nd year. No clubbing at all. Not everyone goes to wild parties. He still had to come home though every so often just to unwind and recharge. It is not all or nothing.