What's your title?

[LorlieS]

I'm married.
I go by the title of Miss at work (primary teacher) and Ms everywhere else.
Hate it when people refer to me as Mrs S.
Nope - that's my mum!!!

@LorlieS the reasons why don't bother me tbh. I have a good husband.

Dr (Education so a real doctor not like medical doctors).

@Ladyof2022And so you should be ❤️
But Miss doesn't automatically indicate you don't have a man?

@Dacadactyl Not sure how your title indicates a "good" husband? Mine's a complete legend!

@LorlieS so what's the big deal about taking his name or a Mrs title?

The reality is you could have a hot turd on your finger for all I care. I was merely pointing out the contradictions of objecting to informing others of martial status through title use, whilst informing others of martial status through jewellery.

I said it would be odd for someone to purchase something they had no intentions of wearing, that has nothing to do with YOU.

Miss. Always a Miss, pre, during and post marriage. It feels dignified and I like being seen as an independent woman.

I’m a married Ms or Miss my name, I don’t really care which. I’m not that bothered if people call me Mrs husbands name if they don’t know though (different it they are making a point) likewise he often gets Mr myname and is ok with it.

Ms - I’m 50 and not married and “miss” feels a bit young. I live with my long term male partner so people will often call me Mrs Hisname. The funniest one is the vet where they say “is that MrsHisname, Cat-face’s mum?”.

Don’t get the big deaL about Ms? I’m a widow, so no longer a Mrs (obviously) and feels weird being a Miss since I was married. If anybody had an alternative to Ms for me I’d love to hear it?!

@Malarandras if I was ever widowed, I'd still call myself Mrs tbh.

@Malarandras Widows still go by Mrs. I'd still use Mrs if my husband died. It is your choice of course though.

@Malarandras You can absolutely go with whatever title you want ❤️

His Holiness

I refuse to use Ms as it means fuck all and is a fatuous construct.

All titles are fatuous constructs. I agree that in most contexts they mean fuck all and I'd far rather live without one at all.

But since this dated concept is still insisted upon, I am Dr MyFamilyName. At least I earned it, which makes it less fatuous than most. And the day I receive my professorial chair, I'll be using that title, too. Unapologetically so.

I also happen to love my husband. I never expected him to relinquish his past identity because he'd chosen to commit to me for life. He never expected the same thing of me. It never occurred to me to alter either my name or title on marriage.

Surely the point here is that if you can’t see a good reason to do something then why would you?

If taking your husbands name and a Mrs title makes you happy then crack on, but if you don’t see an active reason to do something (that does involve admin etc) then why would you? I’m happy with my own name and don’t see a reason why I would need to change that or my title.

Well yes, that's exactly the point.

I said it made sense for me to change my name and title because I have no problem with the tradional way and my DH is a good guy. Then OP seemed to suggest she wasnt happy with the tradition, even though her DH is also a good guy. So then I was just wondering what the issue was.

@SerafinasGoose I totally agree with everything you've said.

When I get my doctorate though I think I'll just stick with Miss/Ms (but still undecided). Not a medical doctor, BTW.

I'm a 'Mrs husband's surname' too and very happily so. I have no issue with others choosing to do what feels right for them, going down the traditional route was just something I personally wanted to do. Funnily enough my DH actually wanted me to keep my maiden name as 'that was who I was', but I preferred his name over mine and so decided to take it anyway!

@Dacadactyl Why on earth are you equating titles to whether or not your husband is a "good guy"?!!

@CloseTheCurtainsPleaseCould you have both db'd?

I'm not tbh. I'm wondering what the problem is with taking a man's name and a title showing you're married? Why is that a problem for you?

I’m a married Miss but only use a title when I have to. I hadn’t thought it too much until a car insurance company would only let me choose Mrs once I had selected married so I didn’t use them.

@Dacadactyl Why do I need to "show" I'm married?!!
The roots of the whole traditional of title and name change are firmly entrenched in patriarchy and double standards and this is not something personally I wish to continue to be a part of.
Each to their own.

@Dacadactyl

Ah, I read that as she doesn’t see why your husband being a good guy is a reason to change your title. If you mean he wanted you to and you were happy to oblige because he’s a good guy then I can understand but the way you’ve phrased it does sound a bit like if you are married to a good un you should want to change your name which OP took issue with.