Christmas half term - Year 13 (another original thread title!)

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Carrying on from previous thread

I'm so rubbish with thread titles. Anyway...

This time last year there was lots of chat about tests/exams/mocks at this point. Are there fewer of them, or is everyone more chilled about them?

I read a lot of reviews on WhatUni, and the Bangor ones were a bit of a mixed bag, apart from Marine biologists who were exceptionally happy and contented.

In fact reading WhatUni across the board is a dark night of the soul!

The Hull students also said something about how students who came in via Clearing were generally not as enthusiastic as those who really wanted to be there from the start; I wonder whether that is an observation which is true for most unis.

Raspberry I remember the same, I loved being in orchestras and bands and choirs so much opportunities to do all sorts and go different places.

Ursula right now I think I'm the one who will be more disappointed if he doesn't get the grades!

Yes it was marine biology I fancied for DD. We live in a parallel universe.

Maybe Marine biologists are just a generally chilled out group? All the being on the water maybe I think I'll give WhatUni a miss then.

no, it is really informative, often the bad reviews are the flip side of the good ones...ie it is so boring and beautiful here, or no-one comes from the South, I hate Forensic Science I wish I had done History the historians are having a fun time, I hate this uni because the parking is bad, the sports teams are all too professional...everyone here is too rich/everyone here is too poor

Oh that does sound helpful then. Talking to a friend tonight whose son is in his first year and was really disappointed by the rowing club, he loves rowing but comes from a farming background and was met with a rather posh and unfriendly bunch when he went to his English uni. Although we are really only split by uni he will go to if he gets really good grades or uni he will go to where the head of course has offered him a lift to the open day

I've tried, and failed, to push Marine Biology at Bangor on two of my children now, why they don't listen to their old mums I have no idea. Pick a life by the sea children and sod the rest of it!

There is a fabulous sea cavern thingy at Bangor. Reminds me of Mallory Towers. Maybe I should apply.

We have been listening to Fingal's Cave by Mendelssohn(sp?)

That's going on the playlist for the way up Nettle.

If DS1 gets to go to Mallory Towers I'm going to give up in a huff, that should have been me!

We’re having some friendship issues here... dd finds it incredibly Petty and has a different perspective when at home
But at school she gets wrapped up in it all
Girls were never this bitchy or nasty when I was at school
I’m astounded when she shows me texts and things from them

Fantasy same here, and I completely agree about girls being unbelievably bitchy. I assured DD it would be better once she left school and went to college as it was that way for me, but it hasn't been the case for her. I don't know whether it's social media to blame or whether because in my day people only went to sixth form if they wanted to, whereas today people have to be in education until 18.

I think it is most definitely social media.

When I were a lass, once you got in from school that was it, no contact with school friends until the next day - except for my bestmate, and we would spend hours on the phone (sitting on the stairs in the cold hall) bitching about others and dissecting boyfriends - but as none of it was written down no one was any the wiser.

With all what’s going on with her health she needs support, and they don’t care..when she had an abscess on her face they made memes
Dd is honest brutally honest but if she’s said something and it upsets them she’ll admit she’s done wrong
But here it’s a constant you do this, this and this and if she moans about what they do it’s excusable...
It’s petty drama and I’m not knocking private schools but I do think a lot of it is because their parents sugar coat everything and they have no understanding some of them of reality. Having worked in private schools I do see a difference...
I’ve told her to make peace and just be civil, and not long left
I cannot wait until she has left the school I’ve had them demand to see bank satements birth certificates the lot and because it’s the kids that get straight A*’s and their parents may a hefty amount in fees the school say it’s just girls
Dd has stuck a picture to her wall of London to keep her motivated

Cripes they sound vile.
Not just private school though - DD has had one girl punch her, another girl has been threatening to "fuck her up" (DD has a recording of this) and the ex-boyfriend has turned into a stalker. A bit like your DD, she just needs to limp through these final weeks.

I can't believe some of your kids are having it so badly, it sounds really awful. Poor things. Are there no anti bullying policies? or are they just not applied?

OYBK
Dd has suffered bullying so to her this isn’t bullying this is just immature girls
chocolate
Dd suffered bullying within the state sector similar abuse to your dd, whereas in private it’s different it’s more cliquey as there’s money involved, and there’s fewer people to mix with so once you have an arguement all 20 girls know and it’s hell, plus dd boards meaning she never escapes a bad day

it still sounds like bullying to me, if that doesn't feel like it then she really has had an awful time at times. Making memes definitely sounds like bullying. These are adults or near adults. It's appalling.

I'm eternally grateful that dd has only had a short episode of being bullied, I was badly bullied throughout my childhood and dreaded her going through similar.

I'm sure there are anti-bullying policies, but there was no evidence for the punch, so the college said they couldn't do anything.

The ex-boyfriend was spoken to by a safeguarding lady at college, who ended up feeling sorry for him. Yes he does have a hard home life, but standing outside Tesco for 2 hours staring at DD whilst she was working on the checkout was not normal. Neither is phoning her 20 times in a row when she's asked him to leave her alone, or all the other weird stuff he's been doing.

The other girl has made a lot of threats, but not actually done anything. DD has shown messages to her tutor and played him the recording, so they're on alert. The girl was in one of DD's lessons but luckily has stopped going.

As my Dad used to say to me "Who promised you that life was going to be easy?"

Bullying is shit and so hard to pin down. I was bullied by one girl at school but honestly couldn't pinpoint what she actually did.

oh dear dd wants to go private for sixth form, and boarding too what is she letting herself in for? She is at all girls at moment and there doesn't seem to be any bullying although there are certainly cliques. She is on a ski trip at the moment and all seems to be [alpine] sunshine, I think they know each other inside out. I get a bit of back chat about people being "annoying" but no major fallouts. I remember being "dropped" by my best best friend in sixth form, and it was crucifying but luckily no-one else dropped me (even though they stayed friends with "her") I remember meeting some of my dSIS friends as students and a particularily lovely funny intelligent beautiful one telling me she had been badly bullied at secondary - it always amazes me how bullies can make someone feel they are inferior when they so clearly are not. I think I mentioned this before but there is a wonderful book/novel/work of fiction called A Private Place by Amanda Craig which tackles a lot of the bullying issues.

Chocolate and Fantasy school can be really sh**t I don't know why we all glamorise it, it's just sad we have to spend so much time there to get to the next stage. Having home educated ds2 I take it all with a big pinch of salt now (he is luckily very happy at school now)

I think it is about conforming. If you don't conform to invisible rules, then you are in trouble unless you are a) very thickskinned/determined b)so glamorous that you are the trend setter. I think there are whole anthropological studies on why it is important to fit into groups and anyone who doesn't appear to fit in - in that particular situation - gets treated badly. I've observed quite nice people bullying others in strange contexts.

DS wants to do marine biology, so I super excited by Bangor. He still refers the Falmouth campus of Exeter, but has just received his half term report. Obviously all the teachers are aware of the self harm and the report is supportive, but all bar one have said that the amount of lessons he has missed means that he is really far behind. I can only hope that he can pull it back. 120 points for one course at Bangor which should be achievable.

I agree nettles I know she’s mine but there’s no airs and graces with dd. She says it how it is. She’s opinionated and very honest, she won’t sugar coat...
Recently it’s been a scenario of the girls competing with the other set of girls and the whole why don’t they like me
Dd tried to explain some personalities naturallly don’t get along and God forbid if she likes a girl they hate.
Dd said it’s petty drama but it gets you down over time and dd admits she’s no angel however, they see it as their doing nothing wrong etc
She deleted most of her social media’s etc and they’ve gone mad at her for it.. it’s bizzarre.
Dd has suffered more in terms of body image at this school then anything else, because she’s not tall skinny and blonde and when dds home it doesn’t phase her but she does get wrapped up in it at school

I think it’s worse at dds school because it’s so small nettle if I could turn back time I would have listened to her and let her go to another school

That’s so sad chocolate

new thread for when we are ready.

Hope both your DD's are OK Chocolate & Fantasy.

Bullying is horrible. I was bullied at secondary school for a multitude of things - I was the "wrong" colour/I liked different music/clothes/I didn't speak with a broad local accent even though I was born and brought up in the same town....anything and everything. During my 2nd year I started standing up for myself and gave back as good as I got. Funnily enough once I started doing that it stopped. That and the fact that I stabbed one of the "popular" boys in the leg with a compass when he went too far with his comments. I made sure DS was aware of what he could do if there was ever even a whiff of it affecting him. There was a boy during his lower years at school who tried it. He and his mother (who tried to pretend it wasn't happening) got the end of my very sharp tongue and it was brought to the schools attention sharpish.

We have a firm first choice for DS after the Newcastle offer holders day yesterday. Now he has to decide his insurance...