Why don't young people foster?

[Vineling]

We've been having a discussion in the office today, (I recruit foster carers as my day job) about why it's people who are aged 50 plus who in the main foster. Those who teenagers have flown the nest and gone off to Uni. So my question is why don't younger people consider fostering? instead of perhaps going back to work after a baby or as a career choice? and what can we do to encourage them to consider it? We need people of all ages over 21 with a spare bedroom but it's the younger ones we struggle to reach and encourage to foster.

They don’t just need a spare room. They need to be rich enough for one of them to give up work completely , or at least work very part time and flexibly.

And have no young children themselves .

And not work in jobs that’s have anything to do with children or vulnerable adults, or they risk their careers if a parent or child makes any kind of allegation.

And to be able to suffer fools gladly and smile and nod when they are patronised and treated like mushrooms by idiots.

We would love to do it but we Both work full time and only have a small box room spare after DS. Financially it would cripple us tbh also the reason we will likely not have another bio child.

I know people who have done it and they got little to no support.

I don't think I know any 21 year olds who
a. Have their own home or
b. Have the maturity to parent children with often complex needs.

I think it's a bit strange to be targeting young adults in their twenties to be honest. It would be better to focus on more mature adults in their 30s and 40s and older.

I do foster, and I was fairly young, early 30s, when I started. I had a lot of experience working with children but I hadn't had any children of my own. Looking back I think I probably was very naive and had unrealistic expectations of what parenting these children would be like. I mean, we coped, and 9 years later the children are still with us.

My LA liked foster carers to have older children than those they foster, but I have heard they have recently relaxed this rule, which I think is a massive mistake. I now have a child of my own who is several years younger than my foster children and it's not the best fit. It would be much better for all concerned if she was the older one, but she was a bit of a surprise and that's just the way our life panned out.

In my opinion it is much better for people to have their own children and let them grow up to at least mid childhood before introducing a much younger foster child into the mix. Plus as others have said, if there are any allegations, your own birth children are at risk of being removed as well as the foster carers. Fortunately it has never happened to us but I have heard from several other carers that if allegations are made against carers, the foster children are whipped out of your house immediately, then investigations take place which can take months, and then even if you're found innocent (which happens in the majority of cases) the foster children don't come back to you and you may never see them again. Which I suppose you might not want to if the allegations come from the children but in lots of cases they come from birth family or as a result of the children having an accident and breaking a bone, for example. Depending on the nature of the allegations your birth children might be removed as well and could go to family members if appropriate, or they'd end up in the care system as well. And you might only be able to see them once a week in a contact centre. I understand why people with their own young children might not want to take the risk of that potentially happening.

Fostering is not a job. It's your whole life. You don't just house the children, you make your house their home. You have to get involved with their school, their hobbies, their birth family. Young adults who are enjoying going out every weekend are not going to want to swap lazy Sundays after a boozy Saturday night for Sundays spent taking a 6 year old to a whole class party in a soft play centre.

Personally I think it's much more sensible for people to party, travel, have a career, raise a family all before they foster, if they want to, later in their lives.

I personally would worry about the impact on my own children.

I won’t have a spare bedroom till my kids leave home. Also, having worked with kids in the care system, I know how much support they need. I’m not sure I can offer that whilst holding down my own job and looking after my own kids. I could see myself doing it when I’m older, my kids left home and I start cutting back on my work.

I'm 30, have young children and two spare bedrooms. Well off, don't 'work' (being a SAHM mum is most certainly a full time job but perhaps that's for another thread) with two spare bedrooms.

I wouldn't consider foster children because all of my focus is on my own children. I couldn't bring an unknown entity into my home who would need the same love and compassion as my own children because I simply wouldn't be able to provide that.

Thankfully I have no struggles in terms of finances or space in my home. But I wouldn't do it for the sake of my children.

Not many young adults have spare bedrooms or the maturity and emotional capacity to look after troubled children. Also most people want their own biological children if it's possible.

@Vineling are you not going to reply?

I want to foster in the future. It’s something I have wanted to do for years. I wouldn’t consider it whilst my children are at home though.

It might be selfish, but I wouldn’t want to put them through the upheaval of bonding with a new sibling when they could be taken away with little notice. I also wouldn’t have the capacity to give my children the attention they deserve, and to make sure that I was giving a foster child the attention they deserve.

I’m sure there are benefits to growing up in a family that fosters children, but for me, the potential negatives are too big to risk.

Because if people put more thought into having kids in the first place there would be less need for foster carers, people don't usually want kids until they are older or at all in some cases

I can't imagine you can't imagine why this doesn't happen?

I'm 37 now and would've happily fostered for the last decade at least. I have plenty of experience with medical and educational issues, lots of childcare experience. No spare room or any way of getting somewhere with a spare room so no chance of fostering. It's silly, there should be more support in getting fosterer's into appropriate housing, especially in today's cost of living crisis people can't afford to just have a spare room.

I call absolute bollocks on this.

I’m not a social worker but I work in a very closely aligned role and share an office with the Fostering team. They absolutely know why younger people don’t foster and what the barriers are. Lack of spare room and the fact that the allowance is clearly not a wage (so it’s not a “career”, for starters).

As if anyone in FC recruitment seriously thinks that it’s a viable alternative to going back to work after maternity leave.

I don’t know what your real motives are, but this is a very odd thread to start.

• I can't afford to
• I have a young child myself so it would completely change the dynamic in our home
• I have a career I'm working on
• I don't have the time to dedicate to a child who has suffered trauma like this
• I don't have the skillset
• I'm not emotionally strong enough
• I don't have the mental capacity
• I have my own demons and battles
• I have to work so hard as it is to provide for my one child
• my mortgage payments have shot up so may not have a spare room soon.

If you were wanting to appeal to younger people, I would say people need to understand how they can survive doing this. Does it pay? How much? Is it guaranteed revenue? Is it shitty to go into it with this mindset? What support is available? What training?

Agree

OP is clearly doing research or writing an article, so I can't be bothered to write a reply.

enough for your essay now OP?

A) lack of available space i.e. spare room due to cost of living and housing costs.
B) financially not being in a position to give up possibly a professional career / job to do so when the stability of income with placements is uncertain or enough compared to what they are earning in another job or what they need to be able to live. Typically those at a later stage of life may not be working or working flexibly part time etc. and so not reliant upon the Fostering income in the same way.

Payments depend on the age of the child. We also pay extra skills payments to our carers plus extra for a child’s birthday, school holidays and Christmas or other religious celebrations. But yes pay does play an important part in deciding if people can afford to do it.

Thanks for your comment. We offer our foster carers pre approval and post approval training plus we have lots of support groups days and evenings. Appreciate support is key. Thanks.

Career choice?

I thought the money was to support the child and it is essentially unpaid?

We have had a few foster carers who have successfully fostered with no children of their own. We put in a lot of training and support for them. Appreciate it’s not easy.

Most people need to go back to work after having a baby / finishing maternity because its so hard to re-enter the job market if you don't plus it's not financially viable to not work.

Personally I would also struggle to balance the needs of my own young child with that of another when that child likely has additional needs / SS involvement and will ultimately leave (which could be very disruptive to family life) .

I think it makes total sense that most foster parents are over 50 as they have the parenting experience to feel confident around children, tend to have more money / space / time due to the financial privileges of their generation and they don't have to worry about any negative impact on their family if their children are adults.

We pay an allowance to care for the child and a fee to the foster carer. We also have specialist schemes with high fees.

Some LA’s will now accept people to foster babies who would sleep in the carers bedroom. We are currently trialling this for a small number of carers but appreciate its not the answer to the no spare bedroom issue we have.

Thanks that’s really useful feedback. We encourage people to start off doing short breaks fostering if they don’t want to give up work at weekends often just one a month or in school holidays.