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AIBU - Service Charge in restaurant

116 replies

Plantfairydoll16888 · 01/05/2023 22:17

I’d love to know your thoughts on this! We spent the bank holiday weekend in London and on Sunday went to The Ned for their Sunday Feast. Essentially it’s a huge buffet with lots of salads / charcuterie / roast dinner and all the trimmings and desserts. 1 glass of Prosecco included in the price - £90 per person!

Our initial server seated us and offered the glass of champagne. She was extremely blunt in describing how the feast worked and wasn’t friendly at all.
She came over twice throughout our meal and asked if we would like more drinks - we’d already gotten one from the bar before being seated, had a glass of Prosecco each and we also requested tap water for the table so this wasn’t needed.

Another server however had taken our plates several times throughout our meal. Replaced cutlery, always topped up water and checked on other drinks and was generally a really lovely man. He was polite and gracious and had lovely little exchanges with us throughout. When loading up at the buffet he even approached and offered to ladle on the gravy to avoid me being splashed. He also returned and topped up our Prosecco flutes for a second time whilst eating dessert, giving us a cheeky wink! There was no food service involved due to it being a buffet!

Anyway, I’m very ANTI service charge. I understand it’s becoming common practice however I do not like the concept that management decide on an additional charge at THEIR discretion. I always ask that it is removed when requesting the bill. We always have cash to leave a cash tip of our choice. Our meal cost almost £300 and included an almost £30 tip.
Some would say, if you’re paying so much for a meal then £30 isn’t much however it’s more about principle. Besides, I’ve paid enough!

With 10 minutes left on our reservation, the waitress approached with the bill, placed it on the table and walked away. I then had to get her attention and request that the service charge was removed. She didn’t say anything and returned and immediately asked “what was wrong with my service?”. I explained that our asking to remove the charge was not a reflection on the service, I simply prefer to make my own decision when it comes to tipping. She then repeated herself and asked “so you’re not leaving tip you have a problem with my service?”. I was so frustrated. This is a high end establishment - how are the staff behaving in such a way?! I then continued to explain that in fact, the other gentleman actually provided far more service to us and we would be leaving a tip that we were comfortable with. My partner paid the bill and she simply walked off.

My face must have been a picture! As the other server approached immediately and asked if everything was ok. I began to explain we asked for the service charge to be removed and he quickly interjected “yes of course of course I’ll sort that now no problem”. We then clarified everything and he was so understanding and apologetic.

My partner shook his hand and thanked him for his service - we both did - he was great, slipping a £20 in his hand (who even does that anymore lol!).

I understand that tips are usually split across the restaurant and shared with non-customer facing staff who don’t have the opportunity to earn tips however I was so shocked at how badly this server handled the situation, especially given she hardly did anything! This is the UK. All staff will earn at least minimum wage - I know that isn’t a lot but it’s the same as a lot of other people who cannot rely on tipping. The service charge should be an added bonus for exceptional service and not something that is expected, or am I being really stingy here? I much prefer leaving a cash tip that I believe reflects the service.

OP posts:
UsethisUsername · 01/05/2023 22:23

I’m less bothered about the rules and etiquette on tipping as I’m horrified you spent £300 on a fucking buffet!!

N02733 · 01/05/2023 22:24

I agree with you and am quite anti service charge being added on as standard. I feel that a tip should be discretionary and up to you how much you leave. We recently went to a high end restaurant in Manchester and had £30 charge added on. They added 12.5% of the which i think is a lot.The sever did take this off when asked and then we left some cash as a tip. I think your server could have had a better attitude when working for The Ned

HadalyEve · 01/05/2023 22:24

Ugh. You preferred the service of a fit young waiter literally because he flirted with you and had your partner slip him a £20 note so he wouldn’t have to “share” his tip with the workers at the back of the house actually cooking your food.

No, I prefer the service charge because I know it takes everyone doing their job for a nice meal to happen, not just a fit young waiter rushing to ladle my gravy, being cheeky, winking and topping up my booze.

Pringleface · 01/05/2023 22:25

I honestly think it’s a bit pathetic and underhand that dissatisfied customers of businesses post on Mumsnet naming the business in a faux AIBU-but-here’s-the-name-so-it-turns-up-on-any-searches and is deliberately trying trying to provoke bad feeling against the business.

If you were so dissatisfied with the service you received at the restaurant, complain to them directly rather than trying to use a parenting website to bitch about them.

WeAreTheHeroes · 01/05/2023 22:30

You're within your rights to request the service charge was removed from the bill. That you chose to give a tip is exactly that, a choice. You gave that tip to the person you thought most deserved it. The rest of your post is superfluous. Most restaurants split tips across the team that produced the food and served you.

Kiwirose · 01/05/2023 22:36

I hate the tip culture. Everyone earns at least minimum wage now or living wage so it isn't necessary.

No one tips me to do my job so why are only certain jobs tipped and not others?

L0bstersLass · 01/05/2023 22:58

You sound cheap.
If you disagree with how an establishment charges for its services, don't go there.
Choosing to eat there but making up your own rules for renumeration is pathetic.

Lolasgame · 01/05/2023 23:09

This reply has been deleted

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Stripycatz · 01/05/2023 23:13

You paid £90 per person for a carvery and then quibbled over the tip?

mexicanandafewdrinks · 01/05/2023 23:21

you fancied the younger waiter, as someone else said. you sound cheap and entitled. do you expect all staff to be on their knees to your beck and call? you weren't that waitresses only table, its a buffet so no you wont be followed around with gravy as standard.

Errmmmmmmmmmmm · 01/05/2023 23:33

@Lolasgame Really?!

stuckinthelastcentury · 01/05/2023 23:34

I’m not sure what the first waitress actually did wrong, apart from (understandably) getting a bit impatient with you towards the end? I can understand withholding the service charge on principle if the service is actually bad, but I’m struggling to see how that was the case here…

My friend in hospitality says it’s best to ask the waiter what they prefer re: tipping.

IJustHadToLookHavingReadTheBook · 01/05/2023 23:55

So you gave a 6.5% tip (in Central London!!!) on an expensive meal in a way that deliberately excluded everyone involved in making your meal/experience happen who hadn't sucked up to you/plied you with alcohol? And your husband made sure to do it in a really slimy, flash way that made him look like Loadsa Money on an afternoon out in 1988?

You both sound like charming people.

And FYI if you don't believe in "tipping culture" you shouldn't be eating out. Fine to not tip if you get truly horrible service, but this wasn't that. Did you just want us all to know that you're rich/gauche enough to be able to afford The Ned, OP? Because if so, you should probably know that it's a bit passé now, a bit 2018. Hope that helps.

Swellinyewing · 01/05/2023 23:58

Mortified for you.

Ponderingwindow · 02/05/2023 00:02

Does the restaurant declare the service charge before you order? If so, I think asking to remove it for anything other than problematic service is really poor form.

Appleblum · 02/05/2023 00:52

You sound cheap. If you were really so pleased with the service you received from the other waiter I would have slipped him a cash tip separately, on top of the service charge. Don't forget that the rest of the team also contributed towards your dining experience.

Lolasgame · 02/05/2023 02:02

IJustHadToLookHavingReadTheBook · 01/05/2023 23:55

So you gave a 6.5% tip (in Central London!!!) on an expensive meal in a way that deliberately excluded everyone involved in making your meal/experience happen who hadn't sucked up to you/plied you with alcohol? And your husband made sure to do it in a really slimy, flash way that made him look like Loadsa Money on an afternoon out in 1988?

You both sound like charming people.

And FYI if you don't believe in "tipping culture" you shouldn't be eating out. Fine to not tip if you get truly horrible service, but this wasn't that. Did you just want us all to know that you're rich/gauche enough to be able to afford The Ned, OP? Because if so, you should probably know that it's a bit passé now, a bit 2018. Hope that helps.

This

Mars27 · 02/05/2023 02:21

I used to be a waitress and reading the OP gave me flashbacks, eugh!

Also, your story is inconsistent: you said your partner paid the bill, but then you said afterwards that the "nice" waiter removed the service charge, giving the impression he did it so after you had paid the bill, so which is it?

DeflatedAgain · 02/05/2023 04:01

I usually just pay the service charge.

Only had a 12.5% tip removed once near a theatre in London at a Brazilian steakhouse. Service was very slow for drinks, we had already started eating way before they arrived, wasn't served by the same person once, ordered more drinks which never arrived, took forever trying to pay.

The food was good so we paid a tip based on what we felt was appropriate and asked for it to be handed to the chefs/BOH team. The waiter (who was a stranger to us and we hadn't seen before) was offended we wasn't tipping him and made a point to make a big fuss about it. 🙈

littleblackcat27 · 02/05/2023 04:59

Just looked at the menu - basically a roast with lobster to start - £90???

And drinks on top?

Thanks OP - I'm going to feel a lot less guilty about my birthday meal out this weekend which is going to cost a lot less and still be super tasty. Grin Also glad I don't live in London any more.

tallcypowder · 02/05/2023 05:40

The service charge often increases the hourly rate of staff. Not sure its morally correct but at least it gives staff a few pounds above minimum wage.

JacobsCrackersCheeseFogg · 02/05/2023 06:15

I don't like service charges added to my bill. I usually pay restaurants with a card and I am not convinced some establishments don't use the tips to make up the minimum wage. Also, I don't just want to give the server a tip, but also the kitchen staff. I want my tip to be a bonus, not make up an employer's low wages.

I prefer places with a communal tip jar. I always pay tips in cash. I'm prepared to give them a 20% tip if service is good.

The problem with tipping is that some nefarious companies use the money dishonestly. In an ideal world all restaurants would pay the living wage, but we don't live in an ideal world.

Maddy70 · 02/05/2023 06:20

UsethisUsername · 01/05/2023 22:23

I’m less bothered about the rules and etiquette on tipping as I’m horrified you spent £300 on a fucking buffet!!

This. I hate a buffet at the best of times how can you have a "high end buffet"?

WeWereInParis · 02/05/2023 07:14

I don't understand exactly what happened - you've said your partner paid the bill and the woman walked off, but then the man came over and you explained and he removed the service charge?

That aside, I also don't like the service charge being added. A look at this place's website where it gives the price of this buffet thing doesn't mention service charge being added, it just gives the price and the deposit & cancellation details. I think the woman was very rude. I always ask for it to be removed (except in places where it's made clear beforehand that it will be added, as often happens in large groups) and tip in cash.

ImAvingOops · 02/05/2023 08:16

I think it would be better if tipping culture was abolished and employers had to pay a proper wage for their staff.
I don't understand how waiters and hairdressers get a tip, but other non wage employees don't!

Any restaurant that's charging £300 for a buffet can afford to pay their staff properly. And if customers are paying that amount, it shouldn't be their responsibility to pay the staff on top!

That said, you did have good service and it would have been a lot less faff to just pay the service charge.