LinkedIn chat about men bringing their dd into women’s loos

[thetinsoldier]

As above. He says he doesn’t want to take her into men’s loos, what should he do? Cue lots of women saying it’s fine, come into our loos, we don’t mind at all.

I said he should find a family loo or unisex loo, or take her into the men’s. He doesn’t want to, says he wouldn’t be using the loo. I said that he’d still be there, and that many women need single sex spaces for religious or other reasons, plus it’s the law.

He’s just said it seems to be the consensus that he should use the women’s loos.

Why are some men so selfish?

What else can I say?

My DH always took our girls to the men’s without any problems.

I don’t think there is anything we can say. While swathes of women heedlessly give away the hard won rights of others, we have to claw it back one court case at a time.

I was thinking about it at the weekend, in a loo queue of women and children. The women’s toilets get busier, the men’s even quieter.

Isn’t it ironic that he feels his dd shouldn’t need to go in the men’s while denying that women’s space to all the other women and girls.

It doesn't matter what you are or aren't doing in a public toilet - even if you only want to wash your hands or comb your hair, you still have to use the correct one for your sex and not invade the safe space of the opposite sex.

The only exception to strictly only using your own-sex toilet is little kids who can't go in on their own yet (or be safely left on their own outside), in which case they go in the toilets corresponding to the sex of the adult who is taking them - whether that adult needs the toilet themselves or not.

People always used to understand this common sense social rule perfectly clearly; why are so many people obtuse about it nowadays and seeking to invade places where they very obviously have no justification in being?

Funny how men don't want their daughters to use men's toilets and also how they don't want to call out other men for poor behaviour. By that I mean peeing all over the place etc. This outlook that mens facilities are so dreadful is so strange. If they are then the outlook and behaviour needs to change.

What else can I say?

You don’t have to say anything, why have an argument with a stranger on LinkedIn of all places, it’s a professional network, heavy on DEI and disingenuous virtual signalling.
LinkedIn is not the place for this discussion.

Yeah, true, but he was so entitled I felt I had to say something to show him that not all women are happy for him to swan in.

Exactly!

how does he know there were no problems? Maybe not for him. What about women who may not have wanted a man in their space? Did any thought of them ever cross his mind?

Why are men so selfish is a push isn’t it? I’ve never had a problem with a man taking a little girl in, do you want her to go in on her own or do you want him to bring her in and have her around men?

And most places unfortunately don’t have family toilets

just because you wouldn’t mind does not mean all women would not mind does it? He needs to plan better. Find a unisex bathroom or take her into the men’s. He can just shout, “kid coming through” as a heads up, or ask a fellow man to check the coast is clear before taking her in. See… many, many solutions that don’t involve him taking her into the women’s.

@Rollingpinofdoom you may want to re-read @PersephoneParlormaid post..

Arrrrgh. I am so sorry. Definitely need new glasses.

Rollingpinofdoom

all not great solutions though, aren’t they? And I think most women wouldn’t mind a man saying sorry you don’t mind if I bring my daughter in!! Very hard to find a unisex toilet when you need one!!

Why on earth would a grown man think this? Seriously the world is fucked up!

There is almost zero chance of DD actually seeing anything adverse in mens. Because no one is waving them around in there..

I mind. And lots of women do mind. Some of whom do not have the confidence to face a possible confrontation by saying no.

My daughter was always taken into the men's when out with her father without problems.

But what about the women that do? Or do they not count. He’s a grown up. He can figure out a way without making others uncomfortable.

It isn't the law.

Maybe you'd have been better telling him that LinkedIn wasn't the forum for that discussion.

Yet its fine for all the young girls using the ladies to have a random man just waltz in? You're happy for random men to walk into the ladies with their kid while your daughter is alone in there? Because I'm not happy with that.

I saw a similar post on Facebook recently. A man had taken his daughter into the men's, his wife was "furious" at this and told him he should take her into the women's in future so he was asking if this was OK. Hundreds of "yes fine" replies barely any saying no, you are a man you can't go into the ladies and those that did had replies telling them they were wrong, think of the poor girl.

I despair at how many women are happy to turn women only spaces mix sex.

It is. It’s one of the examples used in the guidance: it’s fine for a woman to take her young sons into the women’s loo. The opposite also holds true.

I didn’t think of it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Which is what I said.