LinkedIn chat about men bringing their dd into women’s loos

[thetinsoldier]

As above. He says he doesn’t want to take her into men’s loos, what should he do? Cue lots of women saying it’s fine, come into our loos, we don’t mind at all.

I said he should find a family loo or unisex loo, or take her into the men’s. He doesn’t want to, says he wouldn’t be using the loo. I said that he’d still be there, and that many women need single sex spaces for religious or other reasons, plus it’s the law.

He’s just said it seems to be the consensus that he should use the women’s loos.

Why are some men so selfish?

What else can I say?

When I was a kid, if I went anywhere with my dad, he took me into the men’s with him. Including the changing rooms at the pool when he was teaching me to swim. That was accepted and completely logical at the time. I don’t know when people lost their minds over this issue.

Option 1: Take DD into disabled
Option 2: Take DD into men’s but not past 8
Option 3: Send DD into women’s alone. Stand by door, ask frequently ‘you good x?’, partly to check DD is okay and partly to let the women know you’re not a creep hanging outside their toilets.

A man entering a women’s space is never okay, and men know it. I think any man using his DD as an excuse is a predator. Quite frankly I’d be very concerned for his DD too.

So you walk out of a cubicle and there is a man standing just in front of the cubicle door. You tell him this is the ladies and he says it's OK my DD is in there and points at the next cubicle. How do you know if he is telling the truth or covering for the fact he has been caught somewhere he shouldn't be?

How about if a 10 year old girl is now alone in the ladies with a strange man? @Emptytreeswhisper.

By that reasoning no woman should enter a public loo for any reason other than to use the toilet.

A disabled toilet is for the disabled, surely.

It seems you are OK pushing the man out of your space but have no qualms in allowing him to go in someone else's.

It's already been explained why a men's toilet is not suitable for a little girl.

I think, given that dads/carers are allowed to take their small daughter into a public ladies toilet, women who see every man as a potential threat should use one of the three options already stated upthread.

So what harm would come to a little girl with her dad if she enters a men’s toilet? Surely the dad would shout out ahead of time? If men are uncomfortable with a little girl in there, they have other options

On balance I’d rather a girl was taken into the women’s toilets with their df rather than a stinking and often gross men’s toilet. However I don’t think dad necessarily needs to hang about if he’s not gone into the cubicle.

This may not show, I hope it does.
Who is the ridiculous one here??

A dad took his daughters into the women's toilet — then the police were called | Metro News

No, men are not allowed in women’s toilets.

So if men are allowed to bring their daughters into women’s facilities, does that mean women should take their sons into men’s facilities? If not, why not?

There is no law that says that's the case.
Father's can take small daughters into a public female lavatory if they need to go.

I doubt any sane mother alive would choose to use a stinky gents loo with a small son, rather than a female toilet.

then why is no one telling men to do better? Women get extra pressure on their facilities as we now get children of both sexes in there and men don’t. Women already spend more time having to queue as there are often not enough cubicles. Maybe if women did take their sons into men’s they might start not being so gross.

Who says? Not by law they can’t. The men don’t have a right to go in the women’s. Why can a man not take his daughter into the men’s. They have cubicles.

Not in the UK. This was one of the examples gives in the recent EHRC guidance. Women can take their young sons into female loos. Men must take their young daughters into male loos. Or find a family loo.

Are you talking about a moral right or a legal right here?

Legally it's allowed.
Morally it depends whether you agree with a father being able to tend to his young daughter in a safer, more hygienic facility or not.
Children do have rights, in this country at least.

Did you watch the video above?

Instead of simply repeating they are not allowed ...can you please show where it's written that a father/carer is legally forbidden to take his young daughter into a publicly owned ladies loo in the UK.

So which law states men can access women’s facilities? I’ve asked this before but you may have forgotten to answer. If men’s toilets are so disgusting, maybe as a man he should campaign to get men to do better. Why should women let a man into their spaces because he prefers women’s spaces? What would he do if women’s spaces were disgusting? She’ll be perfectly fine in the men’s with him.

Can you show where he is legally allowed to enter?

You’re like a dog with a bone!

sex matters says: ‘These are common-sense rules. It is well understood, for example, that people will not reasonably object to an infant or young child in an opposite-sex washroom or changing room with their parent. In some places there may be explicit rules about this (such as ”boys under 8 are allowed into the ladies’ changing rooms”), but mainly people are trusted to be sensible, and can be challenged if they are not.’

This is used as an example in the EHRC guidance, but I don’t have time to search for it. Why don’t you?

And why are you so focused on allowing men into women’s spaces? Can you point to the law that says this IS legal???

Yes he is. The women's part isn't only the cubicles - it's the whole area including the washbasins, which he has entered to supervise his daughter. You know, the area behind the door lablled WOMEN. It doesn't make a difference if he's washing his hands, staring at himself in the mirror, or just standing there. He is in the women-only toilets and should not be.

You still haven't provided any evidence that it's legally allowed (it's not).

Let's address the "moral right". You seem to be saying they should use the women's as it's safer and more hygienic.
a) he will be there (in the men's) with the girl, so how is she at risk?
b) if the men's loos are so disgusting, what if he has a young son? Does the son have a right to a more hygienic facility, and would he take the son in the women's for this reason? Of course not, so it's nonsense.

Key Legal and Practical Rules

• Absence of a Blanket Ban: Simply walking into a women's restroom is not a standalone criminal offense in the UK unless it involves a separate illegal act, such as voyeurism, harassment, or disorderly behavior. 1]
• Business and Property Rights: Toilets in shops, restaurants, and public venues are private or semi-private property. Business owners set access policies based on the BBC News statutory code from the Equality and Human Rights Commission. If a person refuses to leave after a staff member asks them to go, they can be treated as a trespasser. 1, 2]
• Practical and Lawful Entry: Certain situations involve men entering female facilities out of necessity or duty, such as male cleaners doing maintenance, emergency service workers responding to an incident, or a father assisting a young daughter who cannot use a men's room alone.

If you are saying I am 'like a dog with a bone' because I am proving I am right and you are wrong, so be it.
Your own post above is agreeing with me...unless, of course, you are disregarding 'common sense'.
My post above yours states the legal position.