AIBU - Service Charge in restaurant

[Plantfairydoll16888]

I’d love to know your thoughts on this! We spent the bank holiday weekend in London and on Sunday went to The Ned for their Sunday Feast. Essentially it’s a huge buffet with lots of salads / charcuterie / roast dinner and all the trimmings and desserts. 1 glass of Prosecco included in the price - £90 per person!

Our initial server seated us and offered the glass of champagne. She was extremely blunt in describing how the feast worked and wasn’t friendly at all.
She came over twice throughout our meal and asked if we would like more drinks - we’d already gotten one from the bar before being seated, had a glass of Prosecco each and we also requested tap water for the table so this wasn’t needed.

Another server however had taken our plates several times throughout our meal. Replaced cutlery, always topped up water and checked on other drinks and was generally a really lovely man. He was polite and gracious and had lovely little exchanges with us throughout. When loading up at the buffet he even approached and offered to ladle on the gravy to avoid me being splashed. He also returned and topped up our Prosecco flutes for a second time whilst eating dessert, giving us a cheeky wink! There was no food service involved due to it being a buffet!

Anyway, I’m very ANTI service charge. I understand it’s becoming common practice however I do not like the concept that management decide on an additional charge at THEIR discretion. I always ask that it is removed when requesting the bill. We always have cash to leave a cash tip of our choice. Our meal cost almost £300 and included an almost £30 tip.
Some would say, if you’re paying so much for a meal then £30 isn’t much however it’s more about principle. Besides, I’ve paid enough!

With 10 minutes left on our reservation, the waitress approached with the bill, placed it on the table and walked away. I then had to get her attention and request that the service charge was removed. She didn’t say anything and returned and immediately asked “what was wrong with my service?”. I explained that our asking to remove the charge was not a reflection on the service, I simply prefer to make my own decision when it comes to tipping. She then repeated herself and asked “so you’re not leaving tip you have a problem with my service?”. I was so frustrated. This is a high end establishment - how are the staff behaving in such a way?! I then continued to explain that in fact, the other gentleman actually provided far more service to us and we would be leaving a tip that we were comfortable with. My partner paid the bill and she simply walked off.

My face must have been a picture! As the other server approached immediately and asked if everything was ok. I began to explain we asked for the service charge to be removed and he quickly interjected “yes of course of course I’ll sort that now no problem”. We then clarified everything and he was so understanding and apologetic.

My partner shook his hand and thanked him for his service - we both did - he was great, slipping a £20 in his hand (who even does that anymore lol!).

I understand that tips are usually split across the restaurant and shared with non-customer facing staff who don’t have the opportunity to earn tips however I was so shocked at how badly this server handled the situation, especially given she hardly did anything! This is the UK. All staff will earn at least minimum wage - I know that isn’t a lot but it’s the same as a lot of other people who cannot rely on tipping. The service charge should be an added bonus for exceptional service and not something that is expected, or am I being really stingy here? I much prefer leaving a cash tip that I believe reflects the service.

This. The increase of tipping in restaurants (with people dictating %'s etc.) here is an Americanism. Here, people are paid a wage and therefore a tip should be a nice bonus for good service, which I do give. I really dislike service charges in this country for that reason. We don't go around tipping other minimum wage/low workers.

I don't know anyone that pays the service charge! and for £300 I'd probably tip a tenner if the service was as expected, maybe £15 if it was great. Always in cash too so it hopefully goes direct.

I have a friend that never tips, ever.

If you're eating anywhere other than Nando's or a cafe, the serving charge should be factored into your budget for the meal, and only withheld if the food and/ or service is very poor.

Going out for an expensive meal and withholding the service charge is a dick move. By your own admission, the waiter gave you good service and a free drink. Slipping him less than 7% of the value of your bill and also moaning was unreasonable.

The cash you gave him probably cost less than the value of the drinks he gave you.

Saying you have paid enough is irrelevant. You chose to get fleeced for a buffet.

@Viviennemary I personally don’t like the assumption of service staff that they get a tip either way, in this case either from the greeter or the waiter, they both behaved badly in different ways, the waiter doing his job but probably being a bit smarmy, the greeter doing the bare minimum but expecting a tip as routine and being rude about it. I’m guessing the greeter is possibly Eastern European/Ukrainian

/Russian and naturally quite blunt with how they state facts.

Whenever I tip I do pay the service charged but if it’s below standard then yes, I get it removed. I also sometimes tip cash, separately.

I can’t be the only person that wants to see this £90 buffet 😅😂😂

Exactly. Never see people tipping in Tesco or the hotel receptionist.

I used to be a waitress, and your first waitress sounded rude and unprofessional so why should you tip her?

If you're really think that everyone in hospitality gets paid minimum wage and that "in some restaurants is even more" you've never worked in hospitality.

When I worked at the restaurant of a very well known gallery in the Southbank (rhymes with cake), we were paid below minimum wage and they used teh service charge to top our wages up, making it look like that we were paid correctly.

A while ago there were several articles in the press detailing how this is common practice in many restaurants, especially the chain ones like Pizza Express, Zizzi, etc. A quick google search will bring results aplenty.

So, you didn't complain on the spot because you didn't want to disrupt the "group dynamics" and then refused to pay afterwards?

God, give me strength 😵‍💫

Forget all that - you went to a place called the Ned??! No wonder the service was poor

No @Mars27 - DH was eating in his own, he didn't eat hardly any of the meal and refused to pay. I was also referring to another incident a few years ago when my meal came out quite a while after the others and was then cold. Another table had the same problem so there was clearly an issue in the kitchen, by the time my food arrived everyone else had finished. It was a Mothers Day meal.

Well done OP, for getting the service charge removed.

I think it's very cheeky that the default position is for the bill to have the 'discretionary' service charge already added, relying on guests feeling too embarrassed to ask for it to be removed.

We never pay service charge anymore, except if we've had exceptional service. And if we're asked why we just say we never pay it, and that's all there is to it.

Went to sticks and sushi the other day and spent over £200 for two. We were seated on a communal table with high chairs and soent about 90mins at the restaurant. The service was fine but nothing special. No way am I then going to pay 12.5% service on top. I've already paid through the nose.

On the way home we stopped by hotel chocolat and spent what we would have on the service charge on dessert. Yum.

As an aside point from knowing and speaking to waiters, bar staff in eg continental Europe, they generally seem to be treated with more respect there, their professions are more respected and it’s not like eg in UK where the job is seen as lesser, which I disagree with. Therefore especially eg in France are wages higher and less reliant on tips? Eg no minimum wage to think about as they’re paid fairly.

@Precipice huh? But it says on the menu 12.5% will be added. So you can calculate and know the all up cost.

It isn’t an error - like a wrongly stickered item in a shop - not sure why you’d make that comparison but if that’s how you see it you must get pretty irate whenever you eat out.

I usually leave a 10% tip in U.K, 18% or 20% in US.
If there’s a service charge and the service wasn’t bad then I’ll pay the 12.5%.

I agree with a previous poster, you sound cheap. It doesn’t sound like the service you received was bad, so I don’t understand what your issue was, as you said it’s likely that the staff will share tips anyway. You didn’t even tip the server you liked 10%!

Me too @Mars27 , cringing so hard reading about OP and her fella shaking hands with the poverty wage staff, and the ‘cheeky wink’, as well as unnecessarily naming the business. So glad to be out of the hospitality industry <vom>

Funny you should say that because when I worked at the touristy spot I mentioned in a pp, every single tourist from any nationality was beyond nice, they tipped the best.
Guess who were the King and Queen Cnuts?

• Just to clarify - there was no fancying the waiter. He was just a really bubbly character and I think if anybody on here encountered him in a restaurant they would think the same.

• Many people are saying I’m cheap and a pain in the backside. I’m not against tipping and planned on leaving a cash tip at the table as we always do. When requesting the bill, I usually simply say “Could we get the bill you get a moment please? Could you remove the service charge please? I’d prefer to leave a cash tip” that’s USUALLY followed by “of course no problem” and I’ll say “thank you so much”. Believe it or not, I’m actually super pleasant to everybody I meet - including waiting staff. I say please and thank you probably way too much. This wasn’t possible as the bill was placed on our table without requesting it. We had around 10 minutes left at the table. They’re pretty hot on getting you out due to how busy they get it would seem. Which isn’t a problem however it meant we weren’t able to say what we usually would.

• I agree that handing cash to one member of staff wasn’t the best idea as this means kitchen staff etc don’t get a cut. But I’ve googled and this establishment were in the news a few years ago due to service charges topping up the salaries of management and not the kitchen/waiting staff etc.

• For those saying that slipping the waiter the cash was demeaning etc. I can assure you that was never my partners intention. At this point we were both a bit taken aback by how rude this lady was and so when he approached that’s a decision my partner made. I don’t believe the waiter found it embarrassing or demeaning (I really hope not!)

• Also, we’re not middle class middle aged as I feel a few comments have suggested. We’re mid-late 20’s and working class and not on high salaries at all. We work really hard to be able to treat ourselves to experiences like these. The reality is, we probably earn not too much more than the waiting staff at this restaurant. So no, I will not be told I then have to ‘top up’ wages across the board. That is not my job. Employers are responsible for this. I will however leave a tip that I believe to be appropriate when I choose to do so.

• I’m unsure of the role of the lady mentioned, she initially seated us. And returned to offer more drinks. It seemed as though she was a waitress and perhaps the table was split between the two of them, I cannot be 100%.

• FYI I did not know that mentioning the restaurant would be so controversial?! I’m clearly not a well seasoned mumsnetter. However, I do believe that The Ned will do absolutely fine and my comments regarding one member of staff will not cause the collapse of such an establishment!

Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that the general consensus is that IABU. Clearly much like the US, the tipping culture has also taken over in the UK also. I can’t say this thread has changed my opinion in regards to asking for the service charge to be removed. I will continue to request this when asking for the bill and leave a tip that I believe reflects the service I have received.

Not keen. It's like a child's drawing and not a very good one at that.

Oops wrong thread. Sorry.

Why should I eat elsewhere because I don’t like the idea of what is clearly stated as a DISCRETIONARY service charge? I’m happy to pay my bill for the food drinks and service that I receive and staff are PAID to provide. Do you pay a service charge to supermarket staff? The people stocking the shelves, slicing the meat at the deli counter, scanning your shopping at the till? No. I don’t understand why it’s such a thing in hospitality. That being said, when happy with the service (which is 99% of the time!) we DO leave a cash tip at the table. That is truly at my discretion. Pretty ridiculous to say don’t eat there if you don’t want to not pay an OPTIONAL charge decided by management.

Didn’t realise mentioning the restaurant was so controversial to be honest! But I think The Ned will do just fine! Absolutely not trying to provoke a bad feeling towards the business. Was simply off loading and giving as much info as possible - I now know maybe don’t mention the establishment name but as I said I think The Ned of all places will do just fine even if I absolutely slated the staff, the food, the building etc

This is absolutely my thoughts however we do tip almost everywhere that adds a service charge. But I tip what I believe is appropriate, at my discretion, not management. I don’t have a particularly high paid job and we work really hard to treat ourselves to such experiences

Lmfao! The waiter was about 10 years older than myself and partner and absolutely not my type. That’s actually really quite comical. Cheap because I’d rather leave a tip of MY choosing, rather than the enforced ‘discretionary’ charge that is now expected? Please read what I’ve said carefully. I always tip good service. But that’s a choice. The waitress was extremely rude. No denying that. That’s not what my question was about.

I'm completely with you OP

And service charge used to be 10% now its 12.5% in many places