A "real man" treats a woman like a princess!

[everychildmatters]

If my husband "treated me like a princess" that would be the end of our marriage! I absolutely expect to be treated with respect, but not like some sort of fragile and needy person simply because I'm female!
Why do so many women feel the need to be "looked after" as if they are a child? To me, it screams subservience (but perhaps I am reading more into this than I should do?)

@DoyalikeDags So should we not be questioning why women - as you put it "choose to enter into less well paid work" than men? Do they really CHOOSE to? That wouldn't make any sort of sense to most people I would imagine. Or is it more likely a societal expectation?
I don't agree with the SAHM debate from a perspective of biology after maternity leave. As I said, I breastfed and worked with no issue. Women don't need more than a year to physically recover from childbirth do they?

Women don't 'choose to enter into less well paid work" they choose to go into work that often happens to pay less than men, there is a difference there. How many women want to put up scaffold in mid July or drive lorries in icy February to sleep over in dark lay bys at night. How many women want to drop down the sewers to unclog shit or spend 6 months on a dangerous offshore oil rig. Very, very few.

Why did you work in a predominantly female dominated occupation? You have said you were a primary school teacher on other threads. Men make up only 13% of primary school teachers. Could it be that women generally prefer engaging with younger children and men do not.

Do you not credit yourself with being responsible for your own choice of occupation? Honestly, why did you want to be a teacher if not for the children.

No women don't need more than a year to recover, that is why maternity leave is what it is. It just so happens that many women don't want to return to work after that period and often it isn't financially worth it after childcare costs.

@DoyalikeDags A huge reason than men don't go into teaching is because it doesn't pay enough if they are expected to be the main earner.
If I had my time again I wouldn't have become a teacher - the job is awful and has got worse. Mostly because of entitled parents but for many other reasons, too.
And you honestly think men LIKE the jobs you describe?
Note also I said work when then children are at school if childcare costs are an issue.

What does it mean to "treat someone like a princess?"

Enforce strict rules on their appearance and behaviour? Make them fly around the world shaking people's hands? Invade their privacy? Treat their children as public property from early pregnancy?

What’s sad is that women feel the need to judge others. Surely, as long as someone is happy, who cares what their marital situation is.
Like the comment on the wife who stayed when her husband had affairs- unless you are genuinely concerned re someone’s well being then mind your business, you don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes. The condescending faux concern, which actually is poorly veiled judgment at the silly little lady, is actually not a good look.

@feelingalittlehorse Simply put, other women's choices have an impact on women as a collective.

'A huge reason than men don't go into teaching is because it doesn't pay enough if they are expected to be the main earner.' You can't know that! Why is that men make up only 13% or primary school teachers but 37.1% of secondary school teachers then? The evidence suggests that women are more inclined to work with young children than men are.

Why did you become a teacher in the first place? You didn't answer that.

I never suggested men liked the jobs I described. I'm sure some do though. I pointed out that men tend to earn more money than women because they are doing the majority of dangerous, physical jobs that women refuse to do.

Fair enough when children are at school the childcare costs lessen. But, if a couple can afford to have a SAHP who can drop off and pick up the kids and be there for them after school then that is only a good thing. I know I loved coming home to my mum rather than an empty house after school.

I never suggested men liked the jobs I described. I'm sure some do though. I pointed out that men tend to earn more money than women because they are doing the majority of dangerous, physical jobs that women refuse to do.

It's not only that. There's evidence that in fields where men used to be dominant and well paid, average pay goes down as more women enter i'r- dentistry and medicine are examples.

I work in a msle dominated field, and apart from my line manager, I'm the only woman in the (large) department, and it's been like that most of my career. I've had to fight for pay in a way my male colleagues never have, and have had some huge payrises (23% in one case) just to level me up. And we're more than 50 years since the equal pay act. Women's work just isn't valued as much, even when they are demonstrably better at the role.

I would guess the average princess doesn't have to worry about paying bills, as it implies affluence, if nothing else.

@EBearhug Exactly this. So many women believe they make these decisions in a vacuum but the reality is they impact upon us all as you have illustrated so well here.

Ok so why did you choose to be a teacher?

@DoyalikeDags Because at 21 I was naive. Having said that, I am pleased I got the qualification and held onto my career. When my very wealthy ex-husband left me homeless with my two young sons I could find a small place to rent and put a roof over our heads. Interestingly enough he was very ashamed of his working wife - felt it emasculated him. Idiot.
I no longer teach but I've always worked and would never for one second consider not doing so. I have three children now and I could comfortably support them by myself.
There is simply no such thing as a guarantee that marriage is for life and women need to be able to stand on their own two feet at all times.

Most people are naïve at 21 but that doesn't address what drew you to primary school teaching in the first place. You either wanted to work with small children, judging from your username I'd say this was the case, or you didn't know your own mind and were bullied by society into entering a female dominated occupation.

You see how it makes a bit of a mockery of your own argument regarding gender roles when you are in a typically female field because you like kids which is another typically female trait. But God forbid a woman wants to stay home with her own children.

Why is it so difficult for people on MN to accept men and women are generally interested in different things. How many women do you see in the crowd at a game of football? How many men do you see in the crowd at a Take That concert?

But that’s not what you’ve outlined in your OP? Those are two different things. Being treated like a princess is being looked after and/or being put on a pedestal and/or adhering to some gender norms (ish) such as man does outside jobs/DIY/is the provider, woman concentrates on looking nice and having nice things but probably has a cleaner. She doesn’t want to do those things and instead wants to be “treated like a princess”. Being TOLD you can’t do that you are a woman” by a man is being demeaned and undermined. They are two different things surely?

@DoyalikeDags Best you tell my husband that...he's an (unqualified) children's SW!!! 😆It was more due to family history - my grandma, and father (a man) and my brother (also a man) were all teachers.
I didn't choose my career based on the fact I'm a woman.
But thankfully I did choose a career and have always worked. It was imperative when the shit hit the fan and I am so glad I didn't give up my career for a man. My kids needed me to provide for them and that I did. It's my role as a mother, equally as it is a father's.

@TatteredAndTorn Well if a woman genuinely wants to be treated in that way, can she really complain if she is TOLD she has to be? It's potentially a slippery slope to control.

Yes they are. I think OP just doesn't like women who don't have to work. Being a SAHM doesn't mean being a 'Princess', it's just derogatory language aimed at women who are 'looked after' financially.

@DoyalikeDags Not having to work and choosing to work are two different things. I didn't have to work when I was married to Mr Rich Narc. But thank God I chose to; the hostels with young kids would have been really difficult I would imagine.

There are always exceptions to the rule.

Yes when a woman is separated from the father of her children it is both parents responsibility to provide for the children whilst in eithers respective care. How that looks is different for everyone depending on custody arrangements, child maintenance payments, potential benefits top ups and how much each is earning.

However, the need to contribute equally in terms of money doesn't apply to a household where the parents are still together and one is earning enough to provide for all though.

Well why on Earth would you have ended up in a hostel if you were married to a rich man. That makes no sense.

@DoyalikeDags That's incredibly naive of you. He contested the divorce on grounds of the marriage not having irretrivably broken down(!) and it took years to get a divorce. By which time he'd hidden every single asset and claimed to be self-employed (ex accountant). I left for safety as he was abusive and within five hours he'd changed the locks on the marital home. He'd drained all funds and I had 79p in a single bank account.
We were left without clothes or any furniture when we did find somewhere, but luckily a fantastic church group helped us out with the basics. And toys which was kind. I got sick because I lost so much weight.
It's the same reason as to why I'm still living in a three-bed private rental whilst he lives in a 1.1 million property complete with swimming pool and hot tub.
If you think being married to a wealthy man gives you automatic protection from future financial abuse you'd be wrong.

So where are you getting this idea from? It seems the opposite of what most women on here talk about- complaining their husbands are useless and they have to do everything. Doesnt sound like they get looked after or treated like a princess.

Who says a real men treat women like princesses?

@Eagle2025 As in the alpha male attitude of "looking after" his woman so she doesn't ever have to work, take out a bin, shovel the drive etc.

Well it's a good job we have plenty alpha females these days who choose what kind of life they want. But also lots of women are happy to be taken care of too. So what?

@Eagle2025 Alpha being a synonym for controlling.

I’m as pro woman as they get…maybe a little sexist towards men too but I completely disagree. My DH treats me like a princess, he does way above his share of the weight, treats me like I’m someone special and values my opinion above everyone else’s. However I’m not spoilt gift wise, material objects mean nothing to me.