Is it really Andrew Tate or do some boys just have terrible role models in the home?

[snughugs]

I’m seeing all this sexism in class stuff on TV just now, they blame Andrew Tate for everything. I bet a lot of these boys have Fathers and male role models who are the type of men we read about on the relationship boards here. You know the guys who want a submissive provider.

The paper you've provided doesn't seem to put any effort into why men don't challenge for custody.

What are you basing the "content enough" statement on please?

I would suggest a lot of men are just financially and emotionally broken come the end of a divorce and not in a position to proceed with further legal action. Add on to that many loose possession of the family home so have no means to accommodate post separation.

Your statement also ignores the fact in about 60% of divorce cases parental alienating behaviours are a factor (insight.cumbria.ac.uk/id/eprint/7698) 75% of which is committed by mothers (https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9026878/).

Furthermore I was advised when a child gets to around 13 years of age a court will not typically go against their wishes when it comes to CAO's.

The existence of action groups such as fathers for justice and post divorce suicide rates in men would further support men are not typically happy with divorce outcomes.

I think most men are misogynistic on some level as a result of living in a patriarchal world, Andrew Tate just works off what’s already there and takes it to an extreme level. Young boys are more vulnerable to it because they lack the life experience that tells them otherwise, so they are naive and easily led.

Maybe men and boys are just disenfranchised after decades of being told they have it so good but not really seeing the evidence in their lived experience?

You think patriarchy doesn’t exist?

If you remove the Elon Musk's and Richard Branson's from the equation I don't see a lot of evidence that the typical working guy has somehow had a better deal in life than the average girl.

The patriarchy also negatively impacts men, it’s not just about women having it harder than men.

Reinforcing traditional gender stereotypes, as Andrew Tate does, reinforces the patriarchy and fuels misogyny as it promotes the notion that men are superior logical dominant beings and women are weak irrational submissive creatures who need to be led and controlled for their own good.

As we are all raised in a society and world that is still patriarchal the vast majority of men will have some misogynistic beliefs and the vast majority of women will have some internalised misogyny.

Tate just builds off that as naturally if you tell a people (especially young insecure naive people) they are superior and are destined to lead and dominate, but society is conspiring against them, that’s quite an appealing message.

Two men on average aren't killed by their partners. 1 in 3 men aren't sexually assaulted and 1 in 4 don't suffer domestic abuse.

They don't do the majority of childcare and housework whilst working. They are far more men in positions of power and they are paid more.

Did you see any of the Pope's funeral? It was all men, that's the patriarchy.

I can't say I've seen more than occasional snippets of AT and even then he was hard to see as anything but a parody.

Maybe he resonates with some because every other voice they hear is telling them how dreadful they are?

There was a recent poll that showed about 20% of young people viewed tate positively, about 15% of white respondents and 41% black respondents viewed him positively.

But genuinely, as a boy/man praise/affection and acts of kindness are a rare thing to receive indeed - discounting some mothers obviously.

The endless message of girls can do anything just isn't there for boys. Particularly white working class boys.

75% of suicides are men, 90% of workplace deaths are men, 80% of homeless are men, 90% of people in prison are men, women are twice as likely to graduate university as men, almost all combatants that die in war are men, women's life expectancy is roughly 5 years more than men. Significant numbers of men suffer domestic abuse but stigma, treatment by police and resources such as shelters are almost non existent.

As I say, both sexes face their own challenges, mens just tend to be ignored by society.

How are men ignored? They run the country.

Men need to step up then and start supporting and praising each other as women do instead of turning on women and blaming us for all of their problems. If there’s a lack of positive role models out there for young boys then it’s men who need to address that. If men don’t have support networks then they need to create them. This is what women have done and continue to do.

Holding men and boys accountable for their bad behaviour can’t stop just because it’s not what men want to hear.

Men still by and large run this world, they have more than enough tools and power to support each other and promote good role models, but it’s easier to blame women for all their problems instead of doing something to actually solve the problem.

The challenges facing men tend to be ignored by society, very little is being done about any of the things I've listed above. Prostate cancer affects about the same number of men as breast cancer does women but gets less than half the funding. No one is doing anything to get men in to typically female occupations in the way a massive amount of effort is put in to promoting female plumbers engineers etc.

Women have done all these things with large amounts of state funding which just doesn't exist for mens causes.

Male role models is a tough one because a lot of men are opting out of society after decades of being bashed, getting screwed over in divorce settlements, having their needs etc ignored.

A small number of highly successful men run the world - I'm not blaming women, I'm blaming society as a whole.

That's news to me. I thought men tended to take care of men's needs but you say they're all taking care of women's needs.

How come women are still being killed by their partners on a regular basis and rape convictions are so low? Why is there such a lack of support for working mothers?

Why hasn't porn been banned? It's detrimental to women. Why are women in low paid part time work because they're expected to accommodate school and nursery hours?

Why aren't men prosecuted for not paying for their children? Why are women so financially screwed after divorce?

Doesn't come across as a world run for women to me.

I haven't said men take care of women's needs, I haven't said women don't face hardships in life.

All domestic abuse is unacceptable, men tend to abuse physical, women tend to abuse mentally. This shows in higher murder rates in women and suicide in men. It's worth noting the highest reported rates of abuse are in FF couples, where as the lowest are in MM couples.

Prosecution rates for all crimes are shockingly low, based on CPS data. rape and sexual offences are about 6%, burglary 4.5%, vehicle theft 2.5%, robbery 6.5%, violent crimes 4.8%. We're not crap at prosecuting sexual offences, convictions in the UK are crap generally.

What support do male working parents have which female parents don't?

I can't comment on porn being damaging to women, about 4 million choose to sell content on OnlyFans, lots are making significant revenue from it. The best paid performers in porn were always women. YouGov found that about 43% of british women watched porn vs 73% of men. But if you look at women 18-34 that jumps to over 60%.

Scandinavian countries have done a massive amount to remove gender bias in employment and men still tend toward riskier more scalable work which is better paid and women the opposite.

Men who do not pay child care routinely have id deducted from their wages at source. The CSA are pretty brutal and unrelenting of working dads.

On average (based on need) women get significantly more from divorce settlements, the normal starting point until recent changes was 60:40 in her favour. All

A lot of what you say is disengenuous. For example, women are often the primary parent after divorce and you seem to find it unfair that their fathers are expected to contribute towards keeping a roof over their heads and food on the table.

Women have to pay for childcare if they want to work. They have bills, school uniforms, food, activities etc it's expensive to keep a child and we hear time and again how useless the CMS is because fathers hide their income.

Both men and women are capable of domestic abuse, however 1 in 4 women will experience it over their lifetimes. Men often financially abuse as well as emotionally/physically abuse. You seem to be suggesting that men are frequently killing themselves because of abuse by women - it would be great if you could back that up with evidence.

In Scandinavian countries there's more domestic abuse despite their endeavours towards gender parity. It's also a fact that domestic abuse increases if a woman earns more than her partner. Regarding work, women have childcare responsibilities which often means work is limited and less well paid.

I'm a massive advocate of fathers having 50:50 parental and financial responsibility for children. There are lots of scumbag dads who don't live up to this there are also a lot of mums who use kids as weapons but blame the dad instead.

Parents have to pay for childcare if they want to work, not mothers.

1 in 4 women report being victims of DA, this contrasts with 1 in 6 men, the stigma and society norms mean DA of men is less likely to be reported or treated seriously. I refer you again to the fact the highest level of DA are F/F relationships and the lowest in M/M.

There was an interesting article I cant find currently on DA, exclusion from seeing kids and relationship breakdowns and link between these to suicide in men. Journal of Family Violence – 2020 Study on Coercive Control and Men gives similar findings.

I can't really comment on DA in Scandinavia, that's not something I've ever read much on. Scandinavian countries have also done more than most to dismantle the nuclear family may well play a part.

I suspect the link between earnings and DA is not a simple one, some men being insecure is certainly s factor. However there is also a strong link between being less agreeable and earnings so maybe women who earn less are more argumentative than those that earn less.

However there is also a strong link between being less agreeable and earnings so maybe women who earn less are more argumentative than those that earn less.

There's absolutely no link whatsoever with high earnings and agreeableness. You seem to be saying that high earning women deserve a slapping for being argumentative. You don't know anything about DV but you're an expert on victim blaming and sweeping generalisations.

This evidence on men killing themselves and being victims of abuse - I'd love to see it.

Am I right in thinking men have entered the conversation? All you need to look at is the women dying at the hands of men. Are you seriously blaming women because men kill themselves? We best tip toe about not upsetting them by doing stuff like claiming support for the children they created.

@Laidbackluketell me two things-

Do you believe in 'the nuclear family' as in, two parents, opposite sex, in gender stereotyped roles?

Do you believe that men are more intelligent and capable than women?

snughugs · 06/05/2025 22:08

Am I right in thinking men have entered the conversation? All you need to look at is the women dying at the hands of men. Are you seriously blaming women because men kill themselves? We best tip toe about not upsetting them by doing stuff like claiming support for the children they created.

what planet do you live on maybe its this attitude when a relationship doesnt work out and the couple have children the woman assumes custody rights to the children gets to keep the home demands maintanence for children then think they get to call the shots when it comes to access and then lets not forget if the woman then moves on she can get remaried and that can make things worse as some will encourage the children to call the new partner dad unforunatly as far as some women are concerned men are only there to provide but not seen as equal that happens and that can lead to suicide so do i think women can be to blame for some male suicides yes and your living on another planet if you think thats not the case

Perfect28 · Yesterday 18:52

**tell me two things-
Do you believe in 'the nuclear family' as in, two parents, opposite sex, in gender stereotyped roles?
Do you believe that men are more intelligent and capable than women?

in most cases family means father mother and children

men are not more intelligant than women ive not seen any man post on here saying a man is but men are better at some things than women and vice versa so silly question

Provide the evidence that men are killing themselves because of abuse by women.

when a relationship doesnt work out and the couple have children the woman assumes custody rights to the children gets to keep the home demands maintanence for children

That's not factual. Custody starts at 50/50. She doesn't automatically get to keep the home but yes, fathers are expected to pay towards their children. Do you think that's wrong?

Provide the evidence that men are killing themselves because of abuse by women.
when a relationship doesnt work out and the couple have children the woman assumes custody rights to the children gets to keep the home demands maintanence for children
That's not factual. Custody starts at 50/50. She doesn't automatically get to keep the home but yes, fathers a
re expectd to pay towards their children. Do you think that's wrong?

you say that custody custody starts at 50/50 i know otherwise ill give u evidance theres judge judy i know youll laugh intially at me using her as evidance but she was a family judge for decades and said herself that for when it came to custody battles and the law, societys attitudes etc everything was geared towards the mother when it came to custody battles Ivve seen videos on yo tube where women relinquish rights to theyre children pay the father nothing then expect the father to pay them monthly theres loads of videos on youtube for everybody to see think its wrong because women give birth to the children and spend more time with them because the fathers out working to provide for the family that they women believe they have more rights where the children are concerned ive heard women say because they carried the child then gave biirth they believe they have more rights and think they get to dictate what happens to the children the father is expected to go along with it i dont need to provide you with anything
stop with this mindset that women are perfect or theyre victims and everything thats wrong with the world is a mans doing men arent perfect but neither are women and i know you wont want to hear this but your not always the victims either ill bring up something that hasnt been mentioned as its been brought up about domestic violance and rape did you know that its estimated that Research for the Home Office suggests that only 4% of cases of sexual violence reported to the UK police are found or suspected to be false. Studies carried out in Europe and in the US indicate rates of between 2% and 6% think of the male lifes those lies destroy they lose theyre relationships freinds family home access to theyre children literally everything and why because of a WOMANS lies it happens so take that in and then tell me men dont commit suicide because of a woman

In the year ending June 2024, approximately 36% (69,184 offences) of all sexual offences recorded by the police were rape offences. This was a 2% increase compared with the previous year (67,903 offences). [1] add another 2700 allegations that were lies by women and thats by home office statitics and thatll be in one year so 2700 mens lifes destroyed by womens lies and your telling me women arent responsible for men commiting suicide SURE!!!!!!!!