Do you eat meals with your dc?

[CloudAtlas]

Mine are still very small, oldest is 2.2, and I don't normally eat meals with them during the week. I don't fancy what they eat for lunch, and if they're having something like salmon, it seems a bit decadent for me to have the same iykwim. I tend to grab a cheese sandwich or toast when they go down for their sleep. They eat their dinner at 5pm, OH not back from work until much later so we eat together then.
Been thinking about it, and think I should make more of an effort to eat lunch with them.

What do you do?

We try to eat as many meals together as possible - difficult on week nights though as DD1 has some activity on almost every night. I prefer it when we can eat together though, like others have said it teaches table manners etc but it also means that usually DD2 who is 2.5 eats a lot more of her meals than if she were on her own or if I was just sitting with her

Always eat together except for the odd Friday or Saturday night when dp and I might have a take-away or special meal when the dcs are in bed.

Find it really weird and quite worrying that some people eat different things from their dcs. Why?

Either you are saying that the children deserve to eat healthily and a variety and you don't or the other way around. It's a very dangerous route to think that there's such a thing as 'children's food' (and this makes parents vulnerable to marketing and spending more money than they need to not to mention the inconvenience of cooking 2 meals and setting and clearing the table twice).

If you listen to nutritionists, health professionals and parents with children with eating disorders or who are faddy or overweight they 9 times out of 10 they don't eat together and don't model eating good, healthy food and a range of food.

Some people try eating with their kids/ introducing new foods/ getting their kids to eat vegetables find it stressful and so give up saying things like, 'Oh, my child is just a fussy eater/ doesn't like vegetables ...'
They don't seem to realize that helping your kids to learn to eat healthily, politely etc is a PROCESS which goes on for years. You're not going to turn your kids into healthy and polite eaters in a single meal or even a week or even a year any more than you're going to get them to be models of good behaviour or great readers or footballers in that sort of time scale.

We eat as a family at weekends.

During the week, I sit with the boys while they eat dinner - I'll just have a slice of toast or a cup of tea.

Dh and I eat later on because dh doesn't get in until 7pm and that's too late for the boys to eat (they are 6, 5, 3). We also like that time together in the evening - often I need to work in the office so the fact that we eat dinner together at least means we get that time to catch up!

Hurricane - it's not always that simple. As I say, dh gets in from work at 7pm and my children are going to bed at 7.15!! They eat dinner at 5pm, have a bath, do reading books etc and then bed. It's just not gonna work on week/school days.

Yes, I cook a proper lunch for me and 18mo DS, and all 5 of us have dinner together at about 7.30pm. We all eat the same thing, unless it's unsuitable for DS, in which case he has either a modified version or something different entirely/leftovers.

Dinner is often the only time we have to talk together on a normal weekday, so it's sacred

I didn't leave them alone when eating till they were 3-4 because I was worried about choking. I would usually eat lunch with them when at home and we have always eaten dinner together around 5-6 now. Maybe 7-8 at the weekends. It just seems to be a cause of fussyness and lack of appetite if they are left alone with their food IYKWIM. I know I don't like eating a meal by myself without someone to chat with and share.

And quite often if children are consistently eating alone they are served different foods to the parents which I think is unfair on both, as A) they are missing out on a perhaps more sophisticated dish which they should be able to enjoy, and B)they will often then start deciding what they want which will be the same types of things all the time and then they get arsey with the parents when something different or 'grown up' is served.

DH & I eat with the children 3 times a day.

Whatever the experts say, this hasn't improved their manners or taught them to use cutlery - they still mostly use their paws like bears at a picnic.

It WILL have though Duchess even if it isn't obvious right now. How else are they supposed to learn if not from you?

I think there is an assumption as I've said that eating a range of healthy food politely is automatic and kids either can or can't do it. It's not like that any more than reading or sharing or swimming is. If you stopped taking your child to the pool because they were a bit scared the first time they went in then they'd never learn.

We all eat breakfast in bed together.
Lunch I always eat with dd, same food, at the table, with 'proper glasses' instead of her usual plastic spouty cup.
In the evenings some times we eat as a family, sometimes dd has an early tea and dh & I eat when she's in bed.
In the holidays we always eat as a family. I would never cook something different for dd if we were eating together.

Yes, and I think it's very important to do so and to eat the same thing. I would make changes to my own or my daughter's (and DP's) habits if we weren't eating together as a family as much as is possible - for me this is one of the high priority bits of being a parent.

On the occasions where I'm not actually sitting down to a meal with my little girl (she's 19 months), I still sit at the table with her and we chat, I might have a snack or a very small plate of what she's having.

It's about sociability, interaction, developing a healthy relationship with food and eating, learning, exploring.

My nephew who is nine always eats his evening meal alone and has different food to whatever his parents will eat later. I find this genuinely sad.

We don't always eat breakfast together- often DP and I are running around in the morning but the children sit together and eat.
I eat lunch with DS and we all eat our evening meal together-depending on DP's shifts, but we usually manage it daily

we have the same food for all where possible excepting the major spicy curries

every breakfast we are all together
lunch is ds & I
and his supper is with me at the table but i have something to pick on
i think its really important to eat together its way more than food..

hurricane i have a friend who bangs on about children's food, i am not exactly sure what she meant as soup was not served to her kids one day
soup to me is everyone friendly and for kids nutritious and good way of getting the veg in them...

my idea was to have the minimum of fuss and expose him to just food as we eat it
and
i dont run a cafe...

I'd say yes, but in reality they eat, and I run backwards and forwards with clean forks, soapy cloths, more water, clean water, kitchen roll, another clean fork, extra cheese..............

Hurricane, sorry but I disagree with some of what you are saying.

A family can eat every single meal together for years, but for some it makes no difference.

My dc don't necessarily different food or 'children's food'. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. FOr some families it is physically impossible to eat together the majority or even some of the time.

hurricane - perhaps DH & I should stop eating like bears?

I have to say that they do eat a good range of food and the only time they have a different dinner is when DH & I have steak - not because I wouldn't give it to them but because they're not keen (yet).

Yes, (dd 15m) and dh does if he's home in time. 2 days a week he has dinner with her as I don't get back from work till after 6, but all other meals I have with her. She's always eaten what we eat, but I do have spare fishcakes and pasta sauce in the freezer for when I'm disorganised/want fish and chips...

I always eat Dinner with mine we all eat the same,

Lunch time is different as they are at school and nursery school but we eat together for lunch and tea at a weekend and in the holidays

never seem to have breakfast together very often though unless I cook a proper breakfast or we have pancakes

So much smugness on this thread - good for you if you have pre-school children and/or your partner is in at a time condusive to eating with children. It's just possible for some families.

Personally I think it's more important for my nursery/infant aged children to get to bed at a decent hour and be alert enough for school next day.

They don't eat crap just because they eat at 5pm - they eat perfectly healthy and balanced food - just not at the same time as dh.

In fact some of this has me laughing my socks off - life with one 19 month old completely different to one with several school aged children. I remember it well and it was a piece of piss by comparison.

Bit harsh, Elphaba - OP was referring to children under 2.2, and most people are simply describing what they do, as requested.

No, some people are saying it's 'weird' if you don't and that it's wrong to give them different food and how will they learn table manners etc.

I wasn't referring to the OP when talking about a 19 month old - I'm just using an example. Life is completely different with one small child - the world revolves around them and it's simple to adjust things to their needs when you don't have 1001 other things to do like you do with older children.

I don't know why I give a shit really. Am very busy and not really remotely bothered what random virtual people do!

What are you doing on mumsnet then

Yes, as often as possible. Right from DD being very small DH and I decided that it was really important for us to share our evening meal together. So we eat when DH gets in at 6:30pm. It works well for us and I do think it has helped DD to become such a good eater. If I am with DD during the day I eat lunch with her too. Breakfast she tends to eat with her daddy.

DD is at school now so if she has a play date I don't eat with her, she eats with her friends instead; DH and I will eat later.

I (and DH if he is not away) eat breakfast and lunch with DS every day (apart from the days he is at nursery).

For tea, he usually has sandwiches of some variety which he has as a picnic in the lounge (the reason for this is that he eats far more this way as he can go back and pick at it in between playing) - me and DH have our tea when he has gone to bed.

On a Sunday, I do a special meal and we all eat tea together at the table.

We do tend to eat different things - not because DS has 'special' children's food etc - but purely because he has his hot meal (which is usually leftovers of one of our meals) at lunchtime and a 'snacky' tea (this is his routine at nursery so I like to follow it) whereas me and DH have a small lunch and a big tea. Sundays we do all eat the same thing for all 3 meals.

we eat separately for breakfast, simply because it is so hectic......DH leaves for work at 6/7ish, I get kiddies sorted, and then 5 go to three different schools and have different leaving times so breakfast is on the 'hop' in our house.

when they were tiny and not at school, and now at weekends and hols, lunch is together as much as possible, but by no means standard.

dinner/tea (whichever name you choose), is together 6 nights in 7. I insis as it teaches manners and sociableness (is that a word??), and it is a guaruntee that we all get to talk and catch up. we do eat later however as dancing is often not finished until 7pm!

however, when DH is away, or when they were tiny, I would/do feed the kiddies, and then me/dh later when all are settled.