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Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

Found grinder on daughters phone

62 replies

Renaxkta · 19/10/2023 15:27

As above really… I found grinder on my 17 y/o DD’s phone. Has anyone got an idea as to what she might be doing with such an app. It’s for gay men, right!!?

OP posts:
watcherintherye · 19/10/2023 15:34

More to the point, has anyone got an idea as to what you might be doing, snooping on your 17yr old dd’s phone?

Kedece2410 · 19/10/2023 15:35

No its an app for LGBT people.

You do know women can be gay too?? 🙄

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 19/10/2023 15:37

watcherintherye · 19/10/2023 15:34

More to the point, has anyone got an idea as to what you might be doing, snooping on your 17yr old dd’s phone?

This. If my mother had ever gone through my phone when I was 17, she wouldn't have seen me for dust. What a gross invasion of privacy.

Original poster
Renaxkta · 19/10/2023 15:38

She was groomed when she was younger so I struggle at times to give her the independence she needs. I am going through counselling but this has reignited some of my fears.

OP posts:
Leo227 · 19/10/2023 15:38

presumably she either uses it as its intended or was curious and downloaded to have a look?

LubaLuca · 19/10/2023 15:39

I think it's for all non-heterosexual people. What's this got to do with feminism though? And why are you finding stuff on your daughter's phone?

Redglitter · 19/10/2023 15:39

Why were you going through your 17 year old daughters phone & does she know

Original poster
Renaxkta · 19/10/2023 15:41

Grinder is a hookup app for gay men.

OP posts:
Original poster
Renaxkta · 19/10/2023 15:42

Do women use grinder to hook up with bisexual men?

OP posts:
Leo227 · 19/10/2023 15:45

@Renaxkta your daughters sexuality or what she's using the app for is none of your business until a time she wanted to discuss this with you. unless you intend to make her hate you , do not "out her " and let her know you've done this. and leave her alone

JustAMinutePleass · 19/10/2023 15:47

Straight women go on there for threesomes - it’s not for lesbians.

Original poster
Renaxkta · 19/10/2023 15:49

My daughter is 17. It’s very concerning to me if she is having sex with strangers. I am concerned about attitudes on this platform. I wouldn’t care about her being gay but grinder isn’t for gay women. I am not outing her…

OP posts:
JamSandle · 19/10/2023 15:49

Definitely not an app for lesbians. Grindr is for gay men or bisexual men.

Makethemostofit · 19/10/2023 15:51

I think it’s okay to snoop on a 17 year old’s phone, especially if you are paying for it and they are living at home. Seeing which apps they’ve got is one thing, I don’t think it is right to read private messages unless you are seriously concerned. If she has been groomed in the past, it’s right to be worried.

Makethemostofit · 19/10/2023 15:54

There is also the possibility she is just being nosey. I got married before tinder came out and I was curious about what it was, if friends hadn’t let me look at theirs, I think I may have downloaded it. Many, many apps are downloaded onto phones and then forgotten about.

LakeTiticaca · 19/10/2023 15:55

I think you are right to be concerned given that she has been groomed in the past. 17 is still very young despite being legal.
If I were you I would just reiterate that she can always talk to you about anything, without judgement

Miyagi99 · 19/10/2023 16:25

Renaxkta · 19/10/2023 15:41

Grinder is a hookup app for gay men.

It’s not.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 19/10/2023 16:25

Miyagi99 · 19/10/2023 16:25

It’s not.

Show quote history

It most definitely is!

Ripleysgameface · 19/10/2023 16:33

I go through my teens phone OP so you're not alone.
I pay the bill so I'll do what I like. It's to make sure there's nothing on there that shouldn't be. I'm not sure why she'd have grinder but I'd ask if I were you.

I have sons, gay or not they wouldn't be allowed to have that app at that age. We all know it's a casual sex hook up for gay men.

hwaclanhdead · 19/10/2023 16:38

When a relative of mine was in her late teens she and her friend downloaded grindr and had "fun" winding up gay guys by flirting with them.
They also used it to find out who was gay in their college and local area.
So she could be just messing around/having a laugh.

I don't know how you could talk to her about it really without revealing that you snooped. But she shouldn't be on there - my relative said as soon as you contacted someone you got a dick pic.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 19/10/2023 16:48

We all know it's a casual sex hook up for gay men.

Apart from the people on this thread who think it’s for lesbians 😆

SomersetBrie · 19/10/2023 16:55

Ripleysgameface · 19/10/2023 16:33

I go through my teens phone OP so you're not alone.
I pay the bill so I'll do what I like. It's to make sure there's nothing on there that shouldn't be. I'm not sure why she'd have grinder but I'd ask if I were you.

I have sons, gay or not they wouldn't be allowed to have that app at that age. We all know it's a casual sex hook up for gay men.

I'd imagine a 17 year old DS who has regular phone checks would have become fairly adept at hiding stuff he didn't want his mum to know about.

PinkMoscatoLover · 19/10/2023 16:57

Miyagi99 · 19/10/2023 16:25

It’s not.

Show quote history

It 100% is

AllWeWantToDo · 19/10/2023 16:58

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 19/10/2023 16:48

We all know it's a casual sex hook up for gay men.

Apart from the people on this thread who think it’s for lesbians 😆

Well apparentky its for all

Why can’t I filter for Cis Men or Cis Women?

A: When designing gender settings on Grindr, it was important to us to not further perpetuate discrimination and harm for the trans and nonbinary community. For this reason, we allow filtering based on gender - you can specify that you want to see men or women - but this will include all men or all women, because trans men are men and trans women are women. You can also filter for trans and nonbinary people, as we know it’s critical for this community to be able to find each other easily.