Unacceptable things that men do in relationships

[Superlambaanana]

...which women put up with but shouldn't.

I'd like to create a list of stuff women do for men and put up with from men because society has programmed us to - and which we often don't even recognise as unacceptable.

I'll start.

Expecting their wife/ girlfriend to be dressed up for them all the time while they make far less effort in return.

Huffing like a child if they don't get what they want/ have to do a domestic task they don't want to do (but expect their wife/ girlfriend to do anything and everything without complaint).

Women brushing stuff under the carpet to protect his ego. e.g. pretending something is fine because he bought it when in actual fact it's horrible/ doesn't work/ was a total waste of money.

Women doing days or weeks of exhausting prep for family events like Christmas and barbecues, only for men to do the last but of cooking and claim all the glory.

The purchasing of birthday cards and gifts and WRAPPING THEM WHICH I ABHOR, for every, single fucker in both families and wider acquaintances of which there can be far too many.

Ditto organising children's birthday parties.

Ditto organising Easter, Halloween and Xmas and any other social event.

None of the above would happen without women. I'm older than many of you on here so maybe this will change, but I doubt it.

No it bloody wasn't. Did I make ableist comments? No. Typical on here feminism the one place guaranteed to shame women for any choice other than a mantra.

In the current issue of the Boots Health and Beauty magazine there is an article written by a woman who suffered recurrent UTIs

A boyfriend actually "advised" her to shave off her pubic hair so it didnt harbour bacteria,

Even when a woman is ill a man will find a way to shoehorn his own sexual preference into it.

You're being daft now. You can dish it out, but clearly can't take it 🤷

What did the rest of the article say? Was it trying to sell razors or something?

No it was about the misery of UTIs and promoting NHS Pharmacy First

Are you in a playground?

Dish it out ? I detailed my sensory issues and you made fun of them? Your ableist attitude isn't acceptable today. Do better.

Why are you jumping to labelling others ableist?

No one here knows you in real life.
No one here knows you have ADHD or autism or any of the other conditions that make sensory issues a serious and debilitating problem?

I sincerely.hope you're not equating simply not liking a feeling with actual debilitating and life limiting sensory communication issues? Because that would be fucked up.

I don't like the sensation of a warm toilet seat, it doesn't mean I have a disability so anyone finding my.dislike odd, isn't being ableist.

At the risk of being called a misandrist, UTIs caused by sex is another area in which men need to step up. The articles all focus on the woman's hygiene, peeing after sex, drinking cranberry juice, long-term low-dose antibiotics (which potentially have long term health consequences), but fuck all about men making sure their hands and penises are clean.

I refer you to my earlier answers. I won't be engaging anymore with you: I get bored easily due to my adhd, and we're just going round in circles aren't we

I said sensation of hair on my leg was an issue. I didn't reference my sensory processing challenges initially, where I did I was made fun of. That is ableist.

I have experienced sensory, dyslexia and to be fair mild coordination challenges since childhood. I was told unless they prevented me engaging in school or work diagnosis was not possible, I am in Ireland and late 40s for context.

I haven't been assessed for ND, we have a family with many and sadly in some cases absolutely devastatingly impacted by ND. So I am familiar with the spectrum from me who is fortunate and able to work, engage with others and have a family to relatives who will never have capacity for typical life experiences.

With CBT and some work arounds E.g removing hair, using gloves for certain textures, I am able to get on. So it isn't easy but the supports I have sorted. So I would describe myself as being impacted but not devastating l so.

YES! My OM does it for me. Even if hes just had a wee he will go and wash before we have sex. And yes i know this is anecdotal

Domestic violence.....men often dont advertise this before women are trapped for example marriage or pregnancy. My ex certainly didn't. It came as a shock.
Relentless sex pestering.
Poor hygiene and bad breath.
Expecting me to be a servant.

Ive had the opposite DH hasnt touched me for 28 years. Not even a hug. And i have noticed that when it comes to sexless marriages that when its the man with the problem he can get away with burying his head in the sand much more than a woman does when its the reverse. IMO this is because of the misogynistic notion that women dont/shouldnt really like sex anyway, Whether that might be in the concious or sub concious of the man.

Your first mention of hair removal:

Marblessolveeverything · Yesterday 15:52

"I remove hair because I prefer to not have hairy armpits, legs or bikini line. It isn't rocket science 😭"

No mention of ND or sensory issues which is illogical.
"Why do you remove hair?"
If you do so for sensory issues, that the reason you'd have given.

Then a couple people ask why you prefer it.
To which you reply:

"Because I don't like the sensation on my legs or underarm. Because I feel less sweaty without it. It really isn't rocket science."

But also:

"And in my experience the only judgement is from other women, 😜. Hence three women quoting my choice..."

So it's only when three posters, of whom you don't know the sex, ask questions does the 'sensation' reason come out as justification.

Then op says:

"You must have really really sweaty legs if that's why you need to shave them."

"I have heard some bullshit in my days, but this really takes the biscuit."

To which you respond to the perceived insult by labelling them ableist..

So..

Your first reason for shaving was something, You prefer it.
but then it changed to ' not liking the sensation' when you felt the need to justify it.
then it changed again when you felt the need to weaponise it and accuse a person you dont know of being ableist because they said something you didn't like, even though you later admit to having no actual diagnosis of any sort...

Tl:Dr
You've self diagnosed and weaponised you self diagnosed issue to score points and try to silence an anonymous poster on Mumsnet.

You may as well have called OP a transphobe, terf, right wing, bitch, slapper or any other of the 1000s of names slung at women to shut them up.

I'm with PP. I won't respond to you again. If you do have ND people in your family, you should be ashamed of yourself trying to weaponise such things.

Thanks for that. I was trying to explain that a lot of women are just not facing how entitled their men really are. You explained it much better. I do think that women are so conditioned to accept less that when a man even does a small percentage of the childcare and housework they think he's a hero. They overestimate how much he actually does, and men gaslight their wives about how much they actually do to the point where a lot of women have come to believe it is equal. Hence the not my Nigel syndrome.

I'm also never having a relationship with a man again. Even the supposedly "nice" ones are massively entitled.

The sex pestering is so common that I believe most women don't even question it. Men's self-entitled attitude to sex is unreal.

Poor hygiene and not taking care of their looks is another big one. Yet if women let their looks go, they will get lectured from all quarters about how their husbands will leave them or cheat if they don't shape up.
Men also feel free to fart and burp loudly to their heart's content in front of women, and in many cases this is passive aggressive. They don't do those things at work, do obviously they can restrain themselves long enough to go to the toilet to do it.
Speaking of toilets, they also leave them stinking of their shit without a thought and rarely use the fan. They don't wash their hands properly.
I was watching a tv show where they set up an experiment in a bar to see how many men washed their hands. They found 60% did not wash at all and most of the rest just rinsed them briefly, even after taking a dump.
🤢

Truth. Since giving up men I haven't had a single UTI. I had so many of them throughout my life that I had to have scars burned off my urinary track. The recovery after that was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, including childbirth.
The male doctor told me it would not hurt.

No, of course not every woman and it's social conditioning, not brainwashing. They are not the same.
You seem to have an attitude problem and are starting fights on this thread over trivial bullshit like shaving your legs. I suggest you calm down and be reasonable if you want to be in a discussion. Your posts are being removed, presumably because you don't play well with others.

Great points.

The; "It's your Fault Because you picked the wrong men." thing is so tiresome.
As if there is an endless supply of men who treat women as equals. 🙄 So yeah, we don't actually have a choice if the overwhelming majority of men are entitled, other than to stay single. That's fine if you don't want kids, but most women do.
Sadly, it's standard to have to accept less than what we deserve because we don't want to end up alone or to have to be single parents. That is a men problem, not a women problem.

Yes. Im child free by choice and i can see its a darn sight easier (relationship wise) if you dont want kids

As if there is an endless supply of men who treat women as equals

Yeah, I'm not sure where all these nice, respectful, treat-women-as-equals men are. I'm sure they exist but where would I find one? Every time I thought I'd found one, I turned out to be horribly mistaken. I gave up

It always amazes me how when it’s pointed out men don’t make as much effort with appearance, women jump up shouting ‘Oooh my Nigel is soooo handsome. He is so attractive, in fact he could be mistaken for being 25 and he has 50.’
Errrr no incorrect. I pointed this out once on a thread. I can tell you now that your 50 year old balding, greying, wrinkled, fat trainer wearing bloke does not look my son. No way. His waist measurement alone gives it away. Never mind his lack of thick, shiny hair.
The expectations are far higher on women.
Well done if you can fully ignore the pressures, that is admirable.