AIBU - Service Charge in restaurant

[Plantfairydoll16888]

I’d love to know your thoughts on this! We spent the bank holiday weekend in London and on Sunday went to The Ned for their Sunday Feast. Essentially it’s a huge buffet with lots of salads / charcuterie / roast dinner and all the trimmings and desserts. 1 glass of Prosecco included in the price - £90 per person!

Our initial server seated us and offered the glass of champagne. She was extremely blunt in describing how the feast worked and wasn’t friendly at all.
She came over twice throughout our meal and asked if we would like more drinks - we’d already gotten one from the bar before being seated, had a glass of Prosecco each and we also requested tap water for the table so this wasn’t needed.

Another server however had taken our plates several times throughout our meal. Replaced cutlery, always topped up water and checked on other drinks and was generally a really lovely man. He was polite and gracious and had lovely little exchanges with us throughout. When loading up at the buffet he even approached and offered to ladle on the gravy to avoid me being splashed. He also returned and topped up our Prosecco flutes for a second time whilst eating dessert, giving us a cheeky wink! There was no food service involved due to it being a buffet!

Anyway, I’m very ANTI service charge. I understand it’s becoming common practice however I do not like the concept that management decide on an additional charge at THEIR discretion. I always ask that it is removed when requesting the bill. We always have cash to leave a cash tip of our choice. Our meal cost almost £300 and included an almost £30 tip.
Some would say, if you’re paying so much for a meal then £30 isn’t much however it’s more about principle. Besides, I’ve paid enough!

With 10 minutes left on our reservation, the waitress approached with the bill, placed it on the table and walked away. I then had to get her attention and request that the service charge was removed. She didn’t say anything and returned and immediately asked “what was wrong with my service?”. I explained that our asking to remove the charge was not a reflection on the service, I simply prefer to make my own decision when it comes to tipping. She then repeated herself and asked “so you’re not leaving tip you have a problem with my service?”. I was so frustrated. This is a high end establishment - how are the staff behaving in such a way?! I then continued to explain that in fact, the other gentleman actually provided far more service to us and we would be leaving a tip that we were comfortable with. My partner paid the bill and she simply walked off.

My face must have been a picture! As the other server approached immediately and asked if everything was ok. I began to explain we asked for the service charge to be removed and he quickly interjected “yes of course of course I’ll sort that now no problem”. We then clarified everything and he was so understanding and apologetic.

My partner shook his hand and thanked him for his service - we both did - he was great, slipping a £20 in his hand (who even does that anymore lol!).

I understand that tips are usually split across the restaurant and shared with non-customer facing staff who don’t have the opportunity to earn tips however I was so shocked at how badly this server handled the situation, especially given she hardly did anything! This is the UK. All staff will earn at least minimum wage - I know that isn’t a lot but it’s the same as a lot of other people who cannot rely on tipping. The service charge should be an added bonus for exceptional service and not something that is expected, or am I being really stingy here? I much prefer leaving a cash tip that I believe reflects the service.

Anyone who thinks waiting tables at a fine dining establishment is unskilled is simply showing their ignorance. One thing I miss about France and Italy is the respect shown to wait staff who have made a vocation of this profession

Unskilled doesn't mean bad at your job or that every worker is as good as the other. It simply means no specialised training is necessary. A doctor is skilled labour while a hospital porter isn't. Both need to be good at their jobs.

In the context of salary, as skilled labour is more scarce than unskilled, the demand is usually higher than the supply.

Regardless, skilled or not, I still maintain that a fiver per diner comes out to a very nice hourly wage.

The variety of opinions on this thread is incredible. Personally I fucking loathe tipping culture. I say this having worked hospitality jobs in my youth and absolutely loved the joy of receiving tips. But honestly, I receive good service regularly from people where tipping isn't expected so why on Earth do we 'expect' tipping for food? I had great service from my EE customer service rep the other day and I thanked her profusely. I didn't send her £20 in thanks. Even if we consider minimum wage jobs, I don't tip the cashier at Sainsbury or the refuse collectors (except maybe a box of chocks at Xmas) so why I'm expected to tip for food is beyond me.

People saying there is shame in not paying service charge are not really being rational. I leave tips in group settings but only to be fair to the others. On my own or with DP I never leave a tip. We eat and drink well, we are polite, friendly and respectful and we pay our bill. No chance am I leaving extra cash for no bloody reason. We all work hard. We do our jobs and don't expect special treatment so fuck knows what makes a waiter/waitress so special!

This.

Should we start slipping the surgeon £20 post op? That they are already being paid for.

Add a service charge onto the food shop for the person that scanned your shopping? That they are already being paid for.

Tip the postie for delivering letters? That they are already being paid for.

Waiting staff work hard. Just like everyone else. They might be paid low wages but that's just the nature of working in a job like that. People in other jobs will be paid the same and don't have this tipping culture. Higher paid jobs come with responsibility, qualifications, experience, specific skills.

I just don't get the obsession over leaving a massive tip for someone who is doing their job and getting paid a wage for it.

Of course, leave a tip if you feel that you have received exceptional service and want to recognise that. But don't call people out, or suggest they shouldn't be eating out (and paying their bill) if they can't or don't tip.

I am a lot more brutal about service charges when the meal is expensive because they assume that you are made of money and will tip generously regardless. We had a much cheaper meal today in Cafe Rouge in the sun. I was delighted to pay the service charge in this instance. We eat out all the time and I have noticed that the little conversation which used to take place about adding a service charge no longer takes place. They add it like they are entitled. I know that hospitality is really struggling but when a meal has been rubbish, I do resent that optional is now compulsory, especially after I have dropped big hints about not enjoying the meal at the time of requesting the bill. A couple of weeks ago, we were in a restaurant swamped by a large, noisy family group and the staff were well aware that it ruined the meals of other diners but played dumb when this was flagged.

I will only add that

1. Wait staff at fine dining establishments are indeed very skilled. They all receive a lot of on the job training customers (hopefully) do not see. Some of the most elite attend hotel management schools on the continent.
2. I happen to prefer the inclusion of a service charge with the meal in the continental manner. Have it removed if you like - to each her own. To me, a certain theme on this thread bolsters the evidence for a rather unflattering reputation that a certain segment of the British have on the continent. I will henceforth stop defending them.

Well that’s a tantrum.

Let’s look at like this:

A £5 latte served tepid and the barista forgot to change the coffee grounds for the espresso. The result tastes like crap. You think I’m wrong to complain it tastes like crap? Their job is to prepare to a professional and consistent quality.

If one cannot do so they should not be in the food service industry. There’s a difference between disliking something and it being prepared incorrectly. Its obnoxious to think you can prepare what you want and the customer shouldn’t complain.

That's shameful.

I really have mixed feelings here. I kind of agree that the customer should decide how much and if to tip. I don't think the waitress should have questioned it.
At the same time I think you're being a bit tight. I go out with 3 friends for dinner every month and the tip is always added to the bill. Every single time I'm happy to pay but they make a fuss and demand it's removed. We're only talking about £3 or £4 per person here but they insist it's removed. They then tip about 50p each and the whole business just makes me cringe. So cheap and classless.

It's not.

We recently went to a high end restaurant in Manchester and had £30 charge added on. They added 12.5% of the which i think is a lot.The sever did take this off when asked and then we left some cash as a tip.

One of the Manchester restaurants that could be the one you're talking about only give the staff a fraction of that service charge too

12.5% isn’t a lot but refusing to distribute fully to staff is awful.

I visit Manchester annually at least and am asked about dining preferences. Would appreciate knowing to avoid such places, @OMGitsnotgood

See this article

Thanks!

If someone is paying a couple of hundred pounds for a meal, there should be a reasonable assumption the staff are being paid a fair wage. I don't think it's mean or being tight to expect service to be included in the overall price - that's the deal in a restaurant isn't it? The customer pays a premium and someone else cooks and serves the food?
Tipping culture is fundamentally unfair (in countries where staff are paid properly). It's totally random to tip a waiter or hairdresser but not a bus driver or supermarket worker. It's awkward af too.
But I'm at the notion it's tight to not fancy paying an extra £30 tip on a £300 bill.