AIBU - Service Charge in restaurant

[Plantfairydoll16888]

I’d love to know your thoughts on this! We spent the bank holiday weekend in London and on Sunday went to The Ned for their Sunday Feast. Essentially it’s a huge buffet with lots of salads / charcuterie / roast dinner and all the trimmings and desserts. 1 glass of Prosecco included in the price - £90 per person!

Our initial server seated us and offered the glass of champagne. She was extremely blunt in describing how the feast worked and wasn’t friendly at all.
She came over twice throughout our meal and asked if we would like more drinks - we’d already gotten one from the bar before being seated, had a glass of Prosecco each and we also requested tap water for the table so this wasn’t needed.

Another server however had taken our plates several times throughout our meal. Replaced cutlery, always topped up water and checked on other drinks and was generally a really lovely man. He was polite and gracious and had lovely little exchanges with us throughout. When loading up at the buffet he even approached and offered to ladle on the gravy to avoid me being splashed. He also returned and topped up our Prosecco flutes for a second time whilst eating dessert, giving us a cheeky wink! There was no food service involved due to it being a buffet!

Anyway, I’m very ANTI service charge. I understand it’s becoming common practice however I do not like the concept that management decide on an additional charge at THEIR discretion. I always ask that it is removed when requesting the bill. We always have cash to leave a cash tip of our choice. Our meal cost almost £300 and included an almost £30 tip.
Some would say, if you’re paying so much for a meal then £30 isn’t much however it’s more about principle. Besides, I’ve paid enough!

With 10 minutes left on our reservation, the waitress approached with the bill, placed it on the table and walked away. I then had to get her attention and request that the service charge was removed. She didn’t say anything and returned and immediately asked “what was wrong with my service?”. I explained that our asking to remove the charge was not a reflection on the service, I simply prefer to make my own decision when it comes to tipping. She then repeated herself and asked “so you’re not leaving tip you have a problem with my service?”. I was so frustrated. This is a high end establishment - how are the staff behaving in such a way?! I then continued to explain that in fact, the other gentleman actually provided far more service to us and we would be leaving a tip that we were comfortable with. My partner paid the bill and she simply walked off.

My face must have been a picture! As the other server approached immediately and asked if everything was ok. I began to explain we asked for the service charge to be removed and he quickly interjected “yes of course of course I’ll sort that now no problem”. We then clarified everything and he was so understanding and apologetic.

My partner shook his hand and thanked him for his service - we both did - he was great, slipping a £20 in his hand (who even does that anymore lol!).

I understand that tips are usually split across the restaurant and shared with non-customer facing staff who don’t have the opportunity to earn tips however I was so shocked at how badly this server handled the situation, especially given she hardly did anything! This is the UK. All staff will earn at least minimum wage - I know that isn’t a lot but it’s the same as a lot of other people who cannot rely on tipping. The service charge should be an added bonus for exceptional service and not something that is expected, or am I being really stingy here? I much prefer leaving a cash tip that I believe reflects the service.

Service standards have gone downhill whilst bars/pubs/restaurants have taken to just adding service as if it's their right.

Showing a customer to their seat, giving menus, taking food and drink orders, clearing plates are the BASiCS. Why are customers expected to tip someone for doing the minimum?

I'm suck and tired of crap service and poor quality food. We are eating out less and less. DH refused to pay for his meal in a hotel last week because it was so poor. These places can't even seem to prepare basic food that's not even cooked from scratch!

There is no doubt in my mind that 'service' is just being added as money making. Time everyone refused to pay it and left a tip when they do receive service that goes above and beyond.

Why doesn't the restaurant just charge £100 instead of £90 and do away with the service charge?

Because service charges that go to the staff as tips are not counted as part of their revenues for the purpose of taxes. In addition, if they simply raised prices to include a service charge, then that money would never get to the staff that earned it. So it has to be separately itemised and tracked.

Plus I think diners would like to know that a restaurant values its staff enough to change a service charge that gets paid to the staff as a bonus for good work.

I understand that not everyone likes tipping culture but if I felt that strongly about it I would avoid restaurants that have an automatic service charge added to the bill (it’s usually stated on the restaurant’s website so you could check before you book).

I don’t think it reflects well on you to make a song and dance about wanting to choose your own tip amount and then leaving less than 10%. 12.5 to 15% in a central London restaurant like the Ned has been the standard for years.

I worked in hospitality for years and I don't agree with predetermined service charges being added. Tips should be at the customers discretion.

It doesn't sound like the lady who seated you was a waitress though OP. More a host perhaps? Someone who ticks off the bookings, seats the guests, introduces the menu and arranges initial drinks. The host wouldn't be clearing your plates or ladling your gravy.

You took a dislike to her. It doesn't sound like she did anything wrong, but didn't go above and beyond either.

Tips are shared out between all staff (usually not including managers/supervisors etc). Slipping the money into the chaps hand means perhaps none of the cooks, pot washers, runners etc received any tip for their hard work and you only saw the benefit in the work the waiter did. Without everyone else, you wouldn't have had the experience you did.

I don't agree with slipping money to one staff member unless that one person has done everything for you.

concept that management decide on an additional charge at THEIR discretion

I too do not approve of a separate service charge. I'd much prefer that the staff are paid a living wage and that the price that I see on the menu is the final cost.

I've had waiters follow me out from restaurants in Scandinavian and Northern European countries where I have experienced excellent service and left a cash tip in the table, to return tips left in the table, because they are highly trained professionals who are paid a decent wage and who do not 'grovel for tips'

Until the day comes that restaurants adopt the 'this is the cost' pricing I'll continue to pay the advertised service charge.

Giving a cash tip to reward above and beyond service is fair enough. A cash tip to encourage one member of the team to hide the money from the others, who have made their own contribution: that's really not a good look.

Agree that you maybe didn't understand the role of the person who greeted you. The actual waiter sounds unprofessional, reminds me of the handsome, young, not remarkably talented winner of a talent competition I recently saw. He gleefully shared his strategy which was flirting with all the drunk old women. As the parent of people his age it made me laugh ..these old women were early 30's 🤣

Hmmm. I think asking for the service charge to be removed is a bit over the top for lacklustre (but not bad) service.

I've only done it once, where it was all sooo comically bad (issues in the kitchen, wrong meals brought, Basil Fawlty style etc.) that the waiter said "fair enough".

Her service doesn't sound great for the price, but the behaviour of you and your husband was worse.

I'd hate for someone to slip a note into my hand like that. How demeaning.

I don't agree with tipping in general tbf.

I think I speak on behalf of all the hospitality staff anywhere (and I don't even work in hospitality anymore), when I thank you "for eating out less and less". Customers like you are the stuff of nightmares.

Not paying because you didn't like the food? Excuse me, someone cooked it, another person served and another one is going to wash your plates, the restaurant needs to be paid, the fact that you didn't like the food is on you, entirely irrelevant.

I'm going to try my luck going round restaurants, eating whatever and saying "Well, I didn't like so I'm not paying for it" and see how it goes 🙄

You sound like a total PITA.

Tbf, she says the food was poor, not that he just didn't like it.
If it was over or under cooked or not prepared properly due to lack of care and attention from the chef then they are right to not pay. That said, they should have notified the staff immediately and requested a replacement meal.

When I worked in hospitality I would have asked if he wanted the same again or a different meal, comped the poor one and provided some drinks or dessert for free.

If someone doesn't notify staff and sits there with an empty plate then complaining that they didn't like it, tough luck.

😂 i promise the fucking NED will be absolutely fine. 😂😂

The service charge is an extra charge that has been added. It's no more over the top to ask for it to be removed than it is to ask for any other overcharge to be removed. Is it "over the top" to raise the issue if your dish has been charged at 17.99 when it was 15.99 on the menu? "Over the top" if you have been charged 17.99 in Waterstones when the price on the book indicates 15.99? "Over the top" when you are being charged more than the previously indicated and advertised price? You're being fleeced.

Yes the food was completely over cooked - it was a burger fgs - how do you mess that up!!

It's all very well telling the waiting staff (if you can get their attention) and getting a replacement meal however when you are out in a group this completely ruins the lunch/dinner as you are left waiting and then finishing after everyone else.

My point is, service standards and quality have fallen. Customers seem to be expected to 'understand', these aren't complex things they are the basics.

Everyone is paid for doing a job. pay them properly and charge accordingly like any other normal business.

Crikey! Have a lot of people had a bad bank holiday weekend?

Would you speak to people face to face the way you are speaking to OP?

Who cares if the buffet was £90.00 pp, massive jumps to say @Plantfairydoll16888 fancied the waiter!!? Bizarre to say the least.

I Think maybe the tip was a little low, but the waitress sounded a bit rude and as long as you leave a tip thats the main thing.

If you have good service in a restaurant then isn't it a bit of a faff to ask them to remove the service charge so you can leave it separately? That would be my only thought really.

I agree with many of the sentiments of PP's. I think we have lost sight of the origin of tips. In the US for example, waiting staff get shit pay, your tip acknowledges good service and gives them a wage boost. Here, everyone is paid a minimum wage (often more in top restaurants, to even get staff) the service is often poor, and the service is automatically added. For what? What additional service are we paying for?

Service charge being added as standard to a buffet is ridiculous and you did the right thing asking for it to be removed. I agree tipping should be at a customers discretion and only given when service is above the basic level expected.

Id complain about the rude woman you had to deal with, she sounds like she barely deserves a job, let alone a tip!

I agree OP, I and not keen on a service charge, I would pay it though, I have never asked for it to be removed. But if does feel like a tax, I often wonder if it goes to the servers? I prefer to tip in cash if a server is friendly & pleasant.

Where does OP say they were fit and young?

Ps. £20 is a rubbish tip on that amount

Fair enough you wanted to tip rather than pay the service charge.

What I don't get is why you are not tipping all the people behind the scene who prepared your meal, cleaned up after it etc because you did not like the service that one member of staff provided to you.
I think the way that you treated the man who serviced you could be seen as quite belittling tbh.

The point is if you don't like the idea of a service charge then eat somewhere else. I don't like service charges either. But you were wrong to withhold it. You sound very difficult tp please. There was nothing wrong with the sevice you got. YABU.

Not quite on topic, but as we are just finishing a London trip I'm wondering why and when it was decided that tipping has become 12.5% rather than 10%?

I genuinely don't mind tipping, but I like to be able to work out how much it's likely to be which is easy at 10% and also as prices have gone up, the wait staff are already getting a decent amount at 10%.