What's your title?

[LorlieS]

I'm married.
I go by the title of Miss at work (primary teacher) and Ms everywhere else.
Hate it when people refer to me as Mrs S.
Nope - that's my mum!!!

Refer to myself as Mrs . Genuinely cannot be arsed with changing my title now! The world is fucked up enough without these arguments!

You don't need to and nobody actually cares. I'm not sure why you think people are remotely bothered by yours or anyone's martial status. Ms isn't a new thing. Going by Ms isn't exactly ground breaking.

You don't need to show you're married. But I don't see what the problem is with it personally, but like you say to each their own.

I'm not concerned about "the patriarchy" either, so I suppose that's why.

I once felt that, too. I thought using a professional title outside the workplace was just a bit pretentious. That was before I married, when I felt certain no one would give two shiny shits what I called myself, this being the 21st century and all that. Boy was I in for a sharp awakening, having never anticipated the sort of pushback and rudeness I would receive.

My usual alternative preference is for Ms. I'm quite happy with Miss, too. I often alternate between the two which means people have three choices and still get them wrong. But I am Mrs no one. I'm quite clear that my identity is mine.

I never anticipated the gratuitous offence this seems to cause people who are completely unaffected by others' personal preference of identity. My car dealers are the worst: I've asked them to change to an alternative title on numerous occasions and they always, always revert. Then take offence that I've asked. I've been with DH for 25 years and married for 15. Still, my MiL addresses me as Mrs Hisname.

I freely admit I have a chip on my shoulder. I'm beyond tired, and bored, with having to justify something that is by no means radical.

Miss until my 50s when I became Dr.

I couldn't deal with Ms at all as it never felt like it had a standardised pronunciation (Miz, Muhz, Mzz, whatever).

I hate Ms for the same reason. Just sounds shit.

We course have done, of course, like anyone can do, however I'm not really a fan of DB names personally and even if I was, ours names just wouldn't have worked together (both quite long and don't flow together). DH's surname was nicer sounding than my maiden name and it worked well with my first name so I was more than happy to switch to it. It was a pain transferring everything over to my new name, but my married name definitely feels like my name now and I am very happy I decided to take it.

@SerafinasGoose I know a married couple that are both Drs. When they went together to buy a new car and she went to sign for it they said (I kid you not): "Sorry Madam, you'll need to go and get your husband as it says here Dr ."
Unbelievable!!!

Hear, hear. I find it concerning that women are so apologetic about using professional titles, or think they need to surround it with caveats about not wanting to seem ‘pretentious’.

And those who think only medical doctors should use ‘Dr’ need to look up the history of its usage. It’s the other way round. Scholars using the title far predates any medical usage.

Shouldn't matter if you're male or female, either.

I prefer not to use any title, but if a form insists on it (and far too many do,) I use Ms, though I have a couple long standing accounts which are still Miss.

My favourite ever story along these lines is good ole United Airlines. I booked a flight, using my own personal credit card details. My name, my title of Dr. I was passenger 1. DH was Pax2 and DC Pax3.

When I later checked the booking, it had reverted to DH, as 'Mr', occupying the privileged status of Pax1.

DH laughed like a drain and took the piss for days! I couldn't not laugh with him, but for several seconds it was a toss-up between that or kick him 🤣

@SerafinasGoose I'd like to say I'm surprised! I'm pleased you laughed with your husband in the end, though.
Along similar lines, I get annoyed every time husband and I are out for dinner and staff automatically bring him the bill.
I make a point of putting my card on the bill but leaving it exactly where it was placed; then we watch them squirm when they come to take payment and my husband passes me the card machine!

Mrs as was happy to accept my married name but part of me thinks could've made it a double barreled one? I do think you lose a bit of a part of you when you change surnames but also at peace with taking on a new one because you love them. Then again, why shouldn't they take on ours? Tradition etc but it's changing so onward and forward...

Mrs but it's very rare that I'm addressed as that, I'm generally known just by my first name, and usually a shortened version of that, within 5 minutes of anyone speaking to me.

@Garlickit yeah, I get that. I was young when I got married. I wouldn’t change my name now given the choice but although I’m in a long term relationship, I’m unlikely to get married again.

Ms since I was 18, I'm 55 now. I've never been married, but I generally I'm now called Mrs due to my age. DD is 20 but uses miss, which I'm mildly disappointed about. I also really hate the is that Mrs or Miss question. If there's no option for Ms then I might choose Mr 🤷‍♀️.

This reminds me of a situation about 20 years ago when I helped a customer out over the phone. He said I'd been very helpful and wanted to let my boss know and asked for my name. I thanked him and saud my name was Rift Gibbon*. He then asked what title I had. I said there was no need to use that, I'm the only Rift Gibbon here.
He wouldn't leave it and asked again "All I want to know is if you're Miss or Mrs" and I made the mistake of asking why he needed this information, given that I had already told him my name twice. He then got huffy, told me not to bother and hung up.
He never did tell my boss I'd been helpful and saved him lots of money. He did complain though that I "had an attitude".

*Obviously not my actual name

Mrs. I would hate to be called Ms.

Why?

When I later checked the booking, it had reverted to DH, as 'Mr', occupying the privileged status of Pax1.

I've had my Dr mutated to Mr ...on a prescription for oral contraceptives.

Used Mrs since I got married (a long time ago).
I like the fact that people can tell whether I'm married or not from the title.
In fact, rather than doing away with Mrs I'd rather a married equivalent for Mr was introduced.

Dr as I have a PhD, before that I was a Ms.

As noted by a previous pp I've been called Mrs under the assumption that my male partner was the Dr. That's pretty much when I became a stickler for using my correct title whenever a title is required. Female PhDs who modestly decline to use their correct title aren't doing women any favours.

@deydododatdodontdeydo Why do you want other people/strangers to know you're married?

Wow! First world problems eh?! When I married, in 1995, I made a commitment and part of that commitment for me, was becoming a Mrs. I don't feel like I've lost my identity at all! I don't view myself as his property just by having the title Mrs! And he doesn't see me as that either! I am still my own person, the title Mrs or not! I don't know why people need to make a personal stand about this; what you prefer your title to be, letting people know whether you're married or not. Because to be fair, at the end of the day, nobody actually cares but you!

@LorlieS I guess 25 years ago it was because I wanted people to know it was a serious relationship, not like the previous flings, and that I (and DH) were "off the market".
These days more habit than anything else.