Christmas half term - Year 13 (another original thread title!)

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Carrying on from previous thread

I'm so rubbish with thread titles. Anyway...

This time last year there was lots of chat about tests/exams/mocks at this point. Are there fewer of them, or is everyone more chilled about them?

Yes i think it is very possible he's doing it to have something in common with gf. They had a falling out this morning ( bloody mobile phones, they are miles apart they shouldn't have been able to fall out!) which meant he got stressed and missed math's...

Derek it is very common behaviour amongst my friends' children but the good news it is that is essentially to with anxiety not the thing itself ifsyim, so if you can focus on the anxiety rather than the self harm. Friend's daughter has completely come out of the self harm but is still dealing with anxiety - for her it has been making a new path for herself, and not fitting in with other peoples (ie parental) expectations. Which of course requires a massive adjustment for parents, all of us want things for our children.

On on that note, ds1 has just admitted he got a U for his coursework draft. A U, and that was after I made some suggestions (I didn't even read the bloody thing, just listened to him read out the original, which was complete rubbish) suggestions I may say to add some examples. They now told him he went off on a tangent...and the essay had no structure. Really in despair, his whole English A level is going so badly, I want to pull him out school for that subject, keep him doing the other two, and get him a private tutor to do all the English exam preparation at home, then hopefully sit the exam and at least get a D (instead of a E or a U). School has us so browbeaten though that I just don't know how to play it..He is in a very large class atm, and really does no work, hands things in, but then the standard is very poor, they challenge him on it, but it is on to the next piece of work, repeat indefinititely No social life either, I am feeling very sorry for myself on the subject, let alone him! Dh says I have to stop being such a bleeding heart and feeling so worried all the time, I need to model good humour and resilience I try. It is difficult, I really feel sorry for him and for the dyspraxia - I sympathise so much with how he reacts to pressure and criticism. It is just thinking HOW to tackle the problem. School has not managed to help AT ALL, apart from keeping him on... Their interventions and their complete lack of communication have not helped, for all their telling me that no-one else gets the help he does...[grrr]

They said to me "he doesn't know how to write an essay". Why are they telling me this NOW? Why not have some special "essay writing" sessions instead of just going, everyone doing A levels should be able to write essays so we are not going to admit till the very last moment he cannot actually write one... I think the teachers are so overworked that just getting through the curriculum and stretching the top half of the class has been enough for them to deal with, let alone stragglers like ds1. But then why not go for the jugular a bit earlier?? Admit that it is not working, and start some basic interventions? Make him repeat Year 12?

tonight I am meeting up with some women whose daughters and sons are highflying medics-in-waiting, it has been very helpful to read this thread - it makes me feel less like ds is the odd one out, as I know how much EVERYONE goes through getting their children through this year, regardless of their predicted grades.

Feel calmer now, it is good to get this out of my system so I can deal with things in real life a bit better; I know it will work out, one way or another and it is good to see how ds1 really is, rather than trying to put sticking plaster over his issues or cover them up. Somewhere there is a path for him that makes sense, I just have to help him find it.

nettles it sounds like you're also going through a tough time. I only scraped through my A levels and went on to do an HND as I didn't have the grades to do a degree. Luckily the HND course really suited me so I did well and I don't think my career would have been any different if I'd done the degree instead. No employer is interested in my dismal A level grades, they are interested in what I learned in the HND and my career history.

I hope that may help

Oh derek how upsetting that must be. Hopefully your boarding house experience will see you through and we've got your back if you need to rant.

nettle our boys sound very similar. He didn't tell me he had parents evening last term which tells me he must have been behind on all his coursework. I think the dyspraxia really doesn't help, DS1 had the same at school for GCSE maths, they pulled all the able students ahead and didn't have time for those who weren't getting it as quickly. I tutored him at home and he did a lot better than expected, the out of school help sounds like a good idea.

I've just had a letter for a trip to a day conference that will help with A level course material. Accompanied with a request for money, not for the bus but to pay for an extra teacher to cover the other years who aren't going! That's a new one on me. Following a very successful parents evening with good predictions for DS2 we are currently spending more time looking at uni courses for him than we are considering DS1's academic career the whole 'third year in Australia' will wear off won't it?

I've signed up for an OU course and think that this is definitely a sign that I need my own pastel colour highlighter

Ursula one of my nieces is at Liverpool and is really enjoying it, course, accommodation, people - it's all good (she says)

I covet a pastel colour highlighter too. They're all the rage at school.

Nettle it's very, very common at the start of y12 to have no idea how too structure an essay, but most schools have acronyms they need to remember to help them know what to include in each paragraph. The one I see in most classrooms is PEE, standing for point, evidence, explain. That isn't enough to get a really high grade (I think it's more GCSE style, but it's a starting point), but if you can structure each paragraph then it gets enough marks to get a grade of some sort. The kids I talk to quite like the thought that they need to pee in each paragraph. It's a really difficult thing to learn how to write essays, I didn't properly get it til I did my pgce (I didn't take any essay subjects for A level or degree). Any extra help you can get him would obviously be very valuable, one hour one to one working on his specific issues would be worth a couple of weeks in a large class where he will get lost in the crowd.

Chocolate my A level results were crap too. They shouldn't have been, I was very bright (I'm not any more, the children have destroyed my intelligence!). It's true that nobody cares what my a level grades were, they care what I did a uni and later. I scraped into uni, but pulled my finger out once I was there and managed to get a first class degree.

Oh Derek that must have been a terrible shock. As others have said though, the fact that he's talking about it is a very good sign and a huge step in the right direction.
I was thinking of you over the weekend and hoping everything was ok.

A level English types (or parents of rather!) might find this from TES interesting Essay length

Hardwickwhite thank you, have sent that to DS1

derek sorry to hear your DS has been going through this. I don't have any words of wisdom but hope he and you are OK.

DS passed his driving test yesterday - did it at 8am during rush hour traffic. He kept it very quiet and hadn't told anyone apart from me that he was taking it.

Yeah for your DS Starfleet.

nettle
Dd is having a similar sort of issue. It is very frustrating that the school have just decided to tell dd it needs serious work.
derek
I hope things get better soon, teens are hard work
star
Well done to your DS

Ah that's brilliant Starfleet, congratulations to your DS

still had no feedback from school ds spent today at a music conference for A level students, he said he bumped into someone who had been at an Open Day in Cardiff Uni and lived in Cardiff gosh small world. He said he recognised person but they did not recognise him..typical ds (Possibly he did not introduce himself)

been researching tutors. An uphill struggle, they all sound wonderful but then you have no idea if they are going to make any difference, especially if they are only a few years older and wiser than ds. On the other hand plenty of qualified teachers fit into that category, so I suppose it is just specialising that makes the difference.

Fantasy my only hope is that technique is something you can remedy, whereas knowledge is more difficult to acquire at this late stage I think ds does know more than he admits to, although this evening I mentioned Catharsis (with ref to Shakespeare and tragegy/drama) and he wasn't aware of such a term . Although then he did mention that the film The Purge might be a sort of version of "catharsis", which was quite sensible of him.

I haven't kept up with these threads as DS2's experience seemed quite different to most of your DC. He's doing a level 3 BTEC in computing at college rather than A levels. It's worth 3 A levels and he completed the first half last year.

He has ASD and university wont be suitable for him. He's applied to do an HNC at college next year, which is a level 4 qualification. It can then lead on to an HND, level 5, the following year. Even though it's at his own college he had to apply via UCAS as it's higher education. Happily he has had an unconditional offer today as his first year results from his BTEC gave him enough points.

I have DS1 at Warwick University happily living in Coventry (less posh but much closer to the campus than Leam) and a DS3 doing GCSEs. All three very maths and computery but all very different in their abilities and work ethic. But there is a path through life for all of them.

I might pop back on results day and congratulate and commiserate with you all. Luckily I don't have that worry this year, just GCSEs the following week.

Hi Ellen, lovely to hear from you, congratulations to your DS on the unconditional for next year, that's fantastic. Brilliant that his plan is in place for the next few years and sounds like he's well on track.
It's almost exactly the same route my (much younger) brother took and he's now very happy and successful doing exactly what he always wanted to do (programming)
Does your DS know what he wants to do after qualifying?

Hi Ellen - my DD is doing 3 single BTECs as she couldn't cope with the stress of exams. She is probably going to do a higher apprenticeship.

It would be lovely if you stay with us - you will find that everyone here is very supportive, regardless of whether your DC is following the same path as theirs.

starfleet - congratulations to your DS

Thank you both. He wants to be a programmer but he's not ready for the world if work quite yet. 18 going on 13. Ideally he'd be a professional quizzer on Eggheads.

Good luck to your DD, chocolate. DS did apply for one higher apprenticeship but wasn't successful. I actually think the HNC will be better for him at the moment so not too disappointed.

ellen it is good to hear of your ds2's pathway. My first is really enjoying the subsidiary Btec (worth one A level) alongside his distinctly iffy A level progress, and it suits him very well the structured element I mean..I am having a lot of doubts about ds2 (who has ASD but is really keen on history/politics) doing A levels. I am very concerned it won't suit him, massive workload requiring too much out of the box thinking and inference. The problem is to convince someone who doesn't think out of the box that he has to leave his school and go and do something different from his peers

Anyway, previously postponed interview at 6th form college coming up next week for ds2, and I think this time I will be investigating the Btecs rather than the A levels as they offer loads as well as A levels.

I had a long discussion with ds1 yesterday where I explained that time was running out to come up with the grades that he needed IF he wanted to go to uni this Oct (which he didn't even need to do, as he can have a Gap Year/resit, reapply to different courses) I suggested various [obvious] ways he could improve his grades ie: go to bed earlier, read the texts again, and learn how to write an essay with help of a tutor but was met with various reasons why none of these interventions are possible..I'm a teenager I go to bed late, I've too much work to do to have time to re-read the texts as Ms wants an essay in this week etc, and best of all..oh Mr X says I shouldn't spend money on tutors and should just work harder (okay, good advice but is it making you work harder???)

nettle
It’s worrying. There is no issue with the “substance” of her essay it is simply her technique. I can only pray for a miracle to happen
ellen
Sounds like a hectic household for you.

Dd went and saw hamlet yesterday and enjoyed it as it was an all black cast.

I'm off to see Hamlet tonight.

DD got her final offer today, and it was unexpectedly low, giving her a proper choice for insurance. She is booked on a visit day to the final offer place in half term, but had half been thinking of not going, because she expected a high offer and was thinking that would discount it because she has a clear favourite for firm. It would be a brilliant insurance though. I think it may come down to a lifestyle choice in the end though. The three insurance offers are a big city, a very small city, and a small town - they couldn't be more different from each other in that respect, but are all highly regarded for her subject.

It is great to finally have them all. She has been in a very dark place whilst waiting.

Congratulations Hardwick - that's great news

ellen DH started out as a programmer and he only had 5 GCSEs and an ONC